Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
CREW
Days pass in a blur of watching Monroe while she’s at work and spending every free moment with her. The clubhouse has been in a state of unrest since we tortured and killed Garrett, but we’ve yet to make a decision on whether or not we’re going after the Kingsnakes.
I’ve been avoiding seeing Morgan, unable to look her in the face with the amount of guilt and loss I feel. The rest of the clubhouse has stepped up to take care of her, Bristol, Kinsey, and the patch bunnies doing most of the work.
I don’t know what’s different about today, but I feel ready to see her, to talk to her privately.
After I drop Monroe off at work, I make a Daily Rise run, picking up my typical weekly order of whatever Mrs. Odette has for me, plus some of the blueberry scones I’ve seen Morgan eat a handful of times.
“I’ve got food!” I yell as I enter the clubhouse and drop two large pastry boxes on the bar. I grab the small bag for Morgan before anyone can dig into it and snag a chocolate muffin for myself.
“How are things going with your woman?” Sin asks as he reaches into one of the boxes and pulls out a glazed sunrise brioche.
“Incredible. I don’t deserve her, but I’m keeping her.”
“Story of our lives. They’re way too good for us, but they love us anyway.”
“That’s what makes them queens.”
“You seem different lately,” Sin says, looking at me and running his hand over his jaw. “Softer.”
I flick my knife out quickly and press the pointy end to his throat. “What was that?”
“She made you soft, Mal. Just like you said Bristol and Mr. Bun-Buns did to me. Welcome to the club, brother.”
I press the knife in just enough to nick him, a single bead of blood pooling around the silver, before jerking it away and closing it. “Mhm.”
“You won’t admit it, will ya, buddy?”
“Fuck off, Sin, leave him alone,” Wrath says as he takes a seat on one of the barstools, pulling out the burner phone.
“He doesn’t need to admit it for it to be true.”
“Do you have a death wish? Why push him?”
“Uhm, I’m right fucking here,” I say. “Talk about me when I leave the room.”
“Because our resident unhinged biker has now got a soft side. Same with me, Chaos, and Rogue. Looks like that leaves you, Wrath. No queen for you. Stay focused.”
“Oh, fuck off, Sin.”
“Aint no way in hell he settles down. His dick likes pussy and ass too much, and he likes the variety,” I add, giving him some shit.
Instead of pushing back like he typically would, Wrath stands quickly from his seat and heads out of the room. I roll my eyes dramatically at Sin.
“We’ll deal with whatever that was later, I’ve got someone to go apologize to.”
“Whoa! Apologize? Blink twice if Malice is still in there.”
I walk away from Sin at the bar, flipping him off and yelling as I go. “She made me soft, remember?”
I take the short walk over to Jesse and Morgan’s room on the second floor. Which I guess is just Morgan’s room now that Jesse is gone. I knock twice with the back of my knuckles, waiting for her to answer.
The door opens, and Morgan appears, wearing one of Jesse’s T-shirts and a pair of sweats. Her hair is pulled up in a messy nest on top of her head, her eyes red-rimmed and heavy.
“Can we talk?” I ask, tapping my middle finger against my thigh.
“Yeah, yeah, come in.”
I step into their room, and Morgan follows me, leaving the door open out of respect for both of us. I hand her the pastry bag with the scones and then run my hand through my hair.
“I’ve been a selfish dick. Emotion is hard for me, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been preoccupied, and truthfully, I couldn’t face you. It was too hard.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Crew. Everyone deals with grief in their own way.”
“No, but when a woman becomes an old lady, the club makes a promise to the member to take care of her long after he’s gone, and I failed to do that. I’m sorry. You deserved better from me, and so did Jesse.”
“Well, I appreciate your apology. Never thought I’d see the day Malice apologized or put his heart out there.”
“I’ve recently learned that I have a heart to begin with, so things are changing for me. How are you handling it all?”
