Chapter Seventeen #2
“Fuck you, Camden. Give me my shirt.” Instead of giving it back to me, he stuffs it into my backpack and stomps over to his dresser, producing an all-black T-shirt.
I stand there in the doorway of the bathroom in nothing but my underwear, with my breasts clasped by my hand and forearm, as he stomps right back up to me and pulls his shirt over my head.
The soft cotton fabric glides over my skin as it falls to my thighs.
I slip my arms through the holes as Camden gathers up my long hair and pulls it free.
“Much better, baby.” I give him an exaggerated eyeroll, even if my insides are screaming in comfort, his rich scent surrounding me.
I climb into bed on the side I used to be cuffed to, dark memories playing in my mind from the last time I was here.
I slip into the familiar sheets, the cool fabric soft against my freshly shaven legs.
Camden gets settled behind me, probably lying on his back like he usually does. I stay facing away from him, re-reading the name tags that are on his wall, wondering who they were and how they died.
“Saige?”
“What?”
“I know we have a lot of shit between us, but can I hold you? I really want to fucking hold you, baby.” Camden’s voice is a near desperate plea, the tone that he gives everyone else around him left outside the door, and the soft, tender caress he uses with me when we aren’t fighting soothes over every single one of my scars like a balm.
The early morning light shines through the windows and directly into my face long before my body wants to rise.
Blindly slapping around for my phone, I see it’s only seven in the morning.
It takes me a moment to realize where I am, the current situation starting to unravel, right along with the heavy weight around my stomach and the warm body pressed firmly against my back.
Back in Amberwood.
In the Hell’s Heathens’ clubhouse.
God, when was the last time I slept through the night? Neither of us had a nightmare last night, for as best as I can remember, and Camden’s have always woken me up.
I have several missed phone calls and texts from Seb, and it’s clear he didn’t find the note I left him on his bathroom mirror. If he even came home at all last night.
I send our code phrase, the one we came up with in college, because Seb likes to go hard when it comes to hookups, and since neither of us would be caught dead in a pink sweater, having both not liking the color, it was perfect.
Me: Hey did you ever find my pink sweater?
Seb: For fuck’s sake, Saige, I’m pretty sure you made me lose like ten of my hairs!
Me: Ten? Call the National Guard! It’s a travesty!
Seb: You really are good?
Me: As good as I can be. If you see two guys on bikes that are hanging around the house, they’re a gift from Camden.
Seb: Do they get to play inside?
Me: No, firmly to look and not touch, they’re there for some added protection
Seb: Should I be worried?
Me: You put criminals away for a living by representing their victims, you should always be worried lol
Seb: Be safe babycakes. I love you
Me: Love you too
Camden starts to stir behind me, his hand flexing on my stomach, fingers starting to move slowly across my skin in a sensual caress. Goosebumps erupt across, spreading over my body. I know I’m not cuffed anymore, but I also don’t feel free here.
Camden’s hand tightens, closing the few inches of space that were between us.
His morning wood presses into my lower back, and I can’t help but shimmy back against it.
I know exactly how that thing feels inside me.
Camden’s face presses into the back of my head, an audible deep inhale as he breathes me in.
“You smell so good, Saige. Love having you in my bed. Want to get used to this.” The last remaining shreds of resolve I have melt away at his words, and I turn in his arms, just as he slides on top of me.
My legs open naturally for him as he rests his hips against mine and cradles my face within his large palms. His hard cock slips against my core; the only thing separating our bodies is the thin fabric we’re each wearing.
“You feel incredible in my arms, like you were made to be right here,” Camden whispers tenderly, sending chills down every inch of my body.
I feel him harden further, my clit throbbing in need as my eyes flutter closed.
I tentatively gyrate my hips, finding that sweet spot where the underside of his length rubs back and forth, where I need him the most.
His body responds urgently to mine, the heat in the room ratcheting up to an inferno.
His hands roam down my waist, over the curve of my bare ass, digging his fingertips into my muscles, tracing along the fabric of my thong.
He moans his appreciation, giving it a firm squeeze.
Strong arms lift me slightly, tilting my pelvis back for easier access as he starts to thrust against me.
