Chapter 17
SOPH
Iopen my mouth, but no words come out. My entire body hums as he looks at me like Nelly once described—like he doesn’t know if he wants to strangle, kiss, or fuck me. I start to turn away from his stare that seems to see right through me, but the firm grip on my arm makes me stop in my tracks.
“Let me go, Jackson,” I say, my voice thick and unsteady, almost pleading.
Jax drops his hand and says in a stern tone, “Sit down, and let’s talk. I need answers. You’ve avoided me long enough.”
Silently counting to ten, I sink down on one of the black leather sofas, Jax following my movements. Like ripping off a band-aid, I should get this over with and put it all behind us. But how do I even start?
“I’m waiting,” he remarks as he moves closer, leaving little room between us.
Well, here it goes.
“You ghosted me and then acted like you had no fucking clue who I was at Warm’n’Cool. It hurt me, and I acted on that feeling without thinking too much.”
He looks at me with his mouth open. “That’s it? Are you fucking serious?”
“Do you have any idea how much it hurts to get ghosted after the connection we shared?” I ask in a broken whisper, turning my face away from him.
“Soph, you should know I didn’t ghost you on purpose. Please, look at me, so I can explain,” his lowered voice begs next to me.
“I can’t. Not yet. Give me a moment.”
After what feels like an eternity but is probably a maximum of sixty seconds, Jax moves his hand to take hold of my face and carefully lifts my gaze.
When our eyes connect, his entire expression changes from hurt to understanding.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you with my actions.
But it still doesn’t explain everything. ”
“We hit it off that night and I had such high hopes of more happening between us.” I play with the hem of my dress.
“You see, all my exes have one thing in common: they’re assholes who hurt me in one way or another.
So, when you did what they would have done, I got so mad at you.
Like you were another name in the list of men who have screwed me over. ”
A flicker of irritation and impatience shines in his eyes. “Let’s not forget that you stole from me! How does that have anything to do with me being like those dumbasses you’ve dated?”
I groan and drop my face on my hands. “Okay, so, honestly, I just wanted to take your bike for a ride that night. I didn’t even think how bad it would look. I didn’t think.”
“No shit, Sherlock. That was some dumb shit, and that’s a lot coming from me.”
“I know. And I am sorry, too, Jax.”
His eyes soften a little. “Yeah, I think you are. Rose has been texting me, telling me to be nice and forgive you already. I guess I can finally tell her that I have.”
“She really cares about you, you know.”
“Yeah, the feeling is mutual,” he says, smiling unconsciously. “I still don’t get why you didn't say anything before tonight. You had plenty of opportunities to do so.”
“I wanted you to remember me first, but I guess that was just a foolish dream,” I admit before pushing myself off the sofa. “I need another drink to continue this conversation. You want anything?”
“No, thanks, I’m fine.”
I bolt to the empty break room and close the door behind me. Leaning against the counter, I take a calming breath and try to control my racing heart. The worst is over. He knows why I couldn’t stand him that night.
The quiet knock on the door interrupts my panic. “Soph, are you okay?”
“No, but I’ll be one day.”
Silence follows my words, and I hear him opening the door. Jax enters the room cautiously and focuses on me, pain and regret in his expression. “We should have had this conversation way before tonight.”
“Yeah, we should have.”
“I recognized you within the first few seconds that night,” Jax murmurs, bowing his head.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wasn’t sure how you would react. I honestly didn’t need more drama at that point.”
I let out a sarcastic laugh. “And how did that turn out?”
“Don’t even remind me. It’s like every damn decision I make in my life bites me in the ass at some point. If I could go back, I would have contacted you before you hated me.”
“But why didn’t you?”
Jax shakes his head. “I lost my phone the day before our date and without a reminder, I forgot. When I realized what happened, I was ashamed and thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me.”
I look into Jax’s eyes, trying to spot the lie. But he’s being honest; he keeps eye contact and his voice isn’t wavering. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It didn’t help that Eli tore me a new asshole after he found out. I think that’s why I tried to fake it and pretend like I had no idea who you were at Warm’n’Cool.”
