Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
ELIZABETH
T he mattress bounces, waking me from the dream I was having. A dream of me, Jayson, Ryder, and Julien when we were younger. We’d been playing in our forest fort after coming back from the creek. I remembered Jayson had found this rose-colored quartz rock in the shape of a heart that he gave to me to add to my jar collection. He placed it in my palm and wrapped my fingers tightly around it. I could feel its smoothness and its warmth. When I opened my hand, the heart-shaped rock was broken, split and cracked down the middle. I looked up to ask Jayson what happened to it, but it was not Jayson in front of me. It was Ryder.
“So, which one was it?” a voice asks from beside me, pulling me fully from my dream.
I stretch my arms up and roll over. Images from last night instantly flood my brain, and I lift my fingers to my still tingling lips.
“Which one was what?” I ask, not fully awake yet.
I sleepily swat her offending finger away when she pokes me in the ribs.
“Which one was it? Jayson or Ryder? Or was it Julien?”
I crack one eye open.
“You know I can hear everything in my room even with the bathroom doors closed.”
That instantly wakes me right the hell up. “What exactly do you think you heard?”
Her grin is more mischievous than the Cheshire Cat’s. “Okay, well not everything, but I did distinctly hear the sound of a boy’s voice and…” She puckers her lips and makes kissing noises.
Oh, dear god. I cover my mortified face with a pillow that immediately gets ripped away.
“Spill it, sister. Which one was it?”
I don’t know if I’m ready to have this conversation yet. I haven’t had a chance to wrap my head around everything that happened last night, the words that were spoken.
I love you, Liz.
I love you, too .
My fingers press against my lips again, and Hailey’s eyes grow big, her mouth forming an O .
“I knew it!” she shrieks, bouncing up and down on my bed. “If you don’t tell me right now what happened last night, I will never speak to you again, Elizabeth Penelope!”
“Yeah, right,” I scoff, not believing that for one second.
“ Lizzie ,” she whines.
What do I tell her? How much should I share? Once I say the words, once I acknowledge what happened, there’s no going back. Am I ready for that? Am I ready for what’s to come?
“He kissed me.”
Hailey nods her head, waiting for me to continue. But that’s all I get out. My brain simply shuts down for a second and focuses on that one thing: Jayson kissed me . The feel of his mouth on mine. The heady sensation that followed when my body fired to life, both hot and cold consuming me at the same time. I relive it all in that one second.
Hailey jumps on top of me. “You are such a bitch.” She laughs. “That’s all you’re going to say?”
“It was Jayson,” I whisper.
Using me as her own personal jumping pillow, she bounces in excitement. “And?”
I push her off.
“And I don’t know what to feel. I wish I had your way with words. To be able to articulate everything the way you do in your poems. That’s what it feels like. A poem filled with romance, beauty, angst, life, and heartbreak.”
She lies down beside me and tucks my hair behind an ear. “You and your big, fancy words.”
“Huh?”
“ Articulate . You always talk like a grown-up. Sometimes I forget that we’re only a year apart. And why would kissing Jayson be heartbreaking?”
“Because our kiss changes everything.” And it will. One kiss will change four friendships forever. “Jayson said he loves me. He said he’s loved me forever.”
“Do you love him back?”
“Yeah, I do. You know that. I’m ecstatic. Over the moon. But then I picture Ryder and feel like shit.”
Her eyes glisten with understanding. “Because you love him, too.”
I nod, a single tear sliding down my cheek.
“But that’s what you said you wanted, Lizzie. You said you wanted them to choose for you. It sounds like Jayson chose. He chose you. The next step is to talk to Ryder. Talk to Julien. Clear things up before next week because your teenage drama is not going to ruin our beach vacation.”
“Ryder said he’s coming over at one to talk to me.”
“About what?”
I shrug a shoulder. “I have no clue.”
“Well, then, there’s your chance.” She hops off my bed and smacks my thigh. “Breakfast is ready. Mom made pancakes.”
“Hey, Hales?”
She stops in the doorway. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
A warm breeze floats through my open window, fluttering the curtains. I get out of bed, and my heart thumps wildly as I approach the window. I peek over and notice that, for the first time in nine years, their window is closed and the curtains drawn. Does that mean something? Is Jayson regretting what happened last night? Uncertainty settles over me, but I can’t keep standing there worrying. After a quick shower, I head downstairs for breakfast.
“Morning, sweet pea.”
“Morning.”
I give Mom a hug and a kiss before taking the barstool next to Hailey.
“I’m going to the store to pick up the stuff we need to take with us next week. I figure we can wait to do the grocery shopping once we get to the beach house. Did you want me to grab any snacks to take with us in the minivan?”
She hands me my plate, and I grab the bottle of syrup, pouring a generous amount over my pancakes. Dipping a piece of bacon into the sweet gooey goodness, I bite into it.
“My usual.”
“Candy and diet soda. Got it.”
“I’ll come with you,” Hailey says, getting up from her seat. “The charger for my phone broke, and I need a new one.”
“Do you want to come too, Lizzie-bear?”
“No, thanks.” I lick syrup off the side of my thumb. “I’m supposed to meet up with Ryder later.”
Hailey gives me a knowing look, but Mom is thankfully oblivious. I finish with the bacon and dive into my pancakes.