Pleasure shoots through my veins, a throbbing need coursing through me at a volatile rate.
I want this man so bad.
I rock my hips against him, unable to contain the moans that escape my lips at the feel of his hard body against mine.
My hands roam over his arms, the muscles straining and strong.
Camden doesn’t take his eyes from my face as he gazes into mine with lustful hunger that matches my own.
We continue to rock against each other, a rough hump of our bodies, desperate to race for release.
“Come for me, my queen. Let me start my day watching you fall apart.”
“Oh, god.” I can’t help it, I combust. The coil inside me finally snaps, pleasure spreading outward.
My body spasms in his arms as he continues to lift and drop my hips as we need, rubbing that thick length between my soaked pussy lips.
The fabric between us is drenched, and I know he can feel it, loves it, wants it.
“You’re making me come, baby. This sweet, beautiful body. Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuck, Saige!” Camden groans as he fills his briefs with cum. I can feel the throb of his cock, the wet, sticky fluid that dampens the fabric.
It’s so hot.
Camden drops my ass back on the bed with one last squeeze, his body collapsing completely back down on mine. His hands find my face again, holding me tenderly as he looks into my eyes like I’m the greatest thing the world has ever created.
“Thank you. For giving me a piece of you. I’ll devour anything you give.”
My heart melts, but I’m abruptly brought back to reality as my orgasm fades away, my mind finally catching up with what happened, the guilt setting in.
“Let’s start the day. Am I allowed out of here?” I whisper, trying to change the subject as I scoot out from underneath him. He lets me go, his arm falling to the bed as I finally get free.
“You can. We’re on lockdown, always carry your gun, don’t even think about leaving the property without me, and there’s someone who’s coming down to see you today.” My eyebrows pinch together as I look down at him. “Kinsey.”
I find Kinsey sitting outside with an orange drink in her hand.
She’s wearing tight denim jeans, tall knee-high boots, and an ivory, off-the-shoulder top, her hair piled on top of her head, large hoop earrings dangling in her ears.
She’s so girly but so tough. Her girly side reminds me of Willow, and my chest aches with heartbreak.
“Hey,” I say in greeting as I walk outside to the back porch. I’ve never been out here before, and the views are incredible. Nothing but wild lupines, tall spruce trees, and the Olympic Mountains for miles and miles. It’s serene and beautiful.
“Hey, Saige. Good to see you again.”
“Yeah? Didn’t really meet on the best of terms last time.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Reid carried me inside, right through the clubhouse, and into his room my first time here, too.” I wince at her words. “Do you drink?” she asks as she takes a sip of her beverage.
“On occasion, but I mostly try to stay in control at all times.”
“Why don’t we try to let go a little. You want a mimosa?”
A drink doesn’t sound half terrible, and I’ve never had a mimosa. I give her a genuine smile. She’s trying. “Sure, that sounds good.”
Kinsey picks up her phone and sends off a text message.
I laugh under my breath. I couldn’t imagine just sending a text to someone and having them fetch something for me.
We sit in silence, looking out at the beautiful Washington skyline.
It’s peaceful, and something, I realize, I haven’t experienced in a long, long time.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had to be on the go.
Working, studying, stressing. There hasn’t been a lot of time for sitting in silence and being present in nature.
Willow loved being outside, basking in the sunshine, roaming the beaches when we’d take trips to La Push. I tolerated it because it made her so happy, and now it only reminds me of what I’ve lost.
Heavy footsteps break through the quiet, Kinsey’s face lighting up in a smile as Rogue slides the glass door open and steps out with two drinks in his hand.
“Sweetheart, you wanted these?”
“Thank you, baby. We appreciate it,” she says sweetly. He bends at the waist, dropping a sickly-sweet kiss to her forehead. I can’t help but smile at the ease of affection they have with each other.
Rogue walks away, closing the door behind him with an audible click, while Kinsey turns in her seat to face me more directly.
“How long have you two been together?”
“A little over a year. It’s been a whirlwind, honestly, and the only easy part about it was what we have with each other. How’s it going with Camden?” Her question causes me to pause, pulling my lip between my teeth and gnawing on it, an image of us dry humping this morning flashing behind my eyes.