“I still can’t believe it.”
His eyes are glassier than before, and I see the pain in them. The same pain I have noticed before in brief moments. “Me either.”
“What the fuck happened to you, Jax? Who made you so damn broken?”
“I would rather talk about anything other than that.”
I nod, understanding his pain. “I get it. It’s hard to talk about things that have fucked up our pasts.”
“Or our present lives,” he whispers painfully.
The way his eyes show all his pain and suffering is too much for me.
I can’t see another person in so much pain.
No matter what I think of them. My eyes start filling with tears, and I blink rapidly to avoid crying.
One of my tears still gets away and runs down my cheek.
Jax wipes it off with his thumb and looks at me.
All the hate and ill feelings we had towards each other don’t matter now.
The only thing that does is we are here, sharing our pain, for one night.
“I can’t believe it’s you and me here right now.”
He catches me off guard with his gentle tone. “It all seems like a dream, doesn’t it?”
“It does. And knowing about how shitty it was that I didn’t call or even text you…I don’t know what to say,” Jax says as he caresses my cheek, smiling sadly. “I would have treated you differently if I knew—”
I move my finger over his mouth, silencing him. “Don’t make promises for your past self.”
As we look at each other, I feel the urgent need to kiss him again. Just like we have kissed before, but still in a new way that heals broken parts of our souls. I need to take that pain away, even for one moment.
“Jax, I really want to kiss you.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“For you to give me the green light.”
He closes his eyes and moves his head toward me as an answer.
The moment our lips touch again, everything changes.
With his full lips and the things he just said, Jax removes all my hurtful and hateful comments.
Everything I knew before this moment just disappears from my mind.
I can only think of his lips on mine and how I want to taste more of him.
I open my lips to let him in more. He gets the hint and moves his tongue deeper after licking my lower lip.
The whole thing heats my body and core. I grind myself against him and Jax groans before pulling his lips away from mine.
“If you keep doing that, you should be ready not to finish anytime soon.”
“What if I don’t want to finish what we started yet?”
“That’s the answer I was looking for,” Jax says and presses his lips against mine, pinning my hips to the wall with his and I can feel how hard he is for me.
After what feels like hours, I pull away breathlessly, our eyes meeting as I speak. “I think we should go to the backroom and continue there. Anyone could walk past the front window and see us.”
“Oh, yeah, continue what?” Jax questions, cockiness evident in his tone.
“I mean, I haven’t had sex at work before. That would be cool to cross off my bucket list.”
He snorts, “You have a bucket list for sex?”
“No, but I thought it sounded fun.”
“Bummer. That would have been too good.”
“Yeah?”
“I could have helped you with items on that list. But I guess I need to use my imagination.”
His arm firmly around my waist, Jax leads me to his workspace. The room seems smaller than before, with all the tension filling the space. The walls are covered in what I have learned is his art, and the tattoo chair sits in the middle.
Jax sees me looking around, and chuckles softly. “It isn’t your first time here.”
“I know, but it feels like it.”
“What if you take off your dress, and after that, you don’t have time to focus on things around us.”
I release his hand and walk to the chair and unzip my dress from the side. It falls to the ground, giving Jax an eyeful of my ass in a bright red thong that matches my bra. Behind me, Jax mutters fuck me under his breath, and I smirk, loving his reaction.
When I start to take off my thong, he stops me by spinning me around to face him. “Let me take care of those.”
I sit down in his tattoo chair, spreading my legs as his eyes darken. Jax traces his pointer finger on my lower stomach. He plays with my belly button ring, and I groan as his hand moves lower. Goosebumps follow his touch, and I can’t keep still, my hips squirming and hands reaching for him.
He moves away and growls, “Behave, or I’ll stop.”
Something about the way he says it makes my insides clench. I try to stay still as his fingers reach where I ache the most. He traces his finger over my underwear, teasing me with every single movement.
“Fuck, Jax, please. I can’t wait any longer.”
