20. Chapter 20
twenty
M ax locked the deadbolt on the door, then turned to find Willow standing in the middle of the dining room, just where she had been. Her head was bent low, her face in her hands, and her body shook as tears slid down her cheeks, escaping her hands and forming little drops on the floor.
He closed the distance between them and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head softly and rubbed her eyes as if she could erase the scene that had just played out in front of them.
He couldn’t believe anyone would speak to her like that without getting slapped across the face. He knew her only as a sharp-witted, funny, sarcastic, capable, creative woman. And he loved that woman. But that hadn’t sounded like her at all .
If he’d read a transcript of that conversation instead of witnessing it with his own eyes, he’d never have believed it was Willow.
He’d wanted so badly to step between them and shield her from that, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place. He’d already pushed it enough when he’d stepped out of the office. But the tone of that fucker’s voice was so abusive, he couldn’t stop himself.
She should be happy he hadn’t dragged Shane out of there and tossed him into the parking lot where he belonged.
Max reached under her chin, tipped her face up. It made him sick to see her like that, head hung low as if she’d done something wrong, when she’d done nothing wrong. It was her fucking money, and she could spend it however she wanted.
He’d known from the first word out of Shane’s mouth that his anger had nothing to do with her and everything to do with his own insecurities. He was a toxic narcissist. And apparently, a master at it, if Willow’s shift in demeanour was any sign.
As if on cue, her head dipped back down, even lower than before, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He pulled her against his chest, wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He wanted to offer her some comfort, but he also wanted to hide her tears so he didn’t have to see them.
It was more than he could take. He knew his feelings for her were growing, but seeing her like this made him realize how much.
She tensed for a second, then melted against him, pressing her face into his chest. He tightened his arms and stayed like that for a few minutes to give her a chance to process what had happened before he asked the question that was burning inside him.
“Does he always talk to you like that?”
His voice came out garbled and tight, exposing how strangled with anger he was.
“Not always . . .” she said, her voice muffled by his shirt. “I’m so embarrassed that you saw that.”
“You have nothing to be embarrassed of,” he said. “All of my anger and judgment is on that guy. He’s fucking horrible.”
She started shaking her head. “I lied to him. This is my fault. He came all the way here. He hates flying, won’t even go on vacation because he hates it so much, and he came here and found out that I lied to him.”
It was extremely telling that she was worried about his feelings at a time like this. Not to mention the fact that he would get on a plane to come yell at her but not to go have fun with her.
Was his definition of fun bringing people down ?
“Don’t make excuses for him. He’s a manipulative asshole.”
She pulled away from his chest and glanced up at him with those pale eyes, looking even more green against the bloodshot red of her sclera.
He wanted to chase the guy down and break all his fingers.
“Come sit down,” he said, turning and guiding her toward their office.
Once he’d settled her into the chair, he leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms. He’d almost hoped her fiancé would come back and apologize just so she could stop hating herself, but there was no sign of him. He hadn’t even stuck around to make sure she was okay.
He was just gone.
Max shook his head. He probably got away with treating people so badly because he’d been doing it for so long to the same people that they were used to it.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her head still down. “I didn’t know he was going to come here and freak out. I thought I’d be able to go home and tell him when the timing was better.”
His heart rate sped up at the thought of her going back there, and he realized in that moment how badly he wanted to protect her, shelter her, keep her there with him where she wouldn’t have to feel bad about being herself.
“Don’t let anyone talk to you like that, ever again,” he said, going into “lecture mode,” as Cara called it. But there was no controlling that, now. He was fucking livid. “If you don’t have it in you to tell them to go fuck themselves, then you need to ignore them until they talk right.”
“He wouldn’t even listen to me.”
“Exactly. So you don’t fucking talk to him.”
She looked up at him as if he were deranged. “I should just sit there in silence, staring at him?”
Max glared at her silently.
Her pretty eyes doubled. “I can’t do that,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t let silence just hang there all awkwardly.”
“Yeah, because you’re trying too hard to make him happy. You have no fucking problem giving me shit, so I know you have it in you.”
“It’s different with you,” she said with a head shake.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t . . . need you . . .” She trailed off, losing all gumption, dropped her face back down to her lap.
Max stared in shock. “You don’t need him, either. In fact, you’d be way better off without him.”
She shook her head. “He’s my—”
“Anchor,” he said, cutting her off before he had to hear the word fiancé again.
Her brows drew together. “What?”
“It’s like he’s got you tethered down at his level, drowning, and he makes you feel bad that you’re better than him so he can keep you from going after what you want. People like that are fucking awful.”
