25. Twenty-Five
Twenty-Five
Rosie
I run through the pouring rain until I get to the forest line just beyond the houses where Vic lives. I can feel the freezing cold seeping into every inch of my body, numbing my skin and chilling me to the core, yet I pay it no mind.
Everything feels distant and empty except for the overwhelming pressure in my chest.
How could he deceive me with every word, every action, every touch, every kiss?
Each breath I take feels shallow and strained, leaving me feeling suffocated and unable to regain control of my breathing.
As I pace the edge of the forest line, I try to focus on the earthy scent of moss and dampness that permeates the air. In my struggle to stay present and avoid being consumed by a panic attack, time loses its structure, melding into a confusing blur of emotions.
I don’t know where I go from here.
I feel so damn alone.
What made me believe I could be happy? How could I have been so naive? I was a fool to hope for more.
The sudden ring of my phone startles me. I hesitantly look, only to see Jess’s name.
“Hello.”
“Rosie, Vic called and said you might need me. Are you okay?”
No, I’m dying inside.
“Can you pick me up if you aren’t busy? I’m outside of the houses Vic lives in.”
“Can you share your location?”
“I will.”
The moment her car pulls up, I jump in. “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience... and your wet seat.”
“Never apologize for needing help. Here.” She shrugs out of her jacket and hands it to me. “You must be freezing.”
“Thank you.”
“I made you a hot chocolate from the shop. Chocolate helps everything.”
I grab it and take a gulp. It’s warm, and the chocolate tastes delicious as it melts in my mouth.
“I swear I don’t deserve your friendship.”
“Don’t you dare! You’ve been a great friend to me.” She looks over at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I wish I could erase this morning and go back to last night.”
“Oh shit, it’s one of those...”
“He lied about everything, Jess. Everything,” I say wiping away a stray tear.
“He told me.”
“He did? ”
“Yep. I’m not sticking up for Vic whatsoever, but when I spoke to him, he sounded devastated. I’ve never seen him act like he does with you.”
“It still doesn’t excuse him.”
“Agreed. But if you care about him like I think you do, just give yourself some time to think about everything. I’d hate for you to have regrets later. Memories are precious and so is the time you spend with people.”
“You’re right.”
“And now that I’ve said all that, I will totally be your girl and slash the tires on his truck with you. But I refuse to go near his bike because I’m not suicidal,” she says with a grin, which makes me smile.
“Thank you for being such an amazing friend. Meeting you was one of the best things I did since moving to town.” I pull her into a hug.
“I could say the same about you. Someone pulled in behind me.”
I look out the window and pray it isn’t Vic. I can’t handle seeing him right now, but all I see is a suit.
“Ugh, my brother Gage,” I say with a sigh. “I better go.”
I pull Jess in for another hug, feeling like this might be the last time I see her.
I could fight Gage on this, but what’s left for me here?
Nothing.
Because it was all a lie.
“Call or text if you need anything. Like I said, I’m here for you... always.”
“Thanks, Jess.”
I get out of Jess’s car and walk toward Gage .
“How’d you find me this time, big brother?” I ask as I try to distract him from my tear-streaked face, bare feet, and shirt combo I have going on. I must look like a mess.
“Vic told me.”
Lovely.
He closes my door, and I stare out the window into the pouring rain. The weather is a mirror image of my emotions right now. Dark, gloomy, and cold.
You always hear about the highs that come with meeting someone and falling for them. The stolen glances that set your body on fire. The giddy feeling you get when they send you a text and the anticipation of their words, the butterflies you get when their hands are on you. Searing your flesh with scars even after their touch is gone.
But no one likes to speak of the lows once all of that is ripped from your grasp.
The soul-shattering emptiness where those feelings used to lie.
A part of me longs for the blissful ignorance of never noticing that something was off.
I regret ever opening that drawer and uncovering the painful truth.
I didn’t lose one person.
I lost two.