“I’ll clean up. You guys can head on out. When is Daddy coming home?”
He’s on the final leg of a four-month tour.
“Day after tomorrow. Their last show is in Austin.”
Mom and Hailey gather the things they need to take with them, and I decide to head to the music room before I clean up the kitchen and put away the dishes. There’s a piano piece I’ve been working on that I want to finish before Dad comes home.
Dad converted one of the back rooms into a music room. It’s where he keeps his instruments and gives me lessons. I walk over to the piano—an old upright that belonged to my grandmother that my dad refuses to get rid of—and pull the bench seat out. Getting comfortable, I hover my feet over the piano pedals. Dad bought me a laptop and installed some music software on it. I use it to compose my musical pieces. Placing the laptop on top of the piano, I open the file that contains my latest composition.
I don’t know how long I sit in front of the piano, composing, changing notes, playing, adding parts. Once I’m happy that the piece is finished, I play it from the beginning to hear it in its entirety.
Flexing and wiggling my fingers over the keys, I begin. Instantly, I’m lost to the melody, being pulled into the music. The pattern and flow of the notes, the way my hands float over the white keys, combine together to create something magical. As the song finishes and my fingers still, I shut my eyes to exist in the brief moment of silence that follows.
A noise behind me draws me out of the music. Jayson leans a shoulder on the doorjamb, hands in his pockets, ankles crossed, looking as handsome as ever.
“That was beautiful, Liz.”
He’s wearing a Carolina University T-shirt over dark shorts, his hair damp and swept back off his forehead. We have an open-door policy, and the boys know they are welcome to come into the house anytime they want, using the key Mom gave Freda.
My heart soars as my eyes take Jayson in from top to bottom. That lean, muscled body was pressed against me last night. A blush spreads across my chest and up my neck before uncertainty weighs me down.
Jayson must feel my apprehension. He kneels in front of me and takes my hand, kissing each finger.
“Hi.”
“Hi back.”
Hands grab my hips and coax me off the piano bench. Once I’m straddling him on the floor, he tugs me forward until I’m pressed intimately against him, and a million goose bumps explode like confetti.
“I thought last night was a dream.”
“No dream.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I talked to Julien last night.”
He watches to see my reaction.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. We stayed up all night talking.”
“And?”
“He’s good with us being together. Everything’s okay, just like I promised.”
“What about Ryder?”
Jayson doesn’t answer and brings my lips to his. It’s a claiming. He’s making sure I know that I am his, and he is mine.
The kiss starts simple, sweet, but turns into more as we lose ourselves in each other. I thought my first kiss with Jayson last night was the kiss to end all kisses. I was wrong.
Jayson pulls me in for a hug and softly nuzzles my cheek. Minute prickles of warmth scatter across my skin at the contact.
“I’ve been dying to kiss you again, but that’s not why I came over. I know you said Ry was dropping by at one to talk to you. I wanted to see you first.”
“Do you know what that’s all about? Did he say anything to you last night?”
Again, he avoids my questions. Instead, Jayson takes my face between his hands.
“Last night, I promised you that I would make everything right. You will not lose any of us. I swear it. I’m going to head over to his house right now and talk to him.”
Something is off. I can feel it.
He lifts me off him and helps me to my feet. After checking his watch, he twines our fingers together and leads me out of the room.
We walk to the front door, hand in hand, and down the steps to the front walkway.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he reassures me once again.
It has to be. I can’t lose Ryder.
Jayson bends down and kisses me.
“I promise,” he says.
I take a deep, cleansing breath, one filled with hope.
But that hope shatters when I hear a deep voice shout, “You piece of shit!”
Before I can register what’s happening, I watch in horror as Ryder tackles Jayson to the ground. They roll over in the grass a few times before Ryder gains the upper hand and pins Jayson down, his right fist smashing into Jayson’s face.
“You son of a bitch! You knew! You fucking knew, and you stabbed me in the back!”
Another punch.
Why isn’t Jayson fighting back? What the hell is going on? After standing like a statue, completely frozen, not knowing what to do, I finally find my voice.
“Ryder, stop! You’re hurting him!”
I try to pull him off Jayson, but it’s no use. He either isn’t hearing me, or if he is, he doesn’t care.
A car pulls up the driveway, but I don’t look to see who it is.
Jayson’s cheek is already swollen, and his mouth is bleeding. If I don’t do something, I honestly think that Ryder might put him in the hospital.
Not knowing what else to do, I hug him from behind and hold tight. My instincts tell me that even in his uncontrollable rage, he would never hurt me.
“Please, Ryder. Stop.”
Like a switch being flicked, his fists still and he stiffens.
Mom hurries up the walkway, a look of utter shock on her face.
“Ryder! Jayson! Elizabeth! What the hell is going on here?”
Freda runs over from their house next door. “Jayson?” she gasps.
Her son is on the ground, blood on his face, bruises starting to appear. Ryder stands over him, me clinging to his back. If this wasn’t the worst moment of my life, it would look a bit funny.
“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I’m so goddamn sorry,” Ryder chokes out.
He gently removes my grip, looks around in a daze, and then takes off.
“Ryder!” I yell after him, but he’s already gone.