Chapter Eleven
MACK HEARD A faint buzzing during the night and rolled over in bed to see Elspeth reaching for her phone. She checked the screen and gave a deep sigh and turned the phone off, placing it on the bedside table.
‘Who was it?’
She turned to him with a rueful expression. ‘My mother.’
He frowned, and propped himself up on one elbow. ‘Doesn’t she realise what time it is?’
She began to chew at her lower lip, her gaze drifting away from his.
‘I didn’t tell her I was in France. She thinks I’m in Scotland, doing a tour on my own.
’ She flopped down on the pillows and released another sigh.
‘She texts or calls dozens of times a day or night. I’m so tired of it, I usually turn off my phone but I forgot when we went to bed. ’
Mack trailed his fingers down the silky skin of her arm. ‘She loves you and is probably worried about you.’
‘I know but I can take care of myself. I’m not a little kid any more.’
‘If you keep ignoring her calls and messages, she’s going to worry even more. It’s what mothers do—they worry.’
Elspeth turned her head on the pillow to look at him. ‘What do you think I should do? Answer every one of them? I’d never get anything else done.’
Mack took her nearest hand and brought it up to his chest. ‘Call her first. Let her know how you’re doing. She’s pursuing you because she’s sensing you’re pulling away. If you reach out to her instead it might rebalance things a bit. It’s worth a try.’
‘I guess...’ She sounded doubtful.
Mack kissed each of her fingertips in turn, his gaze holding hers. ‘Learning to let go is hard for some parents, especially when they’ve had good reason to worry in the past.’
‘I know but I’m trying to live my own life now. She’s spent the last twenty-six years fussing over me like I’m going to drop dead in front of her. I need to know who I am without her. I need autonomy but she won’t let me go.’
Mack could only imagine the terror for a parent having a child with a life-threatening allergy.
His mother had told him of her fear the day he inhaled a peanut that went down to his lung.
He had only been a toddler and had only the slightest memory of it but she had never forgotten it and every time she had spoken of it, he had sensed the raw unmitigated fear she had experienced that day.
But Elspeth’s mother had had many such harrowing days.
Days when she would have been terrified that the anaphylaxis would take away her beloved child.
‘I really don’t know how parents cope with the stress of bringing up kids even without a life-threatening allergy. It seems like such a lot of hard work.’
Elspeth looked at him with her clear blue gaze. ‘Don’t you want to be a father one day?’
It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked the question but it was the first time he paused for a moment over his answer.
He had always ruled out having a family, figuring he’d been responsible for two already.
But now, he allowed the thought some space in his mind.
..picturing what it would be like to hold a baby, his own baby, in his arms. A baby conceived out of love.
And there was that tricky word again—love. The word he avoided, the concept, the emotion he shied away from because it had already done enough damage in his life. Loving had led to hurt, to loss, to bitter disappointment. To scars that never quite healed.
‘Mack?’ Elspeth’s soft voice broke through his moment of reflection.
He gave her hand a playful squeeze. ‘Not right now.’
‘But maybe one day?’
He shrugged. ‘Who knows? What about you? Is becoming a mother important to you?’
A shadow passed over her features and she focussed her gaze on their joined hands. ‘I’d be worried about a baby inheriting my allergy.’
‘There’s no guarantee it would, though.’
She gave a tight smile that was sad at the corners. ‘And no guarantee it wouldn’t. The genetic lottery being what it is.’
‘There are worse things to have than a peanut allergy, surely?’
Elspeth turned on her side to face him. ‘Twins?’
He stroked a finger down the cute slope of her nose. ‘Was it hard being a twin?’
‘No, not really. I adore my sister but while we might look exactly the same, we’re completely different in personality.
’ She paused for a beat before adding, ‘I found it hard to keep up with her, especially with Mum being so overprotective of me all the time. In some ways, Elodie got shoved aside. I guess that’s why she always craved the spotlight because she certainly didn’t get much attention from Mum.
But then, Elodie got to do heaps of stuff I never could.
Going to school, parties, playdates, that sort of thing.
I lost confidence, became shy and introverted. My world shrank while hers expanded.’
