Chapter 27
JAX
Currently playing: If I Die Tomorrow by Motley Crüe
I’m left shaking as another recurring nightmare wakes me up.
It’s been weeks since the last one, but now that I’m sleeping alone, the darkness of my memories has found me again.
My whole body is shivering—my heart is racing, sweat is gathering on my skin, and my head’s pounding.
All because my mind can’t stop fucking with me.
In the alternative reality that makes its way to my nightmares, I end up killing my stepfather.
I can hear and see everything as if it really happened—how his lifeless body falls at my feet.
How Trisha screams and pleads for him to wake up, holding his lifeless body on her lap, blood staining her hands.
The next moment the police officers are handcuffing me and escorting me out of the house, which was like a prison to me for months, only for me to end up in a real prison.
To make matters worse, I haven’t heard from Soph since I left her place two days ago. I sent her a ‘good morning’ text yesterday, but nothing. It was expected, but it still hurts like a motherfucker. And I’m all alone for the Thanksgiving weekend, it feels like an extra kick in the gut.
Soph had asked me to join her family for their non-Thanksgiving meal before her da was admitted to the hospital.
As both her parents grew up without celebrating the holiday, the family gets together yearly and eats Chinese food instead.
But since her da is still at the hospital, the family gathering was postponed until further notice.
Soph was supposed to spend the long weekend at my place, since King Tattoo is closed.
Then I screwed it up, trying to be the good guy and help her.
I haven’t even told Eli or Ollie what happened because I wanted to be alone for once.
Especially now that Eli’s future in-laws are visiting the city.
The Summers-Servopoulous clan is keeping him and Rose busy enough over the next two weeks.
They don’t need me to crash their plans.
I know that they would have insisted if they knew I wasn’t with Soph.
Walking to my living room, still shaken from my bad dreams, I flop down on the couch.
I’m about to order comfort food from one of the restaurants open nearby when I hear the doorbell.
I check the camera the housing cooperative installed last year and mutter a few curses when I see who it is.
I buzz him in, preparing for what’s about to come my way.
Before Ollie has a chance to knock on my door, I open it and glare at him. “Well, if it isn’t the Little Poet Boy. Where’s your key?”
“I thought I would rather give you a twenty second warning. You know why I’m here?” he asks, unfazed.
“Was it Eli or Rose who sent you over?”
He rolls his eyes because the answer is obvious. “It was originally her idea, but he insisted that I bring you to their place for a post-Thanksgiving intervention.”
“But they’re with their family.” I try to reason myself out of leaving my place.
“And you, even when stupid, are a part of that family.”
Nothing like an insult disguised as a compliment to lighten up the mood. “Well, thanks. I guess?”
“Now, get showered and be ready to leave in fifteen. They’re waiting for us.”
“Who’ll be there?”
“Me, Rose, and Eli. And you, of course. Her family is doing some touristy activities today since we need to help you get your shit together.”
I scoff. “I don’t need your help.”
“Oh yes, you fucking do. Remember when we all met at Eli’s last year when he was going through his dark night?”
“His what now?” Sometimes, it feels like we speak two different languages.
“Don’t you ever listen to what Soph, Rose and Spade say about romance novels they read?
” I shake my head, and he continues. “The dark night is the moment when all hope is lost and where the relationship is at its lowest. Now, you need to make a plan and show Soph that things aren’t as bad as they seem.
Think of it as a grand gesture of sorts. ”
He’s making this a bigger deal than it is. “But we’re still together?”
“You still need to show her you’re sorry. I know you think what you did wasn’t wrong, but try to see it from her point of view. Try to listen without thinking you’re right for once.”
As much as I hate it, I have to admit that he makes sense right now.
I owe Soph an apology and need to make sure she understands that I only wanted to help.
I know the way I did it behind her back wasn’t the best way to go, knowing how proud she’s about everything she does for her parents.
It could have worked with someone else, but not her—a lesson I have learned.
“Stop making sense, and give me some space to get ready.”
“I’ll sit right there.” Ollie points at the bar stool next to the kitchen island. “And kill time before you’re ready to go.”
“Wait, weren’t you supposed to be with Ale and her family this weekend?”
“I was, but after Rose and Eli texted me, I knew I was needed here.”
And that makes me smile. “Thanks, brother.”
“Don’t you sweat about it. Now, take that damn shower, so we can get going.”
Arriving at my friends’ penthouse an hour later, I expect to walk into a quiet apartment, but what greets us is a blur of activity.
“I thought you said Rose’s family was somewhere else,” I say under my breath.
Ollie shrugs. “They were supposed to be.”
We walk to the kitchen and a red-haired woman in her 40s, who I assume is Rose’s mother, spots us first and smiles our way. “You must be Ollie and Jax. Sorry for this, but one of the twins got ill, and we decided to turn back. I’m just making some snacks before checking on poor Leo.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Summers-Servopoulous.” Ollie offers his hand.
Rose’s mother ignores it and hugs him instead. “Don’t be silly, Ollie. And please, call me Rose.”
“That will surely be confusing when we’re around you and your daughter at the same time,” Ollie answers with a chuckle.
“You aren’t the first one to say that.” She laughs and turns to me, placing her hands on my arms and looking at me from head to toe before hugging me. “Jax, you look exactly like Rose described. I’ve been thinking of getting a tattoo myself and want to discuss my ideas if you have time.”
