Chapter 11 Melbourne #2
It’s a common misconception that “nice people” are either less tough or less smart than assholes.
Make no mistake: Priya is a badass, and practically a genius.
Her steady kindness is a superpower. She reads voraciously (mostly nonfiction), speaks three languages, and isn’t afraid to go in swinging when she sees injustice or cruelty.
But that dutiful compassion isn’t just her superpower, it’s also been her consistent Achilles’ heel.
Watching her with Jules right now, I know I once again have been careless with her.
I was unfair and surly and pushed her away.
What’s my damned problem that I always do this?
Just like with my parents, any love going to my brother feels like less for me, and I took that out on Priya.
I’m on the outside of this situation with Jules because I chose to be here.
It’s fucking lonely.
Even looking like four miles of bad road, Julian sends a winning look Alexander’s way, half standing and reaching across the table for a handshake. “I’m Julian. Nice to meet you. Wish it were under better circumstances.”
“Alexander Laskaris.” He glances at me, then back at my brother. “I’m more than willing to take my leave if you’d prefer privacy.”
Priya mutters, “Yes, thanks,” but at the same time Jules says, “If Sage wants you here for this conversation, there must be some reason. I’m going to trust that she trusts you.”
“No!” Priya snaps, exasperated. She glares at me. “Obviously he needs to go. He’s not family just because you saw him without his pants. Can’t you set him outside the door now that you’re done with him? Maybe the hotel has a pickup service, like with the laundry.”
I can’t help laughing, and for a second I’m relieved because I think Pri’s giving me a “you’re forgiven” in, joking around, but the look on her face strangles the laughter right out of me. She’s pissed, and it’ll take more than humor to thaw her.
My brother slides his cast-bearing hand beneath Priya’s, and I know it’s partly in a comforting way, but I suspect it’s also a reminder to her of his wounded status, so she’ll back off. I’ve seen this strategy from him a million times. Jules can be massively passive-aggressive.
“Pri, baby… we talked about this last night and I told you I’m ready to be honest. You said I don’t have any reason to be ashamed.”
“This isn’t about shame,” she insists. “It’s discretion.”
He holds up both hands like a scale balancing. “Discretion, secrets…” He shrugs, and I want to smack him, because for fuck’s sake, there’s a difference. I try to catch Priya’s eye so I can show her that I’m on her side with this one, but she won’t look at me, and my heart sinks.
“So, this”—Julian points at his battered face, addressing Alexander and me—“happened night before last, because I got robbed while I was trying to buy pills.”
Well, shit. So much for discretion.
The image of Julian getting the crap beat out of him flashes in my mind, and I have a full-body wave of wanting to tear whoever it was apart for hurting my brother.
But I don’t let my guard down, because he brought this on himself, didn’t he?
What the hell was he thinking, buying dope off some rando in a foreign country?
I’m sure it means he didn’t even report it.
Jules tells Alexander, “I’m, y’know, hooked on them. Physically dependent.”
Alexander just nods.
I wave vaguely toward Julian’s eyes. “Docs must’ve given you the good shit when you went to the ER. You look high as balls.”
He’s both hurt and mad, and shoots back, “Nice, Sage. Once again, you win. More points for the champion. You’re right—I did take the prescription they offered.
Because in addition to this awesome makeover, I have a cracked rib and two broken fingers from when I was stomped, trying to keep them from stealing Dad’s watch, because you gave it to him. ”
“The Carrera Tourbillon?” I blurt out. “What the fuck were you doing with it?” Ugh, that’s the exact wrong thing to say, and I know it immediately.
Priya’s hands dive into her thick, dark hair in frustration. “Why are you so awful?!” she wails at me.
I fold my arms. “All right all right all right, I’m fucking sorry.” After a pause, I force the question out. “Are you, uh, okay and stuff?” I ask Jules.
“Never better, thanks,” he deadpans. “And I had the watch because Dad lent it to me at the airport when he dropped me off. I’d left mine at the house.”
Of course he did. Once again, my parents leapt to fix things for the Favorite Child.
I give an impatient sigh. “Okay, whatever. I can get Dad a new watch.”
“You know what you can’t buy, Sage?” Priya jumps in. “A new brother. Maybe think about that for five damned seconds.”
Normally I’d hit back with a cutting comment about the type of new brother I’d buy if I could, but I’m not eager to make things worse. Both Pri and Jules look really upset, and… I don’t know why I should care, but I also don’t want to show my worst self to Alexander.
Julian holds up his non-cast hand, claiming the floor.
“Look, I’m in love with Priya. I have been for a couple years.
It was a problem with me and Paz—it’s why we broke up.
I’m sure you think Priya’s a moron for taking a chance on me, but I’m gonna try to deserve her. Which brings me to the other issue.”
He glances at Pri, who gives a smile like a mom ushering her kid into a classroom for the first day of kindergarten.
