Chapter Four
Tommy
“You sure you don’t want one more smoke?” Gene asked as he stubbed his out.
He did. But he wouldn’t. “Nah, but you got a mint or something?”
Ben slapped his meaty paw on Tommy’s shoulder. “Might as well have one, let the man know what he’s getting into.”
“Oh, he knows,” Gene said, snorting a laugh, and Tommy narrowed his eyes. Even though Gene was right. Of all the people in the world, Bobby knew better than anyone what he was getting when he got Tommy.
Gavin paused and gave Tommy a once-over, adjusted his sky-blue tie, and smoothed his shoulders. “You look hot,” he said.
“That’s good, ’cause I feel like an idiot.” He resisted the urge to loosen the tie again, mostly because he thought Gavin would smack his hand if he did.
With a little laugh, Gavin said, “We’ll go get our seats. Break a leg.”
“He’s getting married, not opening on Broadway…” Ben said, slinging his arm around Gavin’s shoulder.
“Well, I didn’t want to jinx him with wishing him good luck.”
“Tommy’s already jinxed,” Gene said. “There’s nothing we can do for that.”
Fair. “Thanks, asshole.”
“Anytime.”
They went around the side of the house and left Tommy to himself. He didn’t want to go in with the others, wanted to have a second with Bobby, just the two of them. So he paced around on the front step for a minute, wishing he had prepared real vows, knew what he wanted to say, instead of hoping the right thing would just fall out of his mouth in the moment, but who the hell could put into words all the things he wanted to promise Bobby? Tommy didn’t make promises often, didn’t make promises unless he knew he could keep them. So, yeah, doing it on the fly was the worst idea he’d ever had, but it was too late now.
He must’ve stood out there too long because Judy came around from the side yard and scared the shit out of him. “You change your mind?” she asked, and Tommy actually jumped.
“Not a chance,” he said, letting out a shaky breath.
She beamed at him and stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “Good,” she whispered. “Because I’m looking forward to having you for my son.”
And goddamn it, why did she have to say something like that? His own parents had never even said shit like that to him. His eyes stung sharply, and heat rose from under his collar. “I’m lookin’ forward to that too,” he whispered, stunned at the truth of it. He laughed wetly when she looked at him in surprise. “Never thought you’d hear me admit that, huh?”
“Not in a million years.” She hugged him again and then pulled back. “You look so handsome. Bobby is a lucky man.” And with that, she turned to go back around the house. “Don’t make him wait too much longer, though,” she said over her shoulder.
He wouldn’t. But Tommy knew, between the two of them, he was the lucky one. And Bobby was a crazy fuck for wanting to marry him.
And with that thought in mind, he opened the door and went inside, through the hall, into the living room, where he found Bobby standing tall, shoulders back, his uniform freshly pressed, cap tucked under his arm, and goddamn, he’d never wanted to pull Bobby aside and fuck him in a coat closet more than he did in that moment.
Bobby shot him the most incredible smile, let out a huff of a laugh. “Thought you maybe decided not to go through with it.”
Tommy nearly made a joke about wasting all that money on the wedding or never hearing the end of it from the kids and Judy, but instead, what came out of his mouth was, “You look fucking amazing.”
“So do you,” Bobby said, and stepped closer, taking Tommy’s hand. “Think anyone would notice if we went back to our place real quick so I can tie you to the bed with this?” he asked, tugging on Tommy’s tie.
Cool. Gonna walk down the aisle with a hard-on, no big deal. “I’m gonna need more than real quick for that,” Tommy said, pressing closer, breathing in the scent of Bobby’s aftershave, his shampoo.
“You keep rubbing against me and we’re gonna have to send everyone home.” But he didn’t pull away; instead, he tipped his head and caught Tommy’s mouth in a hard kiss, the kind that would go somewhere if they let it.
Tommy didn’t want to, but he broke it with a small groan. “We should probably get out there, then.”
“Yeah.” Bobby did step back then, held tight to Tommy’s hand. “You still sure?”
“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”
Bobby didn’t respond, just smiled as he put his cap on, opened the sliding glass door, and tugged Tommy out onto the back porch, onto a sky-blue runner lined with white flowers. Colleen was there, looking prettier than Tommy had ever seen her, with Max in a little suit that matched Tommy’s and Zoe in a fluffy dress that swished and bounced with every step she took, her hair curled and pulled back off her face.
After a point in the planning, they’d stopped telling Tommy anything because he kept balking at the cost or telling everyone they didn’t need anything fancy. Judy, her patience worn thin, finally told him, This is the only wedding my only child will ever have. Tommy bowed out then, told them all to do whatever they wanted, and now, looking out at the garden, at the decorations and flowers and everything in bloom, the arch draped with wispy fabric and flowers and vines, all the kids shiny and clean and dressed up like they were the ones getting married, Tommy was glad because, yeah, Bobby deserved something like that. And, hell, maybe Tommy did too.
Music started to play, a song Tommy recognized but couldn’t place, and the twins walked down in front of them, Zoe sprinkling pale flower petals from her little basket, Max concentrating on the satin pillow in his hands with their rings tied together as Colleen took her seat in the front, next to Mike and Collin and Carrie and Davey, right in front of Gene and Gavin and Ben. And Cal. On Bobby’s side, Judy sat in front, next to an empty seat, a placeholder for Bobby’s father, and beside that was Bobby’s partner and his wife, next to a guy Tommy had only met a few times, Bobby’s best friend from school. Behind them was a sea of blue, and Tommy wanted to laugh because the only time that many cops showed up for one of his family functions was if someone fired a gun.
Once they got to the end, Judy’s friend, who also happened to be a minister, stood patiently with a small smile on his face. Zoe hugged Bobby’s legs, and Max glanced to Colleen before stepping aside.