I could have been in bed right now, cuddling in his safe, warm arms. My curiosity got the better of me, and I got burned, just like I thought I would.
Gage closes his door, bringing me out of my thoughts. As we make our way down the road, I catch movement in my peripheral, and my head turns automatically. The moment I think I see something or someone, it’s gone, and so are we.
“We have much to discuss, little sister.”
“Later.”
“Of course,” he says, dropping the subject and leaving me to my thoughts.
I close my eyes and will myself to wake up from this horrible dream.
We get to Gage’s townhouse, which is on the outskirts of Chicago. He’s living right under everyone’s noses. Alexa would freak if she knew how close he lived to her.
Gage has been living lavishly. His home has black-and-white accents, glass walls, marble floors, and light sconces that turn on as you walk by. I don’t blame him after where he’s been in the past years.
I make my way up the staircase made of cable ties and stone that seem to float mid-air. I pick the first open room on the right and settle in. Jumping on the bed face-first, I think about how much more messed up my life is. I’m not entirely sure how long I’ll stay, considering Gage planned to get me from Vic soon, anyway.
Gage comes in later with Thai takeout for dinner. We sit on the bed as he hands me a white container and a pair of chopsticks. I open it and smile, seeing as he ordered my favorite, chicken pad Thai. I can’t believe he remembered. The delicious aroma hits my nose, and my mouth instantly salivates. As I take a bite, a comforting warmth spreads through my body, making me feel a bit better. Comfort food always hits the spot.
“Thank you for this,” I say, holding up my food.
“That’s what brothers are for,” Gage says while grubbing down on his own food container. “Let’s talk about today. ”
“I’d rather not, and I’m sure he told you, anyway.”
“He did, but I want to hear it from you.”
“He lied,” I say with a nonchalant shrug, but inside, my heart feels like it’s crumbling.
“About what?”
“Everything.” I inhale deeply as if I’m trying to catch my breath. Tears sting the backs of my eyes, and I will them to retreat.
Gage stops at the threshold, looking at the wall. “Do you love him?”
“I don’t think it matters anymore.”
With tears welling in my eyes, I position the lighter beneath the paper, feeling a mix of sorrow and determination.
What was once a treasure now feels like a list of lies.
Deep down, I held onto a delusional hope that Vic would reach out to me. Write me a letter. Show me he cared by doing something thoughtful. He hasn’t. It’s been a week. He just gave Jess my stuff to give to Gage.
“What’s that?” Gage asks from behind me.
“Nothing,” I say as I put the lighter down.
He leans against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, with a concerned look .
“Tomorrow’s Halloween. I was thinking maybe you’d want to get out and join the living, or the dead, I guess you could say, at my club.”
“Thought I wasn’t allowed there.”
“You can as long as you stay in the front bar area. I think it would be good for you to get out, Ro. You haven’t been out all week, and I know you’ve been sad.”
Compassion drips from his voice. After spending almost a week here, I notice bits of Gage’s old self resurfacing. It’s reassuring to know he hasn’t lost himself completely to the ruthless and materialistic nature of our world.
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
“It’ll be fine. You can dance and enjoy yourself, take a night off from your thoughts. My men will watch over you to make sure you’re okay.” At my reluctance, he adds, “I also remember a certain girl loving the holiday back in the day. You can’t let your younger self down.”
The bastard has me there. I’ve always loved dressing up for Halloween.
As I take in Gage’s Halloween costume, I can’t help but scrunch my nose. It’s eerily similar to the one Marco wore at that college party .
The one Vic showed up to but didn’t say— no, I’m not doing this to myself. Take him out of your mind for the night, Rosie.
I opted for a burlesque costume with a Gatsby flair, much to my brother’s dismay. The silver corset is wrapped tightly around my midsection, giving me exceptional lift and cleavage. Sequins, rhinestone, and tassel embellishments hang from the skirt, and a headpiece sits atop the crown of my head and drapes over my skull. I paired it with a smoky eye and dark maroon lipstick. I feel confident and beautiful tonight. A drastic change from how I’ve felt all week.
