Chapter 18
“Come in,” Rance said, turning toward the door.
Bonnie opened the door and peeked around its edge. “Morning! Can I come in?” she asked, looking first at Gwen and then at Rance.
“You know you can,” Rance said. “What channel are those cartoons on downstairs?” he asked, looking at the television again as he aimed the remote at it and started flipping channels again.
Gwen smiled tiredly up at her. “I’m better. I’m actually conscious today without falling asleep every five minutes.”
“Part of that is most likely whatever they put you to sleep with yesterday so they could put you back together. You scared the heck out of us,” Bonnie said.
“Sorry. I just didn’t want to be any trouble. I was sure I would heal enough to handle it on my own.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“That?!” Beau asked, pointing at the tray Bonnie still held.
“That’s some breakfast and smoothies.”
“Nanana?” Beck asked.
Bonnie grinned at them and chuckled. “Yes, it’s got nanana, and strawberries and blueberries, too.
” Both little boys got excited as Bonnie handed them each a sippy cup filled with smoothie.
“I brought you a smoothie, too, and some French toast and sausage. They’ve got some French toast and sausage, too. ”
“Thank you so much,” Gwen said. While more like herself, and definitely looking better with her color returning, she was still weak.
“You don’t have to thank me, Gwen. You took care of me, we’re taking care of you. I’d have been here beside you like you were with me, but Rance practically growled at everybody who offered to relieve him. And I knew without a doubt you’re as safe as you’ve ever been with him at your side.”
Gwen shook her head gently. “No worries. My ladies and my babies needed you. Rance has things covered.”
Bonnie smiled at her and put the tray on the bedside table. “Here, let me help you get into a more upright position so you can eat without choking.”
“I got it!” Rance said, suddenly standing beside Bonnie.
“I can do it,” Bonnie said.
“Yes, but, let me,” he said, nudging Bonnie to the side a bit. He slid one of his hands beneath Gwen’s back, then allowed her to hold onto his other arm as he helped support her, at her own rate of movement, to a more sitting position.
“I think that’s as far as I want to sit up at the moment,” Gwen said.
“I got the pillows,” Bonnie said, adjusting the pillows behind Gwen, and quickly grabbing the others from the opposite side of the bed and using them to further secure her in place as well. “How’s that?” Bonnie asked, as Rance stood back and let her see how it felt without him supporting her.
“This is good. I like this much better than flat on my back. And I think I’m up enough that I won’t choke,” Gwen said.
“Excellent. Rance, there’s enough on Gwen’s platter for you, too, and a smoothie. If you guys want some coffee, I’ll bring that up, too.”
“I’d love some coffee,” Rance said.
“I’d just like the smoothie for now,” Gwen said, smiling at Bonnie as she handed it to her.
“Want some tea or something?” she asked.
“Maybe a little later. But this is fine for now. Thank you so much, Bonnie.”
“You’re more than welcome, and just let me know when you want that tea.”
“Shaushash,” Beck asked, pointing at the sectioned plastic plates that were obviously for kids.
“You want a sausage?” Bonnie asked.
“Yes!” Beck said, going and sitting down beside his brother who was engrossed in whatever cartoon the Disney Channel was playing at the moment.
Bonnie took both children’s plates and put them down on the carpet, one in front of each boy. She tucked a couple of paper towels across both their laps. “There you go,” Bonnie said, not expecting an answer.
“Tannt tou,” they both chimed in unison.
Bonnie laughed. “I miss having them this little. They haven’t figured out yet that talking back is a thing.”
“I’m sure they’re saving it all up for the next couple of years when it really counts most,” Gwen said before taking a sip of her smoothie.
“Teenage!” Bonnie said.
“Oh, gosh. Don’t remind me,” Gwen said, leaning her head back against the pillows stacked high behind her. “This is so good,” Gwen said.
“Isn’t it, though? Greek yogurt, honey — pasteurized, not raw, cause babies — blueberries, strawberries, banana, and vanilla ice cream.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff,” Gwen said, taking another sip.
“Now, y’all eat your food, too. I’ll be back with some coffee in just a few minutes.”
Bonnie left the room and Gwen watched Rance, squatting down beside Beck and Beau, making sure they were set up and their food was cut up in small enough pieces. She smiled to herself, seeing the bond already forming between the boys and Rance. He was really good with them, patient and kind.
