Chapter Sixteen
Ain’t No Sunshine
Jem hadn’t heard from River in two days.
Not to be dramatic about it or anything, except Jem had been spending a lot of time with River and River was nothing if not dramatic. River had also texted, called, or video chatted him pretty regularly for seven entire weeks. The sudden radio silence made Jem itchy.
He was supposed to be back in LA late last night. Now it was almost one and Jem still hadn’t heard from him. Which maybe wouldn’t have been weird if River’s body wasn’t probably still on Eastern Standard Time, where it was closer to four.
Jem had spent the entire morning deep-cleaning his apartment—not because it needed it but because he did—and was contemplating going down to detail the Subaru (which also didn’t need it) when his phone rang.
Thank God.
Except the call ID didn’t show as River. It was Amanda.
Oh fuck, did something happen? Did the plane crash? Had River had some kind of medical emergency? Did—
Yeah, he should answer the phone.
“Amanda, hi! Is he okay?”
“Mr. Anderson,” she said coolly.
Jem took that as a big no.
“You may be aware of some rumors circulating about the Flat Tires.”
Forget cool, that was downright frosty. “Uh,” said Jem, scrambling for his bearings. “May I? What rumors?”
There was just a slight pause, a moment where he thought Amanda might clarify. Instead she said, “Should we discover that you’ve violated your nondisclosure agreement, please know that we will be enforcing the full terms of your contract.”
So they thought Jem had said something he shouldn’t have, and what, now they were going to sue for the retainer back?
“Do I need to call my lawyer?” That seemed like a yes.
Which was not the greatest timing, since Ivy was currently doing her best impression of the Goodyear Blimp.
But honestly, fuck it. He didn’t care about the money.
“Amanda, I swear I didn’t do anything. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Can you just—is River okay?” God, that sounded desperate. “I haven’t heard from him.”
“River is fine, however, understandably very busy with the band and managing press. Please do not attempt to contact him for the time being.”
Jem fishmouthed. Was River breaking up with him via his manager? “I… Amanda, I—”
A heavy sigh. “Jem.” Another pause. “I have no idea what you did or didn’t do, okay? You seem like a nice guy. But I don’t work for you. I work for River, and he’s hurting right now, so that’s my priority. I hope you understand.”
The call ended.
Cold washed down Jem’s esophagus. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, but at least he had a place to start. He thumbed open a new tab and did a search for the latest news on the Flat Tires.
It didn’t take him long to find it.
The Flat Tires Guitarist Debuts Secret Solo TikTok Amid Rumors of Band Split
What We Know About the Flat Tires Breakup
Is River Wild Leaving the Flat Tires?
Fuck.
Jem stared at his phone screen, frozen.
And then, with shaking fingers, he tapped Ivy’s contact and hit Call.
“Ivy.” It hadn’t hit him yet, but he could feel it coming, the magnitude of what this meant. Do not attempt to contact him. He’s hurting right now.
Had Jem said something at the wedding? He didn’t remember talking about River his famous boyfriend, just River the guy who liked it when Jem got catty about people’s bad fashion choices.
Maybe he’d left his phone unlocked and someone had gone through it? Or broken into it somehow?
Either way—
“I think I fucked up.”
River, Amanda, Ward, Eric, and Ted spent three days in strategy sessions trying to mitigate the damage.
They couldn’t make a statement that the Flat Tires weren’t breaking up, but they didn’t want to give credence to the rumors either, that River wanted to leave to start a solo career or that Jem had driven a wedge between him and the band or—
Every time he thought about it, River had to stop and take a breath. Sometimes he pressed on his breastbone, like that might quell the ache within. It never did.
Worse, he often caught himself thinking things like I wonder if Jem will make pulled-pork tacos this week, or Jem would love those shoes, and he’d smile.
Until he remembered Jem had fucked him over, and then it hurt like salt in a wound.
Finally, Ted and Amanda came to the conclusion that the best thing to do was get the whole band back on a plane to New York, have them do one of the late-night talk shows, and put a real, candid, human face on the truth.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” River said for the hundredth time. Eric shouldn’t have to share his pain with the world.
Eric gave him a look like River was the one who was suffering, which sucked because River had been working hard to hide it. He’d felt so confident in his transition to life after the Flat Tires just a week ago. Now it was all up in the air. Or shattered in pieces on the floor. “Dude.”
