Chapter Twenty-Five
Ben
Ben stood in Tina’s doorway. The guys had delivered the fridge, set it up, and taken away the old one without a question. Now, he watched as Tina folded little white onesies and paired tiny socks together. “You find some stuff ya like?”
Tina’s grin answered for her, but she looked up and nodded. “I can’t believe how much she sent.” Six boxes. His sister was the most organized pack rat on the planet. “I wish the baby had been in the right position on that last ultrasound. I wanted to know if it’s a boy or a girl.”
Ben hadn’t admitted it to anyone, but he’d wanted to know too. “Surprises are good too, right?”
With a laugh, and one of Gavin’s classic shrugs, Tina said, “This whole year has been one surprise after another.” She ran her hand down her round belly and looked like she might cry. Ben cringed. He hated it when Gavin came home and found Tina crying.
“Hey, it’s—”
“I meant that in a good way.” She laughed. Thank God. She sniffled too, but she laughed. Ben was safe. For the moment, at least.
“Okay, good. And kiddo is healthy, so no bad surprises, right?”
She only nodded and smiled again.
“Gavin just texted. I guess my mom’s plane is late, so, uh…”
Tina looked at the little flower-shaped clock on her nightstand. “Shoot, I’ll be late for my checkup.”
“Any chance you can reschedule?”
“Yeah, probably, but the last class is tonight too. They were going to go over positions and breathing and stuff.”
That sounded pretty important. “Well, it would take almost an hour to get a cab out here. I haven’t tried Uber or anything before—we could maybe do that?” Ben wasn’t sure how that worked, but he figured he could look it up easily enough. “It’s a really short ride on the back of my bike…” Oh, Gavin would kill him.
Tina worried her lip between her teeth, looking like she was considering it. “Gavin made me promise not to ride on the bike.”
“Yeah, he threatened me with…” Tina probably didn’t need to know the exact wording of Gavin’s threat. “Well, bodily harm. But I’m not seeing a lot of other options. Tony and most everyone we know is at work right now, so…”
He hadn’t crashed a bike since he was Tina’s age, and that was because he was too stupid and too young and felt invincible.
When it looked like Tina might agree, when she stood up and grabbed her purse, Ben went on autopilot to the front closet. He grabbed his thick, padded jacket for her, reached for Gavin’s helmet, but every worst-case scenario he’d ever heard started to play on a loop in his head. Damn it all. It’s not like they were in the middle of a life-or-death emergency, right?
Tina was right behind him when he turned around. “Ya know, on second thought. How about you call and see if you can get your appointment moved to after the class? Then we can just stroll over there, right? It’s a short ride, so the walk can’t be that bad. Or I could just do the Uber thing.”
God, she looked relieved. “I’ve walked there before. It’s nice, and it’s good for the baby. There’s even a park with benches on the way if I need to rest.”
He nodded and shoved his gear back into the closet.
A few minutes later, they were on their way. Tina had called and they were able to move her appointment to the following day. Apparently the nurse was emphatically against her riding a motorbike anywhere. So, okay, good call on his part.
Tina looked up at him as they walked, shielding her eyes from the bright sun overhead. “Why the long sleeves?” Fair question, given how warm it was.
“Ink can fade in the sun, or get blotchy and look like shit, then I have to touch it up. It’s easier to just wear lightweight shirts.”
She nodded and asked, “Does it hurt? While you’re doing it, I mean. It looks like it would hurt.”
“Sometimes. Some more than others. Neck hurts, back of the arm, but it’s not too bad. I’ve seen guys cry like little girls on my table, and I’ve had other people fall asleep. Just depends on the person, I guess.” He glanced down at her, watched the way she held her hand under her belly like she was trying to support it. “What about that?” Ben nodded toward her. “That looks a lot more uncomfortable.”
“Sometimes,” she echoed with a small laugh. “It’s kinda cool, though. He moves all the time now.”
“He?”
“Well, mostly I just feel weird saying ‘it’ all the time.”
“But you think it’s a boy?”
Tina nodded, but she looked embarrassed too. “I think so. I mean, I know I can’t really know, but…”
“Mom thinks so too,” Ben told her, as if it were a secret. “The last picture I sent, she texted me back and said you were probably having a boy. Something about how high it is or something.”
Her expression brightened, like she needed the confirmation that it was okay to speculate. “I mean, I don’t care either way, but it’d be cool to be right.”
“It’d be cool to prove me and Gavin wrong too.” They’d been betting the baby would be a girl for weeks now.
Tina laughed then. “Yeah, that too.” She turned off the sidewalk onto a footpath. “It’s faster if we cut through the park.”
Ben followed along, glad for the shade. “You don’t come through here alone, I hope.”
“I used to, but some guy looked like he was following me once, so I haven’t done it again.”
Jesus. The problem with giving a shit about people was the constant worry about their well-being. Ben felt a wave of nausea hit him as they turned another bend on the path. “You said there was a place to sit down around here?”
Tina nodded and led the way. They took a seat on an uncomfortable bench under a leafy tree. The breeze felt good as Tina pulled out her water bottle and took a long sip. “You okay?” she asked with a sideways glance at Ben.
“Yeah, fine. Just… don’t do shit like that, okay?”
“Like what?”
“Walk off on your own and…” He couldn’t even let himself think the rest, let alone say it.
With a small smile, Tina said, “Gavin always says you’re protective.”
“He usually says it like it’s a bad thing.”
Laughing, Tina actually leaned against him. “Only when you’re around.” They sat quietly for a moment, and then Tina shocked the hell out of him. “Do you think it’s dumb? I mean, having the baby and keeping it and all…”
Why the hell would she even ask that? God. Truth was, on paper it was a terrible idea. “I can’t answer that for ya.”
“I know, and, I mean, it doesn’t really matter at this point, but… what do you actually think about it?”
Ben took a deep breath, knowing he was about to tread into some seriously dangerous waters. “I think… I think kids having kids always sounds like a bad idea. I think being a single parent is gonna be hard, harder than you realize.” He chanced a glance at Tina’s face. To his surprise, she wasn’t looking sad or hurt, only thoughtful. “But… who the hell am I to say, right? I think me and Gavin probably sound like a terrible idea to people—he’s too young for me, I’m too… whatever the hell I am for him. We’re a bad bet all the way around, but I think we’ll be okay. I think you will too.” He’d finally managed to say the right thing in the right moment. Bonus point for actually meaning it.
Tina nodded again. “I think so too.” After another moment, she said, “Thanks, Ben. For, ya know, letting me stay and all.”
“You’re Gavin’s family. That’s what ya do with family.” Ben remembered too late that not all families were alike. She and Gavin had gotten a raw deal from theirs. Suddenly, Ben was glad he could be there to help make up for it.
When they stood again, Tina laced her fingers through Ben’s. She seemed like such a little girl, with such a big burden, it hurt him somewhere deep inside. He managed a smile for her, but his dislike for the people who raised her doubled.