All That She Needs: The Betrayal of a Marriage

Part 26 Asha

I hadn't visited Aiden's office in so many months.

Especially since I knew that she'd be there, I couldn't bring myself to go. And the last time I had an unannounced visit, I came face to face with the girl Aiden was having an affair with, who stared at me with wide, fearful eyes, like a deer caught in a headlight. I was much taller than her, and it satisfied me to look down while she quivered in fear. We exchanged glances for a brief, powerful moment. And in those few seconds, she realized I knew.

My eyes said , I know you know what my husband looked like naked.

Her eyes said, oh shit, I think she knows I know what her husband looked like naked.

And most importantly, she also knew that I was only seconds away from stabbing one of her fucking doe's eyes with my Louboutin's heel.

She opened Aiden's office door for me, glancing nervously at my husband, who stood behind his desk looking equally unsettled, as if seeking protection. I leaned down to her and whispered, "He won't protect you, dear. Not when he needs to protect himself from me."

Her face went white as a sheet. Her hand shook as she gripped the door handle and quietly closed it behind me.

Then I swiveled to the side and smiled at my lying, cheating asshole of a husband. "She's lovely, isn't she?" I moseyed across the room, then sat in the chair across from him. "All boobs and ass. Big eyes. Gullible face." I clunk my tongue. "But not your type, right?"

Aiden shook his head slowly, looking so tense, like a rubber band about to snap. He swallowed hard. "You're my type."

"Yes. I knew that." Then I glared at him. "There's nothing I should worry about, right?"

He swallowed again. "Of course not."

"Hey, are you not going to kiss me?" I fake pouted. He should have known that there was something wrong with me because I never pouted. I glared. I cursed. I yelled. But I never pout.

Like there was lightning striking him, he jumped from his seat and rounded the table. He cradled my face with both hands before he leaned down and gave me a long, deep kiss that was a little sloppy and jittery from trying too hard. "Hi," his gaze softened, smiling fondly as he looked at me. Although he was fucking another woman, Aiden still adored me. I remember wondering, How does he do it? Living a double life, lying constantly—how could he manage that? I always knew Aiden was smart, very smart. But I hadn't realized his brain had the capacity to hold so many lies. Wouldn't he worry he'd forget what he was lying about? Or maybe, at some point, he just didn't care anymore.

And then I realized too late that those luscious lips that had just kissed me were probably kissing her a few minutes before. I suddenly wanted to throw up. Or washed my mouth with bleach.

This visit, even though somewhat different from the last, I still found his assistant staring at me with wide eyes. I tilted my head to the side, a bit confused. "Sean, right?" The guy was still staring and didn't respond. As if seeing my face rendered him utterly stupid. "I'm Asha."

I offered my hand, and his gaze fell to it, before he looked up again and snapped out of his daze. "Umm... sorry. I apologize. You're just so beautiful. Yes. I'm Sean. Pleasure to meet you, Asha." he rambled nervously, quickly accepting the handshake. I smiled at him. He's cute. "Aiden is waiting for you in his office."

"Thank you." I gave him a nod. He walked ahead to open the door for me. When I stepped inside, Aiden wasn't hiding behind his big mahogany desk like he had last time. Instead, he practically flew across the room, pulling me into a bear hug that not only startled me but also shocked the hell out of Sean.

"I miss you." Aiden rambled against my neck, tightening his arms around me. The soft click behind me told me that Sean had left the room. "You're here."

"Let me go, Aiden," I grumbled, trying to wiggle my way out of his big arms. "I didn't come here for this."

His sigh warmed my neck before he finally let go. "But you're here," he said softly. "I was hoping you came because you missed me."

I rubbed my forehead in frustration and let out a long exhale. "Let's sit down. I need to sit down." I walked toward the seating area, where two sets of brown leather sofas—which probably cost as much as a car—sat under the large windows overlooking the lake behind the building. The lake sat on the property which the company privately owned. It suddenly hit me: Aiden's office had the perfect location. Secluded. Even with the floor-to-ceiling windows, no one could see the inside unless they were illegally sailing on a boat, parked right in front of the building, peering through binoculars up to the 21st floor where Aiden's office was. How the fuck it never occurred to me right until this moment.

