33. Chapter 33
thirty-three
A fter two long flights and a train ride, Willow finally arrived back in Churchill the day before Nikki’s wedding. She walked from the train station to Shane’s house and absolutely could not contain her excitement at finally seeing Barley again.
She unlocked the door and fell to the ground, tears in her eyes as Barley jumped into her lap.
“Good boy, Barley, good boy,” she said, getting way too choked up.
He looked up at her, then licked her face.
“I’m never leaving you again,” she said. “Never.”
Just then, a text notification came through her phone. She shifted Barley to one side and checked it. It was from Max, and he was as cold and emotionless over a text as he was in real life.
Pushing back the opening one more week .
She stared at the letters, unable to believe it. Why had he made such a big fucking deal about it before if he was just going to move it back, anyway? She rolled her eyes, shoved the phone in her bag where she couldn’t see it, and latched onto Barley.
Max had taken his sweet-ass time replying to her, so she’d do the same.
“You’d hate Max,” she said to Barley, and he melted into her lap and stared up at her eyes. “He’s mean.”
She stayed on the floor for a while longer and held Barley until she finally wondered whether she was holding him or he was holding her. Could he sense how emotionally distressed she was? Probably. Or maybe she was almost always in distress around him, so he’d just got used to it.
Finally, she stood and looked around. She knew she didn’t want to stay in Shane’s house, so she went to the bedroom and opened her closet door.
Should she pack everything or only what she wanted? It seemed rude to leave behind a bunch of stuff, so she took it all and figured she’d decide what to do with it later.
She was about halfway through the task when the front door creaked open. Barley lifted his head slightly at the sound, then lay back down on her pile of sweaters.
At least he wouldn’t miss Shane .
A few moments later, Shane walked into the bedroom, then stopped in his tracks.
“Willow?”
She turned to face him. “Hi.”
He closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. She let him, but didn’t hug back, and couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all wrong. Maybe she’d got too used to Max’s enormous arms around her that made her feel so good.
Shane was shorter and bonier, and she felt uncomfortable, as if she were teetering on the edge of a cliff.
She broke off the hug and stepped away, returning to her task.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m packing my stuff,” she said.
Shane’s shoulders slumped. “Willow, I made a mistake. Don’t go.”
She stopped and turned to him. “We both made mistakes. I think it’s time to call it quits.”
He shook his head, took her by the shoulders. “I don’t want to stop you from opening your brewery,” he said, staring into her eyes. “You can run it from here, like you said, and we can still be together.”
She broke eye contact and looked away. He was finally saying all the right things, and she felt nauseous .
“I got you something,” he said.
He turned and walked across the bedroom to his tall wood dresser and pulled open the top drawer. A moment later, he returned holding a ring box. How was it even possible that this nightmare was getting worse?
“Willow,” he said, taking her hand. “You mean so much to me. I can’t live without you. I want to marry you, for real this time.”
“For real this time?” she asked, her chest tightening. “So you didn’t really mean it last time?”
He looked down at the ring, then back up. “I mean, this time I’m ready.”
She couldn’t even hide how annoyed she was anymore. They’d been engaged for over six months. Six! And he’d never wanted to talk about a wedding, had never given her a ring. Was he pushing this now because she’d finally had enough or because he actually wanted to marry her?
“Would you have been ready now if we hadn’t broken up?” she asked.
He immediately nodded. “I just needed some time. Just please wear it for now,” he said, pulling the ring from the box and shoving it onto her finger.
Her eyes widened at the sight of a ring finally on her finger. He started talking again, telling her how much he loved her, how perfect they were for each other, bringing up the good times they’d spent together, but his words weren’t making an impact.
In fact, she could barely hear him. All she could feel was the ring around her finger, almost painfully, as if it were made of splinters that faced inward, digging under her skin.
She yanked the ring off, silencing his reminiscing, and held it out to him like some cursed talisman.
“I can’t take this. I don’t want to marry you.”
An immense burden lifted from her shoulders, and she felt her forehead relax. Why had she ever thought marrying him would be a good idea?
He stared in shock, then finally took the ring and searched her eyes. “Why?”
“We’re a disaster together. And we want very different things.”
“What do you want?” he asked.
She blew out a breath, still uncertain. “I don’t really know. I think it’s much easier for me to know what I don’t want. And I know I don’t want to marry you. I’m sorry.”
She turned and began folding the clothes twice as fast as she had been. She needed to get out of there.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet,” she said without looking at him. “Maybe Nikki’s or the motel. ”
Shane huffed out a breath. “Just stay here,” he said. “I’ll sleep in the other room.”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to be in there a minute longer.
“Nikki and Kyle want the place to themselves after the wedding, and the motel is full of guests,” he said.
She stopped, looked over her shoulder. She really didn’t want to stay, but it seemed there wasn’t really a choice.
“Okay, but just for the weekend. And I’ll sleep in the other room.”
Shane ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Fine.”