Chapter Twenty-Three
MONROE
The next morning comes with light streaming in from the large windows at the front of my house and a warm body wrapped up behind me. Last night was intense and mind-blowing. I’m reminded of the reality of what we did by the throbbing ache between my legs.
Not losing my virginity until now wasn’t exactly the plan, but after the accident, I spent so long healing, then focusing on school, and now working, that dating never became a reality.
Let’s not forget that the dating pool in Amberwood is slim, especially when everyone knows me as the girl who survived when three other kids didn’t.
I don’t want anyone’s pity, and I certainly didn’t want to give away my virginity just because it was a box to check off.
I’ve wanted to have sex before now, I just haven’t had the opportunity.
I never gave much stock to holding onto it, mostly because I wasn’t saving it for some special occasion or the right person.
But after last night? I’ve never been more glad that I didn’t experience that with anyone but Crew.
I slip out of bed, his body not even stirring, and head to the bathroom to clean up, washing off in a quick shower. Once I’m out, my hair is easy to fix since it just naturally hangs straight around my face anyway, but I spend a minute wiping away the mascara that bled through my tears.
After I leave the bathroom, I get started on some pancakes for us.
I hope he likes them. The fact that he had never cracked an egg before was so endearing.
I love that I got to teach him something and show him something new.
I can’t imagine what his life has been like or how he ended up in a motorcycle club to begin with.
The last time I asked him about his past, he said it was a sad story, and that breaks my heart.
I’m eager for him to meet my family, and I know they’ll accept him for who he is.
After getting the batter whipped up, I pour cupfuls on the pan, the sizzling louder than I’d like. I get through two rounds on my little frying pan before Crew stirs behind me.
“Good morning. I was wondering if you were going to sleep all morning. I was so scared my cooking would wake you.” I take the last of the pancakes off the skillet and turn off the burner before spinning to face him.
Crew snatches me around the waist, hauling me on top of him as he falls back onto the bed.
He turns us so we’re lying on our sides, his hand finding its home cupping the side of my neck and jaw.
“You sleep like the dead. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“No, because I don’t sleep.”
“With people?”
“No, period. I don’t sleep. I’m lucky if I get two hours a night.”
“That sounds terrible. Why?”
“Nightmares, pixie.”
“But you slept here, we slept together.”
“I can’t explain it any more than you can. You calm me. Settle me. Bring me a peace I’ve never had before.”
“Crew, I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say, pixie girl. I’m glad I met you.” I smile up at him, my hands roaming through his wild blond hair.
“Me too. I made us pancakes. Do you like those? I wasn’t sure and thought it was a safe bet.”
“I love anything, I’m not picky.”
“Perfect. I’ll make us plates. There are towels in that closet right there. You can use that bathroom if you need.”
“And wash you off me? I’m not ready for that.”
I don’t know what to say to that, but I smile anyway. He’s truly insane. And I’m falling fast and hard for him. Crew sits up in my bed, resting his back against the headboard as I make our plates, loading his up with the majority of the pancakes and some blueberries I had in the fridge.
I climb back into bed next to him, and we both dig in, eating in a comfortable silence. I could get used to this.
“What do you have going on today? I’m not ready to give you up.”
“Promise not to laugh?”
“I’d never laugh at you.”
“My grandma is part of a bowling league, and she kind of weaseled me into joining when the Amberwood librarian, Mrs. Payne, broke her hip a few months ago.”
“What’s bowling?”
My face falls, unsure if I heard him correctly.
“What?”
“What’s. Bowling?”
“Crew. You don’t know what bowling is?”
“Why would I know what bowling is?”
“Oh my god. Okay, hold on. It’s so fun.” I pull out my phone and bring up some videos online of people bowling and show Crew. He watches with sweet curiosity, and it’s the most endearing thing to witness.
“You’re a member of a bowling team like this? That’s cute.”
“You think that’s cute? Wait until you hear their name. Ballbusters.”
Crew laughs, and it’s a sound that seems so private, so rare, that I soak up every beat of it. “Yikes, that sounds ominous. I’m surprisingly not into that,” he says as he cups his crotch. “You’re something special, pixie. I bet she loves having you there.”
“She does, actually. We have a lot of fun, and those old ladies, man, they’re competitive and know how to talk some serious shit.”
“I need to see this to believe it.”
“Well, would you want to come?”
“To your ball-busting bowling game?”
“Yeah?”
“Hell yeah, pixie. I’m going. As long as my junk gets to stay intact.”
I put on my baby-blue jersey with “Ballbusters” written in elegant script on the back and hop onto Crew’s bike behind him.
Excitement flows through me at having him join me in this.
I love bowling with my grandma and her league, and the fact that Crew’s never been, heck, the fact that he didn’t even know what it is, makes me eager to give him a new experience.