“It’s not really going anywhere. I don’t know, it’s really complicated. I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, try me. I’m a good listener. My brothers went through some serious shit to find their partners, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all. Not a lot can shock me. Plus, it may help to talk it through?”
“He’s responsible for the car accident that killed my parents and my sister.” I watch as Kinsey’s soft, welcoming features pale, sadness filling her eyes.
“Jesus Christ, Saige. I’m so sorry.”
“How can I ever move past that? Even if it were an accident, even if he tried to save them, every time I’m with him and my guard is down, guilt creeps in after.
“I can’t imagine how your loyalty is torn. I don’t envy your position. Does he make you happy?”
Does he? We haven’t had an opportunity to find out if we make each other happy.
He makes me feel powerful and strong, and I love that he’s not threatened by those qualities when so many other men are.
I feel this magnetism toward him that crackles like a growing fire whenever we’re close.
He makes me feel beautiful, cherished, cared for, and protected, even though those things are so foreign to me.
But does he make me happy? Do those things equate to happiness?
“I can see you’re feeling some kind of way about him based on the look on your face.”
“I definitely feel some sort of way about him, yeah. That’s a good way to put it.” I pick up my mimosa, taking a sip from it, and smiling as the cool liquid spreads over my taste buds. It’s bubbly and tart, but refreshingly good. “This is great, thank you.”
“Do you know what you’re going to do? After it’s safe for you to leave here?”
“Honestly? No. I can’t imagine staying. My family must be rolling over in their graves at my behavior. I know I’m a massive disappointment.”
“Oh, god, don’t talk about yourself like that.
I obviously didn’t get the pleasure of meeting them, but I’d like to think that your family would want you to be happy, and if you’ve found love, they’d rest easy.
We’re human. Beautifully flawed. All of us a little broken.
I used to be so scared of how my family would react when they found out about me and Reid. ”
“Reid?”
“Rogue. Sometimes I forget everyone here only calls him that. He’s my brother Sawyer’s best friend. Close to all four of them, actually. I’m the baby.”
“Oof. Now I don’t envy you.”
“Yeah. It comes with so much love, it’s suffocating. But at the end of the day, they want me to be happy. And that’s with Reid . . . Rogue. Once I fell in love with him, nothing else mattered to me but us.”
“And if your family disagreed?”
“I’d have walked away from them, even threatened them with that at one point. It would have destroyed me, don’t get me wrong. But losing him,” she continues as she nods her head in her man’s direction, “it would have killed me.”
Killed her. Can love really be that deep?
I survived losing my entire family, but if I walked away from Camden for good, would it kill me?
I don’t think it would. But maybe love is different for everyone.
Maybe it’s a choice. What would it be like for me to choose to put my vendetta to the side, to let Camden love me the way he so badly wants to?
Choose him. Choose myself. To no longer live in the shadow I’ve cast over myself, where my only reason for living is revenge .
. . I can’t even imagine what that would be like.
“He doesn’t let people in.” I look back at Kinsey as her words pull me from my own thoughts. “Camden.”
“He doesn’t?”
“No one. We aren’t close. He’d protect me with his life; he values me and is happy for Reid.
But he doesn’t let me in. Rhys-er-Sin? Different story.
He’s one of my best friends. Wrath is the biggest sweetheart, even if he has some kinks you’ll need to get used to seeing.
Even Malice is easier to get through to than their president.
Chaos suffered loss, too, Saige. A deep one. ”
My head snaps back like she punched me.
“He didn’t tell you.” Not a question. My heart plummets down to the pit of my stomach. “Doesn’t surprise me. I only know because he lost someone the same day Reid did. Go easy on him. Even if he isn’t it for you, just let our family be.”
“Family?”
“Like I said when we met, yeah, a family. That’s what we are, Saige. It may be unconventional, you may not understand it, but evil doesn’t lie here within these walls. They may do some questionable things, but they all have huge hearts. We take care of each other. Chaos most of all.”
Her words string together like puzzle pieces snapping into place, and I replay them over and over again in my head.
A family.