“Sure, I would be happy to help with that,” I say and pat her back. I don’t usually enjoy hugs from strangers, but it feels like I know Rose’s mother already. Her daughter has shared many stories since they started working on their relationship last year.
Rose lets go of me and flashes the same warm smile I have seen on her daughter’s face many times. “I knew I would like you.”
“Likewise. It was great meeting you, Rose,” I tell her as I see the younger Rose coming our way.
“Jax, you made it,” she exclaims and hugs me like her mother just did. The Summers women indeed like their hugs. “Sorry about my family.”
“No worries. I just wasn’t expecting to meet them.”
Rose looks at Ollie and then back at me. “What if you and I sit in the living room and talk alone for a bit?"
“Sure,” I say and start walking to the living room, her following me.
Seated on a couch, I have a magnificent view of the city around me. My favorite part about it is that it never sleeps. But today, watching the busy city isn’t calming me as it usually does.
“What’s in that beautiful mind of yours?” Rose asks and comes to sit next to me.
“I was just thinking how much I love this city and how hectic it is at times.”
“It definitely is a world away from Belchester.”
I laugh thinking about our hometown in Nebraska. “For sure. I can’t believe that two such opposite places are found in one country.”
“That’s the beauty of it all.” Rose fidgets the silver ring on her left middle finger. “I’ve no idea how to start this conversation, so just listen, okay?”
“Sure.”
“We’re worried—Eli, Ollie, and me. I know the past few months haven’t been the easiest, but you’re drinking more this year than you normally do…
” Her forehead is creased, and her lips are downturned, showing her worry clearly.
“And now you need to deal with everything happening with yours and Soph’s families.
I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
I scrub a hand over my face before dragging it through my hair. “Not today, but I will be. One day.”
“You know, there’s always professional help to help you to get there. Eli started going to therapy around a year ago, and I bet Ollie sees someone, too,” Rose says.
I nod as I remember one night earlier this year when we were celebrating Eli’s company’s latest acquisition with the guys.
Eli mentioned about going to therapy the following day, and Ollie commented how at his last session, his therapist said something about healthy boundaries that really made him think about the choices he was making.
But we never talked about it again. I wish we had.
Rose rubs my back, taking my silence as uneasiness. “I know therapy might sound like a bad word for you, Jax, but I think you truly need it.”
“Well, do you have any recommendations for a therapist?”
I don’t know who’s more surprised, her or me. Rose looks at me with wide eyes. “I expected you to be completely against the idea.”
“This isn’t the first time someone close to me has suggested it. Uncle Joey told me to get professional help for years. I never listened to him, and now that he’s gone, I wish I did. So, I guess it’s better late than never.”
“Oh, Jax, I’m so flipping proud of you! Look at you being the man I know you are deep inside,” my friend says and tries to hug me.
I playfully push her away first. “I haven’t even had my first session, and you act like I climbed Mount Everest. Chill.”
“You don’t get it! I know it’s scary to admit that you need help, but I promise you that you won’t regret it once you start therapy.”
I smile at her and take her in my arms. “I trust you, Rose Gold.”
“I’m glad that’s settled, then. Now, we have to plan your grand gesture.”
“Please speak English.”
Rose’s eyes fill with warmth as she smiles. “Oh, Jax, you’ll understand soon enough. But now, let’s get to work.”
We spend the next hour planning how I would express my love for Soph. And even if I say so myself, I’m excited about what I, well, we, have planned.
To make sure everything goes as smoothly as expected, I call the one person whose help I need the most on Tuesday. We have discussed Soph and how I could help her financially before, but since things have changed, I need to give him a rundown.
“Please tell me you’re not canceling our dinner next week,” my cousin’s voice greets me.
“No way, Angel, I still want to see you. But things have changed a bit.”
“I know.”
That throws me off guard. “How do you know?”
“Your homeboys have been keeping an eye out on you since the crash. Eli texted us earlier today saying that you aren’t doing too well.”
“So, what, you all have been talking behind my back? Why does everyone think they can meddle in my life?”
Angel chuckles. “Relax, you make it sound way worse than it is. The truth is we care about you and Soph, separately and together. We also want you to live the best life possible. Especially after every shitty thing you have experienced.”
Well, shit. I definitely got the wrong idea there for a moment. “I—um, thanks. I appreciate that.”
“So, now that’s out of the way, tell me about your new plans.”
“I’m going to send you a few videos. I want you to take a moment to listen to those and then tell me if she could fit your record label’s vibes. Let me know what you think.”
Angel hums. “You know, I can’t promise you anything just because she’s a woman my cousin is dating.”
“I do get that, so give her a chance like you would if she was one of the hundreds who send you their tapes.”
My cousin agrees and says his goodbyes. Ten minutes later, I’m added to a group chat called ‘The Jax Watch.’
Angel: Holy shit, guys, why did nobody tell me Soph can actually sing?? I’m a fucking record label owner looking for fresh talent, and you idiot had someone like her working as your receptionist. Jax, what the fuck??
I chuckle as I slowly read the message and reply with speech-to-text.
Jax: Better late than never right?
Eli sends a GIF of Michael Jackson eating popcorn.
Ollie: Jax, you had one job…
Big O: He was obviously thinking with his lower head once again *eye roll emoji*
In reply to all of them, I send a GIF of an unimpressed Michael Scott from The Office and close the conversation.
Now that I know my cousin will be able to help me, I feel more confident in my plans. The only thing left to do is to convince Soph to give me another chance to fix my wrongs.