Chapter Sixteen
Gavin
Gavin stood in the kitchen, throwing some dinner together. He and Tina had gone to the clinic earlier. They did an exam, confirmed she was pregnant—due in July—and asked her if she knew what her options were. Tina had told them she knew and she’d thought a lot about everything, but that she wanted to keep her baby. It broke Gavin’s heart, the way she said it, as though she were asking for permission. Thankfully, the nurse helping her was kind and patient. She handed Tina a stack of pamphlets about prenatal care and birthing classes, teen parent support groups, nutrition… Gavin couldn’t even keep track of them all. They also helped her get set up with medical and found her a doctor not too far from the apartment. Afterward, they stopped and picked up a few things—some comfortable clothes and better shoes, which was all Tina would allow him to buy, promising to pay him and Ben back.
All in all, it was a productive day.
He hadn’t heard from Ben since before they left, but maybe that was a good thing. Gavin had already texted him once, asking if Ben would be home for dinner, but he hadn’t gotten a response. Wherever Ben was, he was either unconscious or still needed some time to sort through his issues so he could come home and (hopefully) not be a dick for a few hours of his life. Gavin tried not to worry, but it wasn’t like Ben to ignore him when he reached out. They weren’t exactly on even footing just yet. He hoped Ben just needed to blow off a little steam, maybe have a beer, get into a fight. Something.
“I tossed a load of laundry in to wash,” Tina said when she came into the kitchen. “I hope that’s okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Gavin said as he grated some cheese. He hadn’t decided what to make for dinner, but it was going to be cheesy, apparently. “Think we’d make you run around in dirty clothes?” he teased.
She smiled at him and asked, “Can I do anything to help?”
“I think I have it under control.” Gavin looked over his shoulder at the avocados on the counter and changed his mind. “You remember how to make guacamole?” he asked.
Tina nodded, beamed at Gavin, and got to work.
Ben got home just as Gavin pulled the nacho casserole from the oven. He told himself he’d have to make something that wasn’t a casserole soon, but today wasn’t that day. When Ben didn’t walk into the kitchen, say it smelled good, talk about how hungry he was, Gavin tensed. He wasn’t up for any more fighting, wasn’t up for Ben to brood and stalk around the apartment until he figured out how to say what he wanted to say.
But then Ben poked his head around the corner. “Where’s Tina?”
“Why?” Gavin asked. Had he narrowed his eyes? Probably.
Ben only shrugged. “There’s only so many places she could be and she’s not in here, so…”
Gavin prickled with annoyance, but then he realized, Ben didn’t seem hopeful about her not being there. He seemed… well, the opposite, whatever that was. “She’s taking a nap. I didn’t think you’d mind if she used your bed.”
Ben took a deep breath and looked like he bit his tongue. “I don’t mind her taking a nap in our bed, Gav.” With another heavy exhale, he added, “Or on the couch or on the floor if she likes. Or using our bathroom or eating our food or… hell, anything she needs, okay?”
The tension that had built in Gavin’s shoulders eased. “Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“You’re not gonna be a dick to her anymore?”
Ben pressed his lips together between his teeth. It looked to Gavin like he bit down so hard he might draw blood. Ben let out a deep breath “I’m tryin’, Gav.”
“Okay.” Coming from Ben, that meant something and Gavin knew it.
Tina walked in then. Probably felt a shift in the Force and woke in a panic. But she looked a little more rested, which Gavin figured was a good thing. “Did we wake you?” Gavin asked.
“No, I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes.”
Ben didn’t say anything at first, only walked back into the living room where Gavin couldn’t see him. “Hey, um,” Ben said hesitantly. “Tina?”
She turned toward him but didn’t walk far from Gavin. “Yeah?” She sounded terrified, and Gavin wanted to smack Ben all over again.
When Ben came back into Gavin’s line of sight, he had a small shopping bag with him.
