Chapter 14
14
ECHO
On Monday, we have another group project session, and I arrive at the study room we booked just as Tyler arrives from the opposite direction. The instant I see him, my cheeks burn. It’s the first time I’ve laid eyes on him since he talked me through an orgasm, and I’m not mentally or emotionally prepared to come face to face with him.
My grip tightens on my skinny caramel mocha and I glance at the door to the study room, noting that Jin and Elle are already inside. Hopefully, they won’t question my blush. I steal a peek at Tyler, and his devilish grin says he knows exactly where my mind has gone.
But really, how am I supposed to think of anything other than the husky tone of his voice in my ear and the pleasure that zapped through every cell in my body because of him?
I haven’t had much interest in sex since The Incident. Or even before that, if I’m honest. Not since Tyler and I broke up. But, somehow, he must have shattered the barrier around my sex drive because I got myself off twice more over the weekend after our phone call.
I don’t think I’d be comfortable with another person touching me yet, but I’ve come much further than I imagined possible.
“Good weekend?” Tyler asks, cocking one of his eyebrows.
“All right,” I say weakly. No way am I acknowledging what happened between us or what I did afterward.
Before he can speak again, I push the door open and enter the room. Jin and Elle have claimed seats on the far side of the large desk, leaving us the two seats that are easier to access—and also beside each other. Based on the dirty look she sends me, Elle isn’t thrilled about that, but Jin must have talked her into it.
“Hey,” I say in greeting.
“Morning, Echo,” Jin replies, then glances at Tyler. “Hi.”
I hesitate for a couple of seconds before sitting, wondering briefly if I could persuade Elle to swap places with me, but doing so would only make things more awkward. I can handle being beside Tyler for an hour without making a fool of myself by crawling onto his lap.
I pull the chair out and sit, breathing in the mouthwatering aroma of coffee. There’s a thermos in front of Jin, and Elle has her hand wrapped around a takeout cup. Tyler is the only one who hasn’t brought caffeinated support.
“Great game over the weekend,” Elle says to Tyler as he slides into the chair beside me, taking up more space than necessary. He spreads his legs and his knee brushes mine. To my astonishment, he immediately jerks it away.
“Thanks,” he replies, barely glancing at her. “We’re still in pre-season, but it was a good chance to see how we work together on the ice.”
Elle leans forward, her low-cut top slipping further down her chest. “I think you’re going to lead the team to the trophy.”
I meet Jin’s gaze and roll my eyes, refusing to allow myself to look at Tyler. Jin is about as much of a sports enthusiast as I am —which is to say, not at all, unless the right incentive is there. Honestly, I don’t think Elle loves hockey either. She just wants a hockey-playing boyfriend she might be able to latch onto all the way to the NHL.
“I’m not the captain,” Tyler says. “I’m not leading the team anywhere.”
Elle laughs, as if he’s joking, but I know Tyler’s various tones well. He’s completely serious.
Perhaps I’m judging her too harshly. I hardly know her, and it’s not her fault she reminds me of Whitney.
No. Don’t go there.
I adjust my position on the uncomfortably hard seat. “Let’s go over everything we’ve already done.”
We each report back on our work so far. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be on top of their part of the project, even Elle, who seems more interested in making cow eyes at Tyler than completing our assignment.
Don’t be so judgmental, Echo. She doesn’t deserve it.
After we’re all up to speed, we compile a list of reference books we might need. The room is overly warm from all four of us being crammed into it, and the stuffiness is getting to my head, so I volunteer to track them down.
“I’ll help,” Tyler says, pushing his chair back and jumping to his feet.
I barely resist the urge to look up at the ceiling and groan. Of course he can’t let me have a little time and space to clear my thoughts.
“Would you?” Jin asks. “It saves us having to squeeze out around the desk.”
“Yeah, no problem,” Tyler replies.
Jin sends the list of books to us in a group message, and we leave the study room. I know the library well after several years here, so I know where to start looking, but I doubt Tyler does. He follows behind me but keeps a respectful distance.
“I’ll look for the first one,” I tell him.
“Then I’ll take the second.”
I turn into an aisle and begin skimming the titles. They’re not on the first side, so I pivot to check the other and find Tyler much closer than I expect. I jolt in surprise, and he jumps out of the way.
Literally.
The man is beside me one second and three feet away the next.
Strange.