“You ready?” Bobby whispered.
“Been ready. You?”
“Same,” he said, patting the top of Zoe’s head before she pulled away and went to sit on Mike’s lap.
The minister ran through the greeting and said a few things, and it was all a blur for Tommy. Until the guy asked, “Did you prepare your vows?”
Not exactly. But Tommy was up, so no time for regrets. “Kinda,” he said with a nod, getting a chuckle from the minister and a few others in the crowd. Bobby rolled his eyes, but his expression was fond, amused. Tommy cleared his throat. “I been racking my brain tryin’ to think of what I should say up here. Because whatever it is, it’s gotta be special, right? And true. ’Cause you’re special to me, Bobby. In a way I didn’t know a person could be special. And I don’t make promises I might not be able to keep, so what’s that leave?” He took a breath, bit his lip between his teeth before going on. “I can’t tell ya I’ll never fuck up, because I don’t have the best track record for that, so that’s off the table.”
When Gene muttered, “Understatement of the decade,” Tommy almost flipped him off, but he stopped himself and simply huffed a laugh.
“Fine. I guess I’m tellin’ you right now, I will fuck up. Sometimes I’ll probably fuck up big. So big you might not wanna look at me. So big, you might think this was a mistake. So, now’s your chance, copper. Because after this—after we say it and sign the shit—that’s it. You’re it. For me. Been it for me for a while now. And I promise you I’ll never walk away from us. I’ll never give up on us. I’ll never give up on you.” And for some reason, this last bit was the hardest to say. The lump in Tommy’s throat almost didn’t let the words out. “You’re my favorite. My favorite color is right there in your eyes, and every song I like is because I heard it with you, food I ate with you. Because for the first fucking time in my life, I don’t just wanna survive. I wanna live. With you. And that’s my promise. I’ll live with you and be with you and grow old with you. And no matter what comes at us, I’ll be right beside you, loving you till I die. Maybe longer than that.”
Bobby let out a wet sigh, his eyes shimmering, closer to tears than Tommy had maybe ever seen him.
“Fuck you, Tom,” he whispered, laughing softly. “I had everything written out, even some stupid poem that doesn’t really mean anything when I measure it against us—what we’ve been through, what we’ll go through, what we mean to each other. So, yeah. I’ll fuck up too. Hopefully not as badly as you because I like my view from the high ground.”
Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle because, yeah, Bobby had his flag planted on the moral high ground and would probably never give up that spot.
“But I’ll fuck up. I can’t even promise to never get mad or never eat cookies in bed or never walk away in the middle of a fight. But I promise I’ll always come back if I do. I promise I’ll love you and be with you and grow old with you, and I’ll do it all for you. For us. For our family. I’ll do anything I have to. Because you’re my favorite too.”
Tommy let out a tight exhale and leaned his forehead against Bobby’s, took both his hands and held tight. “I love you,” he whispered.
“Love you too, Tom.”
And Tommy barely heard it when the minister asked if they’d stay together through sickness and health, rich or poor, be faithful to one another. He simply muttered a quiet “I do,” and Bobby did the same because, hell, they were already together for all of that.
Max wedged himself between them, held his pillow up over his head for them to take their rings when the time came. Tommy hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t thought he’d feel different when Bobby slid that band over his finger, when he did the same for Bobby. But he did. Somehow. In some small way. More connected to Bobby than he had been a moment earlier. More connected to him than he’d ever been. And he hoped that feeling would last, would be there forever.
Tears started to carve a slow track down his cheeks from behind closed eyes, and when the minister told them they could kiss, that they were married, Bobby slid his hands up Tommy’s arms, over his shoulders, threaded his fingers through Tommy’s hair, and pressed their lips together in a slow, soft kiss. One that Tommy would probably remember for his whole life because it was perfect and right and real and held every emotion, every good thing that ever existed.
People clapped and hooted and made jokes, and Tommy didn’t hear a word of it, just sank himself into that kiss and grinned against Bobby’s mouth before they pulled back, hand in hand.
“Think anyone would notice now if we sneak off?” Tommy asked with a laugh.
“We’ve got twenty minutes while people clear these chairs and move everything to the reception area.” They’d roped off the other side yard for the reception, with tables and a small portable dance area, a stand for the DJ—well, DJ was a stretch. One of Mike’s friends with speakers and a playlist on his phone. Tommy would probably regret that, but for now, he didn’t care.
“We can do a lot with twenty minutes,” he said, even as Zoe ran to him, wanting to be picked up. Bobby hefted Max onto his hip, and Tommy swung Zoe around with a little kiss for her before Judy, mercifully, came and got both of them.
“Let your… let Tommy and Bobby have a minute, and then we’ll see them in a bit for cake,” she said before hugging Bobby. She looked at Tommy, laughing. “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard fuck in wedding vows.”
“Did you really expect that to go any differently?”
“No. And I’m glad you’re still you,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before pulling away. “You two go freshen up and then come join everyone for the reception.”
“Will do,” Tommy said and dragged Bobby back into the house, through the living room, and off to the side through the door to the apartment, Bobby laughing the entire way.
He looked like he was about to say something, but Tommy pressed him up against the door as soon as they closed it, ground his hips against Bobby’s, took his mouth in a kiss so deep he couldn’t breathe or think or care about a single goddamn thing other than the warmth of Bobby’s skin, the palm of Bobby’s hand touching Tommy’s where their fingers were laced together. “You’re my husband,” Tommy whispered when he pulled back, words he’d never thought he’d say, not in his wildest dreams. But since getting together with Bobby, there were a million things he never thought he’d say, and he said them all the time now.