“Look at you, darling, soaked for me.”
I nod, not trusting my voice. I’m so turned on that I don’t feel Jax’s hands till he’s ripping my thong off. I let out a surprised moan and clench my thighs together as I can feel the burning on my skin. But I love the feeling.
Jax pockets my destroyed thong and spreads my legs, his gaze hungry as he stares at me bared. “Fuck, Soph, you’ve got such a perfect pussy. Just like I remembered.”
He continues his exploration of my body. His tongue touches my inner thigh while his hands squeeze my butt. I feel the aftershock of his touch everywhere in my body. The steel in his piercing still feels foreign but comforting.
“Jax, please, I need you to stop teasing me.”
He chuckles against my heated skin. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“You’re such a tease, Mr. Bennett.”
Saying his last name does something to him, and he grabs a tight hold of my thighs and drags my legs over his shoulders while I take hold of the chair beneath me.
His warm breath brushes against the skin next to where I want him the most before the first long lick around my clit makes me moan even louder.
That fucking steel adds to the pleasure and my eyes flutter shut.
“Open your eyes, Soph. I need to see those eyes when you come on my tongue.”
Following his demand, I open my eyes and look down at him.
He glances up as he licks me again and again.
Before I can do anything more than moan his name, I feel my orgasm coming.
Jax must sense it too, as he pushes two fingers inside me and pumps them in a rhythm that makes me lose control faster.
His talented fingers rub against my walls as he curls them.
“Jax, yes, Jax!”
And that’s how he makes me come in two minutes. I hear him chuckling and realize that I said the words aloud. “Soph, that was only the beginning. But we should continue this another time when we’re not drunk.”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Deadass.”
I hastily get up from the chair, trying to cover myself and hide my humiliation. I can’t believe he stopped. And what’s that bullshit about waiting until we are sober. I try to grab my dress but drop it on the floor when he softly touches my arm.
“Soph, look at me.”
“I can’t.”
Jax huffs next to me. “Stop being so fucking stubborn and understand where I’m coming from. I had such a fun time and let myself go too far. I should have waited, and I’m trying to fix what’s left of tonight.”
Turning around, I look at him. “You got what you wanted, and then you decided to stop?”
“If you could only feel how fucking hard I am right now, you wouldn’t even question me.”
“Then let me fucking feel you!”
He shakes his head. “That isn’t what I meant. Fuck. I want to do the right thing just once in my life. After you came, I realized we both had too much to drink tonight. I couldn’t continue with a clear conscience. Okay?”
I get what he means, but it isn’t what I wanted to hear. I was having fun, drunk or not. “Sure, whatever.”
“Are you ready to leave soon?” Jax asks, handing me my wrinkled dress from the floor.
I nod and take the black fabric from his hands. He's all dressed up since he never took his clothes off. I hadn't even realized it before this moment. Even though I would love to ogle him longer, there's something I need to say.
“Hey, Jax?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you and not giving me too much shit about everything, even if you could have been much less understanding. And I’m not only talking about tonight.”
He shakes his head. “But I was such a dickhead first.”
“I expected even worse, so you’ve been a pleasant surprise,” I tell him honestly.
“Someone would think you like me after hearing that.”
“Maybe you aren’t as bad as I thought.”
“I’m glad you finally realized that,” Jax mumbles and waits until I have my dress back on. Then he opens the door for me.
I walk to the front room smiling and look at the mess our party left behind. There’s still plenty of cleaning to do, but that can wait. Now I just want to go home and sleep for hours. My eyelids feel heavy, and my steps are slow.
“Do you need a ride home?” I hear from behind me and turn around. Jax is holding his phone, a ride-share app open on the screen.
“That would be great, thanks.”
It doesn’t take long for my ride to get there, so we don’t say anything while waiting. When the driver flashes the headlights, Jax plants a kiss on my forehead. “Goodnight, Soph. Let me know when you’re home.”
“I will. Goodnight,” I tell him and imagine the feeling of his lips on my skin the entire ride home.