Chapter 16
Drew
Love had once scared Drew. He had not thought he would ever find it, or that he would be allowed to pursue it.
He had been satisfied with the idea that he would spend the rest of his professional life in the closet.
Then, maybe when he retired, he could let himself live as his authentic self.
He never thought that he would find love that would allow him to be truthful before that.
Then there was Quentin, and Drew had been ready for it, or at least he thought he was.
He had been willing to do it for Quentin, if Quentin had wanted to.
But he had misread the situation, or if he had read it correctly, Quentin hadn’t been willing to take that step. He was younger, and maybe more afraid.
Drew hadn’t thought he would find a love so soon that would make him ache.
When he had met Gabriel, he had thought Gabriel was attractive and interesting.
He had not expected to fall in love with him, but now he was.
Falling in love had scared him before. It had meant facing a truth he didn’t want to face.
Now, he would face that truth if he had the option.
If Drew believed in Gabriel’s philosophy of the universe, then he believed that fate or something similar had brought them together.
It hadn’t been chance, and Gabriel didn’t believe in chance.
Fate had brought them together, but it would also keep them apart, because they were on different paths.
Their paths had intersected for a short and precious time, but that time was limited.
No matter how much they both wanted that time to not be limited, it was.
He hadn’t been planning on telling Gabriel that he loved him, but it was the truth.
He was falling irrevocably in love with Gabriel, and though admitting it might mean that he was setting himself up for heartbreak, he would not live a lie.
Here, at least, he would let himself live the truth.
Even if that truth could only live in the beautiful, mystical corner of the world that was Orion, Michigan, he would let that truth live and breathe.
And for the summer, it could be true.
They passed the next several weeks in bliss.
There was some local attention about what had happened at the camp on the Fourth of July, and the Ackermanns were worried about their enrollment dropping for the two August sessions of camp.
Drew and Gabriel didn’t let themselves worry about it.
It was a real worry, and they would help where they could, but they were too caught up in their blossoming love to let anything hurt it.
Drew brought new energy to his coaching. He was overflowing with happiness. He smiled at the kids and laughed with them. He encouraged them and praised their performances, even if they weren’t the best.
He was a delight in the coffee shops and the bookstores when he went about his routine on his days off.
He realized he was really going to miss this town when his time came to leave.
It didn’t feel like home, but it had the hazy, perfect glow that a good vacation destination possessed.
It was magical, and what Gabriel had said was true: the barrier between this world and the metaphysical world was thinner in Orion.
Drew didn’t know what he believed about spirituality, but Orion was a spiritual place.
He could feel it, and he let himself be taken up in it.
It may have been the mystical quality of the town, or it may have been the own power of his new love, but the rest of July felt like it was a timeless paradise.
He and Gabriel spent their days off at the beach, reading good books and eating good food.
They went for long walks around town, and they didn’t care who saw them together.
Drew wasn’t afraid of being seen here. His past didn’t matter, and his fame didn’t matter.
He was just “Drew,” the man who loved Gabriel.
That label and that identity were enough for him.
He realized that that identity would be enough for him if that was all he was.
If all he got to be in life was the man who loved Gabriel Ackermann, he would be content.
—
Drew had minimal contact with his people in Boston while he was in Orion. It was almost like he had completely separated himself from that world, like he was a different person. He liked the separation, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back.
In early August, when he had less than a month left in Orion (he would have to leave before the Labor Day picnic), Estelle Hoffman, his manager, called him.
It was one of his days off, and he was lying out at the beach by his rental house.
Gabriel was still at the camp. They were planning on going out for dinner tonight.
A nice dinner, at a nice place. They were making the most of their time together, and they weren’t talking about how it would have to come to an end soon.
When Drew saw his phone ringing, he marked his place in his book and answered. “You’re interrupting my time at the beach,” he said with a smile.
“Good to hear your voice, too, kid,” Estelle said in her husky smoker’s voice. “How’s Michigan?”
“Amazing,” he said. “I’m never coming back.”
“Like hell you’re not. I expect to see you in September, ready for another season.”
“I know. I’ll be back. I’m just having such a great time here.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Made any local friends?”
Drew smiled to himself, thinking about Gabriel, and Evan and Audrey, Irma, and the baristas and bookstore owners. “Yes,” he said. “Lots, actually, though most don’t know who I really am.”
“Have you gotten bored of doing nothing?”
“I’m actually volunteering at the camp, the one I donated money to.”
“Well, look at you being a model citizen. Are you enjoying it?”
“I really am. It kind of surprises me how much I enjoy it.”
Estelle paused, and he could hear her thinking. “You know, you’re thirty-one.”
He propped himself up on his elbows, wondering where she was taking this. “Yes, I’m aware of my age.”
“You’ve had an unusually long NHL career,” she continued carefully. “Almost a decade. No one would be surprised if you considered retiring.”
Retiring. He hadn’t thought about that yet. It was true that he was considered a veteran in the NHL. Many players retired from the game in their late twenties. It was a tough game to play and took a toll on your body.
“I haven’t thought about that,” Drew admitted.
“You have enough money to live more than comfortably for the rest of your life,” Estelle said gently. “Do you really want to continue playing in the NHL?”
“I don’t want my last season to end in an injury,” he said. “I don’t like that that’s the end of my career.” He paused, thinking. “But going back to Boston doesn’t excite me, I’ll admit.”
“You’re still a good player, and I’m not saying you need to retire. You’re one of the top guys in Boston, and they’re lucky to have you.”
Estelle didn’t know about Quentin, and he was not sure he wanted her to know. He trusted her with his life, but it was still a big thing to share with someone.
“Thanks, Estelle,” he said.
“I’ll support whatever you want to do,” she promised. “If that’s retiring, I’ll support you. If it’s playing, I’ll support that, too.”
“That means a lot. Let’s stop talking about my age. Are you enjoying your summer?”
“Almost too much.”
An idea struck him. “You should visit. If you want to, that is. It’s lovely up here, and I think you’d like it.”
“Eh, I don’t know if small towns are my vibe, but I’ll think about it.”
“What about haunted small towns?” he said slyly.
“Now I’m interested. What do you mean?”
“There are plenty of stories of hauntings. I’ve seen a few things I can’t explain.”
“I’ll think about it. I mean that. I’ve got to run, now, but I’m glad to hear you’re doing okay. Think about what you want next, okay? We’ll talk soon.”