Chapter Nine
By the time Tommy got home, the sun was already up. He found Colleen in the kitchen putting on a pot of coffee. She looked like a little kid playing house as she shuffled around in a ratty robe and a pair of torn-up slippers.
“How’s Bobby?” she asked as she started making sandwiches and stuffing them in paper sacks. The kids would probably get free lunches at school, since Cheryl had finally turned in the paperwork for food stamps, but they were always careful the first day of the year, not wanting the kids to go hungry if there was a mix-up.
“Sound asleep when I left him.” Tommy grabbed two coffee mugs down from the cupboard and waited impatiently for the pot to brew.
“Any news on Sanders?”
Bobby’s partner was important to him, so by extension, he was important to the rest of the family. Tommy nodded to her as he watched the coffee drip into the pot. “He’s outta the woods, but they wanna keep him a few more days.”
“I bet Bobby is relieved.” Colleen looked at Tommy, and her expression said she was pretty relieved too. “You should probably get some rest before we gotta leave for school.”
He knew Colleen was right, but he didn’t think he could sleep much at that point. He kept playing every detail from the last eleven hours back in his head. What a rollercoaster. “I got a little nap in the chair there. Nurse kicked me out when she came in to check on Bobby.”
Colleen moved quickly, just as she always did. She got the lunches squared away and then started to pull things out for breakfast. Nothing fancy—toast and eggs—but she worked with a quiet resolve. She worked like she knew this was all her life was ever going to be.
“Lemme do that,” Tommy told her. The idea of her slaving away for the rest of her life made him sick. “Drink some coffee and put your feet up for a few minutes. Jesus!”
She looked like she might argue with him, but she didn’t. Instead she poured a cup for herself and one for Tommy. She set his next to the stove and took her own to the kitchen table. “Wyatt called last night,” she said quietly.
“Yeah? Did you talk to him this time?”
She took a long sip before answering. “Yeah.” Her brow furrowed as she went on. “His parents had called him, and he saw the shooting on the news. He wanted to ask if Bobby had been hurt and make sure everyone was okay.”
Tommy huffed out a laugh. “Sounds like an excuse to talk to ya if you ask me.”
Colleen nodded and laughed with him. “I figured as much, but with everything going on I couldn’t just ignore him, ya know?”
“Good.” Tommy was beating eggs in a large bowl. “Did you cut the poor guy some slack?”
“I tried to break up with him.” Tommy put the bowl down and looked at her hard before she went on. “He told me that it wasn’t a breakup if I didn’t have a good reason. So I told him that my reasons were the fact that we lived in different states and I had responsibilities here and would have for a long time and that he should get out and meet girls and find someone else.”
“And?” He remembered he had a task at hand and got the butter out of the refrigerator.
“And he told me those were bullshit reasons, and he disagreed.” She laughed before going on. “Then he said he would be home for Thanksgiving in a couple months, and I was going to see him and talk to him if he had to camp on our lawn and follow me to work.”
Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. “Only Wyatt could say that and not sound creepy.”
“I know, right?”
“You gonna give him a break?”
“I tried to.”
Tommy narrowed his eyes at her. “He’s a big boy, Col. Let him decide for himself what he wants.” He couldn’t believe he was saying it, but Tommy went on. “Wyatt treats ya good, he puts up with our bullshit and takes all your… stuff in stride. He’s more understanding about all you’ve gone through than any kid his age has a right to be, ya know?”
Colleen let out a tired sigh. She looked defeated already. Not even eighteen yet, and she looked like the world had won and she was ready to tag herself out. “I know,” she said softly. “He’s just got so much going for him. He’s such a good guy, and he’s—”
She stopped talking when Tommy slammed a cupboard door so hard the dishes inside rattled. “You listen to me, Col.” Tommy pointed his finger at her and glared as he spoke. “You’re the best goddamn person I know. You’re smart, you’re quick, and you give a shit. You take care of your own. It makes your life one big pain in the ass, but it makes you a fucking saint, and anyone who doesn’t see what an amazing girl you are, anyone that doesn’t have room for the baggage you’ve been tied to, doesn’t fucking deserve to shine your shoes, let alone have you in their corner.”