She stared at him for a long moment as her expression softened back into the pretty, confident look he’d grown accustomed to.
“You keep saying nice things to me.”
Max’s shoulders relaxed a little, and he rolled the anger out of his neck. “I’m not that nice.”
“You are,” she said, matching his smile, and he couldn’t believe the relief he felt now that she was looking like the woman he knew.
It was as if she’d lifted a three-hundred-pound barbell from his chest.
“You hide it well, but you are nice, Max.”
She stood from her chair, and this time, her head stayed up. “Thanks for the pep talk. I’m gonna go home now and cry myself to sleep.”
She leaned toward him, rose to her tiptoes, and put her arms around his neck in a hug.
He immediately relaxed into the hug and brought his arms around her, his chin down lightly on her head. He hated the idea of her going home alone, crying into her pillow over that fucker. Maybe he’d call Cara, give her a heads up, tell her that Willow was on her way home and was upset.
A few moments passed before he realized she hadn’t pulled away. She’d stayed in his arms, pressed against him on the desk for a long moment.
Finally, she loosened her hands as if she was going to pull away, and his heart began aching again.
It was torture.
He didn’t want her to leave his arms.
She leaned her head back slightly and looked up at him with her beautiful eyes. She was so close. And he wanted her so bad.
“Max?”
“Yeah.”
He was just about to admit defeat, loosen his hold of her, when her eyes dropped to his lips, and she swayed slightly in his arms, moving incrementally closer to him. He did the same, matching her movement.
His brain was telling him to stop, but his hand moved on its own, up to her cheek where some strands of hair had fallen near her eye. He gently brushed them away and tucked them behind her ear so he could get a better look at her beautiful face .
With her eyes fixed on his mouth, she slowly closed the remaining distance between them, then gently pressed her lips against his.
A jolt shot through him as if he’d shoved a knife in an electrical socket. All he could think was, Fucking finally!
He put his hands in her hair, then grabbed her gently and tilted her head to the side so he could deepen the kiss. She melted into him, using her hips to wedge herself closer, settling between his legs. Pleasure flooded his body.
He had an overwhelming desire to rip off their clothes so they could be even closer, but his brain wouldn’t allow it. He liked her way too much to just go for it without a second thought and have it blow up in his face, so he forced himself to grasp for some kind of order.
Why were they doing this now, right after she’d been dumped? Was he the world’s fastest rebound, or had this been as inevitable for her as it was for him?
Most of all, how would he feel if she got back together with that fucker? She’d done it before.
The nagging voice in the back of his mind screamed, You’d be crushed! But he could shut that voice up if he needed to, as long as he went into this knowing what to expect .
He brought his hands to her cheeks, broke the kiss, then immediately regretted it when he saw her swollen lips and heavily lidded gaze. She was staring at his mouth, lustful, desperate.
He wanted more. But he needed some self-preservation first.
“Are you using me?”
As if being snapped out of a dream, she blinked hard twice, then looked down. “Uh,” she said, looking everywhere but at him before dropping her eyes and squeezing them shut. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . .”
She straightened abruptly, shaking her head, about to push away from him, but he put his hands on her hips to stop her.
“It’s not a deal breaker for me, Willow,” he said. “I just need to know what’s happening here.”
He trailed his hands up her back, through her hair, exploring her as she tipped her head back and exposed her beautiful neck. He never wanted to stop touching her.
She let out a dreamy sigh, and her mouth relaxed into a little smirk. “You need order for your hookups?”
“Evidently,” he said, shaking off the annoyance he immediately felt at the word hookup . “Is that what this is for you? Just a one-time thing? ”
She gazed into his eyes for a long moment before her brow furrowed. “I really don’t know, Max. I just don’t want to think about everything that just happened.”
Max schooled his features, refusing to let his face show the disappointment. He’d already known logically that he was a rebound. Having sex with someone minutes after getting broken up with wasn’t normal. But holding her against his lap, her soft breath on his chest, felt way too good. Not to mention it had been way too fucking long since he’d last had sex, and he’d been way too fucking stressed over the last few weeks.
Maybe a hookup wasn’t the worst idea ever.
He’d wanted nothing more than to bend her over their desk and fuck all the tension from both of them. So why shouldn’t he? She wanted it; he wanted it. As long as he kept it all ordered in his mind, it would be fine.
“Okay,” he said, doing the millionth cleanup of his emotions that day. This time, he put a lock on his mental Willow box and threw a blanket over it.
She searched his eyes back and forth. “You really want to?”
