20
Fásach’s mood had flipped on a dime. He’d been so panicked at first, so worried about what I’d think of him, and now so…
So sinful.
Dios mio,I could get used to the predatory gleam in his eye.
[Analysis] Fásach was almost unrecognizable. Huge, honed, his tresses long enough now that he needed to brush them behind his ears. They still stood between his antlers like a zebra’s forelock but had begun to bow under the weight and length.
I missed his softer downy from when he was narrow and slim. It would have been so nice for snuggling, right? He was perfect to snuggle, no matter what. Vague sensory memories of hugging someone, tangled up in crisp yellow sheets, whispered through my LMem. A rare moment, in which Rosy had been content, hopeful, and vulnerable. I automatically rubbed my left ring finger, expecting to find a weight there, but there was nothing, of course.
Had she loved someone?
Did I love someone too?
[Warning]
[Elevated vitals]
“Stay,” Fásach gruffed. “Don’t move.” He mounted the shallow terrace steps at my feet, approaching me in a straight line across the circular room. His pupils dilated, watching me like he was stalking me through the trees of his homeworld. Slowly, quietly, he stopped in front of me and leaned his forehead against mine.
“I’m going to say the things I want out loud more often,” he promised, rubbing his antlers against my silk.
“Good, because I’ll probably like everything you say,” I breathed. Fásach’s claws wrapped around my biceps, their points catching on my thermal shirt.
“I want to fuck you, for instance,” he purred. His nose pushed against my ear until I tilted my head away, baring my neck. Sparks of lightning zipped through my nerve mesh as he nipped the column of my pulse. “But not right now. No matter what I say, don’t let me. Got it?”
I blinked with confusion, but he bit me again a little harder, leaving behind a sting. I gasped and nodded. “Yes, Fás.” Then he massaged his tongue into the spot and sucked the skin lightly into his mouth.
“Good.”
He slid off his boots, shucked his shirt, and disappeared behind me with a deep huhuhuh of excitement. “On your knees. Don’t turn around.”
I descended to my knees in front of the bedroll and sat on my heels, breath crushed in the vise of my anticipation. My brow creased as I explored just how much of this anticipation was me. Could I say no? Did I want to?
“Stop,” I tested. He froze, a chirrup of worry bubbling up his chest. The knot behind my sternum eased, and I nodded. “It’s okay, keep going.”
Fásach lowered behind me, his now massive arms locked around my ribs. He squeezed and the air whoofed out of my lungs as he pulled me back against his chest. The bar of his erection pressed into the small of my back and he flexed his hips, rubbing it against my spine. I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my fingers around his forearm.
Adrenaline coursed through my blood, shaking my fingers as I slid them over his thigh. But then Fás bit my ear hard enough to make me wince and freeze. When he let go, he licked the pain and nuzzled his antler nubs against my silk.
“No. We’re going to prove that you can be selfish, Roz. No reciprocating.”
“None?” I breathed, hand hovering over his leg.
“None.” He laughed, tickling my ear with the tip of his tongue. “And if this doesn’t prove it to you, I don’t know what will.”
“Why?”
“Rut isn’t like normal sex,” Fásach admitted, his throat dry. “It’s painful to deny it, and not in a fun way.” His breath shuddered. “My joints ache, my head pounds, the pressure in my cock is killing me, Roz, and your cunt is the cure-all.”
I tried to turn around, to face him and tell him I’d take care of him. I didn’t want him to be in pain, not ever.
But he fisted my hair and made me look straight ahead. When I tried to rub at his knee, he snatched my hand and held it still, snapping his teeth next to my ear in warning.
“Oh no, you don’t. You’re going to deny me, Roz.”
“I-I can’t,” I gulped. He was in pain…
“Yes, you can. Edge me, deny me. Take everything you possibly can. Be selfish.” His snarl softened into a whine of longing. “That’s how you’ll know it’s you.”
My pussy grew warm and slippery at his words. I squeezed my thighs together as Fás breathed in deep, sliding one of his hands down the front of my chest. He dragged a claw across my nipple and my heart jolted.
“Be vocal,” he purred into my neck. He rubbed his nose against my ear, then licked my lobe with a moan. “Tell me no as much as you want.”
I nodded, and he pinched it with his fang.
“I understand!” I gasped, digging my nails harder into his forearm. His other hand pushed its way between my thighs, brushing against the center seam of my thermal pants. My throat grew tight as he teased the length of my pussy, pressing his claws into the thermal weave to leave behind a trail of pinpricks.
My stomach flipped as he hooked those claws around my waistband, the thick, calloused pads of his palm meeting my bare stomach. He pushed down my hips, and I scooted my pants down over the swell of my butt.
“Get rid of them,” he growled impatiently. I pushed them off my heels and left them in a tangle between my feet.
Fás grabbed my ankles one by one and draped my thighs over his. He gripped my knees as he widened his own, baring my sex to the chilly air so that my pussy clenched in fearful anticipation. Then he leaned his mouth into my ear and gently curled his claw-tipped fingers around my neck.
“What do you like, Roz?” he purred, brushing his thumb against my chin.
“I-I don’t know. I’m not programmed for this.”
“Then you need to tell me as we go.”
His other hand slid off my knee, blazing a trail along my inner thigh. His grip on my neck tightened just so as he angled my face down so I could see his middle finger disappear into the curve of my mound.
