Chapter Six #4
Ethan went there.
“What I’ve learned is that you have to foster a relationship. At the beginning, Gene did all the nice things for me, and I didn’t reciprocate—not because I didn’t want to, but because I wasn’t sure how. No one has ever loved me like he does, and it confused me.”
Will listened.
“But I noticed that as soon as I put the effort in, even if it landed perfectly, or not, Gene was happier, and that came back in my direction. So, I don’t think it’s selfish.
I think that Corbin, while still healing, just doesn’t know how to reciprocate yet.
But he’s smart, and when he figures it out, he’ll start to show you again.
This is going to take time, and it is a steep learning curve. ”
Okay.
That was a good point.
That helped him relax a bit.
It really did.
“If Corbin tries, what he said might be right,” Ethan offered. “It might help him find his way back to his sexuality. I know when I was abducted by David Neives, it took me a couple of weeks to feel better. I was scared, a lot, and sex didn’t need to be the priority. Now, it is.”
Will meant what he’d said.
“I will give up sex, if that’s what it takes, but I can’t help that I have a past where I liked sex.”
Ethan understood.
He hadn’t had the opportunity to freely explore and find his likes and dislikes. He was learning about himself and the kind of sex he wanted.
Gene brought that out in him.
“I have a feeling that it will all work out for both of you. It’s clear there’s love there.”
That was a good point.
When they both heard a key in the doorway, they stopped talking. It was when Gene and Corbin came in, that Ethan stood beside the bed.
Gene immediately headed his way.
“Hey,” he said, lifting his chin and kissing him softly on the lips. When he broke the kiss, he stared into his eyes. “I missed you.”
Corbin was vastly uncomfortable.
He wanted to kiss Will, but he wasn’t one hundred percent sure he was not angry with him. They hadn’t been able to solve anything, other than him apologizing.
“Can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?” Gene asked his man.
Ethan just nodded.
That was when Gene led him into the other room, where the bed was, and closed the door between them.
When they were gone, the men left in the hotel room could hear him talking, but not what he was saying to Ethan.
Corbin hated having this between them.
“So,” Corbin began.
Will stood there.
“So.”
Yeah, this was uncomfortable.
“I wanted to give you a kiss, but I’m afraid you’re still pissed at me. Are you?” he asked.
Will relented.
“No, I’m not angry with you, Corbin. I’m over it. I just don’t want to fight. That’s all.”
Well, there was that.
At least his man wasn’t pissed, and he could rebuild from that.
So, Corbin took a chance.
He opened his arms, and Will went into them, resting his head on his shoulder. Once there, Corbin held him.
“You know I love you, right?” he asked.
Will nodded, but didn’t look at him. In fact, it was when he didn’t say anything that Corbin started worrying.
“I meant what I said. I want to share with you, and to have those moments again. I promise they’ll happen. Just give me a chance.”
He was curious.
“Do you still want them with me?” Will asked. “I need the truth, Corbin. I’ll always stay, but I can’t live afraid that if I mention an ex, you’ll get angry with me.”
He made him face him.
Corbin had made this mess, so he’d have to clean it up. That was the bottom line.
“I shouldn’t have made you feel that way, and yes, I want those moments with you. I promise that I do, Will. I know what you need now, and I’ll take care of you, like you take care of me.”
He said nothing.
So, Corbin decided to show him.
Gently, he found his mouth, and he sank into the kiss, sharing his heart with him.
It was a vow of sorts.
Will wrapped his arms around his hips, and he was pressed to his body. The whole time, they were kissing, Will’s body came alive, but Corbin’s did not.
Instead of thinking about himself, he thought about his partner, and the man he loved.
He poured himself into that kiss, and he didn’t let up until Will whimpered in pleasure.
Then, he slowly broke the kiss, staring into Will’s eyes. They were glazed over, and he only wished he could feel something.
Anything.
God.
What wouldn’t he give to be able to feel again?
“I do love you,” he promised.
Will believed him.
While he didn’t understand the trauma that Corbin survived, he did know that the man was trying, and that meant more than anything to him.
“We’ll get back there,” Will promised. “Just have faith, Corbin. One day, you’ll wake up, and you’ll want me again.”
He stopped him.
Oh, yeah, he didn’t like the way that sounded.
Not.
At.
All.
“It’s not that I don’t want you,” he admitted.
“I do. I just get to this point, and I panic. I think about what happened, and what they did to me. It scares me, and then, I just can’t do it.
I need to get past that block, Will. I just don’t know how, but the therapist said it’ll happen when I’m ready. I just don’t know when I’ll be ready.”
It needed to be said.
“If you want to move on, I’ll let you go,” he said, knowing that would kill him. “Every day I ask myself what right do I have to put you through this. Trust me. I think it.”
Will put his head on his shoulder and didn’t try to hide that he had an erection. Normally, he would. Maybe what Corbin needed was for him to feel that attraction that was still there for him.
Maybe that would wake him up.
All that Corbin knew was that if he lost Will, he’d never be the same.
The mere idea of not waking up with him every day, and seeing him at bedtime, put him into a spiral.
Corbin knew who his heart belonged to, and no one would ever fit right in his life but Will.
His.
Precious.
Will.
“I’m not leaving, Corby. That’s not happening.
I told you. I’m willing to wait,” Will said.
“I absolutely know that I do want you, Corbin. While you can’t feel anything, I feel plenty.
What happened to you makes me angry, but even if we started having sex, and you had to stop, I wouldn’t be upset.
This is new territory. We’ll figure it out. ”
Well, he hoped so.
Because honestly, Corbin didn’t feel like a man anymore. He felt like he’d been neutered, and he hated it.
So.
Damn.
Much.