Was that a serious question? He was certain she could feel how badly he wanted to. The evidence was currently straining in his pants, pressing against her stomach.
He smirked. “Yeah, obviously,” he said with a pointed look down.
She unleashed a smile and huffed out a pretty laugh and moved even closer to him, and his ridiculous fucking heart seized again.
Ugh.
He ignored it, grabbed the backs of her thighs, pulled her up until she wrapped her legs around his waist, then he sat down on the top of their desk, settling her onto his lap.
She rocked against him, her dress up around her hips, her hands on his shoulders. He kissed her as she reached for the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up, pulling it off his head and tossing it on his chair. She then placed her palms against his heart pounding in his chest.
He closed his eyes against the shivers that racked his body from her touch, then leaned forward, kissed her throat, down her chest, along her cleavage, all while reaching for the zipper on her back. He grew harder and harder as the zipper descended. Once it was low enough, he grabbed the bottom of the skirt and pulled it up and off, dropping it behind her on top of his shirt. Then he kissed her collarbone as he unclasped her black lacy bra and slid it down her arms.
Her body shuddered once she was exposed, and he gently ran his hands up the sides of her body, caressing her breasts with his palms.
“So soft,” he said, more to himself than to her. He’d dreamed about what she’d feel like in his hands. Reality was better.
She sighed and rolled her hips against his lap, as if searching for some relief.
“Max,” she said, her hands gliding up his bare back, up his neck until her fingertips raked through his hair.
A deep grunt escaped. He’d wanted to take it slow, take his time. He’d been dreaming about this for a while now. But she started rolling her hips against his erection in a slow, calculated rhythm, and he thought he might die if he didn’t get his jeans off.
He stood, picking her up with him, then turned around and sat her on the desk where he’d just been. She reached for the button on his jeans and undid them, then quickly slid down the zipper and tugged them down his hips.
“Good,” he said with a smile as he watched her eagerly tugging at his pants.
His jeans dropped. Then she watched, wide eyed, as he slid his boxers down and let them drop at his ankles with his jeans. He didn’t even bother stepping out of them. His mind was on one thing and one thing only: getting her little black panties off.
He hooked his fingers around the waistband, and when she lifted her hips off the desk, he slid them off her soft, pale legs.
He wanted desperately to drop to his knees and taste her, but before he could, she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to her.
“Now, Max,” she said, bringing her mouth to his ear and sucking.
God. Why did he love it so much when she ordered him around?
His gaze dropped back down to her, and he huffed out a breath. He wanted to give her what she needed, but fuck, he was dying to take it slow, too.
“We’re doing this again,” he said, his voice harsh, “at my pace.”
Her mouth dropped open as her eyes widened, then she nodded. “Yes,” she said.
“Good.”
He bent down and grabbed his wallet from his jeans pocket and pulled out a condom, then ripped it open and slid it down his length. As she watched, her pretty little mouth formed a surprised o .
Yeah, they would definitely take this slower next time.
He took hold of himself and slowly slid into her, and she let out a soft moan that made his whole body shudder with relief.
He put his hand on her back and guided her down, bending with her until they were both laid back on the desk. She brought her legs around his waist, squeezing as he slid in and out of her, falling further and further into the pleasure.
She urged him on by tugging his hips with her legs, but he resisted, forcing her to go at his pace. He wanted more from her. Had to feel every part of her.
He leaned forward, pressed his lips against her breasts, kissing and gently sucking. She writhed under him, her breath becoming erratic. He reached between them and made soft, slow circles with his thumb until her whole body went still and she came calling out his name.
When her orgasm waned, she pulled him close to her into a hug, and he buried himself deeper, grabbing the edge of the desk with one hand and her neck with the other.
He slid into her once, twice before pleasure spread through his whole body and he emptied himself deep inside her. He collapsed against her chest, letting out a whole-body shiver as she brought her hands up and dragged her nails against his back .
They held each other close for what seemed like an eternity. But before he could stop them, all the feelings he’d been burying came flooding in.
You like her. Too much. You want to keep her. Forever.
He threw up a mental wall, blocking the intrusive thoughts and forcing them back down. This was just a hookup to her, and so it was just a hookup for him, too. Nothing more.
“Max?”
He lifted himself just enough to see her eyes, but not enough to lose the feeling of her warm skin against his. “Yeah?”
“Do you want to come sleep over at my place?” she asked, an irresistible smile playing at her lips. “Maybe we can do it again?”
He put up a second wall, just to be safe, then pulled back from her body and took her in, glistening and spread out in front of him on their desk.
“Absolutely.”