Chapter 29 DUSTY
Chapter twenty-nine
DUSTY
I held Jacob’s hand tightly, terrified I would lose him too. My life had opened up so much over the last few months, and now the threat of Joe being gone sent me into panic. I was shaking uncontrollably.
Jacob pulled me against him and mumbled into my hair. “We can be like the eagles. They figured it out.”
As we headed to our room, the luxury of this hotel was everywhere, and it meant nothing. The only thing that mattered was that in one of the rooms was Joe—my Joe. No, our Joe. We entered our room and left our bags at the door.
“Do we know what room he is in?” Jacob startled me out of my thoughts even though he spoke in a normal tone of voice.
I looked at the text Martin Wilson had sent while we were in flight. I had no idea why he was so invested in our relationship, but he had included room numbers. And I knew I owed him many times over for his help.
MARTIN W
Make sure you ride him hard.
Convince him he should come with you both.
I wasn’t even sure what to think about his text messages. Now wasn’t the time to address it, but he had to know what he’d said. I hoped he meant convince him.
“He sent the room number. It’s twenty-five-zero-five.” I allowed myself a moment to smile, “We are in twenty-five-zero-seven.” The universe is being kind.
The suite was huge with a full kitchen, dining room, and living room. Floor-to-ceiling windows looked out over the Pacific, beckoning guests to visit.
“He’s going to be mad,” Jacob said as he stood by the windows. I could hear—feel—the pain in his voice. “Dusty, we should talk.”
“Come here.” I sat on the couch and pulled Jacob into my arms. “We’ll figure this out,” I whispered against his head. We curled into each other and let the tears fall.
“Dusty, I love you, but I love him too.” He said while we held each other. I knew his words should spark jealousy. They didn’t, though the fact that he loved Joe made me feel happy, content, and hopeful.
With my hand on his cheek, I made him look at me, then kissed him gently. I needed him to know how much I loved him, and I tried to convey that with this kiss.“I love you, Jacob, so very much, but I love him too.”
“So you are saying we both want this? We want a relationship with all of us? Share our lives, our love, and a happily ever after.” I knew we had already discussed this, but I needed to make sure. I hate that he looked so sad. All I wanted to do was take his pain away.
“I know it’s crazy, Jacob, but yes, I want all three of us to be together. We could be amazing together, all of us making a life that isn’t conventional but would be perfect.”
“Then let’s figure out how to bring him back to us, make him understand we can be happy together.”
Now that we had confirmed that this was real and we were both all in, we decided to wait until the following day before going to him. We took turns pacing, going over ideas, and when words no longer came, we lay in bed and held each other.
Unable to lie in bed any longer, I stood at the patio doors watching the waves as the sun rose. It was too early to go next door. Worry plagued me that Joe would turn us both away. When Jacobs's large form wrapped around my back, and he kissed my neck, I felt immediately more confident in the plan.
Because of the letters he left, it was clear that he was hurting too, so we assumed he would be in his room licking his wounds and not out doing touristy things. Neither of us could eat as we continued to wait.
We decided to go over at noon, hoping Joe would order lunch and wouldn’t be suspicious about a knock at his door. Jacob and I decided I would go alone, not wanting to overwhelm him.
Once I was outside his door, I had to stomp down the panic. “He will let me in, he will hear what I say,” I whispered to myself moments before I knocked.
“Oh, good. I’m starving.” I heard him say behind the door, his voice causing sparks across my skin. Then the door was opened, and he and I were face-to-face.
“Dusty.” He said on an exhale. “You shouldn’t be here. We can’t do this.”
“We can, Joe. We have to. Please listen to me.” I begged.
I could see the vulnerability in his eyes, a tear escaping. “Dusty.” That was all he said before he turned and walked back into his suite. He didn’t close the door, so I took that as an invitation to follow him.
“Can we talk?”
“I told you everything you needed to know. You and Jacob are perfect together. I’m in the way.” Bile rose in my throat. How could he possibly think that? He was an essential part of my life now.
“You said in your letter that you loved me. Is that true?”
Questioning that clearly insulted him, he turned on me, growling. “Yes.”
“Do I get to have an opinion on this? It feels like you made a choice for me, but I should have some say, shouldn’t I? What about Jacob? Shouldn’t he get a say?” Swallowing hard, I hoped I wasn’t pushing too hard.