Morgan pulls out the pastry and breaks off a piece of her scone, playing with it until it crumbles.
“I’m breathing.” She shrugs. “When you fall in love with a biker, you have to accept that there’s this chance, you know?
But you never think it’ll be you. Living without him is a pain I can’t describe.
It’s emptiness. I keep waiting for him to come home. ”
My heart breaks further, this chasm that aches. I want to run from it, but I push it down, cracking my neck from side to side. “He loved you more than life itself, Morgan. He needs you to keep living, and he needs you to eventually thrive.”
“He needs you to do the same. That man loved you so much. You’re all brothers here, but you were special to him.
When he got out of jail, and we were reunited, he told me about this punk-ass kid he met in there and couldn’t wait to bring you back to the clubhouse.
He saw something in you that you didn’t see in yourself.
He believed in you. It seems you’re finally starting to come around to seeing it, too. He’d be proud of you.”
I have to swallow down a hard, painful knot that’s formed in my throat before I can speak. “I’m convinced he brought her to me. That he knew she was exactly what I needed.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him. If his death brought something good out of all of this, then that’s something I’ll hang onto.”
“We’ll get through this together.”
“That’s what families do.”
I leave Morgan’s room a few minutes later, pulling out my phone to check on Monroe. The itch to go to her is strong, but I push it down, needing to check on a few club tasks before I head downtown to take her to lunch.
The clubhouse is a dead zone right now, everyone working and getting their shit done.
I check in with Noose and some other club members on the current prospects and if any have left since we shaved all their heads and threatened to cut out their tongues.
The next three hours go by in a blur, and I’m grateful for it. All I want to do is hug my girl.
I park my bike in front of Maggie’s since Monroe will want to walk down here for lunch anyway. I wait for her outside the mortuary, watching her on my camera as she cleans up her space and removes the paper gown thing she wears. Then she disappears, and my heart rate ratchets up with anticipation.
The doors open to the mortuary, and then there she is, a smile filling her face, her rose gold hair bouncing with each step she takes. When she gets halfway to the bottom step, she launches herself at me. I don’t expect it, but I’m ready anyway, catching her midair and swinging her around.
Monroe’s arms wrap around my neck as she kisses me. When Chaos and Sin found their old ladies, I let myself imagine what it would feel like to have someone’s face light up when they saw me. I never thought it would happen. Especially not from someone as pure as Monroe.
“I missed you,” she whispers against my lips. “It’s unfair you get to watch me all day, and I don’t get to watch you.” My eyebrows arch at her as I set her back down on her feet.
“That can be fixed, pixie girl. Are you good with Maggie’s today?”
“Yes! I am craving a BLT like you wouldn’t even believe,” she groans, and it’s so fucking cute. Monroe laces our fingers together as we head down the cobblestone street toward Maggie’s.
We don’t make it far before a voice snaps from behind us, demanding our attention.
“Hey!” I stop in my tracks, slowly turning to face the fucknuts who won’t leave Monroe alone. I crack my neck from side to side as annoyance rears its ugly head inside me. Monroe grips my hand tighter, her thumb swiping back and forth to calm me.
“Yeah?” I say.
“You need to leave Monroe alone. She’s not some victim you can just pluck from her life and steal away. You’re going to ruin her.”
I go to open my mouth to speak, to put him in his place, but Monroe takes a step forward, beating me to it.
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not standing right here, Zach!”
“Maybe if you had a fucking backbone, Roe, I wouldn’t have to. You’re gonna fuck up the life you get to live if you don’t walk away from this nutjob.”
“Newsflash, Zach, it’s my life! I get to choose how I spend it, and I am done living in the shadow of Tyler, Nora, and Javier!
I don’t owe you or anyone anything just because I survived.
I love him, and he is far better a man than you’ll ever be.
So judge me all you want, but stay the hell away from us! ”
Zach opens his mouth, but I step forward, draping my arm protectively over Monroe’s shoulder and shaking my head.
