Chapter 34
MOST ARDENTLY
Having endeavored for so long to erase the memories of the way he looked, the sound of his deep melodic voice, his brooding stare, and more importantly, all the feelings such recollections engendered in her, the sight of Mr. Darcy stole Elizabeth’s breath away.
Over the past few hours, she had resigned herself to their eventual meeting face to face, but she had supposed she had days before finding herself suffering such a prospect. Now she was walking along beside him through the halls of Netherfield.
Entering the room behind Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy closed the door. After a moment, he threw a quick glance about the dimly lit library. “This is a nice room.”
“It certainly has the potential to be,” said Elizabeth in reference to the wealth of empty space and the scarcity of books among the wall shelves.
“Charles often speaks of his desire to make it one of the finest libraries in all the county.” She bit her lower lip while searching for something else to say.
Finding her voice, she continued, “Although even he will allow that his library will be nothing in comparison to the library at Pemberley. I understand it has been the makings of many generations.”
Darcy nodded. “Indeed.” Closing some of the distance between them, he said, “Thank you for agreeing to speak with me in privacy.”
Any chance for conversation ceased as the clock struck midnight; perfectly in tune with Elizabeth’s heartbeat. At length, she said, “It seems we were meant to be here before—that is to say, in circumstances much like this.”
“I apologize for the way things unfolded at Pemberley. I know this is hardly a worthy excuse, but I have recently discovered that there were those in our party who actively conspired against the two of us, quite effectively as it turned out.”
“Who?” Elizabeth exclaimed with energy. Just as quickly she said, “Or do I even have to ask? Who else would take the trouble of wreaking havoc of any such sort, other than Caroline Bingley?” Not that Lady Catherine de Bourgh did not also come to Elizabeth’s mind, but accusing one of the gentleman’s own relations did not seem like the thing to do.
“You are correct. It is Caroline Bingley of whom I speak. Although, she did not act alone. She had a very willing accomplice.”
“Her sister? Mrs. Hurst?” Elizabeth replied with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
Darcy shook his head. “George Wickham!”
“Mr. Wickham?” Taken aback by this revelation, Elizabeth stepped away from Mr. Darcy.
“I rather suspect that gentleman garnered your good opinion while you were in Derbyshire, which must certainly affect your reaction to what I am about to tell you. However, I beg you to listen to all I have to say before coming to any sort of conclusion. Indeed, what I am about to tell you is entirely Wickham’s own testimony. ”
“I am listening,” she replied, still somewhat bothered by his belief that Wickham meant more to her than he did.
“First, the letter you received presumably from me was, in fact, penned by Wickham.”
“Mr. Wickham?”
“Indeed. I received a letter that fateful evening as well—presumably from you—telling me you never wished to see me again for reasons—well let me say the reasons stated were sufficient to persuade me that you had indeed written the words.”
“I wrote no such letter,” Elizabeth declared.
“I know—what I mean is, I know now. At the time I received the letter, I allowed it more credence than I ought to have.”
“As did I with respect to the letter I received,” she said, her voice filled with a measure of uncertainty mixed with regret. Lowering her arms and likewise her guard, she continued, “What could Mr. Wickham have hoped to gain in poisoning our minds against each other?”
“Plain and simple, he was motivated by greed, and he acted under a powerful inducement.”
“Caroline—”
“—Caroline offered him a hefty reward to do her bidding in sowing seeds of discord between us and keeping the two of us apart. When she reneged on the terms of the final payment, citing her inability to obtain the full amount as previously agreed to and on Wickham’s hastened schedule, no less, he brought his sorry tale to me with the intention of collecting a large payoff. ”
He went on to give her a thorough accounting of the nefarious events of the evening as told to him by his former friend. Elizabeth listened. She colored. She stared.
At length, she said, “I confess to feeling rather foolish, sir.”
“Foolish?”
“You always said Mr. Wickham was not to be trusted, as did your cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam. Having seen no overly compelling evidence for myself, I negated your advice in deference to my own prejudice. I ought never to have done that.”
“You must not blame yourself. Wickham has such happy manners. He is always making friends wherever he goes. Even my own father, may he rest in peace, was blind to Wickham’s faults.”
“Still, I cannot help but feel ashamed.”
“Then may the subject of George Wickham never cross either of our lips again.” As though realizing he had forgone all the usual civilities that seeing Elizabeth for the first time since she left Pemberley entailed, Darcy said, “Pray how is your family—your father?”
Elizabeth assured Mr. Darcy that all was well until further talk on the matter was no longer necessary. Endeavoring to inquire on the gentleman’s family, she asked, “How does your sister get along? I pray she does not continue to suffer too severely.”
“I believe Georgiana gets along better and better with each passing day. She remains with our uncle and aunt in Matlock.”
“Does that mean you have been all alone these past months—at Pemberley?”
“Yes—for all intents and purposes, which is largely part of the reason I was so pleased when my friend Bingley wrote to me, asking me to come to Hertfordshire.”
“I understand you are here to help him with matters regarding the management of the estate.”
“I suppose that is the official line, but in truth, my purpose is of a more selfish nature.”
“Oh?”
“Indeed. The true reason I am here is to see you. I had to come as soon as I learned the truth. I needed to say the words that I have longed to say to you—the words I meant to say when you were at Pemberley.”
Darcy moved closer to Elizabeth, erasing any remaining distance between them. “When we last talked on the day before you left my home, I spoke to you of destiny. I asked you to wait for me. You do recall, do you not?”
Her eyes told him that she did, which was sufficient encouragement for him to continue his speech.
“You are too generous to trifle with me. I pray you will tell me that my being here is not in vain. I pray you will tell me at once—have I a chance? Tell me the wounds inflicted by Miss Bingley’s poison pen did not cut so deeply that all hope for something meaningful between the two of us is gone.”
The silence that accompanied Elizabeth’s warm smile encouraged Darcy to take her by the hand. Raising it to his lips, he bestowed a lingering kiss. “Elizabeth,” he began at length. Turning her hand over, he kissed her palm.
“I hope you do not find what I am about to say too forward, even untoward. What I have to say is so very important. I do not want to waste another moment of my life without telling you.” He kissed her hand again and then gazed into her eyes.
“I love you—most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage.”
“Mr. Darcy, I—I do not quite know what to say.”
“Say yes.”
“But—but what do the two of us really know about each other?” Elizabeth cried.
“Do you not think you ought to wait until you have had the pleasure of meeting the rest of my family—my mama, my three younger sisters, Mary, Kitty, and Lydia, and even my aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Phillips and my aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, before committing yourself in such a manner. I assure you that except for the latter two, my relations are nothing at all like my papa and my sister Jane.”
Gathering both her hands in his and resting them on his chest, Darcy said, “I very much wish to meet all your family, to spend time with them, and to get to know each and every one of them in their turn. But I assure you that whatever the result of such familial engagements, it will change nothing. From this day forward, I wish never to be parted from you again.”
“With so many uncertainties, how can you possibly be so confident?”
“My love, ever since I learned the truth, I have thought of little else other than the possibility of the two of us sharing our lives as one. By reason, by reflection, by everything, I mean for this to be my last day on Earth without you.”