I turned to him, disgust curling in my chest. "Tell me, Aiden."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

Ugh. "Where in this room you haven't fucked her? That's where I'll sit."

The color drained from his face. And as expected, he didn't know how to answer me.

"I guess the answer is none." I sighed. That disgust swirling in my chest morphed into pain. My heart hurt all over again. "Forget it. You probably fucked her on top of that side table, even though it's the size of my purse."

Feeling defeated, I stomped away and chose one of the sofas. Unluckily for me, both were three-seaters, so, of course, Aiden sat next to me. He looked at me warily but was unable to say a thing.

My eyes scanned the room as my thoughts spiraled. "I remember the last time I was here. She was standing right there, looking at me with so much fear, like someone was caught stealing. Well, she did steal my husband. I was certain she was feeling intimidated by me. And for a brief moment, I felt a twisted sense of power over her."

Aiden took my hand, and I let him. He squeezed a little as if he wanted to draw strength, and I didn't know if it was for me or if it was for himself. "But then, that guilt in her eyes... it suddenly hit me with a different level of pain. It suddenly became real. And I wasn't ready to accept it. Much later, I realized too late that the feeling of power was just a joke. I was embarrassing myself. From the beginning, she had won. And I lost."

"Asha," His voice was small. Laden with shame. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry. And please shut the fuck up." I snapped, pulling my hand from his grip. "Let me get this out of my chest."

"Okay." He sounded dejected and rubbed his face with both hands.

"I couldn't understand why her. Honestly, I saw nothing special about her. She was pretty sure. She has curves, sure. But there was nothing outstanding about her. So, I thought, it must be the sex. She was young. Twenty-five, right? Must be so nice. Especially compared to this old woman." I pointed at myself.

"But then I was wrong again. That kind of obsession you had with her could not be just because of sex. It's because you really loved her. That young girl, who seemed unremarkable to me, could turn your world entirely upside down. Because to you, she was everything. It gave me a new perspective about myself. And I saw myself in a different light. All my success, all my attempts to make you happy, were all fucking pointless. I was simply not enough. It ruined my self-esteem, you know. To this day, I'm still working on getting it back."

Aiden didn't respond this time. But his knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the sofa tightly.

"I cried every night you came home late, Aiden. Every time you went away on a business trip. Or business dinner. Every time you hid yourself in your office so you could call her, because you just couldn't stop missing her. I knew you were lying. I knew you rushed to her every time you had a chance. Over time, I became numb. I could compartmentalize what to feel and what not to. And I just... let you be. Somehow, I convinced myself that as long as you came back to me, that would be enough." I rested my head on the back of the sofa and looked at him. My hand reached up to cup his cheek, the stubble prickling my palm nicely. I always loved the feeling. I loved it when he left his stubble enough for me to run my hands through it. "I loved you that much."

His eyes were full of self-hatred and guilt. He whispered, "It's not past tense, Asha. You still love me. And I love you. We can still be together."

"I do love you." I gave him a small smile. I would not deny that. "I don't think I'll ever stop. But that doesn't mean it's what I want."

"What do you want, Ash?" I could sense the fear in his voice. His jaw locked tight, and the muscles in his arms tightened. He was probably reluctant to ask, but he knew he needed to know the answer.

"I want to be strong again, Aiden. I want to go back to being the woman I was before all of this. I need to set an example for Chloe. Just because we're women, and yes, we're soft, doesn't mean we let anyone walk all over us. We deserve someone who supports us, respects us, loves us and only us. I want her to know she should never settle for anything less."

I paused, taking a moment to gather myself. "As for Kayden, I hope he learns what a real partnership looks like. Where both people support each other, not just take or settle. He's seen a terrible example in us, and I want him to be more careful in choosing who he gives his heart to. Knowing that there are strong women like his mother, his sister, out there—women he shouldn't mess with or take for granted."

I framed his face with both hands, wishing I could wipe away the devastation and guilt written all over it. But he needed to hear this. I wasn't saying it to hurt him. This was just the plain, raw truth. "Oh, Aiden." My heart broke seeing the weariness so deeply profound on his face. I leaned over and kissed his lips gently, briefly. His eyes fluttered closed. "That's why I have to do this. Not just for me, but for them, too."