“I’m doing rehab,” Jules continues. “A place in Switzerland. I fly out tomorrow. I’m going to fix this, Sage. I wasn’t crazy about the shit you said in February, but you were right. I’ve let this go on too long. I need help.”
Alexander has at some point put an arm around me without me noticing, and he rubs a thumb along my upper arm in a silent message of support. The ball’s in my court, but it feels like that ball is stuffed with silver nitride and will explode on contact.
I take a slow breath. “You really don’t think you can just, y’know, stop? On your own?”
Julian looks at the ceiling with a self-mocking chuckle.
“I’ve tried, believe me. Been junk-sick dozens of times.
Though it’s always when I can’t get any, not really because I decide to quit.
Every time, during the worst of it—days three and four of withdrawal—I tell myself, This is an opportunity.
I won’t start again. But once it’s available?
” He lifts his hands, helpless. “Yeah, I buy more.”
Priya speaks up, “It’s a medical problem, Sage. This isn’t ‘a habit,’ like biting your nails. He needs support. Not just rehab, but… you. Family.”
“Family?” I echo. “So you’ve told Mom and Dad? I assume they’re bankrolling it. Fuck, your ritzy Swiss treatment spa is gonna cost a mint.”
He avoids my eyes when he says, “I’ll tell them the details when I’m clean. There’s no need to worry Mom. Please don’t say anything to them.”
The way he’s picking at the edge of his cast makes me think I’m not getting the full story there. And why did he only mention Mom?
“If you haven’t told Mom and Dad, what about the money?” I ask.
“I’ve got it handled,” he says evenly.
“What does that mean?” My eyes narrow. “I know for a fact you’ve blown through most of your dough.
Mom and Dad were talking a couple months ago about bailing you outta that startup with your friend what’s-his-nuts.
So how are—” I notice the deer-like innocence on Priya’s face.
“Hold the fucking phone. Is she paying? Because if she’s using her grad school money, I’ll strangle you both. ”
“I’m helping a little,” she tells me.
“No,” I retort. “Hell no. Pri, for fuck’s sake—”
“It’s my choice! And for this to really stick, he’ll need to stay three months. The failure rate on short-term rehab is astronomical.”
“You’re not blowing your college fund, Pri. I’ll pay, got it? Just give me the info and I’ll send enough to cover it.” I point at Julian. “But I’m not giving money to you directly.”
“Sage, no. You don’t have to do that,” he says.
I suspect this is exactly where we were headed all along, and he guided us right here.
He never intended to take Pri’s money. But I’m too tired and upset and self-conscious to call him out on it.
Also, it makes Pri happy to think she was going to save him, so I’m letting her keep that, even if—once again—it was more of Julian Sikora’s trademark passive-aggressive crap.
“No shit I don’t have to do it,” I retort. “But I’m going to, so shut up.” My phone sings out with Dagna’s text tone, “Physical,” and I pick it up from the coffee table.
Dagna: I’ve sent a car for you. It’s outside the hotel now. Be here in ten minutes or I’m making you start with 100 clamshell side planks.
“Oh, fuckbuckets,” I mutter. “It’s Daggy, and she’s loaded for bear. I gotta jam.” I pop to my feet and point at Priya. “Your key card’s on the table beside your bed. And you…” I point at Julian. “Don’t fuck up this rehab thing. Otherwise I’ll deliver your next beatdown.”
He pushes to his feet with stiff effort and holds his arms open. After a pause, I meet him halfway around the table and accept a hug.
“Thanks, sis. I won’t make you regret it. And I’m going to pay you back.”
I shrug. “Like I care about the money, dumbass.”
Priya pipes up, “Julian’s staying here tonight. I’ll take him to the airport for Switzerland in the morning.”
“Whatever. Fine.” I stuff my phone into my pocket.
Alexander stands. “Shall we?”
“No need for a ride after all. There’s a car waiting, apparently.”
He looks a little bummed. “Right. I’ll walk you out, at any rate.”
I give Pri and Jules a wave and head out the door with Alexander.
Weirdly, after the emotionally depleting scene I just had to deal with, I kinda wish I could crawl into bed next to Alexander.
Like, not even in a sex way. Just order room service junk food and watch bad TV and keep having him near, hiding in a cocoon of blankets with his nice smell and his voice wrapped around me like a smooth satin bow that’s tying me together.
I think I’m glad he stayed.
I hope I don’t end up regretting it.
I peek at him as we wait for the elevator to arrive. “So, uh… I don’t suppose you’d be game for a sleepover tonight?” I ask.
He plants one hand on the wall above my shoulder, casual and sexy as hell. Oh God, those damned smoky-gray eyes of his…
“What are you asking of me, Salvia officinalis?”
“I haven’t decided yet. But I guess I want you around. Maybe just to talk. Maybe so you can read me a bedtime story and rock me to sleep. Fuck, I don’t know. Do you want a detailed schedule or something?”
He presses those delicious lips together, hiding a smile. “Happy to play it by ear, pet. I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it.”