Tommy was ready to hit someone just to make himself feel better. The idea of his sister sitting there and feeling like she wasn’t good enough for someone made his blood boil.
Colleen gave a little sniffle over her coffee mug and nodded her head. When she met his eye, she asked, “Do you ever even listen to yourself, Tommy?”
“All the time,” he told her, trying to joke. “I’m the only one that makes any goddamn sense around here.”
When she stood up, she came around the counter and got the orange juice out of the refrigerator. “You just don’t get it,” she said, grabbing a stack of plates and setting them on the table. “I could say all of that about you. I’m no better than you, Tommy. Hell, at least I had your example to follow.”
He didn’t know what to say at first. What she said was technically true. They were cut from the same cloth, and they both made similar sacrifices every day. “So I guess we’re both too good for the rest of the world,” he joked.
Colleen shook her head. “You’re an asshole.”
“So I’ve been told. I’m thinking about having it printed on a T-shirt.”
“Trust me,” Colleen laughed. “You don’t need it on a shirt. Most people can tell the first time you open your mouth.”
Tommy flipped her off and went back to making breakfast. He glanced up at her when she asked, “Do you ever tell Bobby you’re just gonna let him decide what he wants and what he can handle?”
“Not so far.” He was going to let the subject die there, but he blurted out, “I told him I loved him last night.” Tommy could feel his cheeks go hot as he said the words.
“Was he conscious?”
“Yes.” Kind of.
Colleen came closer and put an arm around his shoulders. She kissed his cheek and said, “Good.”
As she pulled back, she added, “There just might be hope for you yet.”
Tommy was watching the twins play together, wishing it was time for their naps. Zoe pulled herself up on the coffee table, looking overly pleased with herself, and took a few wobbly steps before she plopped back down on the floor and decided to crawl toward him.
She and Max had both taken their first steps earlier in the week, less than an hour apart. Max had looked at Zoe in amazement and then decided to try it. Bobby was there for it. He was so proud of them both, anyone watching would’ve assumed he was their father. He took videos of it on his phone. Tommy realized they were probably the only ones in the entire family who had such a milestone recorded for posterity. Unless you counted Colleen’s prom photo, which was also Bobby’s doing. Or Tommy’s first mug shot from when he was twelve and had been caught stealing milk and cereal and a loaf of bread because the cupboards at home were empty. He’d learned to be more careful after that.
When Zoe reached for him, Tommy lifted her up onto his lap. “How’s our girl?” he asked as she patted his face.
He caught one of her tiny hands and kissed her palm. “You about ready for a nap?” He tickled her side and kissed her chubby cheek. “I am. I’m so ready for a nap, you wouldn’t believe, kiddo.”
She giggled and laid her head on his shoulder. Max looked like he wanted in on the cuddles, but as he started to scoot and stumble his way to the couch, there was a knock at the door.
Tommy remembered with regret that he and Bobby were supposed to have an afternoon date for about that time. Judy hadn’t called, and he hadn’t heard from Bobby, so he could only assume Bobby hadn’t been released yet. He carried Zoe in his arms as he went to the door. When he got it open, all he could see was half a person hidden behind a stack of casserole dishes and a cake carrier. He stared for a beat before saying, “Uh, I think you got the wrong house.”
Judy tilted her head to the side to see around the dishes she was carrying. “I never get the wrong house,” she told him cheerfully.
Tommy had about six responses all fighting for first place on the tip of his tongue. One of them was about not needing free food, and one of the others was about seeing where Bobby had gotten his do-gooder streak. He made a face and clamped his mouth shut on all his remarks.
“Set the baby down and give me a hand, would you?” she asked.
He could hear a smile in her tone, and Tommy was picturing what his life might have been like if he’d had her for a mother. He put Zoe down and started to unburden Judy.
Tommy led the way to the kitchen after he closed the door behind her. She carried a couple of long glass dishes in her arms, and he had three more just like it, along with, apparently, a cake.
