Chapter Four #4
“You’re being selfish, and I’ll be the first one to tell you that.
I love you, but get the hell off that high horse and stop being a dick to the man because he’s had a kinkier past than you.
I had a kinkier past than Ethan, and he’s learning so he can view it from my perspective.
Will is giving up his life for you, so the least you can do is not sentence him to a sexless existence because you’re not ready or because you want to judge his past! ”
Corbin just stood there, dripping wet.
“Why are you neglecting him and punishing him because he had sex partners who did different things before you? That’s not like you, Corbin. You’re not a mean person, so why this now?”
That hit hard.
It really did.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It just…caught me off guard. Am I neglecting him?” he asked, hearing what Gene had said, and now, he was absorbing it.
He nodded.
“Corbin, he makes your food, and he takes you to doctor’s appointments.
When you were first hurt, he got your appointments to get your teeth fixed, and he stood by your side.
He was with you when the arm cast came off before you showed up here.
He’s giving and silently not complaining, but you’re going to bust his balls over who he had sex with before you?
That’s a foul. Stop being a bitch. You’re crucifying him for a past sex life while simultaneously taking away his future sex life. ”
Ouch.
That was hurtful and eye-opening all at the same time.
Gene said one last thing.
“Don’t be shocked when he reaches his breaking point because he keeps giving and you keep taking.
No one wants you to suffer because of what you’ve been through, but you don’t have to aim that anger at everyone because you don’t know how to work through it.
He still needs to know you are attracted to him.
When Ethan was assaulted, Corbin, I still had to be there and deal with it.
Yes, it's the opposite of what happened to you, but I still had to be ready to go when he was ready to go.”
He blinked and began processing everything.
His heart suddenly hurt.
“You will lose him if you stop fostering the relationship. He’s not your mommy.
Stop making him be the one who suffers because you can’t give a little to find a way to offer pleasure to the man.
At least try, and if it takes you back there, then stop—but you’re not even trying, and he sees that.
Mark my word, someone will come along who will give him what you can’t—or won’t.
If you won’t, someone else absolutely will. ”
With that, Gene turned, and jogged away. He caught up with Ethan and Will, done with Corbin. Yeah, he left him standing alone in the surf.
The good thing about the man was he would put two and two together to figure it out.
Eventually.
As for Will and Ethan, they were talking, and Will was trying to figure out this mess.
“I don’t know what more I can do,” Will said. “I didn’t do anything. I don’t touch him when he’s scared, and I am there when he wakes up frightened. I don’t know what I did wrong except have a past. We all have pasts, and I wouldn’t be angry at his.”
Ethan was calming him down.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s just testy. It’s our fault. We were just enjoying our vacation. I’ll put Tala away and just be Ethan. Then, he won’t get angry. We warned him, but I don’t think both can happen in the same space. We’ll stop for him.”
Oh, fuck no.
In fact, who the fuck was WE?
Gene was going to kill the man if Ethan shut down because he didn’t want to hurt Corbin ON THEIR VACATION—one that Corbin inserted himself on.
If Tala went bye-bye, Corbin was finding himself buried neck deep in the sand on a remote island filled with cannibals.
Trust.
And.
Believe.
“It’s okay, Will. I don’t mind. Right, Gene?” he asked, glancing over at him.
Gene sighed.
And there it was.
Well, there went his sexy submissive, sinking back down, and protective Ethan was back.
Goddamn it.
He’d worked all day to build up to this moment, and in ten minutes, Corbin managed to fuck his sex life, too.
What the bloody hell?
He was lucky he was a calm, patient man, or he’d dunk him in the ocean all over again.
Yeah, he was going to send Corbin to friendship jail in about two seconds.
“I guess,” Gene said, hating that he’d even been pulled into this.
Ethan tried to help Will.
“I’m sorry he’s upset,” Ethan said. “It wasn’t intentional. We were just being ourselves.”
Will didn’t want them to suffer with him.
“Please don’t censor yourselves. You guys were open and warned us both earlier. That’s on us, not on you. Maybe coming here was a bad idea for everyone. We’ll keep our distance. It’s not fair for you and Gene to have a miserable time on your well-deserved vacation.”
