Chapter 31
Julian
I found a bakery. I’d thought about baking her another cake, but that would take too long, and every second she spent alone with the echo of my words was another second I’d failed her.
My parents showed me what love looks like, but Elara only knew what a cage looked like.
To her, the whole world was a series of bars.
I had to build a wider sky. I had to let her breathe in it. If I was going to keep her, it had to be because she chose to stay—not because she felt cornered by my desperation.
When I slipped back into the bedroom twenty minutes later, the lights were still off. She was a small, still shape in the center of the bed, the blankets pulled tight around her like armor. I set the small, white box on her nightstand.
“Lemon-blueberry,” I said quietly. “With the cream cheese frosting you like.”
She didn’t move.
I sat on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping under my weight.
I didn’t touch her; I didn't want my hands to feel like another set of shackles. “I was wrong,” I said to the dark. “When you said it was too soon, I didn’t hear caution, Elara. I heard a no. I heard you slipping away from me, and it terrified me. I reacted like a child because the thought of losing you—after finally having you—felt like someone was tearing my ribs open from the inside.”
I heard a soft, wet sniff from beneath the blankets.
“You can have all the time you need,” I whispered. “A month. A year. However long it takes for you to just be you. To wake up and decide what you want without the ghost of an obligation in the room.”
I finally reached out, letting my fingers brush the tear-damp hair at her temple. “I will be here. As the man who loves you. As the man who is so damn proud of you for wanting that space, he can barely stand it.”
The blankets shifted. She turned, her face pale and ravaged by tears in the faint city light. Her lower lip trembled.
“I love you,” she choked out. “It’s only ever been you. I just… I need to walk to you on my own two feet. Not run to you because I'm fleeing something else. Not have you carry me across a finish line I didn't earn.”
My heart cracked clean open. I gathered her into my arms, sheets and all, and pulled her against my chest. She came willingly, burying her face in the crook of my neck, her body shaking with silent, cathartic sobs.
“Then walk, sweetheart,” I murmured into her hair, rocking her gently. “I’m not going anywhere. The road is yours. I’ll be waiting at the end of it.” I paused, kissing her forehead. “With cupcakes.”
She let out a watery, hiccupping sound that was almost a laugh.