Chapter 26
Feral walked into the cafeteria and looked around.
He’d been back for two days and couldn’t figure out why the fuck he was even here.
Sighing in irritation, he looked around the room at everyone sitting with friends, laughing, perfectly happy being where they were, doing what they were doing.
Then his gaze stopped on one table. Hail was sitting alone eating a late breakfast. On a whim he started her way, and without invitation dropped into a chair at her table.
Hail looked up at him. “You look happy.”
“I’m about as happy as you seem to be.” He looked around at all the other people in the cafeteria. “How can they all be so satisfied with where they are? There’s a whole world out there.”
“All most of us know is that at least we’re not still a part of the last one. We’re happy here. Safe. Free,” Hail said.
“True.”
She took a minute to really look him up and down. “So what has you in such a funk?”
“I’m going back,” he blurted out.
Hail stopped chewing and looked up at him again. “Do they know that?”
“Nobody does yet, here or there. But they will.”
“What if he won’t let you stay?”
“Who? Jack? I asked for permission to stay the first day we got there and I realized how much better I felt just being there.”
“What’d he say?” Hail asked, pushing her plate away and focusing on Feral.
“He said he’d be glad to have me. I’d be welcomed there.”
“What about me?”
“I didn’t ask about you. I didn’t know it had occurred to you.”
“It didn’t. Not exactly. But I have to admit I’ve been rethinking every minute I was there. I haven’t been that happy since… well, ever as far as I know. Here, I’m just doing what’s expected of me, you know?”
“Only too well.”
They sat quietly for a few seconds.
“I wanted to stay when Frenzy did,” Hail said.
“So, did I.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Feral huffed a laugh. “My fucked up sense of duty. After everything that happened with Lethal’s team, I feel like everybody is expecting me to fuck up. I had to prove them wrong.”
“That’s on you, dude. I don’t think most people care. But I get feeling like eyes are on you because of the way they treated you. It was fucked up.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I had to make sure I got the three males back and gave my debriefing.”
“Officially brought your last mission to a close,” she said.
“Exactly. And now I have. And I miss Alison. I miss everyone we met there. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“You think Alison will accept you?”
“Do you think Alison will accept me? She’s your friend,” he countered.
Hail smiled. “Yeah, she is. I never had a friend that just liked me for me and not because I was part of a team. Alison is a sweet, trusting, very unassuming female. I don’t think she’s ever had a male.
And she probably thinks that you aren’t any more interested in her than anyone else has ever been.
But if you go back, let her know that you care.
That you’re interested in a relationship with her, I think she’d like that, if you remember she’s a Lion and won’t take kindly to somebody lording it over her. ”
Feral nodded, as he sat there thinking over his options. “I did tell her that. But she didn’t seem convinced. I plan to convince her, though. What about you and your boy? Titus?”
Hail deflated again. “Titus isn’t my boy. He wanted me to stay with him, and I didn’t stay. The moment I said I was going, he clammed up and backed off. I’m pretty sure he hates me now.”
Feral thought about it and finally sat forward, leaning toward her, his arms on the table between them. “You know what Frenzy always says?”
“What’s that?”
“He says there’s a tiny little line between love and hate, and he often refuses to recognize that line. He said that was why he chose to believe that Tawny loved him.”
“But he left her here, he must not have been that sure.”
“She didn’t want him. She fought him at every turn. He said he’s tired of fighting for everything and just wants peaceful and easy. If somebody doesn’t want him, then he doesn’t want them. He refuses to make anybody do anything they don’t want to do to begin with anymore.”
“I lost your point in there somewhere,” Hail said.
“My point is, Titus was so wrapped up in you he was feeding you. Made you a plate, picked out the best pieces of chicken. Made sure you spent the night with him instead of at Alison’s house. If he backed off it’s because he was hurt you didn’t want him.”
“I did want him. But I have responsibilities.”
“You had responsibilities, Hail. Now we’re all just people that are free to make our own choices. My choice is I’m going back.”
“Definitely?” she asked.
“Yep. I’m going to access some of that money they gave me when we were freed, and I’m going to buy a car. Then I’m coming back here, putting my stuff in it, letting Law and Sin know I’m out, and I’m hitting the road.”
“So, like tomorrow?”
“Or tonight, or even today. As soon as I can get it all done.”
Hail sat there, staring directly at Feral as her mind worked in circles.
“What are you thinking?” he finally asked.
“Storm said that Athena has already chosen a different life, she’s having a baby with Scorn.
Storm’s chosen to earn a spot in the SOT teams if she can.
And we don’t hardly even see Torrid and Flash anymore.
Storm said that I shouldn’t feel like I have to remain loyal to a promise I made when life was different.
We aren’t captive anymore and not only would I not be letting anybody down, I have the right and the freedom to choose my own fate rather than holding true to a promise I was forced to make.
And Athena said almost exactly the same thing when we talked when I first got home. ”
“They’re right.”
Hail nodded. “I’ve been back and forth over it a few times on the way back, and again since I got here, too.”
“Let me sum it up for you. I’m going. You don’t have to.
You can go a year from now if you want to, or not at all.
There’s no time limit one way or the other.
But if you want to go with me, you need to be ready within a few hours.
It might take me longer to get everything done and back here, but it might not.
As soon as I get a car and get back here, I’m talking to Sin and/or Law and I’m leaving.
The only things I need to pack are my clothes and my weapons. It won’t take me long.”
Hail nodded.
“One other thing,” he said standing up.
She looked up at him.
“If Titus is really hurt, what’s the fastest way to get over somebody hurting you?”
“Replace them,” Hail said, her face morphing into a mask of anger.
“I’m sure Jack would accept you no matter when or why you show up and ask for sanctuary.
But the longer you wait, the greater the chance Titus assuages his broken heart with a substitute.
You need to make up your mind about going with me.
And maybe you don’t want to. But if you want to go with me, you need to decide now. ”
“What if he won’t have me?” Hail asked.
Feral smirked at her. “You had him practically begging you to stay. You really think he’d refuse you?”
“He was pretty pissed off.”
Feral shrugged. “Think about your night together. Did he give you any indication of what he was feeling?”
Hail thought about it, her mind remembering the feeling, the sounds, the touches, the absolute reverence he touched her with.
Was it wild sex, completely toss caution to the wind and go for it?
Absolutely. But even then, something in his eyes, the way he held her…
it was more than sex. She stood up. “I gotta go talk to Athena.”
“Hours, Hail. You may end up waiting on me, but not for long,” he said as they both moved toward the door of the cafeteria. “And if you’re not out front when I’m ready, I’ll know you decided not to go.”
“I’ll be ready.”
Two tables away from Hail and Feral, Tawny sat with her back to them having a quick breakfast. She’d unintentionally heard every word they said, but realizing they were talking about the place Frenzy was now living, paid particular attention.
She’d been hurt and disappointed when Frenzy didn’t come back, but now she understood why.
He thought she didn’t want him. She thought about the times he’d warned her that she was his and that anybody touching her would be in danger.
She thought about all the times he flirted with her and she shut him down with biting comments and a lack of interest. “I’m a dumb ass,” she muttered to herself.
“Fuck,” she grumbled as she got up and took her tray to one of the cleaning stations and left it there.
Fighting the urge to cry, she blinked rapidly and took exaggeratedly deep breaths to get herself under control as she moved toward the door.
Irritated with herself, for the sudden rush of tears she was fighting, she realized one thing.
The last thing she wanted was to be surrounded by a hundred of the Variant as she failed to control her emotions.
And in the cafeteria, there were always so many people.
It was a gathering place. She had to get out of the cafeteria.
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