Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Caelian sat alone in the gardens, perched on the edge of one of the fountains outside House Celestine.
She’d sat there before many times, usually in the evening and always alone.
Most often she’d been crying, and she preferred this spot because it was shrouded from view.
No one could see or hear her. The moonstone fountain was surrounded by a curving wall of climbing powder blue roses and tiny white flowers.
There were green shrubberies shaped like spires, bursting lilacs, and an overhang of wisteria.
She inhaled, breathing in the familiar scents, though now it reminded her heavily of perfume.
Floral. Heady. Suffocating. The warm, late midsummer breeze ruffled her hair, and tiny droplets of fountain water landed upon her shoulder, but it was nothing compared to the balmy air of Wenfyre and the tangy spray of the sea.
She toed off her leather slippers and swung her feet, trying to distract herself from the fact that she was the reason Queen Elowyn had such a deep connection to Aeramere’s land.
That she could so easily poison it, that she could use it against them.
There had to be a way to reverse it, to take it back.
For two days she’d been scouring texts and books, Asher had even given her full use of his library, and still she’d found nothing on the subject.
But she had to be missing something, there must be an element she’d not yet realized. A loophole she’d not yet discovered.
Whatever it was, she would find it.
Just like she found out the truth about her mother.
Caelian tipped her head back, and rays of morning sunlight slanted across her, warming her skin.
Thinking about Trysta dredged up a well of tumultuous emotions she wasn’t ready to face.
She imagined it would take quite some time to sort through her feelings on the matter, to cope with the truth she never expected.
It was a fragile thing, one’s heart. Full of tiny, delicate pieces.
Some sharp. Some dull. Some bright and bursting.
Some fractured and broken. But it continued to beat.
No matter the shape, or size, or if it had been broken and fused back together a thousand times over, it still continued to beat.
She heard the footsteps first, but she wasn’t expecting the voice that accompanied them.
“There you are.” Ariesian stepped out from around the wall of roses, his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants. Everything about him was polished and crisp, from the stiff collar of his shirt to the smooth coiffure of his hair. “I was looking for you.”
Caelian gripped the ledge of the fountain with both hands, swinging her feet slightly. “You found me.”
“I had some help,” he admitted, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. “I may have asked your husband to track you for me.”
All the air pushed from her lungs in one long exhale. “Of course you did.”
Two days, and she was too afraid to breathe the same air as her siblings for fear they blamed her for the queen’s corrupt hold on the realm as much as she blamed herself. Two days, and she’s not been able to look any of them in the eyes. Two days, and the remorse was enough to ravage her soul.
Ariesian strolled toward her, his manner casual and easy, despite his refined outward appearance. “Your friend arrives today. Lira Nightbloom, I believe.”
“I’m aware.” She focused on the ground at her feet, on the inlay of indigo, silver, and violet swirls of crystal that formed a mosaic of stars around the fountain. “I’m looking forward to seeing her again.”
She couldn’t wait to see Lira again, but it was difficult to feel excitement, or joy, or anything at all, when she couldn’t dislodge the boulder of guilt pinned between her shoulders.
“It’s not your fault.”
Caelian blinked up at her brother, certain she’d misheard him. “Pardon?”
“It’s not your fault, Caelian. None of this is your fault, and no one blames you.
” Ariesian knelt on the ground before her and captured her hands, forcing her to meet his gaze.
His silver eyes were full of love and concern, of pride and empathy.
His face was open, relaying the full depth of his emotions.
This was no longer the Lord of House Celestine, but her brother, Aries, who would do anything to ensure the happiness of his siblings.
Who would do anything to keep her safe. “You were a child, Cae. It’s not your fault. ”
A knot of emotion was lodged in the back of her throat, and she pressed her lips into a hard line to keep from crying.
“It’s not your fault.” He squeezed her hands in earnest. “Say it.”
“It’s not…” Caelian’s voice cracked. She swallowed hard and tried again, shaking her head once. “It’s not my fault.”
“I want you to believe it when you say it.” Ariesian nodded. “Again.”
“It’s not my fault.” Her voice was stronger this time, and a small, wishful part of her knew he was speaking the truth. Caelian heaved herself off the fountain ledge and into his arms. “It’s not my fault.”
He rocked back but remained firmly grounded, holding her in the strength of his embrace. “I am so sorry if I ever made you feel less than, or as though you were unworthy. It was never my intention to hurt you so deeply. I only wanted to protect you from…”
His tone shifted and his voice trailed off.
“From any lords who might see me as weak and vulnerable?” she suggested, understanding why he wanted her far from Aeramere during Midsummer.