Well, at least Will was thinking straight. Gene appreciated that.
Will shrugged.
“I do miss my sex life, but I’m willing to let it go,” he said, trusting them with that.
“But I’m not willing to be the bad guy when I haven’t done anything wrong.
Yeah, I had a sex life before him that was kinkier, but he had one before me, too.
I wasn’t a virgin, and neither was he. It’s not like I said I was going back to my ex to get laid.
I didn’t say I missed the dirtier sex—only that it was a part of my past. I just don’t think I can win this one either way.
I didn’t think he’d get this angry with me. I’m so upset.”
That’s when they heard him.
“You’re right,” Corbin said from behind them. “That was a shit move on my behalf. The last thing I have a right to do is take shots at you for your past.”
They all stood in the surf that was crashing violently around their legs.
Corbin continued.
“That’s not fair, and I’m sorry. You’re right, Will. Your past is your past, and I’m not entitled to use it as a weapon in anger. I’m sorry I just hurt your feelings, and made you feel like you did something wrong. You didn’t. I’m sorry I judged all of you.”
Will stood there.
He was to the point.
“I’m trying, Corbin. We’re all trying. This isn’t easy for anyone, and they didn’t hand us a manual on how to deal with this.
We’re all trying our best, and now Gene and Ethan will have to censor their holiday because we’ve barged into it.
Maybe we should head home. They deserve downtime too.
They’ve been through a lot as they carried both of us so we could focus on your healing. ”
He was right.
Corbin had been a huge asshole, and he owed them all an apology.
“I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch to everyone here. I’m sorry that I’ve made this difficult,” Corbin said. “I’m also sorry that I’ve neglected your needs,” he offered. “That’s not fair.”
Will said nothing.
He let the man talk.
“Because I don’t want to have sex, doesn’t mean you don’t want to have sex.
I just got testy because I’m frustrated that I’m not the man I once was.
I’m anxious that I’ll never have an erection again, or want to be naked with you.
I got bitchy because I don’t know if I’ll ever be back, and that’s a lot to carry.
It’s terrifying that I might never find Corbin again. Every day, I feel hollow and lost.”
Yeah, Gene had been right.
At some point, Corbin would regain his common sense, and fix his mess.
“I watch all three of you be whole, and I don’t know how to be part of that.
I don’t know how to feel joy and peace. I don’t know how to feel worthy.
The best way I can explain it is when they hurt me, they tore me in half, and all joy and pleasure was left in that alley, and all that remains is confusion, anger, guilt, and hurt.
I’m a shell, and I don’t know how to fix that. ”
They all felt bad for him.
No one wished what happened to Corbin on their worst enemy. There was no doubt it would be a long road back.
“We don’t want you to go home,” Gene said.
He closed his eyes.
“I may not have a choice,” Corbin said. “If me being upset is going to make you guys targets, I’ll avoid you both.
It’s not that I don’t love you, but I’m jealous that you’re both whole.
I don’t want to be,” he admitted. “But I guess the bottom line is I will likely never have someone look at me like Ethan looks at you when you’re sharing these moments with him. I want to be me again, but he’s lost.”
Gene lifted his chin, so he was staring in his eyes.
“You’ll get back there, Corby. You will, but it’s only been weeks. This isn’t a quick-fix problem. You’ll have to work through it, and that takes time. We don’t care that you’re angry. We care who you point that at. That’s the bottom line. You can rage, but not at us. With us, yes.”
He took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry. Sometimes, I’m a lot of work.”
Yes, but nothing worth having was worth getting easily. Family stuck no matter what.
That was the bottom line.
“More times than not, I’d back down, Corbin.
Normally, I’d put our needs away to help you, but the well is dry, my dude.
We’re running on fumes. We need to recharge.
That’s me being completely honest with you—not because of you, but because we have rough jobs.
Ethan and I stand in people’s blood and deaths.
Sometimes, you need to go away, get it off your chest, and regroup.
If Ethan is going to shove Tala down for you, I have a problem with that.
