Chapter 16 #2
Darcy’s mind was a mixture of troubling suppositions and conjectures by the time they arrived at the door. There was nothing to do now but face the situation head-on. More than anything, he wanted Elizabeth. Only a wedding ring on her finger will impede my quest to capture her heart.
Mr. Darcy at Longbourn! In spite of the generosity he had bestowed toward her family, Elizabeth would never have suspected such a thing.
Endeavouring to see how he behaved before jumping to conclusions that might give rise to expectations, Elizabeth said as little to either of the gentlemen as civility would allow.
Instead, she sat down to her work, with an eagerness which it did not often command.
She ventured only one glance at Mr. Darcy.
He looks serious, as usual, but what should I expect after our last meeting in Kent? He has never been known for his joviality and affability. Perhaps Mama’s attitude contributes to his reserve. Elizabeth sighed. As painful as is the conjecture, it is not improbable.
Bingley, she had likewise espied for an instant, and in that short period saw him looking both pleased and embarrassed.
He was received by Mrs. Bennet with a degree of civility which made both Jane and Elizabeth ashamed, especially when contrasted with the cold and ceremonious politeness of her curtsey and address to his friend.
Mama’s designs for Mr. Bingley are as blatant as her disdain for Mr. Darcy.
Elizabeth, particularly, who knew that her mother owed to the latter the preservation of her favourite daughter from irremediable infamy, was hurt and distressed to a most painful degree by a distinction so ill applied.
How embarrassing was the unseemly spectacle.
Mr. Darcy went through such great lengths to bring about the happiness of which my mama so proudly boasts while treating him abdominally.
Rather than dwell upon the shocking display unfolding before her, Elizabeth thought of those parts of the letter from her aunt she had committed to memory.
They met several times, for there was much to be discussed.
Wickham of course wanted more than he could get, but at length was reduced to be reasonable.
Everything being settled between them, Mr. Darcy’s next step was to make your uncle acquainted with it, and he first called in Gracechurch Street one afternoon when I was out.
Mr. Gardiner could not be seen. On further inquiry, Mr. Darcy found that your father was still with him, but would quit town the next morning.
He did not judge your father to be a person whom he could so properly consult as your uncle, and therefore, readily postponed seeing him till after the departure of the former.
He did not leave his name, and till the next day it was only known that a gentleman had called on business.
Mr. Darcy was punctual in his return, and as Lydia informed you, attended the wedding.
He dined with us the next day. Will you be very angry with me, my dear Lizzy, if I take this opportunity of saying how much I like him?
His behaviour to us has, in every respect, been agreeable.
His understanding and opinions all please me; he wants nothing but a little more liveliness, and that, if he marry prudently, his wife may teach him.
I thought him very sly. He hardly ever mentioned your name. But slyness seems the fashion.
The passage from her aunt’s letter that kept beckoning her attention summoned once more.
I always supposed Mr. Darcy held you in high regard judging by his having accompanied his sister when she visited you here in Cheapside.
I never truly realised the extent of his esteem.
How different our next trip to Derbyshire shall be.
Dare I hope my next visit to Pemberley finds me on intimate acquaintance with its new mistress?
Now I must beg one thing of you, my dearest niece. Do not keep me in suspense. Will I soon be wishing you joy?
How ironic that her aunt would presume Mr. Darcy had acted on the basis of some understanding between the two of them when nothing could be further from the truth.
She could bear it no longer. Elizabeth’s seeing Mr. Darcy for the first time since their argument in Kent and the rest of the family’s seeing him for the first time since the Meryton assembly must surely have been a shock to them all.
No one more than Elizabeth. But while her sisters had regarded him with decency, her mother was determined to give offense.
Overcome with embarrassment by her mother’s behaviour as well as shame over the memory of the last time she saw him in Kent, Elizabeth raced from the room.
Soon thereafter, the sound of tentative footsteps interrupted Elizabeth’s reverie. Before she even knew what she was about, he spoke.
“Miss Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth jumped. The burden of the shame she suffered pursuant to her accusations against Mr. Darcy weighed heavily on her, and especially now that the two of them stood face to face. “Mr. Darcy.”