“Bobby’s getting released this afternoon,” she explained as she trailed behind him.
Never in his life had he been so thankful he’d bothered to clean the house right after breakfast.
“I thought you might want to go pick him up,” she added as they set the dishes down on the kitchen counter.
“And you figured he’d be really hungry?”
Judy laughed at that. “No,” she said, going over to the fridge like she lived there. She was putting things away and talking over her shoulder to Tommy. “When I don’t know what to do with myself, I cook. When I can’t cook anymore, I bring the food to someone who will take pity on me and feel obligated to chat for a while.”
Tommy tried to let it go. He tried to tell himself she was restless and this wasn’t going to become A Thing She Did. But he also figured he should set some boundaries down early on. “Listen, Mrs. McA—”
“Judy,” she corrected him kindly.
“Judy.” Tommy chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to get some control before going on. “This was really nice and all, but we’re good here. We don’t need any—”
“Who said anything about need?” she asked with a vague wave of her hand, as if she could dismiss his words with the gesture. “No one needs chocolate fudge cake, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be shared when one is made.”
Tommy was still trying to find his footing. “Right, but…. This is too much, ya know? We’re covered and all, and….”
He had to stop talking when Judy turned to face him. Her brow was furrowed and her hands were on her hips. She looked like she was ready to stand him in the corner. “I’m sorry, Tommy, but are you trying to argue with me?”
He suddenly felt like he was six years old, which seemed oddly appropriate given the fact she was a first-grade teacher. “No, ma’am.”
Judy smiled brightly then and patted him on the cheek. “Good,” she said as she turned toward the door that led back to the living room. He followed her. “Bobby said you could be—” She made another gesture with her hand over her shoulder. “—difficult sometimes about these things.”
Tommy felt like he was being swept up in a tornado. He had lost all control of the situation and his home. He was going to kick Bobby’s ass as soon he was out of the hospital. “What things?”
“People being nice to you.” She whispered the word “nice” like it was dirty as she sat down on the living room floor near Max.
Zoe took after Tommy when it came to strangers. She made a beeline for his leg and started to climb up. She had no interest whatsoever in getting to know new people who waltzed into the house. Even people who came loaded down with food that—Tommy had to admit, if only to himself—smelled amazing.
As he picked Zoe up and let her hide her face against his shoulder, he noticed Max had no such issues. The little turncoat could be bought out with a slice of cake and wouldn’t give it a second thought. He was already climbing into Judy’s lap and trying to grab at her necklace.
“Oh goodness, you’re a sweet one, aren’t you?” Judy was talking to Max. She used the same tone women around the world used when confronted with a baby who liked to flirt. She looked up at Tommy and asked, “They’re about a year, aren’t they?”
Tommy tried to bury his annoyance and nodded his head. “Last month.”
Judy turned her attention back to Max. “You like that?” she asked him as he picked at her necklace. “Look,” she said softly, taking it gently from his hands. “It opens,” she explained as she undid the clasp and pulled the locket open.
When Max made a happy sound and said, “Babo!” Judy laughed.
Tommy got curious then, knowing what Max and Zoe called Bobby.
Judy smiled at Max and ran a hand through his mess of curls. “That’s right. You’re such a smart boy.” She pointed a thin, well-manicured fingertip to one side of the frame and said, “That’s Bobby when he was about your age.” Then she pointed to the other side of the frame and said, “And that’s him all grown up.”
Tommy found himself sitting next to Judy. He wanted to see Bobby’s baby picture just as badly as Max did. “Please tell me he’s naked on a bearskin rug,” he joked, thinking Judy seemed like the kind of mother who would take great joy in mortifying her only son.
“That one is on the mantel,” she told Tommy with a laugh before she turned the locket so Tommy could see.
There was Bobby in his dress blues, probably right out of academy. The other picture was of Bobby when he was a baby. One tooth showed in the photo, his chin glossy from drool. He was wearing a little sailor suit.
“So he’s always looked good in a uniform,” Tommy joked.
