Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
RYDER
I should have known Maria would lash out at Elizabeth. Asking her out was a stupid mistake. I thought she was funny. She made me laugh, provided me short reprieves from my thoughts of Elizabeth.
I knew Maria wanted more, but I figured, what the hell, so I asked her out. Almost immediately after our first date, Maria started dropping subtle, snide comments about Elizabeth. I never said anything about it, not even to Julien. Maria kept pushing me for sex, and after the Jacinda incident at the bonfire party, I was not going down that road again. Was I tempted? Yeah. Did I love Maria? No. And I made a promise to myself after Elizabeth saw me with Jacinda that I would never be that guy again, the one who uses a girl just for sex.
So, I kept my hands to myself, which only made things worse. I’m an idiot for not ending our relationship sooner. Julien was right. I should have broken up with her months ago. Now, I have to fix the mess I created. To say that I’m pissed at Maria after watching the video is an understatement.
I know exactly where she is when I get to school, but we’re not having an audience for what I need to say to her.
I gesture for her to come out when she sees me outside the front office window.
She throws up her hands and mouths, What?
Come here , I mouth back.
She shakes her head no.
Come. Here.
Her eyes roll, but she’s walking toward the door. As soon as she steps outside the office, I grip her elbow and lead her down the hallway to the A/V storage room. Once inside, she jerks out from my grasp.
“What do you want, Ryder?”
I flick on the overhead light. It casts an eerie glow in the enclosed space. Carts filled with equipment line the wall, and bundled cables lie on the floor.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Did Lizzie come running to you, wanting a shoulder to cry on? Figures.”
“No. Your little tirade was posted online.”
She has the audacity to smile.
“Good.”
I gape at her with incredulity. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
Maria stares at me, unblinking. No remorse. No apology.
“That was a shitty thing to do to your best friend.”
Her chin dips, her eyes hard. “She is not my best friend.”
“Yes, she is. She’s been your friend since the third grade.”
“I hate her.”
My head recoils like she just slapped me. “How can you say you hate her? You two have been best friends for years.”
“You are so fucking dumb. You know nothing.”
“Explain it to me.”
She’s starting to really piss me off, and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep my temper in check.
“We might have known each other since the third grade, but I only started hanging out with her in junior high to get close to you.”
She must see the confused look on my face.
“Lizzie had the monopoly on what I wanted, so I used her as my in with you.” She kicks a mop bucket and sends it crashing against the metal shelving. “All the good it did me.”
“That’s the biggest pile of shit you have said to me. You’re going to stand there and tell me that all the years you and Elizabeth were friends, it was because you wanted me to—what? Notice you?”
Maria comes closer, invading my space. “I want you, Ryder. I’ve wanted you for a long time. You want me, too. I know you do. You wouldn’t have asked me out if you didn’t feel something for me. For me , not her. Don’t throw away what we have over that bitch.” She slides her hands up my chest, and I’m too dumbstruck to stop her. “I’m better than she is. I can make you feel so good if you’ll let me. Please let me.”
With my mind whirring, Maria slips her hands to my belt buckle. Clarity returns, and I snatch her wrists.
“Stop.”
“No.”
She falls to her knees in front of me and tries to wrench her hands out of my grasp to unbuckle my pants.
For fuck’s sake, not this again. I look down at her and see images of Jacinda doing the exact same thing. Appalled with what she’s trying to do, I let go of her wrists and back out of her reach. My shoulder knocks into a shelf, and the resulting crash of metal hitting the floor shrills its echo between the walls.
She hobbles closer and goes for my zipper.
“I said stop .”
On her knees, she gazes imploringly at me, but all I see is duplicity and hate. I really was an absolute idiot to fall for her lies.
“Why can’t you love me like I love you? It’s all her fault! She doesn’t give a damn about you! She takes and takes and takes. She has Jayson. It’s not fair! She shouldn’t get you, too.”
How could I not have seen this about her? How could I not see her hatred for Elizabeth?
“You know what? I’m fucking done. We’re done. Over. No longer together. I’m not your boyfriend anymore. And you’re right. I don’t love you. I never did love you. I’m sorry if asking you out led you to think I wanted more. That’s on me, and I apologize. But what you did to Elizabeth, what you just said to me now, that’s all sorts of fucked up.”
Maria rises from the floor, anger making her tremble with pent-up fury. “Fuck you, Ryder. And fuck Elizabeth.”
“Stay away from Elizabeth. I’m warning you.”
“Like you said. We’re no longer together. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
With that, she flings open the door, and storms out.
I rub a hand over the back of my neck, but it does nothing to ease the tension. If what Maria said is true—that this entire time she just used Elizabeth to get to me—Elizabeth isn’t going to understand. It’s going to devastate her.