Chapter Twenty-Nine
It would’ve been - had my brain felt up to the challenge of tracking it - an interesting science experiment into time, anticipation, and dread.
Would the clock tick with agonizing slowness toward five, mired with the understanding that I was so eager to see Flynn again?
Or, with the prospect of packing, going with him to the city the following day, and beginning a whole process of moving that still felt nebulous and unbelievable, would its hands spin at breakneck speed, hurtling me into this freshly-terrifying world?
Perhaps the two would balance out, leaving time unmolested and free to beat its usual cadence. I didn’t have a chance to clock-watch, anyway, with a steady stream of shoppers through the door.
It was another reminder that, for all it could be frustrating at times, I liked my job.
Enjoyed seeing familiar faces, and the way they’d softly light up at some fresh discovery.
Seeing children grow, the thrift store punctuating their transition from baby, to toddler, to rambunctious and impatient little kid.
I’d only worked there a handful of years, really, but that’d been enough to see a decent-sized slice of people’s lives.
And at the same time, all that was laced with the knowledge that they - like most people - were unaware of so much that made up my own life.
Keeping my sexuality private, whether for fear of the reaction or anything else, had thrown up a wall between me and the community around me.
Dinner with Flynn and my parents had left me filled with casserole, yes, but it’d also filled a part of my soul that I hadn’t even realized was so hungry.
Sitting there, with my mom, and my dad, and the man who was now my boyfriend, felt like a transparency I’d never experienced before. Once I’d had a taste of that it was difficult to feel satisfied with anything else.
Last purchase rung up, last bag handed over, I set about closing up the store.
It was silly, the sense of finality about it; I was, after all, only going to transport the first few boxes to Flynn’s place.
Even if I accepted the new job, it wasn’t like they’d pluck me out of the shop immediately and transplant me to the city.
There’d be a replacement manager to find and train up, at the very least.
All the same, there was a countdown attached to cashing out the register, switching off the lights, and locking the door. I didn’t know what number it was starting out from, exactly, but regardless of that detail an end was in sight.
#
My phone lit up on the dashboard. Catherine’s name on the screen.
“What treasures did you sell today?” She wasn’t much for preamble.
“The most incredible green blouse,” I told her, grinning at the memory. “With huge frogs all across the chest. It was exquisite.”
She snorted amusement. “The next time someone complains there’s no fashion in this backwater, just you tell them that there’s a lady walking around wearing a frog-titty shirt. Paris wishes it was this classy.”
I laughed. “Now I’m sad I didn’t bring it home for you.”
“Yeah, you asshole. It’s like you’re intentionally trying to sabotage my dating prospects.”
“Guilty as charged,” I confessed. “I want you all to myself, obviously.”
“I wonder what Flynn would say about that,” Catherine teased.
“Kyle just can’t keep a secret, can he.”
“Oh, so city-boy being home unexpectedly was meant to be a secret, was it?” She sounded delighted at the prospect. “Anything else you need to tell me? Get off your chest?”
At some point I’d have to tell them the truth. All of the parts of it, too: that yes, Flynn and I were dating; yes, he was dragging me away with him.
Well, no. That wasn’t fair. I had enough reason to leave now, and I was taking a chance on that. Flynn was part of it - a big part, sure - but any success or failure I might run into was my own doing.
“He’s headed back tomorrow,” I said. There’d be a better time to explain he wouldn’t be alone. “How about the four of us grab a drink tonight?”
Catherine gave an exaggerated gasp. “You’ll share him! How generous of you. I’ll let Kyle know.”
I shook my head, half-regretting it already. “Don’t forget to wear something classy: the fashion reputation of this town rests upon your shoulders.”
She chuckled. “I’ll check my closet for animal-boob couture.”
#
Part of me wanted Flynn to say he was busy, to make an excuse.
To give me a reason of my own to delay the inevitable.
Catherine and Kyle would be happy for me, that I’d finally found a guy I liked, I had no doubt of that.
They’d even be excited for me, at the prospect of moving away.
Yet there’d also be the inevitable disappointment: that our little hometown trio would be stretched, and probably never quite feel the same again.
The idea of that brought a lump to my throat as I tapped the button to call Flynn.
“Hey, handsome.”
I rolled my eyes. “Imaginative.”
He laughed. “Just trying out some options. How do you feel about ‘pretty dick’?”
“I’m gonna hang up the phone, now,” I threatened.
Flynn apparently found that hilarious. “Wait! No, fine, not that one, then. Man, you’re difficult to please.”
“That depends on where you lick me.”
