Chapter 12 #2
“Oh, bless you,” He grins as I take a seat and settle in for the ride.
My mind drifts, thinking about how insane the last few weeks have been.
I glance back at the apartment complex as we pull away and let out a sigh.
It’s not exactly my forever home, but I need to save as much money as possible for when the baby arrives.
I’ve got a small nest egg, but that’ll quickly disappear once the baby gets here.
I think about the guys and how they’re all doing, a smile tugging at my lips as my thoughts go to Havoc and Nevaeh, and Amity and G. It was nice to see some of them settle down and find their happily ever afters before I left. Hell, from what I’ve heard, even Hannibal’s halfway there.
I sigh and let my eyes slip closed as my brain goes straight to him. My stomach knots at the memory of our last moments together. Some of it’s a blur, but the pain isn’t something I’m going to forget anytime soon.
Most days, I push him from my mind. I sure as heck know he isn’t sitting at the clubhouse thinking about me.
I just wish my heart and head were on the same page.
I try not to beat myself up about it. He spent years digging his way in, making me fall in love with him when I swore I wouldn’t, before leaving me in pieces.
So it makes sense that it’ll take me years to climb out of the grave my heart’s buried in.
I rub my hand over my chest, trying to ease the pain I’ll carry with me from this life to the next. That’s the way it is with some people. They leave a scar, whether you want to carry their mark or not.
I think the worst part is knowing I can’t even blame it all on him. I knew we were doomed from the start, but I went for it anyway, even though I knew it would break me. I thought the good outweighed the bad. Guess I was wrong. Funny how you don’t see the full picture until you step away.
In the end, he gave me just enough of himself to keep me hooked. And now, with him gone, I have to fight the withdrawals daily. I have to remind myself that I might want him more than my next breath, but I don’t need him.
I’ve survived worse than Midas.
And I’ll keep telling myself that every damn day if needed, because eventually it has to stick. Right?
I shake my head and focus on my plan for the day. Before I know it, Gene is calling out to me.
“We’re here. Good luck. I’ll keep everything crossed for you.”
“Thank you.” I blow him a kiss as I step off and wave as he drives away.
After smoothing down the imaginary wrinkles in my shirt, I take a steadying breath and cross the street to the diner on the corner. When I push the door open, it’s already busy, the breakfast rush in full swing. I head to the counter and wait until the waitress is free before catching her eye.
Her face lights up when she sees me, remembering me from yesterday.
“You came back!”
“You told me to, right?” I ask with a nervous smile.
“I did. But with how crazy it was when you were here, I thought it might’ve scared you off.”
“Hey, Susie, can I get more coffee?”
She turns and holds up a finger. “One sec, Fred.” Then she looks back at me. “Sorry. Anyway, Del’s in her office. Head toward the restrooms, then take a left. You can’t miss it.”
“Thanks, Susie.”
She smiles before heading off. I spot the sign for the restrooms and follow her directions until I find a brass plate that reads Office.
I knock, and a voice calls for me to come in.
Pushing the door open, I see a woman in her early thirties sitting behind a desk.
She has red hair, which is obviously dyed, but works perfectly with her peaches-and-cream complexion.
She lifts her head, and a pair of startling blue eyes that take me in from head to toe.
I fight the urge to squirm as she stands.
“Okay, first things first. You’re gonna need to tell me where you got those jeans, ’cause if they can make my ass look like yours, I’ll die happy,” she says, her voice gravelly.
I can’t help but crack up at her comment. I don’t know if she’s a smoker or a phone sex operator. It really could go both ways. She’s gorgeous, though. If my heart wasn’t still tied to Midas, I’d be a puddle about now.
“Honestly, I picked these up at Old Navy.”
“Really? Well, fuck. I’ve been looking for perfection in all the wrong places.”
“Story of my life,” I grumble, making her grin.
She reaches out her hand, and I take in the thick brown leather cuffs with silver buckles around her wrist. “I’m Del.”
“I love those.” I nod to her cuffs as I reach out to shake her hand. “I’m Hazel.”
She freezes for a second, her eyes landing on my raven tattoo. I can’t tell if the look that crosses her face is because of my comment or because of my tattoo, but the room suddenly feels a lot colder. I let go of her hand and tug my sleeve down.
When she snaps out of it, her face is a little paler than before, and she sits back down.
“Should I just go?” I ask softly, hating how small my voice sounds.
She shakes her head and motions for me to sit. “So, tell me about yourself, Hazel.”