Chapter 36
Theodore
I wake up feeling like utter shite, my head buzzing from what happened last night. I can’t believe I did that. I have never almost hit anyone before. I didn’t know I had it in me, to be honest. How could I lose it like that? My grandparents would be so disappointed. The mere idea of them finding out makes me dizzy with worry. Not to mention, if Jack reports me, Mr. Hackle will have no choice but to remove me from the play. APDAS doesn’t tolerate any kind of violence. The one thing I have worked towards tirelessly for three years, gone in a heartbeat because I didn’t stop and think. And Dafne’s face–God. She said we’re good so I have to believe that. Except I know we won’t be for long, since I still have to tell her about the bet.
“I’m going to the theatre,” I tell Devon as I put my shoes on and hastily stuff my script and water in my backpack.
“Wait for me, Theo–”
“I don’t have all day, Devon, I need to go now.” I grab my keys and fling myself out the door, the feeble hope that I can still fix this propelling me to where I need to be, sure that Dafne is going to be there, and hopefully Jack too.
But when I get inside and reach the front row, only Mr. Hackle is in the theatre, his arms crossed over his stomach as he looks over at the stage. When he hears me approach, he casts me a sideways look and gestures for me to sit beside him.
“You know, Theodore, when I was your age, I thought this,” he waves a hand toward the stage, “was all that mattered. That my life didn’t have meaning beyond it, because only on a stage was I truly alive.”
I don’t know where this is going, and I don’t have it in me to say, “ Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? ” so I keep quiet. Jack must have gotten to him first, and this is probably the speech where he tells me he’s kicking me out of the play. I know I deserve it, but I still feel sick.
“Then life happened, and you know what I found out?”
I close my eyes and shake my head. I don’t really want to hear it.
“Acting–it’s a necessity for some. It is for me, and I know it is for you. But you won’t have that heart forever. And when it stops, you don’t want to regret having lived for one thing only.”
I try to process what Mr. Hackle is saying, and the more his words seep in, the more it feels like my heart is going to crack open in my chest. If he expects me to say something back, he doesn’t let it show. He shifts in his seat so he’s finally looking at me.
“You’ll have time to think about that. Now, I would like to hear your version of last night’s events before I make any drastic decisions.”
I feel the color drain from my cheeks, my mouth drying by the second. My heart is beating furiously as his words echo in my head. Drastic decisions–replacing me in the show.
“Mr. Hackle,” I start, shaking my head. “I don’t–I don’t have a good explanation for my behaviour,” I say honestly. “Jack said that Dafne and I both got the leads because we’re together, and he said something else about her and it just … made me so angry. Because I know how hard we both have worked for this–which I realise is no excuse.”
He purses his lips and nods slowly. “Your understudy would be ecstatic to take your place, you know.”
I take a deep breath, trying not to pass out. “I know. He probably deserves the role more than I do right now.”
“Perhaps,” Mr. Hackle says as he gets up with a grunt, motioning for me to do the same.
“But I have faith in the Romeo I chose.”
I look at him, my mouth opening and closing on nothing.
“But Jack– ”
“Hasn’t filed a formal complaint. He’s come directly to me since no actual damage was done. I believe you have to thank your friends for that.”
I nod wordlessly as my shoulders slump.
“I postponed dress rehearsal for half an hour so we could have this chat, so get your arse backstage. Your castmates will be here any minute,” he adds.
I shake his hand once. “Thank you, sir,” is all I can muster. He nods, rubbing on his short beard, then takes the stepladder that leads to the stage, disappearing behind the backstage curtains.
“Alright, Theo,” I whisper to myself, “on to make things right.”