Silence, for a beat.
“I’m suddenly very, very hard,” he admitted. “That’s quite the talent you have, there. And, just for clarity, I’ll gladly lick you anywhere, and I’m very much looking forward to licking you in my - sorry, our - place tomorrow.”
“I admire the enthusiasm,” I said, smiling. He wasn’t the only one hard at the prospect, though I wasn’t planning to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. “Do you want to get a drink with Kyle and Catherine tonight?”
“You’d share your besties with me? I’m honored.”
It was close enough to the sentiment Catherine had voiced that I blushed at the memory.
They were both only joking, I knew that, but all the same it was a reminder of just how segmented my life had become.
Dismantling some of those boundaries was scary, but I wanted to believe I’d feel happier at the end of it.
“I make no promises as to how polite they’ll be. You know my friends are practically feral.”
“Consider me forewarned and excited,” Flynn said. “Are you on your way home now?”
“Why, did you miss me?”
“Yes.”
It came out so quickly, so bluntly - none of the playful teasing, or flirting, that I was enjoying getting used to - that I blinked in surprise. Wrong-footed, and left with only honesty myself.
“I missed you, too.”
I could hear him breathing, just slightly, over the faint digital static.
“I was worried today, that I was rushing you,” he admitted, finally. “Forcing you into decisions that you weren’t ready to make.”
“Funny, the Flynn I remember from today was half-naked in my store.”
He grunted. “I am a man of multitudes, Oli.”
“Clearly.” I knew he’d be able to hear the smile in my tone. “I don’t feel rushed. Or, at least, not by you, and not in a bad way. More in a ‘it’s about fucking time you did something new’ way.”
“And I get to be the new thing.”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “One of them, anyway. An important one.”
“That makes me really happy to hear,” Flynn said, sounding sincere. “Thank you, pretty dick.”
“Asshole,” I said, choking down a laugh, and stabbed at the screen to end the call.
#
My parents were looking at me strangely, and it was starting to freak me out.
Usually we coexisted like, well, roommates.
I could see how, by a lot of people’s standards, the idea of heading into my late-twenties and still living at home might be weird.
A red flag, even. Only it’d never felt that way: they knew I had a life of my own, and I got the reassurance of being able to check in on them without it seeming forced.
Something had changed that dynamic, though, and it was impossible not to conclude it was the conversation they’d had with Flynn and me the previous night.
It started with shared glances, the two of them side-eyeing each other like gossipy high-schoolers.
Escalating to whispers and stares that were quickly aborted just as soon as I caught them.
Until - feeling like there’d been some strange role-reversal, and me forced to be the adult in the room - I stopped, with my hands on my hips, and demanded an explanation.
“What’s going on?”
My mom giggled. Actually giggled.
I fixed her with a glare, then shifted it to my dad. His expression looked positively giddy, though it was clear from his quivering cheeks that he was trying to hide quite how entertained he felt. “Well?”
He shrugged, still smiling. “You were whistling.”
I frowned. “What?”
He cast a glance at my mom, who promptly giggled again, before looking back to me. “You were walking around, grinning and whistling. And your mom and I thought it was cute.”
“Cute.”
Mom nudged me in the shoulder. “Oh, come on, don’t be a sourpuss. We’re happy for you, is all. Lord knows it’s been long enough since we saw you this relaxed.”
Suddenly it felt like I was the one on the spot, and I was beginning to regret bringing any of this up. “I’ve been relaxed,” I protested.
“Not like you seem now,” my dad said. “There’s been a wall there for so long. You’ve been loving, and involved, and considerate, but always with a...”
“Reserve,” mom supplied. “A sense of reserve. And I don’t think we really noticed quite how much that distance had changed things, until we saw you today.”
“It feels like we got our son back,” my dad concluded. “Our Oliver.”
I chewed the edge of my tongue, until I could be sure of speaking without my voice quavering. “Got me back, just in time for me to leave.”
My mom snorted, waving her hand dismissively. “You’ll be a few hours away, so what. A few hours away, but happy.” She leaned on the word, eyes widening in punctuation. “That’s what’s important.”
My dad patted my arm. “So, when are you seeing Flynn, then?”
“Uh, tonight. We’re meeting up with Catherine and Kyle.”
He chuckled. “Tell him to give as good as he gets. Those two can be vicious.”
“Practically feral,” I said, distantly. Remembering what I’d warned my boyfriend about earlier, on the phone.
Dad smiled again. “They’ll be happy for you, just like we are.”
I nodded, because nodding was all I could do. My voice just wasn’t trustworthy any more.