Chapter 22
Chapter 22
September 19, 1953
Dear Ruth,
If you could only know how eager I’ve been to sit down and write to you. I wish I could deliver this news in person because it might remove some of the sting from that horrible day when Logan was arrested at your house. I was quite downtrodden then, and you were so worried about my emotional wellbeing. But I survived, didn’t I? (Now I wonder if it was all some sort of test to teach me about patience. All good things come to those who wait. Isn’t that what they say? It certainly applies to me today!)
But that’s enough philosophizing. I won’t keep you in suspense. Do you remember Captain Oliver Harris and all the times I poured out my broken heart to you about him? (I can’t thank you enough for all your letters of advice, sympathy, and encouragement over the years.)
I’m not even sure where to begin, except to tell you that the captain paid us a visit this week. (!) At first, I wasn’t happy to see him because, as you know, I grew to resent him after he left in such a cruel way. And rightly or wrongly, I’ve always blamed him for my weakness with Logan. So, when he showed up at our door this week, I was guarded, maybe even a bit rude (I’m not sure). But as always, we got to talking, and I couldn’t help but fall back into those old feelings of love, which weren’t gone, just dormant.
He stayed an extra day to help with some repairs at East Light, and when it came time for him to leave, he proposed to me and promised to return with a ring at Christmas.
I wish I could see your face as you’re reading this! I hope you haven’t fallen out of your chair. I’m still pinching myself, and though I’m happy, I’m also terrified that for some reason he won’t come back. I’ve been disappointed before, so it’s hard to trust that everything will work out. Obviously, I’m jaded. That’s no secret. So, the next few months will be a challenge while I wait. I’m not even sure if I should tell Matthew in case something goes wrong. What do you suggest about that?
Also, if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask your advice about something else. Should I come to Halifax now and start divorce proceedings? That’s what Oliver plans to do when he goes back to England. Or maybe I should wait until I’m more certain about the future?
That’s all for now. I will send this letter on the next boat in a few days. Papa says hello.
Much love,
Emma
P.S. I forgot to mention that Oliver had no idea that Logan was in prison and that we were no longer together. Papa wrote to him many times but never mentioned it, so that’s why Oliver stayed away.
As you can imagine, Papa had a lot to answer for and we had a heated discussion about it. His excuse was that he had no idea that Oliver had feelings for me, and if he’d known, he would have encouraged a visit. He said he was just trying to protect me from further heartbreak.
In all honesty, I’m not entirely sure I believe him. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s arranged things to keep me at his side. (But not the seal attack. I’m 100% confident that he didn’t arrange for that to happen!) At any rate, he said he was sorry, and he was quite remorseful.
Hugs and kisses,
Emma
September 26, 1953
Dear Emma,
I almost did fall out of my chair when I read your letter!
I’m so happy for you! It was always crystal clear to me that you loved Captain Harris deeply, and it wasn’t just a schoolgirl crush, as you often suggested. There was something special between you. And I also suspected that he said what he did on that last day to allow you to move on and go to university as you’d planned. He didn’t want to hold you back.
I’d very much like to meet him. Based on your descriptions, I’m sure he’s an impressive man. He must be intelligent, too, if he recognized how special you are. But I’m sorry you’ve both had to wait so long. So many lost years ...
I crossed that out because nothing good can come from regretting the past or wallowing in what can’t be changed. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. Nothing can be done about what happened, so go forward with gusto and dive headfirst into the future.
I’d like to imagine that you’re smiling right now. I hope you’re happier than ever.
To answer your questions about telling Matthew or starting divorce proceedings, my only advice is to follow your heart and do what you feel is right. Perhaps you’ll prefer to wait until you have a ring on your finger before you divorce Matthew’s father. (But that sounds like advice, doesn’t it? I apologize. You’re a grown woman and I have faith in your good judgement. It’s just food for thought, tossed into the air. And maybe I’m a little jaded, too. Or maybe “careful” is a better word.)
Say hello to your father for me, and please forgive him for his missteps. He’s a good man and he loves you dearly and only wants to protect you. Maybe you can relate to that better now that you’re a mother. It’s so difficult to let our children go into the big, bad, dangerous world. Worrying about them is unavoidable. It comes with the territory.
Much love,
Ruth