All Our Next Times (Fallen Brook #1)

Prologue

HAILEY

Present Day

Y ou. Such a simple word. An everyday word. A word that sounds like a letter but isn’t. A letter that begins words like unloved, useless, ugly, unwanted. That is what I hear every day. In my head. In my heart. You are unloved. You are useless. You are ugly. You are unwanted.

The fifteen-minute warning bell sounds, blaring obtrusively through the school halls, alerting everyone that it’s time to get to their next class. Lockers bang shut, voices get louder, footsteps become hurried. I scurry and scamper around people, my head lowered, my eyes averted to the scuffed beige linoleum floor. I want to be invisible. I want to be unseen. Please don’t notice me. Please leave me alone.

I know what will happen if I look up. I know what I will see, what I will hear, what I will feel. Ugly. Unwanted. Useless. Unloved.

Unfolding the crumpled piece of lined notebook paper, I read over the poem I wrote to my sister, Elizabeth.

Broken Butterfly

She wanted to fly but her wings were broken.

She dreamed big dreams, but they weren’t allowed to be spoken.

Her feelings pushed down her throat left her choking.

He beat her down, but she was still hoping.

Body, soul, spirit, all burned,

Wishing that her family would see and be concerned.

Fighting him isn’t a battle, it’s a war,

Every breath is now a chore.

She can’t get air, can’t fly, can’t soar,

Can’t leave this dark room, Can’t even find the door.

Loneliness consumes her,

She sees all the darkness, never the light.

She doesn’t see a tunnel with an end in sight.

She sees the pitch black that the world is at night.

No one is there to tell her everything will be alright.

She’s dead inside but no one knows.

How the blood boils, how the heart slows,

Because this was not the life she chose.

When she sleeps, she dreams, she can still hear her screams.

Her sister replaced her.

The pain he inflicted chased her.

His love is like a disease.

No one hears her cries, no one hears her pleas.

In her dark world, fallen on her knees,

Thinking death is better than life,

Help me please!

One final blow is all she can take,

Before she dies for good with a final shake.

Now all those people who called her a mistake,

Can finally rest at ease when they go to her wake.

I wipe away the lone tear that streaks down my cheek.

I’m sorry. I love you. Forgive me.

Neatly folding the paper into fourths, I slip it inside my sister’s locker.

“Hailey!”

Elizabeth’s voice rings loudly from across the hallway.

My steps quicken. One look at my face and she’ll sense something is wrong. She’ll stop me. She’ll want to know. I can’t tell her. I don’t know what to do. I’m broken, and nothing can fix me.

I ignore my sister and keep walking. I pass the cafeteria doors, walk past the gymnasium, push open the back doors, and once outside, sprint across the baseball field. The smell of fresh-cut grass stings my nose. The bright sunlight causes my eyes to water. A movement to my right catches my eye.

I stumble to a standstill when I see him.

How did he know I was planning to ditch school? How did he know I would come out this way?

Parked in the senior lot next to the baseball field, he leans against his car door, hands tucked casually in the side pockets of his frayed blue jeans. But there is nothing casual about him.

His cold eyes follow me. Watch me. Taunt me. Smile at me.

Fear sends my heart thrashing inside my chest like a trapped bird. My legs won’t move, even though my mind screams run, run, run .

The corner of his mouth tips up, and he crooks his finger for me to come to him.

I have no choice. My body reacts to his simple command as if I was one of Pavlov’s dogs. My legs involuntarily move toward him, even though my mind warns me to stop. To run away. I can’t.

When I get close enough, he says, “Good girl.”

I used to love his voice. Now that voice is one from my nightmares. A voice that is soft and deep but full of darkness and cruelty.

He opens the car door, and I get inside. I know what’s coming. I know what to expect. And I know the words he’ll use when he brings the pain. You are ugly. You are useless. You are unwanted. You are unloved.