Chapter 15
Fifteen
Shiloh
I groggily rolled my heavy head away from the grunting sound and hot breath against my ear.
“S-top,” I tried to speak, but my mouth felt like it was filled with a cotton ball.
As my mind regained consciousness, I realized there was a body rocking against mine.
Sex. Los Siete. Drugs.
“Shh,” the voice said in my ear, just loud enough that I could barely hear. “Almost done. I promise.”
I realized that he wasn’t inside me. He wasn’t even hard, his soft dick just pressed against my pubic bone as he pretended to fuck me.
His body weight suddenly lifted, and I heard him pull his pants up. I flinched, trying to open my eyes as a blanket was laid over me.
I was slowly remembering where I was and what had just happened.
“Are we done?” I asked, hoping my voice didn’t sound as weak as it did to my own ears. It was raw and hurt to speak.
“With the flesh,” I heard Carlos say with satisfaction.
I gripped the blanket around my body and gritted my teeth as I stood up from the couch. Someone grabbed my elbow, steadying my swaying body. I shrugged them off as best I could without falling over.
I could hear the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. My eyes could barely open with the swelling and I desperately wanted to get dressed and leave.
“Adrian, get her cleaned up and take her home. Make sure she behaves after the comedown. I don’t want her overdosing.”
I felt like I was half asleep as an arm was wrapped around my shoulder and my body was led somewhere. I didn’t care, as long as it was out of that room.
Something dripped from between my legs, making me stumble. It hurt to walk, but I gritted through it, unaware of who was still watching me. It was finally silent, and a door was shut behind me.
“Here,” Adrian said, the now recognizable voice of the man who pretended to fuck me. “Put your clothes on and I’ll wait outside.”
He stuffed my bundle of clothes against my chest, and I clutched them tightly, listening to the sound of him leaving before dropping the blanket.
My hands were shaking as I fumbled to get dressed. I didn’t have the strength to stand up anymore, but I needed to get out of there. I was too vulnerable with my eyes disabled by my allergy and my brain wasn’t processing shit like it should with whatever drugs I had taken.
I could just make out the shape of the door and stumbled towards it, finding Adrian, or the silhouette of him anyway, right outside.
“Ready?”
I nodded and grabbed his arm to prevent myself from running into anything.
I somehow made it to his car, and he buckled me in.
My limbs were starting to wake up, pricks of pain settling into my entire body.
I could no longer keep my heavy head up and as soon as the door closed, my head rolled into the glass pane sending fire across my scalp.
Mother…fucking…
I’m dying.
I’m dying.
I’m dying.
I tried to groan, but even that effort was fruitless. I was trapped in my body unable to move or speak. I forced air into my lungs, but I couldn’t fucking get enough.
Did Adrian leave?
Fuck.
I’m dying.
Fuck. Think, Shiloh. What did you take? The line off of Julian and then…was it Diego who offered me more?
I felt dizzy like I’d just been spun in a chair for hours. I couldn’t get my mind to focus. My heart pounded in my chest and my eyes closed.
I was gasping for air as I sat up so abruptly I nearly headbutted the windshield.
“Fuck,” I groaned, holding my throbbing head. My forehead was sticky with a fresh gleam of sweat. I looked around, my eyes burning but finally able to make out the fact that it was nighttime, and I was in a car alone with Adrian.
Carlos. Julian. Bitter powder in the back of my throat. Moaning. I was moaning.
Hot breath against my neck. “Shh. Almost done.”
My whole body trembled as I leaned back into my seat. I was still too dizzy to be able to make out the buildings passing us by.
Fuck. I should’ve let him kill me. I should’ve let him kill me.
“Where are we?” My throat felt like it was on fire, and I gagged when I remembered Carlos’s dick pummeling the back of my throat.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
I dug my nails into my palms like the added pain would help block out the images.
“Almost to your house.”
My heart skipped in my chest, my stomach tensing so hard I bent over between my knees in case I puked.
If I was lucky enough to be home alone, I could already see how my night would end. Dead. If the drugs already in my body didn’t do it, I would take matters into my own hands.
Or maybe another hit of what they gave me would take the edge off. I wouldn’t be feeling this shitty. I’d feel happy. Like I did with Nox. I could raid whatever stash my dad had or ask him to call one of his friends to hook me up.
“What time is it?” I squinted around the car looking for a clock.