“Okay, now I’m going to help Momma eat her breakfast, and you guys finish yours, okay?”
Both boys, busy chewing their food, just nodded as they used their toddler forks to spear another piece of French toast.
Rance turned around and caught Gwen watching wearing a slight smile and tears in her eyes before she had time to blink them away.
“You alright?” he asked.
She nodded and looked away.
“What’s got you teary-eyed? Do you need something?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay.”
He watched her for a few more moments. “Did I do something?” he asked, wanting to make it right, whatever it was.
“Not like you’re thinking. I’m just thankful.”
“For?”
“You, taking on caring for me and my boys without hesitation. Down to making sure their food is cut up. Not many men would do that. They’re already responding to you like they’ve known you all their lives.”
“It’s important to me that they’re comfortable here, too. They need to know they’re safe and free to be whoever they want to be so they can grow up strong and confident,” Rance said.
Gwen nodded ever so slightly as she looked away from him and quickly blinked her eyes a few times to scatter the few tears that were beginning to pool again.
“I know it’s hard, but it’ll be okay. I promise, I’ll make sure of it,” Rance said.
“I know. Grail was right.”
Rance canted his head a bit, focusing on her. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“He said that I was to come here and to trust you. That you’d take care of the three of us.”
“He said that? That you were to trust me?”
Gwen nodded. “I know why, I’m not a fool. But that instinct doesn’t mean that either party is a good person. Something in Grail knew you were, and are. He knew we’d be safe with you.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I feel flattered that he cared enough to send us to you. I feel angry that he didn’t leave with us.
I feel grateful that we were accepted here.
And when I see you interact with Beau and Beck, I know that this is where we belong.
But…” she stopped talking, her eyes dropping from focusing on him to look at the smoothie in her hands.
“You can’t help but feel a little guilty.”
She nodded again and looked up at him. “Can you understand that?”
“Understand it? Hah! I lived it, but in a different way. Imagine walking confidently onto the land of a Pride that is sheltering your Reigna and Alpha as your Reigna heals. You’re looking forward to seeing them again, looking forward to meeting new people, maybe even making new friends and strengthening bonds to be able to support each other in the future.
The first thing you see is your mate. The mate you never knew for sure you’d find, and she’s mated to the Alpha of the other Pride.
Not only that, they’ve got babies, and they’re all deliriously happy.
To make matters worse, you actually like the Alpha.
He’s a good male. And he knows what you are to his mate, and what she is to you.
But he treats you with respect. He behaves honorably.
And all you can do is imagine taking him out because he’s standing between you and what belongs to you.
” Rance closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.
“It’s why I stayed out of the house. It’s why I stayed away from you.
It’s why I left as soon as I could. You were happy and you deserved to be happy.
Those boys deserved to grow up with their father.
And their father deserved to maintain his rightful place beside the three of you.
I exerted more self-control over those hours than I ever have in my life. ”
“And Grail knew that. I wasn’t sure if you’d spoken of it of not, but I knew that he knew about the connection between us, just like I did. It wasn’t something he and I discussed, I just knew he knew, especially at the end, why else would he send me to you?”
“We spoke around it, rather than about it. We both knew, neither of us said anything about it. But we knew. You were happy and that was important to me. He thanked me for my integrity, and the whole while I was wishing he’d…”
“Drop dead?” she asked.
“I didn’t feel like I had much integrity then. I still question it today. How excited can I be that I have an opportunity I never thought I would, if it’s a result of so much tragedy? So, yeah, I feel a lot of guilt.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m thankful you’re here. I feel stronger knowing that you’re beside us. I’m grateful you didn’t turn us away.”
“Never. I will protect you for as long as I live, no matter what happens or doesn’t happen between us.”
Gwen took a deep breath and let it out slowly, almost as though she was relieved.
“Can I just say one more thing?” Rance asked.
“Please,” she said.
“Whatever happens between us, if anything ever happens, it’s got to come from you.
I will not insult the bond you had with your mate, nor the bond they had with their father.
You’ll have to be the one to let me know you want this to go further than it is now.
And if all you want is my friendship, me watching over the three of you,” he said, stopping to choose his next words carefully with a shrug, “it’s more than I ever had before and I’m grateful for even that much. ”