Chapter Five #2
And she had to concede, while she did not want to go, that if their paths were going to cross at work, it was going to take more than a ten-minute catch-up in the hospital canteen to work out if it was doable.
Perhaps he’d already decided that it wasn’t and he was going to ask her to consider leaving.
And if he did say that they couldn’t work together and asked her to go, Rachel pondered as she worked her way through the afternoon, what would her response be?
Righteous indignation and How dare you try and dictate my life thirteen years on? Or would she fold over in sweet relief and say Yes, of course I’ll leave, because I’m finding this impossible too?
But of course she wouldn’t say any of that. Far more likely she would fall back on her usual tactic of not giving him the slightest sign that he was getting to her.
Except he was.
There was a very good reason she didn’t want their past getting out. She did not want his name attached to hers. She did not want the inevitable questions and she did not want to have to relive or explain her past when she was struggling to picture a future.
Here.
Working alongside him.
When her shift ended she made her way to the changing rooms, but she still didn’t know if she was going to meet Dominic or slink off home.
From her locker, Rachel pulled out the jeans, jumper and boots she had worn to work that morning, topped them off with a trench coat, and decided she wouldn’t bother with make-up—though usually she’d have put on at least a dash of lipstick if she were catching up with a friend.
Dominic wasn’t a friend, though.
May came into the changing room as Rachel was running a brush through her hair before pulling on a woolly hat.
‘Any plans for tonight?’ May asked.
‘Not really,’ Rachel said.
She was surprised by how much she wanted to confide in May, to tell her she was thinking of going for a drink with her ex-husband, Dominic, and how conflicted and confused she was feeling about it all.
But of course she didn’t. The habit was too ingrained.
Rachel had long learnt to keep her thoughts to herself.
‘Just a quiet one,’ she added as she wound a scarf around her neck.
‘Well, enjoy.’ May smiled and took up her bag and headed out.
Rachel doubted she’d be enjoying herself, but decided that she had to be brave. She would meet with Dominic—just to hear what it was he wanted to ask—and then she’d go home.
He might not have been able to get away early, Rachel consoled herself as she stepped into the pub.
Except, despite the pub being busy, she saw Dominic straight away.
Gosh, he looked completely amazing as he sat there sulking in a beautiful grey suit. He was drumming his fingers on the table, but when she walked in he looked up immediately and raised his hand in greeting.
Rachel gave him a wave to say that she’d seen him, and then went to the bar to get a drink.
* * *
He’d been waiting for fifteen minutes. Richard had agreed that he could leave early to meet Rachel, and had also enquired after his headache.
Clearly Dominic was a hot topic of conversation between his boss and his wife.
Still, as much as that irked, right now the person who really irked him was Rachel.
He was actually surprised to see her, as he had braced himself for the fact she might not come. Yet here she was, looking utterly gorgeous and quietly, despite his reluctance, turning him on.
She took off her scarf and then her hat, in a ritual he knew all too well, then shook out her hair—which was lighter than it had been when they were together, and which she wore straight now.
Rachel carried over what he suspected would be grapefruit juice, and placed it on the table before removing her coat.
Dominic had to force himself to remove his gaze, because he did not want to notice her bust in the tight jumper she wore, nor picture the slim pale legs beneath her jeans, or the blaze of gold that lay between them.
* * *
‘I didn’t know if you wanted to eat?’ Dominic said. ‘I can ask for the menu if you’d like?’
‘No, thanks,’ Rachel said, and watched as he topped up his sparkling water.
He’d never drunk alcohol—well, only very occasionally—as he always liked to be sharp and had long ago told her he couldn’t see the point.
‘Was it a problem?’ Dominic asked. ‘Meeting me tonight?’
She knew he was asking if Gordon knew she was meeting him, and she didn’t know quite what to say, but again she chose not to tell him about the break-up.
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s no problem. So, what is it that you want to ask me?’
‘I’ll get to that. How are you finding working at The Primary?’
He was questioning her as if he were conducting an interview.
‘I like it.’ Rachel’s response was equally wooden, but then she relaxed and gave him an eye-roll. ‘Well, apart from the fact I’ve just found out that my ex-husband works there.’
‘How inconvenient,’ Dominic retorted, and they finally shared a smile.
‘Very,’ she agreed, and then asked, ‘How long have you been there?’
‘For ever,’ Dominic said. ‘I did my clinical training there and never left.’
‘So when did you decide to become a doctor?’ she asked, with what she told herself was curiosity but what she feared was a desperation to know more.