We all love and care about you, but we’ve had a long five weeks too, Corbin.
You haven’t been fighting alone. We’ve been standing in front of you to protect you. ”
He was aware.
“Be yourselves and refill your wells because I need both of you,” he said. “I know I crossed a line, and I’ll fix it.”
He held out his hand, and Will put his in it.
Already, he could see the hesitation, and Corbin knew if he didn’t fix this, he would lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.
This was his other half, and the man he wanted to marry.
So, he went there.
“I neglected you, and that will stop here and now. I don’t want to be touched, but I imagine it’s hard for you not to be. I haven’t been doing my job of being your partner. I’ve let you carry the weight, and that’s not fair.”
Will was honest.
“I’m good with no sex, Corbin. I’m not good with you getting angry over my past. I had sex partners.
I explored my sexuality. I had a good time.
I don’t need to feel guilty for that. I would never be upset if our worlds were reversed.
If you had a more extensive sex past, I’d want to learn from you, not condemn you. ”
Will was right.
“I’m sorry to everyone,” he said, “and I meant what I said. I’m going to rectify it. So Tala, keep Tala-ing, and Gene, keep perverting.”
The big man laughed.
“Oh, well, thanks for your permission,” he joked, seeing they got through this again—as a family.
Corbin kissed Will’s knuckles.
“I think we should explore more things, and as long as you understand I can’t experience them the way you can, we’ll be okay. If you like a spicier sex life, I can, and will, give that to you, Will, because I love you, and I don’t want you to lose pleasure because of me.”
He was surprised.
“Really?” he asked.
Corbin nodded.
“I will learn how to be what you need, and maybe in the process, I’ll find myself again.
At least I’ll be trying to participate instead of saying I can’t do it and never know if I can.
Who knows? All I do know is that losing you isn’t an option.
I thought I lost you and it hurt so much.
Just bear with me as I try all this out, and learn how to be the Top you need.
What I can give you is an honest attempt to make it happen, and then, we go from there. ”
Will hugged him.
While he’d give up his sex life, just the fact that Corbin was trying…it changed everything.
Partnerships were fifty-fifty, and he was making the effort.
“We’ll see where it goes. Besides, I’m going to ask really annoying questions to both Gene and Ethan, and they’re going to feel guilty and answer.”
Gene laughed.
Oh, he was wrong on that.
“I won’t feel guilty about answering—especially for shoving your bitchy ass into the surf. You had that coming, Corbin.”
Even Ethan was relieved.
The last thing he wanted was to put Tala away for their vacation. He wanted them to enjoy their week off.
They had earned it.
When the surf came in hard, crashing around their legs, Corbin nearly went down, but Gene caught him.
Then, they realized it wasn’t a wave that hit him in the back of the legs because it hit Gene, too.
“What the hell?” Corbin asked, feeling something floating around him in the surf.
When he looked down, he gasped and moved back and away from the object in the water.
“What the fuck?” he asked.
When they all looked down, Ethan knew what it was, and he couldn’t believe his eyes.
In the surf, there was a body.
A dead body.
When Gene went to roll it over, he grabbed the arm, thinking the person might need CPR, and he could feel all the bones moving under his flesh, like he was shattered.
Oh, Jesus.
To make it worse, what looked like tattoos in the moonlight came more into focus when he pulled him onto the sand.
Only, it wasn’t tattoos. The body’s flesh was marked with weird symbols.
When he got the victim onto his back, and out of the water, he saw the face. Despite it being bloated, he was caught off guard.
“Oh, holy shit,” he muttered, stepping back with everyone else.
It brought him back.
“I can’t believe we found a body on our vacation,” Ethan said, sighing.
Only, it was worse than that.
“We didn’t just find a body, EJ. I know this guy. I went to the FBI academy in Quantico with him when I first started out. We just found a dead FBI agent on the beach.”
Yeah, that was problematic.
For whom?
The two agents on vacation.
Or who had been on vacation.
Because that was officially over. Deep down, Gene knew this walk on the beach was about to bite him in the ass.
Call it a hunch.