My breath stuttered out of my lungs as he pressed his finger pad against my entrance, dabbing at the fluids gathering there. He spread them up and down, up and down, working warmth into my folds, exploring as his index and middle finger stretched me open, then pressed on my clit, pinched my labia, or raked his claws carefully over the quaking fat of my inner thigh.
At first it was too new and contrary to stir anything in me at all. Part of me was uncomfortable, even. He wasn’t supposed to spend time on me. I was supposed to dote on him instead. Loosen him up, satiate his lust, be his pet.
He whined, rocking his cock against my back as he gnawed on my shoulder, licking my skin with that wide pink tongue. “I want to own you, Roz. I want your cunt to suck me in until we’re both lathered in sweat. It hurts… Please let me fuck you.”
“N-no,” I panted. Then I squirmed, trying to move my legs off of his, and he clutched my jaw with a snarl that made his upper lip shiver on my cheekbone. He slapped my pussy hard, and I gasped at the sudden shock of heat.
Deliciousheat.
When his fingers moved to soothe the sting, I moaned, some of that hesitation melting away. He whimpered with worry against my ear.
“Sorry,” he panted. “It’s the rut. Did I hurt y—”
I yanked on his tresses, and he bared his teeth.
“Do it again,” I breathed.
The slap was instant, sharp, and needle hot, thanks to the points of his claws. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, saliva pooling in the divot of my collarbone as a sinister huhuhuh tumbled out of his chest with excitement.
And when he picked up circling and swooping once more, playing me like a violin, the bud of my clit was swollen and tingling. I pulled his tresses again and bit the claw pressing precariously against my bottom lip, couching my tongue against its point. Then my voice broke as he focused his efforts, and my hips gyrated with an insatiable need, winding up and up.
I fumbled my free hand between us, pulling the latches open on his pants. He snarled, but I did the same right back, lifting my shirt so his head would slip against my bare skin. I ground back on it, crushing it between us. Fásach whined again, a piercing sound in my ear that made me breathless.
“I won’t fuck you, just let me slide it through your cunt,” he panted. “Please, please—”
“No!” I cracked with giddy exhilaration, rocking my hips against his hand. He held still for me as I wet his claws, rubbing them in desperation. My breath faltered to a stop as I lifted my weight by his tresses and forearm to fuck his hand just right…
All the power in my body zeroed in on the crux of my legs. My vision dimmed, voice shattering, legs quivering. My pussy thumped. Over and over like a boxer engine, shifting the foundations of what I knew to be true about myself. That I was built to be an inert vessel for someone else’s this. This overwhelming attention to me, to my pleasure, at the hands of the person I trusted most to rise to the call of my wants and desires. Fásach, who had driven us towards the cliff until I ripped the wheel from his hands and stepped on the gas.
As I fell limp, sprawled open across his lap, his palm stroking soft, soothing circles over my pulsing sex, he panted, thrusting his hips against my back.
“I want to come, Roz,” he snarled.
I writhed on his lap languidly, sated, a little smirk spread across my lips.
“No,” I teased.
He pressed his antlers to my shoulder, holding my hips in place, rolling against me. Perhaps he heard the jest in my voice, because he didn’t stop this time. I turned my head to breathe against his neck, feeling the strain of his tendons against my cheek, and reached one hand behind me. The angle was awkward, but I grasped his cock and let him pump into my fist. His body crunched in on itself, then he groaned and his shaft jumped, painting my spine within my shirt with hot, thick semen. As his abdominal wall eased, he pumped into my hand again, and within moments, he came more.
“Thank you,” Fás shuddered.
I slid my clean hand into his tresses and combed them with my nails, humming in gratitude. As he fell limp against our supplies and banded my chest in a hard hug, I thought about the day I was born.
Master had run my diagnostics. He’d tested my vocal range, how believable I was when I begged or pretended to come. How pretty I might be able to cry. How breathlessly I could thank someone. But he’d never seen me. I’d felt nothing while doing those things except a pet-like loyalty and gratitude towards a man who’d scoured imperfections off my skin because Rosy wanted me to represent a hollow victory over her self-hatred.
Well, I felt everything now.
“So?” Fás murmured. “Are you you, Roz?”
I laid my head on his chest as his embrace softened. Tears welled along the rim of my eyes but didn’t fall. “Mm,” I managed. [Power low] My hand waved through the air in a drunken arc and Fás caught it, pressing our clasped hands to my chest. I creased my brow with confusion. I felt lethargic, slow, powerless. “You’re still hard, I can tell. I shouldn’t need to charge again, but—”
“I’m fine, Roz. And maybe you need to sleep.”
Fás slid out from behind me and tilted me sideways, resting my head against a foam pillow. He brushed my silk out of my face and swallowed hard, taking care to clean my back and the inside of my shirt with a wet towel. He didn’t get all of it though, instead rubbing some of it into my skin with his thumb. Just a few drops that made me feel warm inside for reasons other than sex and that I didn’t quite understand.
“How do I sleep?” I asked in a small voice, cheek resting on my forearms.
“Close your eyes.” He kissed my forehead, his tresses tangling with my curls as he righted my thermal pants and started redressing me. “Then you’ll just… drift away for a while.”
I doubted I’d be able to do that. I’d always initiated my own charging mode before. Nothing just happened for a machine.
But then Fásach drew his blanket, filled with the scent of his fur, over my shoulders, and the tide of sleep lulled me into a sea of memories and echoes.
Echoes that were important and just for me.