“Exactly.” Ariesian huffed out the word. He climbed to his feet, bringing her with him, and when he planted his hands upon her shoulders, his gaze searched hers, pleading with her to understand. “You must know there are people out there, especially some males, who wish us harm. Who wish me harm.”
“I know.” Caelian nodded, for though they were few and far between, she’d heard such dreadful wishes before. And promptly ignored them.
“If they thought they could get to me through you, they would. Which is why I’ve been very selective about the marriages of our siblings.” He released her then and scrubbed one hand over his face. “If only some of them were not so damn stubborn.”
She didn’t ask because she knew he was talking about Nyxian. About his wedding tomorrow, to Lady Aria Skyhelm.
“And what are your thoughts on my marriage to General Holtstrom?” she asked, because even though they didn’t ask Ariesian’s permission, she still wanted his approval.
“He is a fine choice.” Ariesian smiled, and it was so rarely seen, Caelian had forgotten how handsome it made him when he was at ease. “So long as he makes you happy.”
“He does.” She hugged her brother again. “Very happy.”
Ariesian kissed the top of her head. “Then I’m glad for it.”
“As am I.” Kjeld’s rough voice sounded, and Caelian pulled away to find him leaning against a smooth pillar, watching her with a lazy smile on his face. His summer blue eyes landed on Ariesian, and his features softened with gratitude. “Thank you for trusting her with me.”
Ariesian straightened, his chest expanding on his next breath, as the lightness of his expression was absorbed beneath a veneer of impassivity. Caelian watched as her brother transformed into the epitome of nobility, Lord Starstorm.
He inclined his head, tucking his hands behind his back. “Of course. I could not have wished for someone more worthy.”
It was a high compliment coming from Ariesian, and without sparing her or Kjeld another glance, he left them alone in the gardens.
“I worry for him.” The admission slipped from her before she could stop it, and Kjeld closed the distance between them in two long strides, pulling her into his arms.
“Aye, and you would not be the only one.” His large palms skated up and down her waist. “It would not surprise me in the least if all of your siblings, except for maybe Nyxian, though I’m sure he’ll come around, are worried for Ariesian.
His responsibilities are great, and if he reclaims your bloodright… then heavy is the crown.”
Caelian draped her arms over his broad shoulders and stared up at the male who owned every crevice of her heart and the entirety of her soul.
The one who understood her, who saw her, who looked beyond what she presented to the world.
And she knew he would never leave her side.
“Ariesian has always been there for us, he basically helped to raise us. He stepped up as a father figure, stepped into his title, all of it without hesitation. When the time comes, I will not fail him, none of us will.”
Kjeld captured her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Whatever path you walk, whatever oath you take, I will follow. Where you go, I go.”
She rose up on her toes and lightly pressed her lips to his, meeting the intensity of his gaze. “Right now, I would like to go to the docks. I hear Lira will be arriving soon.”
He nodded. “That she will.”
Caelian searched his eyes, looking for the truth. Her bottom lip trembled and her voice quivered when she asked, “Promise me we’ll go back?”
She didn’t have to say where, because they both knew she meant home.
To Wenfyre. To the Myrkwild.
To the river that kept memories and the bay where wishes were born.
“I swear it.” His grip on her tightened. “As soon as we’re finished here, as soon as your family and all of Aeramere are safe, we’ll go back. For good.”
Caelian sighed into him, melting until their breathing was even and the beating of their hearts became one. “You are all I’ve ever wanted, Kjeld. I’ve known you were meant to be mine since the first day we met. You were my wish upon every star.”
Kjeld cupped her cheeks, rough palms against smooth skin. “You are my home. My Valorahan. My eternity.”
He kissed her then, a gentle press of the lips, a tempting slide of his tongue. Then he was scooping her off her feet and lifting her into his arms, leaving her shoes behind.
Caelian squealed, grasping at his vest while he strode through the gardens. “You’re going the wrong way! The docks are in the other direction.”
“It’s been three days,” he grumbled. “Lira can wait a few more hours.”
A laugh bubbled out of Caelian. “And where are we going then?”
“There’s a faerie pool around here somewhere.” Kjeld glanced down at her and winked, his dimples sending a rush of heat to her core. “Besides, if you want four or five babies, then we better get started. I’ve heard these things can take forever.”
Caelian dragged Kjeld’s mouth back down to hers, melting into the kiss that sent a rush of tingles coursing through her, causing her blood to sing and hum. Because she couldn’t think of a single better way to spend forever.