We pull up outside of The Strike Zone, and I climb off his bike, Crew kicking down the stand and joining me. He gives the tip of my nose a chaste kiss before I grab his wrist and pull him inside.
After checking in to get our shoes, we walk to the end of the long building to where my grandma and her friends are congregating, probably gossiping and teasing each other.
My grandma sees us coming, and a smile lights up her face. My heart lodges itself right in my throat. I’ve never brought a man home. Ever.
“I was wondering if you forgot about us,” she teases. “You have stars in your eyes, my girl.”
I lean in to kiss her cheek. “Never in a million years. This is Crew. He’s going to bowl with us today, if that’s okay.”
“The more the merrier! It’s nice to meet you, Crew. I’m Roe’s grandma, Dee-Dee.”
“Nice to meet you, Dee-Dee.”
I turn to face the other women, who are looking at us with curiosity and intrigue.
“And these lovely spitfires are Rose and Iris.”
They eye him from head to toe, clearly checking him out. I think I even see Rose throw a wink our way.
“Do you three have no shame?” I tease. “Leave this poor man alone.”
They all laugh as my grandma shoos them away. “We’re going to get started while you two get set up.”
“Sounds good, Grandma.”
Crew and I move to the back chairs to switch out our shoes, and I use that time to check in with him.
“You doing okay?”
“I felt like they were undressing me with their eyes,” he says with a full-body shiver. I throw my head back in a laugh.
“You’re fine. Just stick with me.”
Once we’re laced up and find our balls, we move forward and set them in the ball return.
“I’ve never bowled before, so hopefully I can learn a thing or two from you ladies,” Crew announces innocently. I open my mouth to give him some reassurance when Iris speaks up first.
“Don’t worry, honey, we’ll teach you how to use your fingers the right way.”
Crew chokes, and I can’t hold back my laugh, so I slap a hand over my mouth. The moment the women turn their backs, he leans in, whispering in my ear.
“That funny, pixie? Pretty sure you’re well aware that I know how to use my fingers.” My face brightens, and I can feel the heat radiating off my cheeks. I’m not going to survive this.
All three ladies bowl before us, then it’s Crew’s turn. My stomach swoops with nerves for him, but he seems completely unbothered. Always so in control. Except when he isn’t.
“Just like they did—walk up, pull back, bring it forward, and let it go,” I encourage him.
“And don’t forget to bend your knees, sweet stuff,” Iris adds, and I shoot her a look of pure mortification.
Crew steps forward, and I hold my breath.
“Look at those arms, so strong and firm, shame if he rolls a gutter,” Rose says, and I bury my face in my hands.
My grandma chimes in with, “Girls, leave the poor boy alone. It’s not his fault he’s so tall, muscular, and handsome.”
“Grandma!” I whisper-shout. Though I can’t say that I blame them. I can’t stop looking, either.
“Ladies, you flatter me. But I’ve only got eyes for one girl,” Crew says as he winks at me before hustling to the line, pulling back, and releasing the ball. It sails into the air and lands with a hard bounce, careening into the gutter. I wince.
Iris walks up to Crew and squeezes his bicep. “It’s okay, happens to a lot of men. Performance anxiety.”
Oh dear god, it won’t be Crew that’s the death of me, it’ll be these old biddies.
“See? You get it! I was nervous, it was my first time!” he jokes, and my mouth falls open in shock. It’s quickly followed by a huge smile.
His second throw thuds halfway down the lane and then drifts into the gutter with no pins being knocked down. When he turns to face us, the women give him tips. They all seem to love him immediately, just like I knew they would.
By Crew’s fourth frame, he finally knocks down five pins, and you’d think he just cured world hunger with the way these women fawn over him.
I jump up, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He’s quick to return my hug, spinning me around.
It’s such a small, innocent thing, but he’s having fun, and it feels like I’ve given him something good, something genuine that he can keep with him forever.
When he sets me down, he turns to face his new fan club, bowing with a flourish.
“Thank you, thank you. I’d first like to thank the Ballbusters for teaching me how to ease into my first time, and to not be afraid to really go for it, you know?
” They all laugh and clap for him—Rose even wolf-whistles, the hussy—and it’s truly a wild spectacle of ridiculousness.
But he’s having fun. He’s lighter, more carefree.
He takes a seat next to me and drops an arm around my shoulders. “Your grandma’s friends are ruthless. I think I’m in love.”
“Like hell you are, Crew!” I go to push against his chest, but he grips my hands instead, kissing the inside of each wrist. I fall just a bit harder.
By the end of practice, I overhear them all discussing whether or not I’m going to be replaced by Crew, and I have to slap my hand against my chest in mock shock.
“You know we love you here, Roe, but this man and his tight jeans are mighty fine to look at.”
I know they’d never replace me, but the amused look on Crew’s face is totally worth all the shit they gave him tonight.