“Dusty, it’s obvious that you and Jacob belong together. Twelve years didn’t change how the two of you feel about each other. There is an energy between you that is palpable.”
Now was the difficult part. “Joe, you aren’t wrong about that. But what about how I feel about you? I’m in love with you, Joe. How does that fit in your plan?”
I could see the pain in his eyes again. “You. That’s not. No.”
“What? Can’t I love you both? You love us both. It’s not impossible because it’s happening to you, too.” Standing up, he walked over to the windows, his back to me.
“Jacob—”
“Jacob should be allowed to make his own choices.”
Taking a chance, I walked up behind him. I put my hand on his hips and leaned toward his ear. “Don’t give up on this thing between us, Joe. I understand how you feel, and I won’t deny that I love Jacob, but that doesn’t change my feelings for you.”
“You want to split your time between us indefinitely? I want to share my life with a partner, but I can’t keep dating both of you. It’s exhausting. And obviously, one of you picking me isn’t an option.”
“What if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if there could be another way for us?”
He turned around, and I couldn’t help but kiss him gently. His hands moved to mirror my own, grounding me. I felt whole for the first time since I got that fucking note.
“There isn’t.” He stepped away from me and returned to the couch.
I pulled my phone out and sent a text.
DUSTY
You need to come over. We need to tell him our idea.
JACOB
On my way.
I needed Jacob here to help explain how we could all be a family. Relief washed through me when there was a knock at the door. When Joe opened it, room service was wheeled in.
“Finally.” He grumbled. As soon as the door closed, there was another knock.
“Did something get— Jacob? You two came together?”
“Hi,” Jacob said while still in the hall.
“You two need to leave. This is too much.” Joe pointed toward the door.
Not wanting to make this a hostile situation, I did as he asked. My stomach dropped because he seemed furious.
“Okay. We are next door.” I said quietly.
“Of course you are. Leave me alone and go home.”
His rejection was too much, and I couldn’t stop the tears.
My heart ached, and as soon as I looked at Jacob, it hurt even more because he looked crushed.
It felt like I was going to be sick, so I ran out the door.
In our room, I dropped to my knees, unable to stop the sobbing. I couldn’t lose him—we needed him.
Joe needed his space, and we had discussed that this would likely be his response, but it didn’t make this situation any easier. We sat around our room and sulked. There were five more days in the hotel, and I was determined to make Joe understand.
“You told him that there could be another way, right?” Jacob asked.
“Yes.”
He smirked at me. “He’ll come to us. Think about the Joe we love. He is more curious than a cat, and he’ll want to know what that meant.”
Shit. He was right, Joe won’t let that go. “So we wait?”
“Yeah. We wait.”
This was going to kill me, but Jacob’s confidence helped me feel better.
Neither of us felt like going out, so we ordered room service after not eating in at least twenty-four hours.
My patience wore thin, and I desperately wanted to go next door and demand something from Joe, even though I wasn’t sure what to ask for.
We climbed into bed at 11:00 p.m., and Jacob was still confident that Joe would come to us. I woke up to pounding on our door. It was 1:30 a.m., and Jacob bolted upright.
“It’s him.”
Completely confident, he sprinted to the door naked and threw it open.
“What did Dusty mean by there could be another way?” Joe walked into the room and sat on the couch.
I joined them in the living room, pulling on my underwear as I went, and threw Jacob his so he didn’t have to do this naked.
The three of us sat down, and it was impossible not to feel the heat between us. There was so much chemistry, so much love in this group.
“I don’t suppose Martin told you about the eagles?” Jacob asked.
Joe looked at him like he had lost his mind. Those fucking eagles were becoming a theme for our entire relationship.
“What? Yes. When I dropped off those papers, he went on and on about the eagles and how they made a family together, even though it wasn’t what usually happened in nature. The man is obsessed with those fucking birds.”
I looked at Jacob, who didn’t take his eyes off Joe. You could see Joe processing the information about the birds, his brain trying to catch up.
“It seems like he told each of us about the eagles and how the three of them made a family together. Odd, right?” Jacob smiled.
“I spent the entire day trying to figure out how this thing could work without someone being hurt. The three of us can’t keep up as we have been. Like I told Dusty, it’s exhausting.” He said, as he sighed. “I want to be with both of you. And I can’t choose so removing myself is the solution.”
Jacob stood up and moved closer to Joe, taking his lead. I moved to his other side. “What if we were like the eagles?” Jacob asked.