Chapter 23 DUSTY
Chapter twenty-three
DUSTY
I knew Jacob and Joe were together last night, and it didn’t bother me like I thought it would.
It was strange because I had spent the evening wanting to text one or both.
Most people would probably be jealous, but more than anything, I wanted to know if they had fun.
Did they have sex? Did they talk about me?
The only way I could describe it was feeling left out.
This whole thing was new to me. I hadn’t been interested in anybody in a long time.
Since I met Montgomery a few years ago, I had hooked up once, at one of the tour stops.
When Joe entered my life, having someone to fool around with regularly was a perk.
Having a relationship was something I had adamantly sworn against. Somehow, though, Joe had reached my heart, and I could see myself being with him.
Joe wasn’t like most men, starting with letting me be myself.
If I wanted to talk, he would listen, but if I wanted to have sex and leave, that was okay too.
We had spent hundreds of hours on the couch where we talked about nothing, or didn’t talk at all.
Joe had flirted and teased, wanted to have sex, and one day, I finally gave in.
That was the best decision I had ever made.
The only thing that changed between us after that was sometimes we’d get off, but the long talks were still part of our routine, and I really liked that about him.
Now I had this amazing bond with him, and I wanted to build on it—I wasn’t willing to give up what we had. Telling him that maybe there could be more between us terrified me, but he took it in stride. Of course, he did because it was Joe, and that was how he was.
Jacob’s return to my life was like some sort of fever dream.
There was still a bond between us that would never be broken, and there was no doubt I felt comfortable enough to share my secrets with him.
I didn’t know him as a man, though. There could be a forever for us, but that was something we needed to work out over time—but there was Joe.
This was a situation I had never expected.
I had feelings—very strong feelings—for both men.
It was easy for me to see myself with either man, both different, offering me what my heart needed.
How did I go from having no feelings and being content to having too many feelings?
I wanted to talk this out, and I couldn’t go to either of the men who were now always in my head.
DUSTY
I’m coming over. You know why.
MONT
Now?
Arthur is here. Does he need to leave?
DUSTY
None of it is a secret. It’s up to him if he wants to stay.
MONT
I was afraid you’d pick me.
DUSTY
You saved me once. Time to do it again.
MONT
I’ll pour some scotch and get comfortable. See ya in ten.
There wasn’t much Mont could do to help, but saying it out loud would help me organize my thoughts.
He would likely have some feedback. When I was on tour with him, he shared stories from his past. When he fell for Arthur, it had changed everything for him, and he was happier than I had ever seen him.
And I had spent a year as his fake boyfriend.
As I pulled into the driveway, Arthur and Mont were making out like teenagers on the porch.
“Is this really necessary?”
They both turned toward me. “Yes.”
Arthur shook his head, walked down the steps, and then stopped in front of me.
“Got yourself in quite the pickle, didn’t ya?
” He squeezed my shoulder. “I don’t want to hear anything about my brother’s sex life, and certainly don’t want to hear about anything that Mont did in the past.” He headed to his truck.
Mont pulled me into a hug. “Come on in. I figured you’d need to talk before too long.”
We went into the living room where their dragons waited patiently, and when I sat down, Mont picked up the scotch in the fancy crystal decanter and poured us each two fingers.
He brought out the good stuff. This was going to be a tough conversation.
Drake Mont’s dragon was shuffling back and forth, then would look at his companion, waiting for permission to move.
“Go ahead and cuddle him, guys,” he said as he sat on the couch and took a sip of his drink.
Drake came over and got on my shoulder, nudging at the neck of my shirt.
Drake, Mont, and I had been together for hours when we were on the road, so the dragon knew me.
I pulled the neck of my shirt forward, and he slid under the fabric and down my chest.
Drachen got on my lap and nudged his brother through my shirt. I held them both tight against my stomach and let their energy soothe me.
Mont gave me a soft smile, knowing exactly how time with these little beasts could help me release anxiety.
I looked at my friend, and I knew I had to put on my big-boy pants and share how I felt.
“I didn’t know who else I could go to about this.”
“This?” He snorted. “You mean the fact that you find yourself involved with two men?”
“Yeah. That’s the thing.” I rubbed the back of my neck.
“I am assuming your heart is involved here. It’s not only about the sex?” His face was really serious.
I blushed. “The sex is really good with them both, but I have feelings for them. I don’t really know Jacob as an adult. Getting to know him will take time, but we have a bond. And Joe is incredible. We’ve been fooling around for a while, but we have a great friendship.”
Mont looked at me and nodded. “Can’t say I’ve had this type of experience. As I told Joe, make sure you are honest with each other, including sharing any feelings you have.”
“The problem is, I don’t want to let either of them go. I am aware how greedy that is.” I knew by now I was beet red. Drake started shuffling under my shirt, getting more comfortable.
“Are they asking you to pick?”
“That’s the kicker, everyone seems okay with the situation.” I pressed my lips together, hearing my words. If everyone was okay where we were, why was I worrying? “Yup. I heard it. Everyone is good, so why fret?”
“Looks like you got it in one. All three of you are adults. You are behaving like adults and having a good time. They’re honest with you and you with them. There isn’t a problem.” He picked up his drink and took a big swallow, then pointed to mine. “Drink some, it will make you feel better.”
He was right, it did make me feel better.
When Arthur got back, we had Italian food that he had picked up.
Talk turned to our next tour stop and the band’s plans.
They also had a third anniversary coming up and were thinking about having a party.
I reminded myself I needed to spend more time with these guys—they were my friends, my family—and it was fun.
In my living room, I realized I had two guys I was dating, and I was home alone. As far as I knew, all three of us were at our own homes tonight. There were tons of platitudes about spending time with yourself so you could be more well-rounded.
