Chapter 10 #2
“Hello,” Hope said as a pink-cheeked Haddie spun back toward the door, a chagrined smile on her face. She lifted the chair and set it back in its upright position beside the door and let out a nervous laugh.
“I wasn’t…” Haddie started. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” She shrugged. “Figured I could just lurk for a bit before deciding whether or not I wanted to come in.”
Hope held out a hand, and Haddie shook it. “You’re welcome to lurk inside,” Hope assured her in a reassuring tone. “We still have a few more chairs to fill.”
Haddie’s eyes met Levi’s, then darted away just as quickly.
What was Haddie even doing here? Had she followed him? He wasn’t sure that was even possible, considering her running shoes weren’t in their usual resting spot beside the front door when he’d left, which meant she’d already been gone. But then…why?
Haddie untied the hoodie around her waist and shrugged it over her shoulders, shoving her hands in the kangaroo pocket as she let Hope lead her inside.
She chose a chair that was neither near Levi nor in his direct line of sight, but it didn’t matter.
Her presence was suddenly true north, and Levi the needle of a compass with no choice but to follow.
“Feel free to introduce yourself and tell what brings you to the group,” Hope encouraged after taking her own seat again. “Or you can get your bearings while Levi does his introduction since it’s technically his turn.”
“She can go first,” Levi blurted out. “I’m totally okay with that.”
Haddie’s eyes met his, and she raised her brows. Then she straightened in her seat, rising to the challenge.
“Sure,” Haddie replied. “Might as well after that entrance.” Soft laughter traveled around the circle.
She had them wrapped around her finger already, Levi included.
“Hi…everyone,” she continued. “So, yeah. I’m Haddie.
The lurker.” More laughter. “And my friends Emma and Matteo, who I’m sure you all know, recommended the group since I…
um…just lost my grandmon…” She cleared her throat and shook her head.
“I lost my grandmother a couple of weeks ago. I’m new in town, and I just started teaching at Summertown Elementary.
I was really looking forward to starting fresh, but things haven’t exactly been going according to plan. ”
“You mean the budget cuts?” Tilly Higginson asked.
Haddie’s eyes widened, worrying she’d just endangered her job more than she’d meant.
“Oh, don’t worry, honey!” Tilly continued, waving her off. “It’s almost impossible to keep a secret in this town, even if you are Coach Crawford.”
Haddie let loose a relieved breath and then decided to go for broke since the cat was already out of the bag.
Her words picked up both volume and momentum as she went on.
“And I know football is everything to Summertown, but there are other important sports… I mean programs,” she amended, and Levi realized she understood that program cuts weren’t exactly public as far as she knew.
“And those programs are important to the kids who are in them and the faculty who sponsor them.” She smiled nervously. “What was I supposed to share again?”
Hope pressed her lips into a grin. “Your name and why you’re here. I think you covered that.”
“Right,” Haddie replied. “Anyone else want to overshare?”
Levi felt the air rush from his lungs as it all hit him at once.
Haddie in the hotel bar, the black dress that had seemed so out of place for someone who wasn’t a guest at Tommy’s wedding.
He hadn’t simply met Haddie on her birthday.
He’d met her on the day she’d buried her grandmother.
How had this never come up? It hit him then that despite having already lived with the woman for two weeks, he barely knew any more about her than he did that first night.
And now here was Coach Crawford taking away one more thing that she loved, and Levi had basically shrugged it off. He really was an asshole.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Hope told her.
Haddie gave her a painful smile. “Thank you.”
“A car wash!” Tilly Higginson chimed in.
“A what?” Haddie asked, confused.
“A car wash!” Tilly repeated. “Whatever programs need money, you should organize a car wash. It’s fun for the students, and I guarantee you that anyone in town who drives will be downright delighted, considering the nearest place to get a professional wash is a half hour outside of town.”
She let out a breath and smiled. “Thank you, Tilly. That is an excellent idea.” And while all eyes but hers seemed to pivot back to Levi, he was still staring at Haddie. Finally she turned to face him and shrugged, as if to say, Surprise!
