Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JANIE
I try on several different outfits Friday night before finally deciding to keep it casual. I doubt Bittern has good clothes, and we’re just going down to the honky tonk joint. This needs to feel causal. I don’t want to come across as desperate or put unnecessary pressure on him.
When I wake Saturday morning, I look up bitterns on my phone, which leads to me flipping through pages of info on common birds of Montana. That leads to me putting down my phone, getting a coffee, and taking myself for a walk so I can clear my head and stop obsessing over him.
I am obsessing, a little bit.
My fingers interlace around my coffee as I move along the southern fence line.
Down the hill, I can make out the dark shapes of cattle, followed by the swiftly moving dots I know to be wranglers.
I wonder if one of them is Bittern, already up and working hard.
Like the universe can read my mind, one of them stops and takes off his hat, and even from this far away, I can tell it’s him by the glint of sun on his blond head.
My stomach flutters, like I went over a dip in the road.
I’m screwed. The longer I think about it, the more it sinks in.
If I go out with him and we end up breaking it off, I’m going to be torn up. Hell, I’ll probably be back in the city, crying in my pillow, before the end of the day. But if it does work, and we can scale the barriers between us, then…well, I’ve got a lot to think about in my future.
My eyes sweep over the mountains. An ache returns to my chest.
Bittern aside, I already have a lot to think about.
I’ve been ignoring the truth, but it’s looking me dead in the eyes now.
The thought of leaving this ranch sits so cold in my chest, and I want to listen to what my heart is telling me, but there’s a dozen reasons why I can’t give into homesickness and drop everything, run home like a kid.
My eyes sting. I blink hard.
Time to find something to distract myself before I start bawling in the middle of the yard.