Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Midas
After that night, I made sure whenever we were in the same room, Legs was by my side, because avoiding her after work clearly wasn’t working.
She’d been at Au for almost a year now, and for the most part, I managed to keep the other brothers away. And the times it didn’t, I’d kept my word and fucked the memory of them out of her.
It’s not lost on me that in not claiming Legs as mine, we’d somehow fallen into this fucked-up relationship.
I’ve gotta give her credit, though. She’s rolled with the punches, never demanding more, even when I went too far.
And I’ll admit, there were times I did. I’m not good at thinking shit through.
I’m a react-first, regret-later kinda guy.
Sometimes I was so far out of line that if our roles had been reversed, I would’ve walked.
No way I’d’ve handled half that shit with the kind of dignity she did.
I look over at the sound of her giggle and see her leaning on Lil’s shoulder, both of them doubled over, laughing at something. I keep an eye on them, ready to step in if I see any brother get too close, giving her the illusion of space while I control the perimeter.
“You ever going to claim her?”
I jolt at the sound of Conan’s voice. “Jesus Christ. We really should get you a bell, you’re like a fucking ninja.”
He grins, sipping his beer. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shakes his head before turning to look at the prospect behind the bar. “Grab me another beer, Puck.”
“You got it, Conan.”
He nods to the prospect, then turns back, beer still in hand.
“Where’s the rest of your crew?”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I grin. “Touche, asshole.”
He tips his beer and takes another sip.
“Well, I don’t know what the fuck to call you. I know Sunshine’s your old lady, but what are Blade, King, and Inigo to you?”
“You mean other than pains in my ass?”
“Well, yeah?”
“They’re just my brothers. I guess it’s not much different from what Mac and Toot have going on. We don’t cross swords, and none of us are interested in each other sexually.” He grimaces at the thought, making me chuckle.
“What we have is normal for us, especially me, King, and Inigo, because Kings of Carnage have always had multiple men with a single old lady. It’s a protection thing, and something we take very seriously.
But that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
And looking around at some of my Raven brothers, I know it wouldn’t work here.
Maybe if the club was born into the culture like Carnage, it’d be different. ”
I tip my head, conceding his point just as Crane walks up to the girls. I fight the urge to storm over to them, but with Conan watching me, I hold back.
“If you hate seeing her with anyone else, do something about it.”
“It’s not like that.”
He snorts, turning to face the bar. He picks up his fresh beer and takes a swig as I turn and signal to the prospect to bring me a bottle, too.
“It is like that. You’re just too fucking blind to see it.”
“Look, I know you think you’re trying to help, but you’re not. I like Legs, sure. She’s a great fuck, but that’s all she’ll ever be to me.”
“Um… can I get a Coke, please?” Legs’s soft voice comes from just behind me, and I freeze. Conan mutters something under his breath, but I ignore him. I turn and see Legs’s wounded face.
“Legs—”
“Here you go, Legs,” the prospect says, handing her a glass bottle of Coke with a fucking straw in it, and I glare at him for knowing how she likes her drink. He frowns when he looks at me before quickly backing away.
I turn back to Legs, but she’s gone.
Looking around, I find her back with Crane and Lil, laughing like I didn’t just hurt her. Only now, looking closer, can I see how her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and how stiff she holds herself. Her hand shakes a little as she lifts the bottle and slips the straw between her lips.
“You’re a dumb fuck,” Conan says. I turn back to the bar, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“It’s not like I did it on purpose. I didn’t know she was behind me.”
“That’s not what I was referring to,” he mutters, taking a drink of his beer.
I’m not stupid. I know I keep hurting her. I just don’t know how to stop. “Believe it or not, it kills me to hurt her, but I can’t be with her.”
“I hate that you think that’s true.”
“No offense, Conan, but you don’t know me well enough to know what’s true.”
“Fair enough. But at this point, I’m wondering if anyone really knows you.”
I don’t have an answer for that. Half the time, I’m not sure I even know myself.
“Well, if you don’t want anything more, stop acting like you do. The brothers have noticed your attitude, so most are willing to back off to see how this plays out, but that’s a courtesy. She’s a bunny, not an old lady. You can’t have it both ways.”
“I didn’t ask them for anything.”
“No, you didn’t, but they did it anyway. Don’t be a dick because people care about you.” He looks over his shoulder at Legs before looking back at me. “She loves you. I can see she’s trying to hide it, but the eyes don’t lie.”
I open my mouth to deny it, but he holds up his hand. “I know you see it, so don’t bullshit a bullshitter. If this is all you want, you better make it clear to that girl before you hurt her any more than you already have.”
“Jesus, Conan, she knows the score. How the fuck did I become the bad guy here?”
“Don’t put fucking words in my mouth. I didn’t say you were a bad guy. I’m saying you’re not the right guy. Not for her anyway.” He stands up to leave.
“What the fuck?”