“Levi?” Hope said, and Levi had to deliberately peel his gaze away from Haddie, trying his best to collect himself as he did.
“Right,” Levi replied, scratching the back of his neck.
“I’m Levi, and I’m here because a judge says I have to be,” he added coolly.
Might as well lead with the truth, right?
“I’m sure most of you have seen the YouTube video, or at least clips of it, floating around social media.
” He scrubbed a hand across his face. “I did something wrong, something I’ve never done before, and a judge who’d never met me before my sentencing decided that I had anger management issues stemming from unresolved grief.
” He let out a bitter laugh. “So… There you go.”
He waited for nods of understanding and received a few, but a quiet scoff made him flinch.
He cleared his throat and turned his direction back to his roommate, brows knitted together. “I’m sorry, but do you…have a problem with why I’m here?”
Haddie sighed. “No. I mean…okay…yes?”
“Yes?” he parroted.
“It’s just… That’s…it?” she continued. “Like…for real?” Her tone was gentle, yet he immediately went into defense mode.
“This is a grief support group, you know? We grieve.” She pumped two fists in the air like We grieve was the latest Muskies cheer.
“I guess I figured that if there’s anywhere you should feel safe to drop the everything-rolls-off-my-shoulders act, don’t you think it’s here?
” She winced at her own words, which meant she knew she’d stepped over the line.
He barked out a bitter laugh. “Says the woman who just rattled off her own grandmother’s passing in a very matter-of-fact list of what’s been going on in the past two weeks.”
“Levi!” Tilly Higginson cried in a tone that brought back such a visceral memory of his mom that he nearly lost it, and Levi didn’t lose it—except when asshole refs made bad calls.
“It’s fine,” Haddie said. “He’s right. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“See?” he replied, not sure if he was directing the ridiculously childish-sounding response to Tilly or Haddie or anyone else who was listening.
What. Was. Happening? These meetings were supposed to be a formality, not the relaunching of whatever sort of battle kept brewing beneath the surface of his and Haddie’s relationship.
Wait. Not relationship. Roommateship? That was a thing, right?
Whatever it was, after their texts last night, he’d thought…
What the hell did he think? When he and Haddie were able to hide behind a screen, it almost felt like they were making progress.
But whenever they came face-to-face? POW!
BANG! It was like a comic-book battle between hero and villain, and he couldn’t keep track of who was who.
When she didn’t immediately respond, he continued.
“There is nothing in my court order that specifies what I have to share at these meetings. I’m here, aren’t I? Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Of course it does,” Hope interjected. “But maybe this is about something else?” She motioned between Levi and Haddie.
“What?” they both cried in unison. “She’s just my roommate,” Levi added. “That’s it.” He gestured like he was a ref calling a slide into home plate safe.
“Right,” Haddie agreed with less conviction in her voice. “Just roommates. That’s it.”
She sounded…hurt? But that was it, right? That was what they agreed to, and they’d both stuck to that agreement.
He threw his hands in the air. “What do you actually want from me, Haddie?” he pleaded. “I said I was sorry. I gave you your space. And then last night…last night…” He groaned. “Why does my grief or lack thereof mean so much to you? You barely know me.”
“I don’t know, Levi,” she replied, more gently this time. “But you could maybe tell us why it meant so much to a judge.”
He tilted his head toward the ceiling and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he straightened and let loose a long sigh. “Because my very public mistake is very publicly available for anyone to see. It’s not a story worth telling.”
“I haven’t seen it,” Haddie admitted. “Maybe I want to hear it,” she added, her tone softer this time. “From you.”
When he finally looked at her again, all accusation had left her eyes.
And despite knowing that they were sitting in a room full of other people, at that moment, Levi felt like it was only him and Haddie.
No one else—not Matteo, not his father—had asked what happened.
They took what they saw as the whole story.
“Fine,” he relented, his voice as soft as hers. “You win.” He drew in a breath, and then he told her—and the group—everything.