He realized a second too late the comment might have been inappropriate, but Judy laughed again. “Most men do, dear.”
Zoe had decided to give Judy a try. She must have figured anyone cool enough to carry around a picture of Bobby was worth the time of day. She climbed out of Tommy’s lap and reached for Judy.
“They’re cuter than kittens,” Judy said, grinning at Zoe and showing her Bobby’s pictures.
Tommy had to agree, but he said, “Don’t let ’em fool ya. These two are hellions when they wanna be. Couldn’t get them to sleep at the same time for the first three months. It about killed me.”
“Oh, I can imagine.” Judy bounced Zoe on her lap as Max tried to squirm his way between her and Tommy. “When I was working my way through college, I spent a summer or two working in a daycare center.” She looked like she was remembering it, all those years ago. “I had to quit after a while. I was afraid I’d never want children of my own.”
With a laugh, Tommy agreed. “Yeah, that’d do it.” He leaned down and kissed the top of Max’s head, smelled his hair with a sigh.
“Do you want more? One of your own?” Judy asked.
Tommy was impressed with how easily she slid from useless small talk to potential son-in-law grilling.
“Seven ain’t enough?” he asked, thinking he needed to get out of the room fast.
“Don’t say ‘ain’t’, dear. It isn’t a real word.”
Tommy glanced at the clock on the wall and wondered if Bobby would be released soon. It was time for his bloodletting. “Well, seven is enough for me,” he said, letting out a breath and leaning back against the foot of the couch. “If I can get all of them outta school, settled into real jobs, and in their own homes, I can die happy. I don’t need another one to look after when that’s all through.”
“And you started from scratch with these two, didn’t you?” Judy asked, sounding curious.
“Pretty much.” Tommy didn’t know where all this was going, but he gave up on getting out of it. “I’ve been it for the other kids since our mother died. Probably before that, really. Max and Zoe since day one. Cheryl’s not exactly….” He couldn’t go into all the things Cheryl was and wasn’t.
Judy smiled at him. “I suppose seven is enough, then.” He thought she was finally dropping the subject, but she added, “You’re a better father than most men ten years older than you.”
Tommy let a disbelieving laugh slip out. “Ask them in fifteen years what a bang-up job I did.”
Zoe rested her head on Judy’s shoulder. “No one will have to ask them, I’m sure.” She rocked Zoe in her arms.
Max had curled himself around Tommy and yawned. That was his cue.
“I think it’s nap time,” he told her as he got to his feet.
“I think you’re right.” Judy had a harder time getting off the floor with Zoe in her arms, but she managed. She passed the baby to Tommy and sat down on the couch. “I’ll just wait here while you get them settled.”
Tommy fought the urge to roll his eyes as he carried the twins upstairs.
Tommy took his time getting Max and Zoe to bed. He secretly hoped Judy might get bored and leave. Then he realized she would probably clean the kitchen or put on a load of laundry instead. That’s what Bobby would do if he thought he could get away with it. Judy didn’t seem like she would care if Tommy groused around the house and told her to knock it off.
She was sitting on the couch doing something with her phone when he got back to the living room. “Bobby texted a minute ago,” she said. “He should be ready to leave in an hour or so. He’s just waiting on the doctor to sign his release forms.”
“Thank Christ,” Tommy said, running his hand through his hair as he tried to think of a polite way to say “guess you should be going now!”
“Why don’t you go on down there and pick him up?” Judy prompted.
Tommy was going to have to take a crash course in how to deal with people who liked to kill with kindness.
“I can’t,” he said as he sat down on the arm of the couch. “Colleen’s got the car and, ya know, wouldn’t wanna wake the babies anyway.”
“Nonsense,” she said, smiling up at him. “I’ll stay here with the angels. They’ll probably sleep the whole time you’re gone. You can go get Bobby, take him home and get him settled, and then come back here with my car.”
She said it like it was the most obvious solution in the world. Like people always left their defenseless babies with people they barely knew and went to run errands. It occurred to Tommy after a second that people usually did do that. He reminded himself that his boyfriend’s mother, who also happened to be a retired schoolteacher and daycare worker, was probably more qualified to look after Max and Zoe than he was. He wanted to kick something.