Mack gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. ‘You have no reason to lack confidence. You’re an accomplished young woman in your own right. And beautiful and sexy too.’
She gave a rueful grimace. ‘I’m not sure I’m going to be so confident when I next have a lover.’
A sharp pain in his gut caught Mack off guard. But of course she would have another lover one day in the not too distant future. He might be her first but he wouldn’t be her last. Not unless he changed the rules... The rules he had never thought of changing before.
He forced a smile and leaned down to press a light kiss to her lips. ‘Go back to sleep. I have something special planned for the next few days.’
Her eyes lit up. ‘What?’
‘That’s for me to know and for you to find out.’
Elspeth snuggled closer, her legs tangling with his. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be able to get back to sleep now you’ve got me all excited.’
Right back at you, sweetheart.
Mack wrapped his arms around her and for the next half an hour or so sleep was the last thing on his mind.
Over the next few days, Elspeth enjoyed discovering more about the village of Lagrasse. They went on walking tours of the village, picnics by the river and explored the Corbières wine region—the largest wine-producing region of France.
On the last day before they were due to go back home, Mack took her on a tour of the Abbey Sainte-Marie, informing her of its history and other interesting details about its construction.
‘The construction of the abbey was given the go-ahead by Charlemagne in 783,’ he said, walking hand in hand with her.
‘The village developed later and is known for both the abbey and its bridges. The abbey was active from the eighth century until the French Revolution, when many monasteries were destroyed. After one hundred and fifty years of neglect, a restoration programme was established and what we see today is the result.’
‘It’s certainly magnificent,’ Elspeth said, looking around her in wonder and awe.
Mack’s arm went around her waist, drawing her close. ‘I hope I’m not boring you with the history lesson?’
She smiled up at him. ‘Me? Bored? You must be joking. I’m loving every minute.
’ She was loving every minute of being with him.
He could be talking gibberish and she would still be loving it.
But that was the trouble...she was loving not just the sound of his voice, not just the protection of his arm around her waist, not just the way he looked at her, not just the way he made love to her, but him.
She loved him.
The realisation was like a lightning flash, momentarily blinding her.
How could she be so foolish as to fall in love with a man who had no interest in falling in love with anyone, much less her?
And how could it be possible to fall in love with a man she had only met a handful of days ago?
Was it even possible? Or had she let the romantic setting get to her?
Elspeth took a step forward but almost stumbled and Mack’s arm quickly tightened around her waist. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked with a look of concern.
She forced a smile and touched a hand to her warm face. ‘I’m fine. But perhaps a little thirsty.’
‘Come on.’ He led her to the nearest exit. ‘Let’s get a drink and something to eat.’
A short time later they were seated in one of the cafés in the central square of the village.
The square was surrounded by beautiful houses, their facades dating back centuries and adding to the old-world charm of the village.
Elspeth sipped at a glass of mineral water and Mack had coffee while they waited for their food to arrive.
She was conscious of his gaze resting on her, his expression still etched in lines of concern.
‘Feeling any better?’
Elspeth put her glass down and smiled. ‘I’m perfectly fine. I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve shown me. I wish we had another day or two to see more.’
There was a small silence.
‘We could extend our stay,’ Mack said, picking up his coffee cup and cradling it in his cupped palm. ‘I can take a bit more time off work. A day or two at least. How about you?’
Elspeth ran the tip of her tongue over her lips. ‘Are you sure you can spare the time? I guess I could ask for another day or two off work. But aren’t you worried about your brother? Have you heard how he’s doing?’
He put his cup down again. ‘He called me this morning when you were in the shower. Sabine’s father has decided to keep him on after all.’
Elspeth frowned. ‘Really? But how does Sabine feel about that? Won’t she feel her father is being disloyal to her?’
Mack shrugged one broad shoulder. ‘Sabine’s father is like a lot of hard-nosed businessmen—they don’t let emotions get in the way of a good business decision. He’s been impressed with Fraser’s work. That would be his deciding factor in keeping him on, not whether or not it upsets Sabine.’
Elspeth reached for the last of her mineral water. ‘I wonder if he’s hoping they’ll get back together again. But unfaithfulness is a tough thing to forgive.’
‘Yes. And trust hard to build up again.’