“You look pretty, Ro.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you talked me into going out.”
“Everything will work out. I promise you.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know if getting my heart stomped on was supposed to happen, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Not everything is as it seems. Just give it time.”
I swear he thinks he’s helping, but he talks in riddles that only he understands. I feel like I’m always missing pieces of the story, and I probably am. He may be the same as I remember in some aspects, but in others, he holds a completely different identity, full of secrecy and deceit.
It’s a short drive to his infamous club. After using my internet searching skills and taking a trip down a rabbit hole on the dark web, I discovered Gage owns a high-end, ultra-secret sex club.
The establishment accommodates various forms of debauchery, including entirely new and intriguing ones, while I have no intention of ever exploring others. My face was on fire as I googled all the different kinks the other night. Talk about diving into an alternate universe .
We walk through the back and enter his office, filled with sleek black leather and glass decor. I sit at one of his couches off to the side as he speaks to a couple of bouncers who are all decked out in black attire and creepy carnival masks. Black, red, and white are the dominant colors of the masks, and each has intricate designs.
I’m just glad none of them are in ski masks. Those will forever be a source of terror for me.
As my brother meticulously goes over their game plan for the night, a sudden warmth spreads across the side of my face, making me uneasy, as though someone is intensely watching me.
As I turn my head, I catch sight of one of the masked men staring directly at me, his head tilted in curiosity. Sending a wave of embarrassment through me, I give a tight smile before turning my head.
Now that was fucking creepy.
“Ro,” Gage calls to me, and I make my way over to him, noticing the creepy one remains while the others have already left.
“This will be your security for the night. Act as if he doesn’t even exist,” Gage says while sending a huge smile toward the guy.
I can feel the weight of the guy’s gaze behind the mask as he observes me without saying a word.
I give him another tight smile before looking at my brother. “Can I go enjoy my night now? The dance floor and a drink are calling my name.”
“Stay in the bar area and take it easy on the alcohol.”
“I will,” I say, feeling my face turn red with embarrassment. The conversation about my findings of his club is still pending with Gage. Probably forever. “But last I checked, you’re not Papa, and I can drink what I want, when I want.” With that, I storm out of the room without a second glance.
I stop in the hallway and look left, then right, then left again. Shit, I don’t know where the bar is.
I feel a presence behind me as a hand finds my lower back and sends a chill up my spine. My new babysitter doesn’t say a word as he guides me to the right.
It makes me think of Vic and how much I still miss him. My eyes roll in exasperation, a futile attempt to shake off the lingering belief he might actually care even though his silence speaks volumes.
We continue to walk in silence as we make our way through a series of doors. I can feel him staring at me, but I don’t dare glance up at him.
I hope my brother screened him because he’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.
We head through one last door and into a large room covered in orange lighting and sparkly marble floors. The orange lighting that moves with the bass hits the disco balls at the bar, creating what looks almost like fire embers all over the place.
I walk to the counter and beckon a bartender over, eager to place an order to make me forget.
Shot after shot goes down like a harsh prayer, beseeching my mind to have amnesia until further notice.
I ask for my fourth, but the bartender declines my request at my brother’s orders. I roll my eyes before telling him sorry and thank you. It’s not his fault my brother is a killjoy.
One of my favorite songs comes on, and my legs take me to the dance floor without a second thought. I close my eyes and move to the music. The alcohol hits my bloodstream, making me feel warm and relaxed.
At that moment, I make a promise to release all the negativity burdening and suffocating me.
My broken heart.
Shattered dreams.
Unknown future.
One song fades into another as my body glides around the dance floor with ease. My mind feels lighter than it has all week.
A guy comes up to dance with me. He has a friendly smile from what I can see besides the fangs. He’s two steps away from touching me when the babysitter I totally forgot existed intercepts him.
“Sorry, Dracula...” I giggle, and my babysitter turns around and looks down at me with caramel-colored eyes.