Chapter 23 #3
“How are you feeling?” Komarov questions me with what feels strangely and suspiciously like integrity.
It’s too sincere of a question for him. I don’t for one second believe this man worries about my health.
But maybe someone should worry about his?
He looks…not well. Dark purple half-moons rest under his cautious eyes.
His skin, which is always pale, is now almost sickly in its pallor.
“Much better. That spa does wonders,” I confirm, stretching my arms above my head, before scrunching my brow.
I’m treading on thin ice here, but I don’t like feeling misled.
“I’m sorry. It’s probably not my place, but I overheard the end of that.
” I gesture to the door Kian exited through.
“Is Boden alright?” And were you talking about me?
And why are you acting like you care how I’m feeling?
And why is your office so diametrically opposed to your personality?
I’m concerned something bigger is going on here and I’m probably not going to be much help, but if there is anything I can do, I want to.
“Everything’s fine,” Komarov says a little too cheerfully for someone who consistently wears a scowl.
“Sciathán season is beginning, and it’s a big year for Boden.
Nothing to worry about.” He taps his fingers on the desk.
I acknowledge him with a hum, but squint as I try to see behind the lie painted on his lips.
Can’t bullshit a bullshitter. He narrows his eyes at me, like he’s attempting to see through me just the same.
“Sciathán season, right.” I meet his stare, refusing to once again back down. I need him to know that I know he’s lying.
“Speaking of,” he says, expertly redirecting the conversation, “how have you been adjusting to your new life here? I’ve been informed your course performance has been less than satisfactory.”
Irritation prickles under my skin. “I think you’ll find I’m a quick study. I will catch up. But no one can be expected to be perfect,” I complain. “I’ve acquired combat tutors. And running and weight training have been added to my schedule.”
“And what of your magic?” Komarov raises a brow, but the exhaustion in his eyes robs the gesture of its usual severity. “You have not demonstrated any magical abilities, nor have your wings made an appearance.”
My cheeks heat in embarrassment, and I lower my eyes as I shake my head. The light at my center that I’m supposed to feel isn’t there. Apparently every Convalescere Throne of Light Insignis has it, but I…just don’t.
“Miss Solis, this is the most prestigious institution in the world.” Lowering his dark brows, his eyes boring into me, he continues, “Not to be crass, but it takes a shit on human Ivy Leagues. Harvard, Princeton, Yale have nothing on us.” He slides a thick stapled packet across his desk.
“Your reading list. This should help you get caught up. If you want to succeed here, you have to work exponentially harder than you have been.” He lets out a low breath and runs his hand through his curls.
“I can appreciate you’ve been under quite a lot of stress.
This afternoon’s incident is evidence enough.
But you are coming to this world behind your peers.
You have to step up, if you want to see this through. ”
“This pep talk is really depressing.” I push my hair behind my ears.
A sharp, cutting laugh escapes his lips. “I’m not known for my optimistic, delightful personality.”
“Is this the part of the show where Emmett tells Elle Woods to get her shit together if she wants to make it in law school?”
“What?” He examines my face with a bewildered expression.
“Legally Blonde, obviously.” I lift one shoulder nonchalantly. “Though I’m specifically referencing the 2007 Broadway musical.” Man, this guy needs to get a life.
“I must admit I haven’t seen it. I’m not a fan of musical theater,” he says in a bored tone. “Much to Teariki’s and Kian’s disappointment.” A mischievous grin plays at the corner of his lips.
Yeah, I know about Kian’s obsession with Annie.
I could totally picture Teariki belting show tunes at the top of his lungs in the shower.
He’d probably dance around, using the shampoo bottle as a microphone.
It would look small in his large hands. His long hair pushed back and slicked wet.
His copper skin glistening as the water trailed down his undoubtedly toned muscular frame. I bite my lip.
“Miss Solis.”
God, I can’t believe I was just sitting here brazenly fantasizing about his friend.
“Did you hear me?”
I shake my head.
He lets out an exhausted sigh before continuing, “Your homework, besides the first book on your reading list, is to spend some time trying to connect with your magic.” He must read the trepidation on my face because he adds softly, “There’s no wrong or right way.
You don’t have to make or do anything. It’s not about coming away with a product. Just a connection.”
“Alright.” I want to try. I’ve been trying. But if I’m honest…really honest with myself, the fact that the light, something that is so integral to being seraphim, seems to be missing worries me.
I slap a cheery smile on my face, stand to exit, and say. “And your homework is to watch Legally Blonde.”