“Uh, 9:30.”
I let out a shaky breath, nausea curdling my stomach again. I could kill myself, get high, or…
“You remember that house we met at?”
“Uh, that kid you said was a classmate?” He asked.
“Yeah, drop me there.”
“Shiloh, that’s not a good—”
“You take me there or you leave me here on the side of the road and I’ll walk there.”
“Christ, you’re fucking difficult. You’re not thinking clearly, Shiloh. You’re in no shape to be socializing.”
A moment of silence passed, and I wiped the sweat dripping down my forehead.
“Yes, thank you,” I spat, still hunched over, staring at my shoes. “I’m well aware I look like a fucking cracked out prostitute. And I’ll deal with it. They know about my allergy. They’re expecting me. If I don’t show it’ll just cause more of a headache for me.”
Lies. I knew they wouldn’t actually come looking for me, but I needed a reason not to go home. I was too selfish to not seek the only haven I had in this fucked-up town.
He sighed, glancing over at me. The silence only made the pounding in my head more prominent.
“Los Siete isn’t done with your baptism.
You won’t be protected if his parents try to get the authorities involved.
You’re not only putting yourself in danger, you’re risking that kid and his family too.
If you say something you don’t mean to, if they call the police…
Shiloh, think this through for a second. ”
I’m fucking trying to think! I go home and I die. Or I go to Enoch’s and hopefully live.
“Do you want me to live through tonight? Or do you want me to die, and Carlos take your little brother in my place?”
Adrian’s jaw ticked and a long moment of silence passed.
“I will fucking gut you alive if you open your fucking mouth. If anything happens, Shiloh, if anything happens tonight, that family’s blood is on your hands. Got it?”
My eyes burned with tears and I rapidly blinked.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“This is for you,” he said, leaning over and pushing my body back up and into my seat so that he could open the glove compartment.
He retrieved a bag and dropped it into my lap.
“Phone is paid for, programmed with my number and a number to reach Carlos. I know I don’t need to but I’m gonna say it anyways, if anything happens you call me first. Always.
You’re not a full member yet, but so help me, I will force you to stay alive long enough to get to that day.
So call me first if you get into any trouble. ”
He paused to give me a stern glare, and I nodded in understanding.
“And take the pill in there. Morning-after so we don’t have any accidents. Everyone’d been tested for STI’s before, in case you were worried about that.”
I almost thanked him. Instead, I scoffed, closing the paper bag.
“I guess you should feel pretty good about yourself for not being able to get it up with an unconscious girl.”
“You wouldn’t know. You were blacked out for almost all of it. I had already finished before you came to.”
I squirmed uncomfortably at the reminder of the sticky substance that was still damp between my legs.
It was clear in his tone that Adrian was defensive.
“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night,” I muttered.
Why the fuck is he lying? I mean, if I had to rape an unconscious body in front of a bunch of other guys, I’d probably have a limp dick too.
I pressed the images swirling in my mind as far away as I could from reality. I refused to break down in front of him.
You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
The mantra didn’t stop my stomach from clenching with disgust. My muscles began to uncomfortably cramp and ache like I had the flu.
Thankfully, the car pulled up in front of Enoch’s house what felt like moments later.
I didn’t waste any time exiting the car, awkwardly making my way up to his front door with my limbs now shaking uncontrollably.
I just prayed it was some sort of crash from all the adrenaline and not a sign I was going into a delayed drug overdose or something.
I shoved the small paper bag into the pocket of my hoodie before ringing the bell.
My heart bounced erratically in my chest, and I contemplated turning around and going home. Death would have been the easier option. Before I could leave, the door swung open.
???
October 15, Friday
Enoch
The doorbell rang and I jumped up to get it, telling Jae to pause the game as I chucked my controller onto the couch.
I grabbed the cash from the table by the door and opened it, counting the money before slowly looking up and gasping.
“Shiloh?”
I tossed the money aside to grab her shoulders and pull her inside, glancing behind her to see a car driving off. Her teeth were chattering almost painfully, and I quickly shut the door behind her.
“What-what happened? Are you cold?” I asked, stunned.
I took a moment to inspect her closely, pulling her further under the dim hallway light. My stomach flipped when I saw that her eyes were swollen and red, like she had been crying and had an allergic reaction. She stared back at me, the silence only disturbed by her chattering and trembling body.