9. The Past
9
THE PAST
TYLER
Sweat trickles down the back of my neck as I stare at the last question on the pop quiz that Mr. Harding surprised me with after school. The ticking of the clock seems abnormally loud in the otherwise silent classroom.
I chew on my lip. I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but if I get this wrong, it could ruin everything.
If I’d only known about this goddamn test, I might have been more prepared. I was only supposed to be collecting my grade for the essay I was allowed to resubmit, but when I arrived, he sat me down, put the test in front of me and told me to get started.
I should have seen this coming. Mr. Harding isn’t the kind of teacher who likes giving second chances. He was probably bullied into letting me redo the essay and this is his way of getting back at me for it.
The clock continues to tick.
Sweat soaks the hair at the nape of my neck.
I put pen to paper and fill in an answer for the final question, then I read over everything I’ve already written. My stomach churns and I regret having chugged down a protein shake before coming here. The liquid sloshes around in my gut, making me feel ill.
Ping! Ping! Ping!
The timer on Mr. Harding’s phone goes off. He uncrosses his legs from where he’s leaning against the desk, crosses to me, and reaches for the paper. I grab at it, desperately trying to recheck the last few lines, but he tuts.
“Time is up, Tyler. That’s it.”
I grit my teeth as he takes the paper back to his desk. He sits and picks up his red pen, holding it poised above the test as he goes through it. He frowns and makes a note, then glances up at me and back at the paper. I wriggle in my seat. What if I got it wrong? What if I only thought I’d gotten my head around this stuff?
How much does this pop quiz even count for? He hasn’t said. For all I know, he could be making it up as he goes along. My instincts tell me he is, and I want to protest, but considering he’s giving me special treatment already, I keep my mouth firmly shut.
“Hmm. Interesting.” He jots something at the top of the page and circles it, then raises his head. “Not a bad effort, Tyler. Nine out of ten. You lost half a point each for incomplete explanations of questions two and seven. You were on the right track but didn’t quite get there.”
All of the tension I’ve been holding in my body releases at once.
“I did well?” I ask, unnecessarily.
His nose scrunches, a line of irritation forming between his eyebrows. “I just said that, didn’t I?”
He gets to his feet, grasping the pop quiz in one hand and a file holding a few sheets of paper in the other. He passes them to me. My gaze skims past the test since he’s already told me my result and settles on the essay. Circled in the top right-hand corner of the front page, beside the title, is an A minus.
I close my eyes as relief overwhelms me. Tears prickle at the backs of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.
“It was an excellent essay,” Mr. Harding says gruffly. “So much better than your previous one that I felt the need to make sure you hadn’t gotten someone else to do it for you.”
My eyes fly open. “You don’t think—”
He chuckles. “Relax, Tyler. I’m satisfied that the essay is your own work, and I appreciate you taking this opportunity seriously. I hope you know that it’s out of the ordinary for me to allow students to improve their grades and it won’t happen again, no matter who tries to pull strings on your behalf.”
I nod. “I understand, Mr. Harding. Thank you. And I swear, I did all the work myself. I had a tutor who helped, but she just walked me through it.”
“Ah, yes. Miss Dean.” His expression is almost fond. “You owe that young lady.”
“I know.” I clasp the file to my chest.
He shoos me. “Go on. Go home and break the news to your dad.”
“Yes, sir.” I hurry out, choosing not to mention the fact that I plan to inform Dad of my new grade by text message. It may be good news, but I find it’s best to avoid him whenever possible, and I have better things to do tonight.
I exit the school building and circle around to the parking lot, where I stop dead. Echo is sitting on the ground next to my car, enthralled by something on her phone. She glances up, catches my eye, and waves. My feet lurch into motion, carrying me toward her.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, inwardly wincing as I realize it sounds like an accusation.
She clambers to her feet and puts her phone in her pocket. “I wanted to be here when you got the news. How did it go?”
I scowl. “He made me do a pop quiz.”
“And…?”
I can’t hold back my smile. “I got an A minus on the essay and a 90 percent on the test.”
She high-fives me. “That’s great! I knew you’d do well.”
“Yeah, well.” I shuffle from one foot to the other, then run my fingers through my hair, remembering too late that it’s sweaty. “It’s all because of you.”
She shakes her head. “You did the work. You put in the time. It’s your grade.”
