Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
RYDER
I ’ve been keeping to myself the past few days, mulling over Julien’s words, still angry at Jayson, missing Elizabeth like crazy. It breaks my heart when I see her name light up my phone before I hit decline. She’s been calling and texting constantly, begging me to talk to her. I’m hurting her with my silence, but I’m not ready to face her yet. Because I know I will have to face him as well.
Dad and I have been talking a lot while I hang with him at the garage. He’s an old romantic at heart. Told me that if Elizabeth was the one , then I should be patient and give her time to explore her feelings, that we were young and things would change as we grew older.
I know he had good intentions but fuck that. I’d been waiting for seven goddamn years already. We’ll be leaving for the beach in a few days, and I’m going to be forced to wear a false happy face while I watch Elizabeth and Jayson together. It’s going to be utter hell.
I run my hand along the side of my new Hellcat. Dad surprised me with it yesterday. Just drove it into the bay and tossed me the keys.
It’s a gorgeous car, and I am itching to begin working on it. I know exactly what I want to do, down to the paint color and interior. I plan to take this bad boy out to the Fields as soon as I’m done. After days of feeling like shit, it’s nice to have something to work toward to pass the time.
I’m looking over the car, clipboard in hand, making notes of the things I want to change, replace, or modify. I don’t know how long he’s been standing there, hands pushed deep in his back pockets, shoulders hunched, when I notice him.
“What the fuck do you want?”
Jayson flinches at my asperity. “Liz has been trying to get in touch with you. She’s worried. She doesn’t know I’m here.”
“She’s not my problem anymore.”
I don’t mean it and hate that I said it.
“That’s a fucking stupid thing to say. Her heart is breaking because she misses her best friend, and I promised her that I would fix it.”
“Get out of here, Jay. I’ve had enough of your bullshit.”
I give my back to him and ignore his stupid ass.
Running around me, he plants himself in my way. “I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
Flinging my clipboard down, I throw my arms up in exasperation.
“What more do you want from me? I came to you and Julien. I looked you dead in the eye and told you how I felt about her and what I was going to do about it. And you ran as fast as you could over to her house and laid claim. You didn’t care about how I would feel. You didn’t care how much that would hurt me. You took our friendship and stomped all over it.”
Fed up with him, I storm off, not wanting to hear anything else that comes out of his mouth.
“She loves you.”
I stop in my tracks.
Exhale.
Dammit.
I turn around.
Jayson pulls out a metal stool and sits down on it like he has no more energy to stand, the heaviness of our situation taking its toll on him. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, the pose of a humbled man.
“She loves you, and it kills me knowing that. Liz has been my universe since the day I gazed into her gorgeous green eyes. God, I remember that day like it was yesterday.” He looks over at me. “I know she loves me, too, but I’m terrified that maybe, just maybe, she loves you a little bit more.”
Hearing it doesn’t lessen the hurt, but I understand.
“You should have told me that instead of bolting.”
“I panicked, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of it. I wish I could go back and do things differently.”
Not believing that for a second, I snap, “Do you?”
Of course, he doesn’t answer because he knows it’s a lie.
Rising to his feet, he swipes a hand through his hair. “Liz needs you in her life. I need you in my life. You’re my best friend. Is there any way you can forgive me? I will do anything to make this right.”
I want to shout, “Then give her up! ” but I keep quiet and think about what Julien asked me. Do I love her enough to let her go and find happiness, even if it’s not with me?
“I’m not saying that I forgive you. It’s going to take time for me to even want to be in the same room as you. You broke that trust. You’re going to have to earn it back. But this is not Elizabeth’s fault. She shouldn’t have to suffer because of us.”
I offer him my hand. No fist bump. This time we shake hands like men.