Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Lena
It’s been ten days since the party from hell. And to my astonishment, it appears my fear-induced striptease was quickly forgotten and didn’t even make it to social media. Fortunately, everyone has gone back to ignoring me, with the exception of Naomi, Aki, Gemma, Michi, and Callum.
Callum has been exceptionally lovely. They brought me a cup of coffee to our Tuesday morning House Relations class last week.
Just walked up to where I sit and set it on my desk with a smile.
The next day, they worked with me and Teariki in my combat tutoring session, in which they were both comfortably handsy with me.
It’s odd. Now that I know they have a thing with each other, I’m starting to read their touches and confident smirks a little differently.
When the three of us are together, I can’t tell if they’re flirting with me or each other.
I thought the tension I felt between us was amatory, but I’m not entirely sure I’m reading that correctly.
I also seem to have somewhat gotten over whatever was ailing me.
I assumed after drinking and crying and stumbling through the woods the night of the party, I’d have been a mess Sunday morning.
But I woke up feeling refreshingly energized.
With my extra stamina, I’ve been spending time with my friends or hanging out with Michi when I’m not studying.
We’ve had a couple hot and heavy make-out sessions, but thanks to my stupid curfew, I’m still craving more. For lack of a better word, I’m horny.
I exorcise thoughts of much-needed orgasms from my mind and try to focus on the task at hand: finding my magic.
I still can’t help gawking at all the other students in Convalescere Flight Crystal fixes her attention on a tree, her fingers leaving behind a trail of stone on the bark, solidifying anything she comes into contact with.
Then there’s me, standing in the group of radiant Seraphim Insignia, sticking out like I’m a straight dude at a Chappell Roan concert. The others practice hurling lightning bolts and fire in varying vivid colors across the field, the air crackling with energy and smelling of ozone.
Gemma tried to explain to me what it feels like to summon magic—unfortunately, her instructions have not been enough to bring mine to the surface.
I know what I have to do, and it’s going to hurt.
For the sake of a cool ass power, I’ll suck it up, swallow my pride, and ask the last person in the realm I want to for help.
“Why are you standing there staring at me?” Boden says, as I approach, while he unleashes a torrent of white-hot fire-like light, scorching the ground.
“Thought I might be a gorgon,” I say. “Trying to turn you into a statue. You’d make such a cute lawn ornament.”
“Funny.” He glances at me with apathetic eyes.
I swallow down another smart-ass remark and get to groveling. “Will you tutor me? I can’t do any of this. And as much as it pains me to say it, you’re probably the best in class.”
His eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he responds. “No.”
“What about just helping me in class a little bit?” I beg.
“No.”
Shit, I’ve got one card I can play. “Aren’t we allowed to use magic in combat games?” I bat my eyelashes.
“Yeah,” he confirms, before he closes his eyes. “Shit.” After a long moment of silence, he opens them again. He grits out, “Fine. Show me what you’ve got.”
I blink at him and grimace.
“Anything?” he growls in frustration.
“I’m not even sure how to access my magic,” I mumble.
He takes a deep breath, the air around him shimmering with the faint hum of energy and agitation.
“Okay, so it’s like teaching a child. Stand here.
” He grabs my arm and moves me to face a target.
“To access your magic, you have to feel its pulse. It’s different for everyone.
Close your eyes, Solis,” he orders, and it stirs something in me.
He’s a snobby, pretentious asshole, but his voice is sexy as hell, deep, and a little raspy.
“I imagine a flame at my core. I can feel it, hot and burning. Can you feel a flame in your chest or maybe in the pit of your stomach?”
“No.” I open my eyes. “This is just like the exercises Professor Falk had me try. I don’t feel anything, just empty.”
He scoffs. “Try again. I focus on my light, let it grow. You should feel it expanding through your veins and into your limbs. Breathe deep, and with each breath, draw that light outwards. Feel the energy gathering in your hands, your fingertips. Open your eyes.”
I do, and I look toward his fingers crackling with little sparks of light.
“With focused intention, release the light, guiding it with your will.” A lightning bolt shoots from his fingers, smashing a target across the field.
I picture lightning at my fingertips. I lift my hands and try to throw it at a target like he did: Nothing happens.
He rolls his eyes and adds, “Your light’s an extension of you. Close your eyes and try again.”
After a moment, I open one disgruntled eye. “I can picture light, manifest it or whatever, but I don’t actually feel anything.”
“Close your eyes,” he huffs. His chest brushes my back as he moves to stand behind me.
“Feel it here.” He roughly grabs my diaphragm, jostling my stomach and breasts with the move.
He leans down, whispering in my ear, “The form it takes will be shaped by your talent, by who you are. So even though one seraphim can wield lightning and another fire, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to wield either.
Instead of focusing on a specific form, just focus on finding the light.
” Boden’s whispered words send tingles down my neck.
He is one of the few seraphim who can wield light as both fire and lightning.
I search for that fire burning at my core, and there is something there, but it’s definitely not light. Feels more like I read too many smutty romance novels and there’s a 6’3” celestial being roughly holding me. I let out a little frustrated growl.
“Easy, killer.” Boden chuckles lightly in my ear. I think this is the first time I’ve heard him laugh or make any noise that wasn’t out of irritation or apathy. “Maybe we got the wrong girl. Maybe Kian’s wrong and you aren’t magica.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
” I sigh, looking over my shoulder. But now saying it out loud, admitting it to Boden, just feels wrong.
He’s wrong, I am magica. I’m not sure when that shifted for me, but I feel it with my whole being.
I belong in this world. I may not know what I am, but I’m starting to learn who I am.
I saw my family tree, my father’s name written in dark ink under the name of a long-lost princess.
I don’t know everything yet, but I’m sure as hell going to find out.
“You’re probably right then.” Boden lets go of me to directly face me. “You really aren’t cut out for this.”
I narrow my eyes. “You know nothing about me.”
“I know you have no power. You’re so weak you can’t even fight off the hallucinations from a mid-level bodach, not even to prevent your own embarrassment.
” Each word he utters sinks into my stomach like a lead ball turning putrid and growing black and moldy.
“I know you’re just some spoiled little girl who shirks her responsibilities.
” I feel that ball of rot decaying in my core turning to spindly, jagged veins.
“I know that the Solis family is spineless.” The polluted vein-like roots stretch from within my body, reaching toward Boden.
“Your father, your brother, Dmitri, are cowards who would rather run from a fight than face the consequences of their actions.’’
“Dmitri? You know nothing about him. He practically raised me,” I grit out between clenched teeth.
“Ah, then it’s clear we have him to thank for your shortcomings.” He glares down at me. “I know—”
A growl rips from my throat, cutting him off. I grab a handful of those blackened living ribbons growing from my diaphragm and pull. Boden lets out a wretched scream, sinking to his knees and clutching his head.