DUSTY
What are you doing tomorrow?
JACOB
No plans.
DUSTY
Come over, we’ll drink some wine? Get naked?
JACOB
Sounds like a good time. Be over after work at 5:00 p.m.?
DUSTY
I’ll be here.
At least I knew I wouldn’t be alone tomorrow night. Then on Sunday, I was going to Joe’s for brunch. We’d texted during the week but hadn’t been alone together since Jacob, and I reunited. I was going to follow my own advice, get to know both men, and figure things out as we went along.
When Jacob arrived the following day, I had to admit that having him on my doorstep felt amazing.
I jumped into his arms, kissed him hard, then wrapped myself around him like a baby koala and hugged him tight.
Not missing a beat, he carried me back into the house using his foot to close the door, then set me on my counter.
“I missed you, too.” His tongue slipped between my lips, and I sucked on it. He pulled back and grabbed my lip between his teeth. “You’re so feisty.”
“It’s still hard to believe you are here, with me.” I started to laugh, unable to help myself. “All these years, it seemed impossible. I searched for you sometimes, but cattle ranches don’t usually list employees, and you changed your name. None of that matters. You are here now.”
He stepped back and looked me up and down. “Yes, I am, and it feels really good.”
“Let’s hang out and get to know each other. I made a charcuterie board.”
He grinned at me, then laughed. “You made us a charcuterie board? That is the cutest thing ever.”
“Stop. Everyone likes meat and cheese. I’ve become a pretty decent cook over the years.” I pulled the appetizer out of the fridge with two hard lemonades.
He turned and gave me a look. “You realize that’s not cooking.”
It felt good to tease each other, a familiarity between us after all these years that hadn’t gone away. There was a fire between us that stayed at a low smolder whenever we were together—I liked it. He made me feel good, safe, and cared about. His presence was solid.
“No. But the chicken Alfredo I’m making us for dinner is most certainly cooking.”
“Dude. That’s one of my favorites.”
I didn’t even try to look away as I watched him lick his lips.
“I remember.”
“So you plan to seduce me with a charcuterie board and cheesy pasta?” Jacob poked my ribs, which made me squirm as we had done as teenagers.
“Will it work?” I asked, giving him a grin.
Stepping between my legs, he kissed me, tongue demanding my attention, hand on my neck locking us together until we were breathless.
“It will definitely work.” He said against my lips.
Picking up the board on the table, Jacob walked into the living room, pulled off his boots, and sat on my couch like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“Want to watch some Ren & Stimpy?”
“Yes.” He started an episode.
He held up his bottle of lemonade. “Here’s to a forever friendship, and full hearts.”
We tapped them together, then he leaned over and kissed me. There was a lot of emotion behind the kiss. Even though there was a big gap between the years we were together, something still existed.
We cuddled on the couch and watched reruns of a show we had spent hours watching as kids. Sharing stories about our past, including the men that we met and where they fell short. He laughed when I told him about Mont and how we ended up friends and fake boyfriends.
He told me about trying to find someone who understood him as I did. They didn’t like that he would run when he was upset about something, or they would expect him to act more gay. The fact that he could easily pass as straight seemed to offend a lot of people for some reason.
After eating dinner, we returned to the couch, and I put my head on his lap.
We turned on a movie, and he ran his fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp.
It was soothing. This man was still one of my best friends, someone who knew so many of my secrets, and I would share everything with him still.
There were lots of kisses, and we had jacked each other off earlier in the evening when things got a little intense, but this was nice, almost perfect. I had real adult feelings for Jacob. It was comforting to know there was a powerful connection between us, one that made me want to be with him.
“Can I share some secrets?” I asked as he looked down at me. He muted the TV.
“It feels good to have you in my life again. There has been a Jacob-sized hole in me since you left. I still love you very much, and maybe I am not in love with you like I was, but I am certainly falling.”
His eyes were dark, and he gave me a sweet smile. “I feel the same way, Dusty. Loving you has kept me going all these years. I wasn’t sure if I’d find you again, but I hoped. And maybe you are right, I am not in love with you yet, but I am falling for you too.”
Those were some of the sweetest words I had ever heard. Honestly, I was relieved that Jacob wanted me too.
“That wasn’t the secret, though. Remember when we realized we wanted to touch penises. Then we told each other, and we promised we would never keep secrets from each other.”
We both chuckled. “I do remember. Tell me your secret, Dusty.”
There was no way for me to stop this train, but I was ready to tell him, if there was a way for us to be happy together, he needed to know. “I miss Joe.” Then I swallowed hard. “I might be falling for him, too.”
I didn’t feel him tense up, which is what I expected, but he leaned his head back on the couch. The way his hand continued to stroke my head was comforting, and made me believe he wasn’t mad or hurt.
“I need to tell you my secret then. I miss him too, and I might love him.” He looked down at me and released a huge breath. “Now what do we do?”
“I. Well. I don’t want to give either of you up. Is this situation sustainable?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Could we be happy like this? I am happy now.”
I gave it a lot of thought. “I am, too. I guess for now, we keep this up and see what happens.”
“I agree.” He nudged me into a sitting position. “Now let me show your ass how much I like you, and I am spending the night.”
Grabbing my hand, we went to the front door, made sure it was locked, and then we went into my bedroom, where he did exactly as promised. His cock filled me, making me see stars, and he made me come harder than I ever had because we had love. Jacob was falling for me, and I was falling for him.
We curled around each other and slept soundly. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t restless. Telling him I was falling for him and Joe aligned things for me, and this was going to be the start of something complicated, but amazing.