“No, no. The time for talking is over now, buddy. You can move along. A piece of advice, though, she has made it clear she wants you to stay away from her. Next time you violate that, you’ll have to deal with me and my brothers, and I promise we won’t be so nice. ”
Zach stares at Monroe with venom that has my blood boiling, but Monroe nudges me forward, clasping my hand and pulling me up the street.
“He’s such a dick, I’m so over him.”
“I’m proud of you for standing up to him. It’s not easy to do after what you’ve both been through.”
“It was long overdue. I’m ready to live, Crew, and I can’t do that with him constantly reminding me that it should have been his brother who lived instead of me.”
I stop in the middle of the sidewalk, my hands threading through her short pink hair and angling her face upward to look at me.
“I’ve walked my entire existence in the dark.
I convinced myself there was no good inside me, but you showed me how wrong I was.
They brought you back to life, and in turn, you did the same to me. ”
“Church!” Chaos yells the word through the clubhouse, and I have a moment where I want to dig my heels into the ground and refuse to go.
I don’t want to leave Monroe alone out here in the clubhouse hangout room.
She’s acclimating as best she can, but she still feels out of place and clings to me like a baby sloth. Not that I’m complaining.
Bristol must read my turmoil because she and Kinsey move closer, taking a seat on either side of her as I stand up.
“I’ll be back in a bit. You okay?” I ask her. She nods, and I tsk, leaning down to tuck her hair behind an ear.
“Words, pixie.”
“I promise, I’m good. Go!”
The girls laugh as I walk away, and my chest loosens some. I head into church, taking my seat next to Chaos, across from Sin. My eyes automatically drift to Rolo’s empty chair, and the loss hits all over again. Rogue pats me on the back, pulling my attention to him.
He and his old lady, Kinsey, got in this morning from Aspen Ridge, and it’s always nice to have them here. The club feels like the divorced parent who has to split their time with the kid, but it works better this way. For Rogue at least.
“Happy you found your queen, brother,” he tells me.
“Fuck knows why she decided to be with me, but she did.”
“Aw, don’t talk like that, buddy, you’re a catch,” Sin adds.
“Fuck off with that shit. Why are we here?”
Chaos speaks up from the head of the table.
“Wrath and Otto pulled info on Rolo’s blood brother.
Cain, whose legal name is Joshua Davis, just got out of the slammer after doing time for grand theft, rape, assault with a deadly weapon, and a slew of other shit last year.
Seems he really hit the ground running when he got out, didn’t take him long to take over a club. ”
“It’s not sitting right with me that this club was respected, that they were like us, keeping the peace, living their lives, and then this piece of shit comes along and takes it, destroys it. Garrett may have pulled that trigger, but Cain is the one who sent the order. I want him,” I demand.
Wrath nods his head, and I know he’s got my back on this. He’s not one to sit back and let shit go, just like me.
“I’ve been in touch with Saint. He’s got bad news and asked for a favor,” Wrath shares. All eyes are on him.
“Another one? He’s already asked us to get his club back for him.”
“According to Saint, Cain has eyes on his sister, Sienna, and will stop at nothing until she’s in his bed. Saint has been moving her from place to place the last two weeks, trying to keep her hidden, and Cain is burning shit to the ground to find her.”
“So what’s the fucking favor?”
“He wants us to take Sienna in under our protection. I already said yes.”
Chaos slams his fists down on the table, hard. “For fuck’s sake, Wrath! Another one? We can’t take in another fucking woman here!”
“We don’t turn them away, either! I’m meeting him tonight to pick her up.”
“And where the fuck is Cain?”
“Saint doesn’t know right now. Looking for Sienna.”
“Bring Malice and Rogue with you. Don’t get yourself fucking killed in the goddamn process.”
Well, this shit just got more complex. I don’t want to leave my little pixie, but I’m not about to let Wrath head into unknown territory without me.