Warmth floods me and, before I have time to think it through, I’ve pulled her into a hug. I freeze, my face buried in her hair, and slowly let her go.
I clear my throat, my cheeks heating. “Sorry about that.”
She laughs. “I don’t mind random hugs. I’m glad you’re happy.”
I am, and despite what she claims, it is largely because of her. If I’d screwed this up a second time, I might be benched, or Dad would find a way to take it out on me. She seriously saved my ass.
“You wanna grab some takeout to celebrate?” I ask impulsively.
She studies me cautiously. I can tell she’s torn. She probably intended to go home as soon as she’d seen me and, considering how hot and cold I’ve been toward her, I can see why she might not want to spend more time with me. Especially if she’s not getting paid for it.
“My treat,” I add. “I was planning to get a burger and fries and watch the meteor shower.”
At the mention of the meteor shower, her face lights up, as I’d thought it might. I love watching the stars and don’t usually like having company while I lie on my back and study the heavens, but for some reason, I want her to come with me.
“Just the two of us?” she asks.
“Just us,” I agree.
She nibbles her lower lip. “Okay, then.”
Triumph rushes through me, much the same as if I’d just scored a goal on the ice. I grab the key fob from my pocket and unlock the Chevy before she changes her mind. I hold open the passenger door for her. She seems taken aback by the gesture, and honestly, so am I. I’ve never held a door for a girl before.
I head around the car and get into the driver’s seat. I breathe in as I buckle and turn the key in the ignition. Trapped inside the car with her, I realize for the first time that she smells faintly of lemon. It reminds me of the cleaning products Mom uses at home, but sweeter.
I drive us to the nearest takeout joint and order a bacon cheeseburger and fries for me and a chicken burger for Echo. I pay despite her protests since it was my idea; I don’t know how much money she has but I doubt it’s much. Then I take her down to my favorite spot near the lake.
It’s only when I turn down the gravel road onto old man Wilson’s property that it clicks in my mind that I’ve never brought anyone here before. Not the girls I’ve fucked, or the guys from the hockey team. Not even Soraya, one of the few people who gets to see my softer side.
This place has been just for me until now, and I have no idea why Echo Dean is the one to make me change that.
We rumble down the gravel, past fields of corn, to the edge of the lake. Echo is quiet, but every now and then, she shoots a look at me out of the corner of her eye. Perhaps she doesn’t understand why I’m bringing her here. That’s fair. I don’t either.
The road ends abruptly up ahead, where it meets the water’s edge. Apparently, it used to continue on, but the lake water rose to cover it during a massive flood a decade or so ago and never retreated to its former level.
I slow to a halt and shut off the engine. I stare out at the water, which is a mass of black in the descending darkness, and then glance over at Echo. Her face is in profile as she gazes straight ahead and, all of a sudden, it hits me that she’s actually quite pretty.
Her nose is small and sharp, and there’s a dusting of freckles across the bridge of it. Her hazel eyes shine with intelligence, but there’s a warmth there too. Her figure is slim, and she’s not very tall, but she’s shaped nicely, and everything is proportional.
Perhaps I should have realized she’s attractive sooner. Eric certainly noticed, but I never got the appeal.
She turns to me. “This place is beautiful.” Her lips quirk. “I bet you bring all the girls here.”
“Actually, you’re the first.”
ECHO
I gawk at Tyler, stunned by the honesty etched into the hard planes of his face, but before I have time to respond, he shoves the door open, climbs out and shuts it firmly. I watch through the window as he goes around the back of the Chevy. Am I supposed to follow him?
I don’t know what to make of the fact he hasn’t brought other girls here before. When we pulled up, the stunning view stole my breath and I immediately assumed that this is where he brings people to hook up. I’d wondered what, if anything, he expected of me. But then he went and turned what I thought upside down.
The Chevy rocks, the balance of weight shifting as Tyler climbs onto the flatbed. I should probably see what he’s doing, but the inside of the vehicle is warm and cozy, and smells of burgers. I wait a few more moments, but when he doesn’t return, I sigh and get out.
I circle the Chevy and come up short, surprised once again. Tyler has arranged a bunch of cushions and blankets on the flatbed, forming a comfortable nest.
“Can you grab the food?” he asks. “We’ll have a better view out here.”
“Sure.” I retrieve the cardboard boxes containing our burgers and a small paper bag with Tyler’s fries and bring them around to the flatbed.