God, not that tone of voice. He couldn’t do this to River now. They were supposed to be on Jimmy Fallon in ten minutes.
Something on River’s face must’ve communicated don’t touch me, because if Eric hugged him, he’d cry, and then how the fuck was he supposed to perform his new song?
“We chose this together. We’re always going to be in it together.” He quirked a sad smile. “Even when we’re not in it together. You know?”
“Fuck off,” River said, shoving at his arm. “Where’s Ward? I need someone to tell me a fart joke.”
“I forgot why Fallon loves you,” Eric sighed, and then a beleaguered PA came to give their five-minute warning, and they had to harass Ward out of the bathroom.
Jimmy had strict instructions that the topic of Jem was off-limits, and he stuck to that. Instead the conversation stayed in the realm of We made a mutual decision to stop touring so Ward and Eric can spend time with their families.
Jimmy leaned forward across the desk. “Now it’s always been the three of you, right? Not just the three of you, but you started it, and you’ve been in it the whole time.”
River let the two of them carry this part of the interview, since the last segment focused on him.
“Yeah, we started when we were what, seventeen? So it’s been our entire adult lives.
” Ward paused to take a sip of water. River fought down the urge to squeeze his shoulder; he could tell Ward was emotional as it was.
“Not a lot of people get to work one job their whole life, never mind with their best friends. But it’s been difficult in recent years because we started having families, and then Eric got his diagnosis… .”
They paused here to go into a little of what it had been like for Eric to play through the pain, how it had started off mild but then worsened until now he ended most shows in agony.
“And we can’t replace him,” Ward broke in. “We wouldn’t be the Flat Tires anymore.”
“Well, and also you want to spend time with your family too,” River pointed out. “I’m not going to play our songs without you.”
“So you decided to take an indefinite break. Why keep it a secret?”
Eric and Ward exchanged looks before Ward answered.
“We didn’t want to drive up ticket prices.
Concerts aren’t cheap to begin with, but if we started announcing ‘last chance to see the Flat Tires live, maybe forever,’ how many more scalpers would snatch up the tickets?
We want to see fans at our shows—regular fans, not just the ones who can drop a thousand bucks a ticket. ”
Eric picked up. “We put a maximum on how many tickets you can buy with one credit card, to try to keep things fair. It’ll be a pain if you’re in a group of more than five, but we felt like we had to.”
Finally the attention turned to River. He’d had several minutes to warm up, and he still didn’t feel ready when the host turned to him and said, “And so is that, kind of, where the solo TikTok thing started?”
Here goes nothing. River nodded. “I didn’t want to start any rumors—I know, ironic, right?
But I kind of wanted to start defining a new sound, finding an audience, and TikTok was a great way to do that as long as I kept it anonymous.
I actually have no idea how this leaked, because there’s no way it was Lara—she plays like every instrument I don’t plus all the ones I do, she’s actually just waiting for me on the stage—wave, Lara! ”
Lara saluted him with a drumstick.
“Anyway.” He didn’t think he could get out the lie—I actually have no idea how this leaked—a second time, so he didn’t try. “Somebody figured it out, and here we are.”
“Here we are,” Jimmy agreed. “And here you are”—a video appeared on the screen behind him, showing the first TikTok posted from River’s solo account—“and I guess it’s not a leap to say you found your voice and your audience.”
God, was the view counter on that video live? Yep, it had just ticked up.
The worst part of the whole thing, honestly. He wished he’d posted any other song than that one. He would rather start all over again than have to play that song for the rest of his life, when the man he wrote it for turned out to be—
Just what River’d been trying to avoid when he hired him.
After an awkward moment, River realized it was his turn to talk. “Yeah, uh, the reception has been better than we could’ve hoped.” At least he could say that much. “I guess it really resonates with audiences, which is always what an artist—sorry, a band—is looking for.”
“And now you’re here to resonate with us, is that right?”
“Me and Lara,” River agreed, trying to be subtle about wiping his palms on his jeans. He’d spent half of his life on stage. But he usually had Eric on drums and Ward in front of the microphone to keep him company.
After the Flat Tires show in LA, he might never have them with him again, unless it was in the audience, like they were today.
He pushed the thought away as Jimmy announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in person—this is Road Noise with their TikTok smash hit ‘All that Glitters.’”