‘After you and I broke up I took stock, I guess, and I had the grades... To tell the truth, I had thought of medicine before, but wasn’t sure I’d be any good.’
‘But you’re the cleverest person I know.’
‘I meant socially,’ Dominic said. ‘But all that time working with your dad taught me a lot.’
‘How?’
He shrugged. Clearly he wasn’t prepared to open up entirely. ‘So, you say he’s seeing someone?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ Rachel nodded.
* * *
Dominic was genuinely curious about his former father-in-law.
They hadn’t kept in touch, as such. There had been a couple of phone calls that he didn’t want to think about, and it had also taken Dominic two years to pay him back for the funeral.
Every month he’d sent half his wages—more if he could afford it.
And every month he’d got a brief note thanking him for the payment.
Until the final one.
Well done, lad.
We’re all square now and I wish you nothing but the best.
Dave
The note had meant a lot and he’d kept it.
‘What’s she like?’ he asked now.
‘Talkative,’ Rachel said.
‘Really?’
‘Opinionated,’ she elaborated. ‘She’s taking Dad shopping next week. Says she’s sick of his old jumpers.’
‘And he’s agreed to go?’
‘He’s smitten.’ Rachel rolled her eyes heavenwards. ‘Smitten! I caught them kissing in the kitchen.’
Now, that he couldn’t imagine, and Dominic felt his mouth gaped for a moment. ‘And how do you feel about it?’
* * *
Rachel tightened her hand on her glass. Dominic had always made her examine things. He’d always asked how she felt. And now, just like thirteen years ago, she didn’t know how to share how she felt, so she settled for the classic response.
‘Fine.’ Rachel shrugged. ‘As long as he’s happy.’
Only that wasn’t quite true, and she could not entirely escape Dominic’s piercing eyes.
She could almost feel her superpower fading against the scrutiny of his gaze.
It dawned on her that apart from her brothers, who didn’t discuss such things, Dominic was the only person she knew who might understand the magnitude of her dad dating again.
‘It’s going to take a bit of getting used to,’ she admitted.
‘Has there been anyone else since your mum?’
Rachel found she was holding her breath, because in the past he had always been trying to get her to open up about her mum. He’d always slip her into conversation, when in the Walker household the subject of her mum had been strictly forbidden.
‘No.’ She gave a small shake of her head.
‘So she’s the first woman he’s dated in twenty-six years?’ Dominic said. ‘Wow.’
Yes, wow, indeed...
It touched her that without asking he could do the maths, that he still knew the dates and anniversaries that mattered so much to her.
‘I think it’s been going on for a while,’ Rachel admitted.
‘What makes you think that?’
‘Just a couple of things that were said. I actually think she’s angling to move in.’
‘Good luck to her, then. I remember trying to stack that dishwasher...’
‘Oh, it wasn’t just you he had a go at about it,’ Rachel assured him. ‘I don’t go near it. He’s so set in his ways I just can’t believe he’s started dating.’
‘She must be pretty special,’ Dominic commented, ‘to have got under that rhino hide of his.’
‘Maybe...’ she conceded.
He was making her laugh.
He was making her think.
But then, Dominic had always done that to her.
‘Give her a chance, Rachel.’
‘I am—but what if she does move in?’ Rachel sighed. ‘And what happens if...?’ She stopped then, and blinked, because she hadn’t aired her thoughts about this to anyone before. Even when they’d been together she’d kept most of her thoughts to herself.
‘If they break up?’
‘Yes.’
‘You can’t stop your dad getting hurt.’
‘I know that.’
‘At least she won’t have to look far for a removal company.’ Dominic laughed. ‘God, remember when he moved us into the flat?’
Rachel wished he wouldn’t reminisce, but she gave a little laugh to disguise her confusion at her fondness for the memories he evoked. ‘I do.’
They’d actually had so little to move that it could have been done in a couple of car trips, but her dad had insisted on a lorry.
‘That flat’s actually up for sale.’
She’d passed the sign when she’d been at home, visiting her dad, but she didn’t dare tell Dominic that she’d been tempted to go in and take a look, for old times’ sake...
Rachel hadn’t known it back then, of course, but both the best and worst times of her life had taken place in that flat.
* * *
Dominic bought them both another drink, and they reminisced for a dangerously long while.
About the flat.
About the café across the road.
About the best of times.
But not about the parts that hurt the most—and Dominic knew it was time to get to that.
‘Do you want another drink,’ he offered, ‘or the menu?’