I reach for the book and out of the corner of my eye, I see him lift another down from a shelf and check the front cover. I tuck the reference book under my arm and refer to the list. The next one is back the way we came, so I brush past Tyler, but as I draw level with him, he jerks away, knocking into the shelf beside him.
“What is with you?” I demand, stopping and crossing my arms over my chest. “In our last meeting, you were going out of your way to touch me, and now you can’t seem to get away fast enough.”
“I’m trying to respect your physical boundaries,” he replies, not meeting my eyes.
I almost laugh. ‘Respectful’ is the last thing he’s been toward my boundaries until now. A thought pops into my mind.
“Is this because of what I told you after therapy the other day—and what happened after?” I ask.
He scowls, but it isn’t aimed at me. It’s more like he’s annoyed with himself. “Look, I knew you had some hang-ups because of the way you panicked when that asshole grabbed you at the sorority party, but I didn’t realize how deep they go. I don’t want to upset you.”
My stomach sinks, and I have no idea why. I shouldn’t be disappointed by the fact he’s finally trying to behave like a decent person. It’s exactly what I’ve been asking for.
But something doesn’t add up.
“If you’re so worried about triggering me, then why send the sex toys and do…what we did…on the phone?”
He clutches the textbook to his chest, and I can’t help but notice the way his thick bicep flexes with the movement.
“That was different,” he says. “It was all about making you feel good, and I knew you could stop any time you wanted. You were in control. If I start touching you or getting into your space, then I’m taking that control away from you, and I don’t want to do that.”
I stare at him, taken aback by his perceptiveness and the genuine concern reflected in his ice blue eyes.
“I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” I say slowly. “But you’re being weird, and it’s making me self-conscious. Just be yourself, and I’ll tell you if I don’t like something.”
He looks doubtful. “Will you?”
“Yes.”
Tyler may make me nervous, but he’s never physically harmed me, and I don’t expect him to start now. Off the ice, his mode of warfare is of a more psychological nature. He’s a black belt in manipulation.
“You know what I think?” he asks.
The twinkle in his eye tells me the answer to that.
“No,” I say.
“I think you secretly like it when I’m in your space.” His smirk is a little too smug. I don’t like it, but I’m more familiar with this teasing, egotistical version of him, so I don’t cut him down.
He moves closer, until only an inch separates us. “Maybe you like my touch more than you want to admit.”
I don’t say anything, and a taut silence stretches between us. Gradually, his face falls, and he begins to back away.
“Fine,” I say, part of me still weak for him no matter how many years have passed. “Maybe I don’t entirely mind the touching.”
The corners of his mouth lift and he places the book on a shelf. With single-minded focus, he reaches for me slowly, giving me time to change my mind. Then his hands—those strong, rough hockey player hands—skim down my sides, tracing the contours of my body.
His touch is fleeting. Barely there. But it consumes my entire awareness.
My breath hitches, and he stops.
“We have all the time in the world,” he says, picking the book back up. “There’s no rush.”
He leans forward and his lips ghost over my forehead.
I shiver as he pulls away. I want to tell him that nothing is going to happen between us, but that’s beginning to feel like a lie. I’ve already let him cross too many lines.
TYLER
My heart is light as I stride toward the squat brick and glass building that houses the ice hockey rink.
She let me touch her.
I’ve been terrified I’d never know how it felt to put my hands on her again, and even if the caresses were innocent, I know how monumental they were for her. Perhaps she doesn’t trust me, but she no longer loathes me the way she did when I first arrived on campus.
I’m making progress.
I push one of the massive wooden doors open and step inside, inhaling the familiar odor of damp sweat combined with the spicy tang of liniment. I turn toward the corridor that leads to the changing rooms and frown. Echo’s friend, Ryan, is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.
He straightens and saunters toward me. Ryan isn’t as big as me, but he’s a college baseball player so his arms are muscular and he’s only an inch or two shorter than me. His strength is part of the reason I chose him.
“What are you doing here?” I demand as he stops in front of me.
“Echo has been different since you arrived,” Ryan replies, his dark eyes studying me carefully. “Not in a good way. I need to know what your game is.”
“I told you; I want her back.” I glance at my watch. Practice starts soon, and I don’t have time for this. “That’s all there is to it.”
“Uh-huh.” A skeptical line forms between his eyebrows. “And you think giving her expensive gifts and stalking her are the way to do that?”
I shift from one foot to the other. How does he know what I’ve been doing? I haven’t discussed it with him. Has Echo talked to him? Or is he playing his own angle here?
