CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Penelope
I was crossing so many lines.
Lines that felt good.
His skin beneath my hands felt rough, like he hadn’t shaved in two days, and the friction against my mouth was painful and passionate. With each movement, I was trying to get closer and closer to him.
“You’re sick,” I whispered against his mouth as the clock in the living room ticked slowly like we needed a reminder that there were kids upstairs, that we both had very different lives as he’d so painfully reminded me earlier that day.
Attraction was one thing.
Acting on it was another.
But believing it could go past those two things? That just seemed like the road to a broken heart.
“Hey.” He braced my head with both of his hands. “I have a headache, and yeah, I feel like shit, but it’s not like I have a head cold or anything.”
“Because those are worse?”
“Always.” He grinned. “Penny…” He swept me up in another kiss that had me forgetting I was straddling him on his couch with his kids upstairs.
“Daaaaaaaad!” Eric wailed. “Malcom hit me!”
“Hit him back,” he grumbled against my lips before pulling away and yelling up the stairs. “Kinda busy right now!”
“Daaaaaaaaad!” Footsteps thumped overhead, heading toward the stairs.
Slowly, I pried myself away from Trevor’s warm body, from the muscles that held me close and the lips that kept me there. On wobbly legs, I moved around the couch and walked into the kitchen while Eric made a beeline for his dad and threw his hands in the air in frustration.
Trevor got on his level. “You guys need to stop fighting.”
Malcom ran down the stairs yelling, “He said Mom isn’t ever coming back! Tell him, Dad, tell him it’s not true!”
Bella stood at the top of the stairway, tears in her eyes.
I wanted to fix it. God, how did I fix it?
I hated that Trevor was right. They were his number one priority. It would be selfish of me to ask for more, to ask for him to make space for one more when they were barely surviving.
“Bella, sweet.” I beamed up at her. “Do you want to help me make some cookies?”
Eric’s head whipped in my direction. “What kind?”
“Depends.” I crossed my arms. “Are you going to be nice to your brother?”
He seemed to think about it while Malcom wiped the tears on his cheeks.
“Tell you what. I’ll let all three of you help while your dad rests.” I gave Trevor a pointed look. “And while they’re baking, we can pick out a board game.”
“Yay!” Bella cheered.
Both boys shrugged, but I could see the excitement glimmer in their eyes. They were good kids, they were just hurting, and hurting people hurt people, didn’t they?
“Eric,” Trevor intervened. “Apologize to Malcom, please.”
Eric turned to his brother and sighed like the world was against him, his shoulders slumped forward. “Sorry I said Mom wasn’t coming back.”
“It’s okay.” Malcom sniffled. “Don’t you want her to, Eric?”
“No.” Eric said in an indifferent voice. “She used to make us be quiet and sit in front of the TV while she invited her friends over. She never played with us like Dad or Penny.”
I sucked in a sharp breath.
“She’s not good enough for us,” Eric added in a confident voice as he made his way into the kitchen and stared me down. “We need directions.”
And that was it.
I sent Trevor back to the couch and played with the kids. By the time we were done with the cookies, cleanup, and the board game, it was dinnertime. Trevor had fallen asleep at some point.
I ordered pizza.
He slept through it all, so hard in fact, that I walked by several times to make sure he was still breathing. The guy was exhausted, and I wondered if it had more to do with him being a single dad trying to do it all than the fact that he was feeling sick.
The guy probably hadn’t truly slept in years.
I pulled a blanket up over his body and gave a jolt when Bella appeared in front of me. “Are you going to marry my daddy?”
“Uhhhh.” I kept my voice low and smiled down at her. “Honey, your daddy’s wonderful, but we aren’t getting married.”
“Oh.” Her brows furrowed. “But you like him, right?”
“Of course,” I said slowly. “But your daddy and I are just friends.”
“Ohhhhh.” She nodded. “Does that mean I can kiss friends at school like you did Daddy today?”
I gaped. “No, no, no, no, you see your daddy was… not feeling well and kisses make people feel better but only when you’re… sixteen.”
Trevor grunted in his sleep.
“Or thirty-five. Yes, that was my… first kiss, and even then, I’m clearly not old enough to be doing that. I’m sorry.” I lied through my teeth. I was only 27 and had my first kiss at fifteen.
Yup, I was apologizing to an almost four-year-old.
Great.
Perfect.
“I guess that makes more sense.” She beamed up at me. “You’re not leaving us, are you?”
“No, why would you think that?”
“People leave.” She looked down at her feet.
“I’m not most people.” I pulled her in for a hug. “Now go brush your teeth and get your PJs on, and I’ll be up in a bit to tuck you in.”
“Can we sing Twinkles?”
“At least four times!” I winked. “Maybe five, if the guys join in with instruments that don’t resemble farts.”
“Boys are gross.”
“That’s why we don’t kiss them,” I added, scrunching up my nose.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, “But Daddy isn’t gross. Maybe I’ll marry him one day?”
“Maybe.” I kissed her forehead. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”
She scampered off and raced up the stairs.
“You’re so good with her.” Trevor’s voice was thick with sleep as his eyes opened and stared right through me to the center of my existence.
I was sucked into his universe, into his vortex, and there was no escaping, was there?
“Thanks for making her wait until thirty-five. Guess I should be more careful.”
“We need to be more than careful. We can’t…” I sighed. “That can’t happen again.”
“It can.” He moved to his feet so fast I stumbled backwards. “It will.”
“So sure of yourself?” I teased, my body already pulsing in anticipation.
“Absolutely.” He didn’t look away from me. Instead, he stood, leaned close, and pulled me into his embrace, then left me as he slowly walked up the stairs. “I’ll put the kids to bed. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax?”
“I don’t have a tub in my bathroom.” I frowned at his retreating form.
He looked over his shoulder and gave me the sexiest smile ever. “I know. But I do.”
“Trevor—”
“You know where it’s at.”
“I don’t think—”
“Don’t think,” he interrupted again once he made it to the top of the stairwell. “And if you’re being really adventurous, you can use the princess bubble bath. Bella swears by it.”
How could I say no to his smile?
To the princess bubble bath?
To the heated looks he gave me?
“Okay,” I said, whispering my answer like a coward.