Chapter Twenty-Three
Ben
Gavin seemed cool when they woke up. Not angry exactly, but not happy either.
Yeah, Ben had fucked up. Again. Fine. But, hell. He’d been thinking about it for so long, all the good reasons they should just go ahead and get married, Ben had focused on what he thought were the important points. Okay, sure, maybe he didn’t have a bunch of big fluffy gay rainbow feelings about marriage, but he did have feelings about it.
Ben grew up in a happy home with two parents who loved each other like crazy. They fought, they laughed, sometimes they cried. But always, they loved. Ben’s father wasn’t big on sweeping romantic gestures, but who cares? His mother never seemed to mind. Ben’s mom seemed to understand that he showed his love by taking care of his family, coming home to her, never going to bed angry. What was wrong with that?
“What time is your mom getting in today?” Gavin asked without actually looking at Ben.
Right. He’d almost forgotten she was coming. When they’d first decided on a date for her month-or-more visit, it had seemed like a great idea. She could help them finish unpacking, and she would be on hand when Tina’s baby came. Tina had been reading up on everything baby related and had almost finished the birth and aftercare class, but having someone around who had hands-on experience with a real live baby seemed like a good idea.
Now, though? With Gavin giving him a chilly—if not cold—shoulder, it seemed less appealing.
“Plane lands a quarter after two.”
Gavin only nodded at first. He’d gotten up early, showered, shaved his peach fuzz, and now stood in front of the dresser pulling on a pair of jeans. “It’ll be tight, picking her up and then getting back here in time to get Tina to the birthing center for her appointment and her class.”
“I can pick Mom up.” Ben decided he should probably get up for the day too, but he still hadn’t moved.
“On the back of your bike? What’s your plan for her luggage?”
Good point. They’d finally gotten a new car—not exactly cute, but at least not ugly. Gavin didn’t hate it and Ben could afford it. Another score for compromise. “Yeah, okay. Do you mind picking her up, or should I get her a shuttle?”
“I’ll get her.” Gavin turned to look at him finally. “But you need to stay here since the new refrigerator is being dropped off today. Don’t let them leave without that old piece of shit. They’re supposed to haul it away for free, but my friend who recommended them told me when she bought from them, they tried to leave her old one and then tried to charge her for taking it.”
“Why did we buy from them if they’re shady?”
“Because they’re also really cheap.”
Great. “Okay, I’ll stand around and intimidate the delivery guys.”
He actually got a laugh from Gavin. Victory. Ben decided to seize the moment. He got up and went to him, wrapped his arms around Gavin’s waist.
Gavin tensed in his hold at first, but after a moment, he slid his hands up Ben’s chest and then clasped them behind Ben’s neck. He let Ben kiss him, but he didn’t deepen it, didn’t respond beyond allowing Ben to touch their lips together.
“Hey,” Ben whispered, pulling Gavin more tightly to him. “In case I didn’t mention it last night, I love you. Like, a lot. Just so ya know.”
He felt Gavin’s breath ease, felt the tension in Gavin melt away. “Okay,” Gavin whispered, a smile playing on his full lips.
“Okay? Not, I love you too and I’ll marry you?”
Gavin’s smile turned into a grin, teasing and playful. “How about I love you too and I’ll think about it?”
“How about you’re a pain in the ass?”
As Ben laughed, leaning in for another kiss, Gavin said, “I know you are, but I love you anyway.”
He smacked Gavin’s backside for that, but then Ben tightened his grip on him and lifted Gavin off his feet. Maybe they were both a pain in the ass, so maybe they deserved each other. Ben hoped so, at any rate.
Gavin squirmed and pushed Ben back, laughing the whole time. Ben let him go and nearly followed him out of the room until he remembered he was still completely naked.
“I guess I should jump in the shower.”
“And maybe put some clothes on? If you go into the kitchen like that, you’ll scare Tina into labor.”
Ben went through his morning routine with a smile on his face. He might’ve even whistled in the shower.
He found Gavin in the kitchen, putting a bowl of oatmeal next to a glass of juice and a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. Ben frowned but didn’t say anything as he sat down.
Gavin narrowed his eyes as he set a little dish full of grapes and blueberries in front of Ben’s seat. “It’s good for you. Don’t complain.”
“Who’s complaining? I didn’t say a word.”
“You didn’t have to. Your face said where’s the bacon for you.”
“I can’t help it if my face wants bacon.”
Gavin snorted a laugh and sat down across from him. “If you’re so worried about dying, I figure it’s time for us to start eating better.”
Ben could only grunt in response. He’d quit hard drinking a long time ago, only tied one on every year or so now. He’d quit smoking, quit doing drugs. Food was one of the few pleasures he had left. And coffee. He took a deep sip from his mug and then set it away from Gavin. “Why live longer if you can’t enjoy it?”
With a roll of his eyes, Gavin countered, “So we can have still have sex when you’re ninety?”
“Good point.” He tucked into his breakfast while Gavin ate a piece of toast and picked at the fruit between them at the table. Oatmeal was surprisingly filling, not too bad, even if it wasn’t, ya know, bacon. “Where’s Tina?”
“She’s sorting through another box of baby clothes from Anna.” Gavin hopped up when a timer went off in the kitchen. He pulled a pan of what appeared to be muffins out of the oven. “We should probably get her and the kids out here sometime so they can meet in person, ya know?”
Ben liked the idea. “Maybe wait until Ma heads home so there’s two rooms for them?”
“Yeah, maybe before school starts. Or on winter break or something?”
Summer was almost upon them, really. It was already the first week of June. “Thought about what you want for your birthday yet?”
Gavin’s cheeks pinked slightly and he bit his lip around a grin. “Yeah, actually. I think I finally decided on a tattoo I want…”
For some reason Ben had always been hesitant about inking Gavin. Which was weird. Usually he loved getting a virgin on his table. Fresh canvas and all. And Gavin’s body was so beautiful. But that was part of the problem. It would have to be perfect because Gavin was perfect. Not to mention if Ben fucked it up, he’d never hear the end of it. “Gonna tell me what it is?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell ya on my birthday.”
“You sure? If you tell me now, we could start working out the design.”
“It’s not that complicated, and I wanna be sure before I tell you.”
“Fair enough.” Ben took another bite of his breakfast before asking, “Anything else you want?”
“A cake I don’t have to bake myself.”
“Then you shouldn’t complain about every bakery in the city.” Ben wagered it wouldn’t be too hard to get his mom to whip something up, maybe get Tina in on it too.
They laughed and talked for a few more minutes, and Ben felt like his life was pretty damn perfect as he finished his breakfast.
Gavin rinsed the dishes and stuck them in the dishwasher. “I’ve got a couple errands before I head to get your mom.” He went to Ben and pressed a kiss to his scruffy cheek. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”
Ben watched him go. Gavin had a strangely determined look on his face as he left, as if he were heading out to battle. An anxious awareness settled in the pit of Ben’s stomach. Whatever Gavin had on his mind, whatever he wasn’t saying, hung in the air after he left, like ozone before a big storm. Ben didn’t know what it was about, but he knew he didn’t like it.
So much for his perfect life.