6. Lila
LILA
I suppose it’s only natural that Alec takes me to a quaint diner. It’s a small town, and it makes sense we’d have an early brunch in a corner booth on the far end of a mom and pop shop.
And maybe it makes sense that everyone keeps giving us odd glances, too. I’m new, and unfamiliar. But constantly feeling their gazes makes me uneasy. I keep glancing between the dark blue paisley window covers and the small crowd on the other side of the diner. Each time there’s someone staring back. It’s almost like a game at this point.
“Are they bothering you?” Alec asks me, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I shake my head, both hands wrapped around the white ceramic mug in my hands. Tea this time, not coffee. I limit myself to two cups a day for the sake of my teeth. Coffee’s worse than smoking for your teeth, or so I’ve heard. “I’m just not used to…” I pause and take a moment, trying to come up with the right word. “Attention.”
I can still taste the sugary icing from the honey bun I practically devoured. I have a sweet tooth that this diner could certainly satisfy, and I keep eyeing the bit of icing left on the plate sitting on the edge of the table.
Alec nods his head, looking down at the cup of black coffee he hasn’t touched since the waitress set it down. “It may have been a mistake to come here,” Alec murmurs as he looks past me for a moment.
“Oh?” I chew the inside of my lip, letting my nerves get the best of me. I feel like I’m walking on the edge with this man, teeter-tottering between falling for him and keeping myself guarded. I’m not sure which way I’ll fall, but either way, I know I’m going to land hard on my ass.
Alec leans forward, resting his forearms against the pale blue tablecloth and says in a hushed voice, “They’re watching us to see who you are to me.” His piercing gaze holds me steady as his words register. The small chatter and clinking of utensils turns to white noise.
“Who I am?” I ask him as my heart seems to slow, each beat hurting just slightly. Just enough to notice it.
I look down at my cup and lift the tea bag up with my spoon and then lower it back down, letting the dark tea mix with the hot water. “Who would that be?” I ask him although another question rests right on the tip of my tongue.
“A good girl who deserves more than a man like me,” he says without missing a beat.
I search his eyes, wondering why he said that. “Are you a bad man?” The words slip out without my consent. The moment they leave my lips, I want to snatch them back to keep Alec from hearing, but they’re already gone.
He doesn’t flinch like I thought he would. He doesn’t seem shocked at all by my question. And maybe that’s more alarming than anything else.
“My father was,” Alec says, not breaking my gaze. “And recently there was an incident with my brother.”
His expression reflects pain at the mention of his brother. His light eyes smolder, and his lips turn down.
“Did you hurt him?” I ask. I hardly know Alec, but I can sense a darkness in him. More out of pain than anything else. But it’s there, just beneath the surface. It’s in the way he carries himself. Even the way he speaks.
Alec shakes his head and says, “Never.” He taps his fingers against the mug, and I look up past him at a woman in the very back. She’s staring at us shamelessly, and I hate it.
“My brother’s a good man. He’s nothing like my father.” His voice holds conviction, and I find myself confused.
“What then?”
“Do you remember how I told you about the tincture? How I drank it to prove to my brother that it was pointless?” he asks me, and the reminder makes my heart flicker with pain. As if it splinters.
I simply nod and pick up the tea cup, holding it closer, but not drinking.
“He found someone that day, and their relationship is questionable,” he says.
Immediately my defenses rise as I blurt out, “It’s no one else’s business.” Anger brims just beneath the surface. “No one has a right to judge a relationship-”
Alec cuts me off by saying, “Even I question it, Lila.” I’m silenced and stunned by his admission. “I’m not sure she wants to…” He trails off and runs his hand through his hair, the air turning uncomfortable. “I’m not sure she’s interested in being with him as much as he is her,” Alec explains, and that definitely changes things.
My eyes catch a glimpse of a man turning to look over his shoulder at us. He’s quick to look away, but it’s then that everything makes sense. Small towns and gossip go hand in hand.
“Did your brother hurt her?” I ask softly, chancing a glance at him.
His expression hardens, but he hesitates to answer. “She said no and he did as well, but…” He pauses and clears his throat, readjusting in his seat. “It doesn’t look good from the outside,” he finally says.
“What does it look like from the outside?” I ask.
His expression hardens and he mutters, “Like she’s going to leave him.” He blows on his coffee and takes a drink before adding, “It’ll destroy him if she…” Alec doesn’t finish, shrugging his shoulders and setting the coffee mug down.
My fingers trail down the hot ceramic and then I lift it to my lips as Alec tells me, “I haven’t talked to anyone about it.”
“About your brother?” I ask.
He nods. “It’s been difficult to handle because I don’t know how to help,” he admits, and my instinct is to reach my hand out to him. He huffs a sad laugh, putting his large hand over mine and squeezing it lightly.
“This is too much, isn’t it?” he asks me with that sadness reflected in his eyes. “I haven’t even known you for twenty-four hours, yet I’ve told you more personal things than I’ve told anyone else really.” He lets go of my hand to take a sip of his coffee.
“Why me?” I feel compelled to ask.
“I don’t know,” he says after a long moment. “Maybe it’s just the situation.” He pulls his hand away, nestling his back against the booth and I miss the warmth of his hand instantly. “I feel helpless about my brother. I’m alone for the first time in a very long time, and I’m only just now realizing how empty my life has been.” His confession makes my face crumple.
He gives me that sad smile again. “Being quiet and holding it in hasn’t worked well for me. When I saw you,” he says and his eyes burn into me, “I felt like you would understand somehow. Or at least that you would keep my secrets.”
“Maybe you feel safe with me because I’m leaving,” I offer and when I do, his expression changes. He straightens his shoulders, and it’s obvious he doesn’t like what I’ve said. “I mean that I’m not a threat to you in any way.” I try to lighten the weight of my words as he recoils right in front of me.
“You have no idea how much you threaten me. You make me feel weak, Lila.”
Every inch of my skin tingles with awareness. I lick my lips as his eyes heat.
I can’t breathe; I can’t even react. Just two weeks ago I was on the other side of the country, completely oblivious to this man’s existence.
He runs his hands through his hair again and turns to his left, looking out of his window. “I’m sorry,” he says before turning to look me in the eyes and adding, “I know it must sound crazy.”
“Someone asked me once if I believed in love at first sight,” I say without thinking, just speaking what’s on my mind. “I told them no, but I was lying.”
Alec huffs a small laugh, and it makes me smile. “Not that I’m saying it’s love, because it could be lust,” I say.
“There’s definitely lust,” Alec says in a low tone that vibrates through my body. My chest and cheeks warm and I take a sip of the lukewarm tea, feeling a mix of emotions. I keep thinking back to the tincture. How Alec drank it, how he stayed in a room all day and refused to see anyone. Maybe he delayed it? It’s na?ve and childish to think of potions and magic, or rituals and séances. Those things don’t exist in real life.
I shake off the feeling and my eyes catch sight of a young girl staring at us. Her mother’s hand is on her shoulder and everyone else turns away when my gaze reaches them, but not the young girl.
I smile back at her and lift my hand to wave. With the motion, Alec looks behind him, and as the girl waves back he hesitates, but waves as well.
“You’re cute,” I tell him as I reach into my purse for my wallet.
“First, that’s my line. Second, don’t you even think about paying.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet before I can reach mine at the bottom of my bag.
“Well, thank you; it was going to be a business expense though.”
“I think business is over, Lila,” Alec says with a look in his eyes that strums my desire to life. “We should get out of here.”