“How did you—?”
“Not important.” He cuts me off. “If you know anything about Echo, you should know that you can’t buy her forgiveness for whatever happened between you before.”
I huff. “Maybe not, but it’s the only way I know how to try.” I hate admitting that to him. “She won’t hear me out, so what else am I supposed to do?”
He snorts with a wry sort of amusement. “You hurt her. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but of course she isn’t going to be open to hearing what she probably believes will be excuses. She’s protecting herself.”
“I don’t want her to have to protect herself from me.” I want to be the person she goes to when she needs protection. The man she leans on. The person she’d use her one phone call to contact if she were ever arrested. But I surrendered the right to be that person a long time ago.
“Yeah, well, if wanting something made it true then I’d already have a contract with a major league team and a million dollars in my bank account.”
I narrow my eyes, silently warning him to get to the point.
“Maybe you should try something more subtle,” he suggests.
I scowl. Subtle isn’t really my thing. “Like what?”
He shrugs. “It’s not my job to sort this shit out for you. I’m just doing my best to keep Echo safe—emotionally, as well as physically.” He scratches his stubbled jaw. “Do you have any mutual friends who could ease her into the idea of talking to you?”
“No,” I say instinctively, but then stop and think. I can’t afford to dismiss any idea without at least considering it. Not when I have so much ground to make up. Sure, I’m moving forward with her, but there’s a long way to go before she might be willing to give me a second chance.
We didn’t share any friends in high school because we were from different worlds. My friends were rich, privileged, and for the most part, on the hockey team. Other than that, the only people I spent time with were the girls I hooked up with.
The few students who didn’t shun Echo for being there on a scholarship—and therefore beneath them—were more academically inclined. To them, her brilliant mind made her their equal. But those same people weren’t interested in my average grades and didn’t understand my love of hockey.
Or my occasional hatred of it.
Even if we had gone to school with someone who fit the bill, I’m not in touch with anyone from high school anymore, and that’s the way I like it.
Well, except for my sister.
Of course. Soraya.
Echo never got to know her other than in passing, but surely, she’ll be more open to listening to another woman. Especially a younger, non-threatening one.
“Ryan, you’re a genius,” I exclaim.
He eyeballs me. “I’m not sure I like your expression, but I won’t ask. Just remember that if you blow it, I know how to wield a bat and I’m not afraid to use one to crush your ball sack.”
I wince. Maybe he’s not as nice as I always thought he was. “I won’t. There’s no need to threaten my nuts.”
He mimes smacking a bat against his palm as he walks past me and out the exit. I glance at my watch and swear. Better get a move on.
Someone slaps my shoulder.
“Come on, Kinsey. Move it.” It’s Matthews. He yanks me along beside him, heading for the locker room.
“Let go, you dick,” I growl, jerking my shoulder free of his grip.
He just laughs. “God, you’re so uptight. Who was that guy?”
I debate staying quiet, but the whole damn team knows I’m hung up on Echo, so there’s no reason to hide it. “One of Echo’s friends.”
He turns toward me, his eyebrows inching toward his hairline. “Just a friend?”
“Yes.”
“So, how’s that going?” He pushes open the locker room door and a cacophony of voices greets us. “Can we expect to see her wearing your number in the stands during our next game?”
I grimace. “It might be a while before that happens.”
If ever.
Matthews shakes his head. “And here I thought you’re the kind of guy who has game with the ladies.”
“There’s only one lady I want.”
“We know,” Ruiz cries, obviously eavesdropping. “You’re whipped, man. But you’ve gotta keep us updated. We need details.”
A grin steals over my face. “You’re all idiots.”
They drop the topic after that, and we all get our gear on and head out for practice. It’s a brutal one. Coach is in a bad mood, and he works us hard. But despite my teammates’ bitching, I don’t have any complaints. I’m too busy plotting what I’m going to say to Soraya when I call her.
As soon as practice ends, I shower and leave the stadium. I sit in my Audi in the parking lot and find my sister’s number.
“Hey,” I say when she answers.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
I frown. “Fine. Why?”
“You don’t usually call for no reason. Especially not when we live so near to each other that you could just drop by.” I can practically hear the shrug in her voice.
“Sorry for worrying you. I just had an idea that I’m hoping you’ll help me with.”
“Oh?” She sounds interested but not upset, which is a relief. “What?”
“I need a favor.”