“Yeah, all right,” he growled. He was tempted to shake his fist and shove her out the door. It was a near thing. But Judy laughed at his reaction and passed him a set of car keys.
“It’s the PT parked out front.”
Of course it is. Tommy grabbed his wallet from the table by the door and said, “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time, dear. Make sure Bobby is settled before you come back.”
Tommy stalked out the door, muttering, “Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.”
“Your mother is insane,” Tommy said as soon as he saw Bobby. It had taken him about five minutes to figure out how to start the damn car, and then it took him twice as long as it should have to drive to the hospital. He was scared he’d wreck it on the way.
Bobby was startled when Tommy stormed into his room. “What’d she do?”
“She showed up at the house! She had enough food to feed an army, then she railroaded me out the door to come get you. She’s got Max and Zoe hostage.”
Tommy could tell Bobby was doing his damnedest not to laugh.
“The bitch,” Bobby said sarcastically. “The nerve of the woman. Going in and bringing cake—there was cake, right?” When Tommy nodded, Bobby went on. “That is some messed-up devil-woman shit. Thinking she can slide in under your radar like that! That’s right out of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Maybe she’ll try to cook them next!”
Bobby let himself laugh then. He held his left arm like it was killing him, but he couldn’t stop laughing at Tommy.
“All right, shut it, asshole.” Tommy flopped down into the chair by Bobby’s hospital bed. He leaned in and kissed Bobby, despite the fact that Bobby was still laughing at him.
After Bobby caught his breath, he asked, “Did you try just telling her no?”
“Have you met the woman?”
Bobby considered the question and looked like he agreed, but he said, “She’s not totally unreasonable, Tom.”
“What, are you kidding me? She’s you. Only it’s impossible to argue with someone that’s that nice and little and old and a woman. Especially one that’s so goddamned obsessively determined. It’s like someone threw Pollyanna, Mary Sunshine, and Mussolini into a blender and it spit your mother out.”
“You forgot Mother Teresa.”
“Yeah, her too. Thank God we don’t have leprosy.”
Bobby laughed again at that, but he reached a hand out for Tommy. “She just needs to take care of everyone. You should let her, she’s good at it.”
Tommy leaned in then, smiling begrudgingly as he said, “At least now I know where ya get it.”
Before Tommy had a chance to kiss him again, there was a small knock on the door. He pulled back as a nurse came in with a few papers. “Looks like you’re getting out of here today, Officer McAlister.”
“Please tell me those are my release forms,” Bobby asked hopefully as he sat up farther in the bed.
The nurse gave him a smile and then a fake pout. “You didn’t like visiting with us?”
Bobby tried to return the smile, but Tommy could tell it was forced. “You’ve all been great, thanks, but between the catheter yesterday and the peep-show nightgown, I’m ready to go home.”
She was already working on his IV, pulling it out carefully and putting a small bandage over the back of his hand. “I guess I can’t blame you,” she said with another smile.
It sounded like a rehearsed conversation, and Tommy figured she probably had similar banter several times a day with different people.
She cut the hospital bracelet off his wrist and taped it to the forms. “I’m going to leave this here with your paperwork. If you need to come back for any reason at all, try to bring this with you.”
Bobby nodded, but Tommy guessed if they needed to bring him back in for anything, Bobby might lose his temper and start his own shooting spree.
“Here’s your information about wound care at home and what to look for, signs of infection and such. You need to follow up with your regular doctor in three days.” She pointed at the page. Bobby glanced at it and nodded his head again. “And”—she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small brown paper bag and set it on the table by his bed—“these are your pain meds. You have one refill, but you probably won’t need anything stronger than ibuprofen after the first week.”
“Got it,” Bobby said, trying to get up. She had him sign and initial more papers and then turned to leave. “Is that it? I can go now?”
“You can get dressed now. I’ll be back in a few minutes to wheel you down to the parking lot,” she told him cheerfully.