“Look, um…” Ben reached into the bag and pulled out a small stack of things before dropping the bag onto the floor. “I know what I said earlier sounded… I mean, I meant it, right? But you’re… I don’t want you to think…” He paused and muttered a curse. “Here,” he said finally as he thrust what looked like a baby blanket at Tina. “You’ve got some serious shit to deal with and… even if Gavin wasn’t here, I’d help you, okay? You’ve got a home here and… I worry about Gavin—worry about everything—but that’s not your fault and you didn’t do anything and I don’t mean to take it out on you.” He paused for a breath before adding, “You’re welcome here. That’s all I’m trying to say.” His tone didn’t sound very welcoming, but Gavin knew that was just Ben’s frustration with himself seeping through.
Tina looked even more shocked, even more scared than when Gavin had first seen her the day before. She stared at the items in her hand as if Ben had just lobbed a grenade at her. Then she ran her fingers over the fuzzy fabric, picked up the small stuffed animal. When she read the cover of the DVD that was tucked in with the other stuff, she laughed softly.
“My sister recommended it, said it’d be good for you.” He pushed the bag with his foot and slid it closer to her. “There’s one of those big balls in there, supposed to help with… stuff.”
Gavin wanted to say something, wanted to tell Tina what a Big Fucking Deal this was. He wanted to throw his arms around Ben and hug him, toss out the dinner he’d made and grill a steak for Ben, bake him his favorite cookies, but instead he watched Tina. Her chin quivered and she took a shaky breath before she hurled herself at Ben. She wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck so quickly, so tightly, Gavin wondered if Ben could still breathe. “Thanks, Ben,” she whispered, just barely loud enough for Gavin to hear.
Ben patted her back awkwardly before slowly wrapping one arm around her, then the other. Before anyone knew it, Ben and Tina were hugging in the middle of the dining room. “You’re welcome?” he said finally. His words sounded like a question and, Gavin could tell just from looking at him, that Ben wanted to be in another country—another solar system—rather than there, hugging Tina, but he didn’t budge. He stood there and let her sniffle on his shoulder until she pulled back.
“Sorry,” she said, wiping her eyes. “It’s just the hormones, I think.”
“Yeah, Anna was the same way.” Ben looked so relieved to reclaim his personal space, Gavin half expected him to leave again. Instead he said, “If you’d rather get a class for all that, I’m sure we can find one.” He pointed to the DVD and added, “But I thought you might like it better without an audience, so… yeah.”
Tina nodded, her ponytail swaying with the motion. “Yeah, definitely better with a little privacy, I think.”
Of all the things he’d expected from Ben that evening, this wasn’t even near the list. Gavin watched his sister and his boyfriend muddle through together. Ben shifted his feet and looked almost bashful, Tina fidgeted with the trim on the blanket, and Gavin tried to keep his jaw from hanging open. “Dinner’ll be ready in ten,” he said. They both looked at him, relief obvious in their expressions.
“Where can I put this stuff?” Tina asked as she dropped everything back into the shopping bag.
“We’ll get some space cleared for ya soon,” Ben said before walking toward the closet in the entryway. “But you can stash anything you aren’t using in here.”
Gavin knew the spot. A small cubby on the floor where Gavin used to stick his backpack before he’d dropped out of college. He winced when he thought about that. He still hadn’t explained to Ben why he’d left, why he knew it wasn’t for him. He probably needed to address that at some point, huh?
“Thanks,” he heard Tina say.
Ben laughed softly and said, “No problem. At least you travel light, right?”
Yeah, he and Ben had some more serious talks headed their way. But Gavin decided Ben had a seriously good blowjob headed his way too. If he couldn’t argue Ben into good behavior, maybe he could train him through positive reinforcement. It was worth a shot, right? And he doubted Ben would mind.
Ben came around the corner again, a small bag in his hand. “I got us a universal.” He didn’t add anything, but he had a knowing, exasperated look on his face.