"Asha, please." He dropped his head, his hands clutching my wrists that were cradling his face. He had already guessed what I was about to say.

I pulled away from him, needing the distance as otherwise I wouldn't have the strength to speak. "My lawyer will serve you the divorce papers. I will not change my mind, Aiden. And I'm not asking for much. Just the house we live in now, and for you to keep our children's trust fund and inheritance exactly as it is. Even if you have another child someday, you'll need to work around that without touching what Kayden and Chloe have already been promised."

Aiden was silent. A flash of real, raw hurt crossed his face. He took it like a blow he saw coming, but still wasn't ready for. I took a deep breath. "As for custody, I will not take the kids away from you. I know how much you love them; they also need their father. We'll work out joint custody, but whether they want to see you—that's going to be up to them."

"You can have everything I have, Asha. All our houses, all the money I have in the bank, even this company..." Aiden's hand trembled as he covered his mouth, shaking his head. "I'll give up everything, just to have you and our children with me."

"Your children aren't going anywhere, Aiden." I forced a faint smile even as my eyes burned with unshed tears. "I'm not going anywhere either."

"But you will not be mine anymore."

"No. But our lives will always be tied together. We have our kids."

He softly grazed my cheek with his knuckles and let out a long breath. "You know it's not the same."

"Yeah," I said sadly. "It's not."

"I'm sorry." Aiden began to sob quietly, covering his face with trembling hands. "I'm so sorry."

I sighed. "Saying sorry won't change anything, Aiden. You've said it enough. The only thing you can do now is prove yourself to the kids. Earn their respect again. Show them how much you love them."

"Asha, sweetheart." he shook his head, dropping his hands to look at me. His beautiful golden eyes flare with torment. "How can you still be so good to me? You should punch me, kick me, curse at me. I deserve the worst. I know I do. You have every reason to leave me. But I still love you. Stay with me. Please, Asha."

"I can't," I replied after a painful pause.

"Oh, God." He leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "It hurts so much."

Aiden looked so defeated that I wanted to hold him. I still loved him, but I knew I couldn't be with him anymore. It was just as heartbreaking for me as it was for him. I scooted closer, resting my head on his chest and flattening my palm over his heartbeat like I'd done so many times before. I looked up at him.

"It's difficult for me too, Aiden," I said quietly. "I'm still angry, but I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I'm not doing this to hurt you. It's just... too much damage has been done. It's impossible to go back."

"I know," he said softly. "And it's all my fault. But I'm not giving up, Asha." His gaze hardened with resolve. "I won't stop trying."

"Aiden, do it for the kids. But not for me. It's too late."

"It's never too late," he mumbled, his hand gently caressing my back.

"I don't understand, Aiden." I pulled away, suddenly frustrated. I searched his eyes. "I thought you'd leave me and run to her the first chance you got. I'm now giving you a way out and you're saying you want me back? Is it because she's engaged?" Dennis had told me a few days ago, and after hearing it, I asked my lawyer to speed things up. I didn't want Aiden staying with me out of obligation or because he thought he had no other option. I refused to be his second choice. But at the same time, I wanted him to be happy. If she could give him that, I wanted him to have it, to go after her. I knew it was foolish, but my love for him was that deep—enough to let him go if it meant he'd find the happiness I couldn't give him.

Aiden turned to me, now the one confused. "You know everything, don't you? Who told you?"

"Not important. Just answer me."

"Asha," He sighed. "If that's what I really want, do you think her being engaged would stop me?" his knuckles grazing my cheek. "You know me better than that, Asha."

"Then why?"

"Because I've set my priorities straight. It's you and the kids." Aiden sounded calm and certain when he answered. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I still couldn't.

"But you love her."

"I love you." He whispered, as he pushed my hair back behind my ear.

"No, Aiden." I shook my head, pushing myself away, suddenly needing distance. I was so frustrated with him. I couldn't understand him. "I don't get it. You were obsessed with her. I've never seen you like that—not even with me. You were so wrapped up in her you ignored everything else. And now, just like that, you've changed your mind?"

He looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness. "I was hurting you so much, wasn't I?" he murmured, avoiding my question. His hands gently reached out, cupping my cheeks. "I understand if you can't forgive me. I wouldn't blame you. But I promise, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to earn it. I won't stop, no matter how long it takes. Trust me on that."

His hands felt like they were burning me, so I turned my head away. I couldn't believe I was about to say this, but I had to. "Go find your happiness, Aiden. Go to her."

"How many times do I have to say it?" He sounded exasperated. "My happiness is with you. I'm probably a little too late to realize that, but I've learned my lesson. I lost sight of what really matters, and I won't make that mistake again."

"Don't be a martyr, Aiden. I don't want you to stay out of obligation or guilt. It hurts my pride, and I hate that."

"Why do you want to push me to her so bad, Asha?" He suddenly snapped. "Is there someone else in your life now? Liam, is it? Do I need to remind you we haven't officially divorced yet?"

I gaped at him in disbelief, knowing that he was referring to the text message from Liam he saw last time. But I couldn't believe he was accusing me of cheating when he was the one who was having an affair for months! "Liam is a friend. That's all he is right now, and that's all you need to know. But don't you dare accuse me of cheating? I never cheated on you, no matter how many temptations come my way."

Aiden's expression shifted, a mix of regret and frustration in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know I don't have the right to question you, but I'm struggling with all of this. I'm genuinely trying to regain your trust, but it feels like you keep pushing me toward her, and I don't understand why."

"Because there's no reconciliation for us, Aiden. Don't you get it? We're too broken, and I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if you'll betray me again. I wouldn't be able to move past that." I sighed brokenly. "Aiden, you love her, and maybe it's true that you love me, too. But you never needed me like you needed her. Not until you realize I'm going to leave you."

"Oh, Asha." He groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I don't know how else to make you believe me."

"I want to find my own happiness, Aiden, don't you see? I deserve it." I said quietly, feeling tears well up despite myself. I hated it. I was determined not to be weak, and I had promised myself I wouldn't cry.

"I'll make you happy, Asha," he promised, lifting his head to meet my eyes. He looked so determined, so sure. "I promise."

"Can you?" I asked softly. "Tell me, Aiden, do you still love her?"

He shook his head, but his voice faltered. "I keep telling you I love you. I really do. I never stopped, Asha."

"Then why did you have an affair with her? Why the obsession?"

"I don't know..." He hesitated, his gaze falling to the floor as he searched for the right words. "I was lost... And she... she captivated me. Do you really want to hear this, Asha?" Aiden's frustration was clear, and he seemed on the verge of losing his patience. My question had clearly unsettled him. "I don't want to hurt you."

I swallowed hard, my heart sinking. For him, not wanting to hurt me was an answer on its own. But I needed to hear it, regardless. "Explain to me, Aiden. I need to hear why I wasn't enough."

His eyes met mine, full of regret. "It was never about you not being enough, Asha. I was the one who messed up. I let myself get lost in the wrong things. None of it was worth losing you. I know it's fucking late, but I see it now."

I took a deep breath, trying to hold back the storm of emotions brewing inside me. "But you haven't denied that you kept choosing her over me. You haven't denied that you still love her. How am I supposed to move forward with you, knowing you love someone else more than me? I'm so scared that you will regret it, and you'll resent me."

"I don't love her more than I love you." He said quietly, with confidence I wanted so hard to believe. "And I'm not lying, Asha. That's the truth."

"But still, you love her. You can't even bring yourself to say that you don't love her anymore." My words were clipped. I felt so much pain.

"Asha," His jaw clenched, fighting hard to keep his emotions in check. "We keep circling back to that no matter what I said. I honestly don't know what else to say to you."

"Maybe there's nothing left to say." I stood slowly and headed for the door, not looking back, quietly crying where he couldn't see. I couldn't take this anymore. I had to leave. "We're getting a divorce, Aiden. That's final."

When I stepped outside his office, Sean was waiting, standing behind his desk. "I have the ladies' room at the back there, secured for you if you want to freshen up. There's a no service sign at the door, so you should be fine," he said softly, a small, sad smile on his lips. "I thought you might need it."

"Oh, Sean," I exhaled heavily. " If only it was you sitting at that desk last year."