Tyler has set a small cooler beside the nest and is settling himself onto a cushion. He holds a fluffy blanket up and gestures for me to join him. I place the food on the flatbed and clamber up, then pick up our dinner and approach him shyly.
I know that for Tyler and his friends, physical intimacy is nothing, but this will be the first time I’ve been in such an intimate setting with a guy who’s not either family or gay. It leaves me feeling vulnerable.
I slip beneath the blanket and try to position myself as comfortably as possible, shifting around until I find the best place to lie. I prop a cushion behind myself, tuck the blanket over my lap, and drag the food closer.
“Thanks for the burger,” I say, opening the box labeled CB.
“No problem. Thanks for saving my ass in biology.” Somehow, the darkness makes him sound even closer.
“I was paid for it.” I don’t feel right accepting his praise when tutoring him was a job.
“Maybe so, but I’m not the easiest person to deal with.”
“Actually, working with you was easier than I expected.” I don’t want him to think anything else. Yeah, he was emotionally all over the place, but he tried, and that’s all a tutor ever wants.
He doesn’t acknowledge my comment, instead reaching into the cooler and pulling out a can of beer. “Want one?”
I wrinkle my nose. “No, thanks.”
I’m far from twenty-one and I’ve never been the type of person who likes breaking the rules.
He shrugs. “Have it your way.”
We eat in silence, but it’s not awkward. Once I’ve finished my burger, I set the box aside and rest my head against the cushion, gazing up at the stars. Our hometown isn’t large, so it doesn’t emit enough light to mess with the night sky. Unless it’s cloudy, we always have an excellent view.
Tonight, the stars are as bright as ever.
“What time is the meteor shower supposed to happen?” I ask.
He checks his watch. “Around eight-thirty. It’s a little after eight now.”
He’s still eating, so I relax and close my eyes. Tonight has been full of surprises, but perhaps the strangest part is how normal it feels to be here with him. I was nervous when he invited me, wondering what the catch was, but now my mind is easy.
The paper bag crinkles, presumably as Tyler digs around for the last of the fries, and then he scrunches it into a ball. I open my eyes and watch as he packs the trash into the cooler, beside what remains of a six pack of beer.
He flops back, his arms supporting his head, and angles himself toward me.
“When I thanked you earlier, I meant it.” He clears his throat. “I know you were paid to help me, but it felt like you really cared, and that means something.”
His eyes gleam in the darkness and, based on the way he’s squirming, I suspect his cheeks are flushed red; I can’t tell for sure in the near-dark.
“I do care,” I tell him.
Honestly, I care about more than his grade. I can’t get that encounter between him and his dad out of my mind. It’s been weighing on me ever since. The question, ‘Is your Dad abusive?’, is on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t let it out.
Even if I did, I don’t know that he’d answer with the truth. Or at all. He might be angry at me for broaching the subject in the first place, and I don’t want to ruin his mood.
“Thank you.” His voice is rough, and his fingers brush against mine beneath the blanket. I’m tempted to curl my fingers around his, but I don’t want him to think I’m making more of this than it actually is, so I resist the urge.
“I’m serious,” he continues when I don’t respond. “You gave me hope.”
My heart squeezes. Everyone should have hope. The world would be a bleak place without it. I’d have thought a guy like Tyler would have plenty of things to look forward to or to hope and dream about. I’d never have guessed that such a small thing could make a difference to him.
Above us, a streak of white flashes across the sky.
I gasp. “Did you see that?”
He turns to look up and, together, we watch as another meteor burns itself out in the earth’s atmosphere.
Dozens of faint lines appear and disappear so quickly that neither of us have time to point them out before they’re gone again. Every few seconds, a brighter meteor trails across the canvas of stars, capturing our attention until it fades and falls from the sky.
“It’s amazing,” I breathe.
His hand nudges mine again and, this time, Tyler’s palm slides against mine and clasps firmly.
“They remind me of you,” he murmurs.
I tilt my face toward him, only to realize we’ve shifted closer while we were staring up, and now we freeze, gazing into each other’s eyes as we share breath.
“How?” I whisper, afraid to end the moment.
He touches the tip of his nose to mine. “You bring light into my darkness, even if I know it’s going to be gone too soon.”
My chest swells. I can’t help myself.
I kiss him.