“I got shot in the arm. I’m pretty sure I can make it down to the garage.”
The nurse tossed her blonde hair off her shoulder and laughed. “Hospital policy. Think of it this way: if you tripped and hit your head on your way to the car, we’d have to keep you another day.”
“Wheelchair it is.” Bobby started to push the blanket back, but he waited for her to leave the room first.
Tommy leaned back and waited as well. He couldn’t get out of the hospital soon enough. He hadn’t been a fan of them before, but after last night he thought he could go his whole life without stepping foot in another one. “I think she’s just disappointed she can’t give you a sponge bath.”
Bobby laughed and glanced over his shoulder as he got out of bed. “Enrique, an alarmingly attractive male nurse, beat her to the punch this morning.”
Tommy covered his face with his hand, feeling a rush of desire at the image. “I can’t decide if I should be jealous or ask for video footage.”
“Neither, trust me.” Bobby said as he pulled on his jeans that had been sent from home. “It was one of the least sexy things to ever happen to me. Even if I was single, I don’t think I could get it up at the idea.”
Tommy watched him get dressed. He was so relieved to be sitting there, having this conversation—any conversation—with Bobby, he couldn’t think straight. When Tommy didn’t comment, Bobby looked over his shoulder again.
“You still with me?”
Tommy got out of the chair and walked toward Bobby. “Nowhere I’d rather be right now,” he said, the barefaced honesty not even making him flinch.
Bobby had only managed to get his jeans on. His shirt was bunched up in a fist and he looked so shocked at Tommy’s words it was almost comical. Tommy wrapped his arms around Bobby and pulled him close. He didn’t like the smell—it was all wrong. It was the smell of sterile soap and other people and a hint of blood from a wound that had barely begun to heal. He took a deep breath anyway. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
Between the lack of sleep and the terror of the night before, Tommy felt like he was ready to fall apart.
“I’m not going anywhere, Tom,” Bobby whispered to him. The shock seemed to have worn off, and Bobby wrapped his arm around him. “Most cops in our district don’t even see as much action as I did last night. There’s no way it’ll happen twice to me, okay?”
Tommy had his face buried against Bobby’s neck. He didn’t say anything, but he nodded his head. He hated caring so much about another person. He hated having Bobby’s life in the hands of strangers every day. He hated that he couldn’t change the way he felt. “Okay,” he whispered on a rough breath.
Bobby was about to say something else, but the door opened, and the nurse came in with a wheelchair.
“Knock, knock, your chariot is ready.” She stopped when she found them wrapped around each other. “Need another minute?”
Her face was so impassive Tommy figured she was a little offended by what she’d walked in on. Fuck her if she didn’t like it.
“No, we’re good,” he told her as Bobby struggled to pull his shirt over his head with one good arm.
The nurse pushed the chair farther into the room and turned it around to face the door. “Got all of your personal belongings?”
Tommy was picking up the things he knew were Bobby’s and putting them in the big plastic bag the hospital had provided. “Got it all right here.” He looked around again and asked Bobby, “Where’s your uniform?”
“They had to cut the shirt off, and the trousers are…. I’ll get a new one. My sergeant gave Mom my badge to take home.”
“All right.” Tommy could tell Bobby still wasn’t himself, but he figured that was to be expected. Not many people lived through what he had, and those who did had a right to being a little rattled as far as Tommy was concerned. “Looks like you’re good to go, then.”
Bobby took a seat in the wheelchair. He looked more tired than Tommy had ever seen him. He figured Bobby had a right to that too.
It took a few minutes to get the car to where Bobby was waiting with the nurse. He pulled up carefully to the curb and got out to open the door for him.
“Mom must like you,” Bobby said as he stood up. “She doesn’t even let me drive her car.”
Tommy closed the passenger door for Bobby before getting in behind the wheel. “She can keep it. I feel like I’m trying to pilot a spaceship in this thing.”
Bobby had closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the leather seat, but he was grinning. He carefully reached his hand out and rested it on Tommy’s thigh as Tommy drove.