“Pardon me for startling you. You quitted the room so abruptly. I cannot help but consider it is my fault. Perhaps I should not have come.”
“No—no. I welcome your presence. It is just my mama. I feel I should apologise for her behaviour just then.”
Darcy held up his hand. “No. I should apologise to you for the appalling manner of my proposal.” He took a step closer to Elizabeth. “How can I make amends?”
The rustle of skirts drew their attention towards the path.
Through a light cloud of dust, Elizabeth discerned her mother’s approach.
“There you are, Lizzy. Mr. Bingley and Jane wish to have a walk to Oakham Mount.” Mrs. Bennet tucked her hair behind her ear and gestured to Elizabeth to walk a few feet away from the gentleman by her side.
“Elizabeth, I beg your pardon, but you simply must accompany Jane and Mr. Bingley, and I am afraid to say you must walk with Mr. Darcy. Mary and Kitty will not spare the time. As Jane’s dearest sister, the burden of entertaining Mr. Bingley’s friend falls to you. ”
Elizabeth said nothing, but her mother must have read in her silence some discomfort. Mrs. Bennet lowered her voice. “I know how you dislike him. You know I would not ask unless it was absolutely necessary. I believe Mr. Bingley will propose to Jane again. You must allow them a bit of privacy.”
When the party set out for their walk, Elizabeth could not account for the swell of emotions spiralling inside her.
She and Mr. Darcy strolled side-by-side, but they may as well have been miles apart.
There was so much she wanted to say to him.
She knew enough about her walking companion to surmise she had better take the initiative.
“How does Georgiana get along? She must think very poorly of me for not having replied to her last missive.”
“Georgiana is exceedingly well. She sends her regards.”
Elizabeth released a sigh of relief. Mr. Darcy had not allowed this incident with her sister or her own harsh rejection of his marriage proposal to impede Elizabeth’s friendship with his sister.
Perhaps there was some hope after all. “I will attend to my lapse by writing to her as soon as I return to the house.”
“I know Georgiana will enjoy nothing more than a letter from you, Miss Elizabeth.”
Glancing over her shoulder, Elizabeth noticed Mr. Bingley and Jane had allowed Mr. Darcy and her to outstrip them.
Elizabeth had resolved she would speak with Mr. Darcy on the matter weighing heaviest on her mind.
Now was the moment for her to carry out her resolution.
Her courage high, she immediately said, “Mr. Darcy, how shall I thank you for your extraordinary kindness to my poor sister, Lydia? Ever since I learnt of all you did on her behalf, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how grateful I am. Were the rest of my family aware of your benevolence, I am certain they would be equally appreciative.”
Darcy clasped his hands behind his back. “I am sorry if the discovery of my involvement was disquieting. That was never my intention. I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted.”
“You must not blame my aunt. Lydia’s thoughtlessness first betrayed that you had been concerned in the matter. I simply could not rest until I knew the particulars.”
“The Gardiners are fine, upstanding people. Based upon all that I have come to know about them, I suspect your uncle would never have yielded to my assistance if he had not given me credit for another interest in the affair.”
“Yes. My aunt told me as much in her letter. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for the generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications for the sake of discovering my sister.”
“When I learned of Wickham’s misdeeds, how could I do otherwise?”
“But the degradation you suffered, the expense you incurred, and to say nothing of having to associate with the man who would be your worst enemy.”
“Surely you must know I did it all for you. The truth is I believe I would do anything for you. I have long supposed that to be the case. If I may, I believe I must date the forming of that resolve to the night I first beheld you on the dance floor at the Thurston’s ball, but it would be a long time before I confessed it to anyone—including myself. ”
“If I am to be completely honest, then I would have to confess to a long-standing and an undeclared fascination for you as well, but if I told you how it came about you might think ill of me.”
“Me think ill of you? I believe that is impossible, Miss Elizabeth.”
“Now surely you were unimpressed that I was so readily persuaded of Mr. Wickham’s goodness?”