“Some of the guys here would give their left nut to call a girl like Legs theirs. Plainly, you’re not one of them. No offense, Midas. We all have the right to feel what we feel, but that girl deserves more than this, and the sooner she realizes it, the better.”
He walks off before I can ask him what the fuck he’s talking about. I look around and see a few brothers staring, and others quickly looking away, but none of them have the balls to say anything. Well, fuck them.
I turn back to the bar and nurse my beer until I feel hands slide down my back. I look up with a smile, expecting to find Legs. But it’s not. It’s Kiki.
“Hey, Midas. You’re looking a little lonely over here. You want some company?”
I look over at Legs, who doesn’t even pretend she’s not watching us.
Her eyes drift to mine, and I see it then.
The love Conan was talking about, the love she’s trying so hard to hide.
She’s pouring herself into something I can’t give her, and if I don’t do something now, I’ll only end up hurting her worse.
Fuck.
I look up at Kiki and give her one of my patented smirks, running my hand up the back of her bare leg before slapping her ass. “Company sounds pretty fucking good.”
She grins, and I stand up. Taking her hand, I lead her upstairs without a backward glance, even though I can feel eyes burning a hole through my cut.
I tell myself it’s better this way, that it needs to be done for both our sakes.
So why the fuck does it feel like I’ve just taken a knife to the chest?
I head back downstairs after I’ve taken a shower and instinctively look for Legs.
“Hey, Midas!”
I hear Circus calling me and look over to find him sitting at a table with Hannibal, Toot, and Mac. I make my way through the crowd and take the empty seat beside him. “Boys.”
“Midas,” Mac greets. Toot adds, “Hey, man.” And Hannibal just nods.
“What’s going on?”
“Not much, just talking about these prospects. What’s your take on them?”
“I can’t even remember their names.” Toot snorts at that. “So I’d say none of them stand out.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Circus says to Mac.
“If they aren’t standing out, they’re not fucking up, though. That’s gotta count for something, right?” Toot chimes in, watching me.
I shrug. “True. I’m just not sure I trust any of them to have my back if it came down to it.”
“You think they can’t be trusted?” Hannibal leans forward.
I get why he asks, given that one of our prospects threw his in with Bear and Snake.
“No. I think they’re pussies. They’re more likely to run than pull their guns and cover my back.”
Circus grunts, nodding his head in agreement. “We’ll bring it up in church.”
“We have three new ones starting soon.”
“I hate breaking in new ones,” Toot whines. “They’re so damn needy.”
Hannibal grins, sending a shiver down my spine. “That’s my favorite part.”
Toot groans. I shake my head—those poor fuckers. I look around the room for the familiar head of blonde hair but can’t find her.
“She’s not here. She took off right after you and Kiki went upstairs,” Hannibal says, catching everyone else’s attention.
“I’m not looking for anyone.”
“Right.” He smirks, getting to his feet. “I’m off to play then. I think I’ll go find Legs. The sex is always better when you’ve got her panties in a twist.”
I grip the edge of my seat to stop myself from wrapping my hands around his neck and choking him out. He waits for me to say something, but when I don’t, he grins maniacally and heads for the door.
“Fuck. Hannibal?” I call after him, making him stop and turn. “Don’t.”
I don’t say anything else. He doesn’t need me to.
His cold eyes stare at me for a second, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking, and that scares the shit out of me.
Then he turns. “Make a choice, Midas,” he says over his shoulder, walking off before I can tell him I’ve already made my choice.
I’m just trying to figure out how to live with it.
I turn to look at the guys and find them all staring at me. “You got something to say, too? Seems like every man and his fucking dog has an opinion about me right now.”
Circus holds his hands up. “Don’t look at me, I’m Switzerland.”
“What about you two?” I ask Mac and Toot.
Mac shrugs. “Has nothing to do with me. But Hannibal’s right, though—which is something I never thought I’d say. You’ve gotta decide what you want, because there are some things you just can’t take back.”
“You think I don’t know that, Mac? I’m trying to limit the damage.
I know I’ve gotta end it before I hurt her even worse.
I just don’t know how. How do I tell her that being a club girl is not something I can just get over?
” I don’t tell him that walking away might just break me.
I’ve got nobody to blame but myself because she never lied about who she is; I’m the one who dabbles in denial when it suits me.
Toot grins. “If you can’t get past her being a club girl, then its already over. I guess that means you don’t have a problem with us fucking her? Because I gotta tell you, that woman’s pussy—”
I punch him before it even registers. Luckily, he was expecting it and turned, taking the brunt to his shoulder.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Not wanting to hurt Legs is one thing, but how many times are you gonna end it?
Because every time you push her away, you reel her right back in again.
This whole thing is like a car crash waiting to happen, and I hate to break it to you, Midas, but you won’t walk away unscathed in this either. ”
And fuck me, but the truth hurts. I almost wish he’d punched me back instead.