Chapter Twenty-Nine
Friday
Ruby:
I wake up cold down one side and know Josh has left me here before I even open my eyes.
Every morning that I’ve woken with him, Josh has been wrapped around me so tightly I’ve had to physically prise his arm off my stomach just to turn over.
Today there’s nothing there, no weight against my back, no leg tangled with mine, no gentle kisses against my neck.
His smell is all around me and his duvet is pulled up to my chin. My body feels like I’ve been emotionally hit by a bus, and the entirety of last night smacks back into me like a punch.
No wonder he left. We almost kissed, and he confessed things to me he’s never said before.
I don’t know how he manages to be so open and so closed off at the exact same time, but he does, and now I’m lying in his bed with my head full of everything he said and no idea what the hell we’re supposed to be when I see him again.
Two weeks without him, of us being in this limbo, feels like a life sentence. I don’t know how I will get through it. I really don’t.
It’s only when I turn my head towards his pillow that I see a card.
There’s a box sitting where Josh’s face usually is, wrapped awfully, with my name written across the envelope on top.
I blink rapidly, waiting to see if it’s going to vanish but it doesn’t. “...What have you done?”
I reach for the card first, the envelope is bent at one corner and my name is scrawled across the front in black pen, the Y dipping lower than the rest of the letters. I slide a finger beneath the flap and pull the card out. It’s plain, with a picture of a dog and a Santa’s hat on it.
Rubes,
I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I know it’s selfish and you’re probably going to be fuming, but I couldn’t do it. I also know it’s only two weeks, but I didn’t want to pretend I’m not going to miss you. I am. Like… a shit tonne.
Look, I’m trying not to be a sappy git here, but that box is your Christmas present.
There’s one present for every day we’re apart and most of them are stupid, so don’t get excited.
I also FORBID you from opening them all in one sitting.
You HAVE to open them in the order I’ve set out.
They’re numbered, so these instructions shouldn’t be hard for you to follow ;).
Time for you to learn a bit of patience.
I’ll call you later. And probably text you before that.
Josh x
I read it twice before the meaning of one present for every day we’re apart fully settles in, and then I look at the box again with my mouth hanging open.
It’s an absurd thing to do for someone you are decidedly not in a relationship with.
I don’t even think people in relationships get this kind of treatment.
Who does something like this and then fucks off before they get to witness the reaction?
I pull the box towards me and start attacking the wrapping paper, which has been secured with enough Sellotape to survive a nuclear bomb.
It takes way too long until the paper eventually gives way and I lift the lid to find a mess of little parcels packed tightly inside, each one wrapped separately with a number scrawled across the top in thick black pen.
There’s a slightly bigger box than the rest with a fat 25 sprawled on top and another card taped to it.
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
A laugh bursts out of me. “You unhinged prat.”
I reach for number one and turn it over in my hands, trying to work out what it is through the paper, but there’s another tiny note stuck to the back.
Day 1: don’t be too pissed w me (:
I’m not surprised to open and see it’s a packet of Oreos.
My brain leapfrogs through all the little memories I have of eating Oreos with him.
Late night snack raids, library study sessions, after football snack.
Thinking about it, Josh nearly always seems to have a packet of Oreo’s on him at all times.
I pick up the card with the dog on, and read it once more, clinging to the last line with all that I am.
I’ll call you later. And probably text you x
As if summoned by me reading it, my phone vibrates on his bedside table.
JOSH (9:07): You up yet? x
RUBY (09:07): Did you seriously leave me in your bed? Alone? With zero goodbye?
JOSH (09:07): Morning, Sunshine x
RUBY (09:08): JOSH!!!
JOSH (09:10): I know, I’m sorry. I’m getting a lift back with Ewan and you looked so peaceful x
RUBY (09:11): I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A LIFT HOME, YOU COWARD.
JOSH (09:15): What if I told you there’s a flask of tea outside the bedroom door? A chicken wrap on the counter? And a box of presents next to your head?
RUBY (09:15): I’m not a magpie, you can’t buy me shiny things and hope I’ll look the other way when you ABANDON ME.
JOSH (09:20): Do you want me to come back?
RUBY (09:20): Don’t be stupid. I’m just being dramatic.
JOSH (09:21): I can come back tbh. We haven’t set off yet. I’m sat in your room at your halls waiting for Brooke to finish packing. x
RUBY (09:21): What? Why MY room?
JOSH (09:21): Shit, sorry. Do you mind?
RUBY (09:22): No, just curious x
JOSH (09:24): Wanted to be close to you before we left x
RUBY (09:25): Come back.
JOSH (09:26): You sure?
RUBY (09:26): JOSH IF YOU DON’T COME BACK AND SAY GOODBYE PROPERLY RIGHT NOW I WILL NEVER EVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN.
JOSH (09:30): On my way! X