Chapter 21 Cardinal Blues （Lena） #2
Face-to-face, it’s more like a matter of weeks.
Magical, life-bending weeks that have turned me inside out and made me wear my own skin like a scarf, but weeks, yes.
“He likes me, I guess.” I have to look away when I say it, blinded by the hurt, angry eyes Brady gave me right before I walked out.
“So, he’s at home, then, nursing a broken heart. Just like you,” she points out.
“He has the best girl for company. I miss that dog so much.” I break, smiling at her even as my lips quiver.
“Uh-huh,” Elle says incredulously. “You miss them both desperately. What would you say if this was me and August?”
“I . . . I’d make you pick up your phone and call him.
Oh my God, this is stupid, isn’t it?” I bury my face in my hands.
“But do I really have to be the one to call? He hasn’t said anything about the breakup.
Not publicly.” I peek at my phone, just in case anything slipped by me, but there’s nothing.
“I told him we were done. I said the arrangement was a ginormous mistake.”
“He’s a dude. I bet he doesn’t know what to say.” Now she sounds sympathetic. “Also, living in the media eye isn’t easy. It gets hella messy.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sigh.
There’s no argument there. Elle Marshall certainly has the experience to know.
Then again, so do I.
How many times did I play social media wonder girl alongside him, all so he could get his views in and let his followers peep at his life?
Kind of parasitic.
Except Brady’s social media presence is his life. His attempt to reinvent himself with a reputation that ranks above shriveled turkey vulture.
We talk like old times then. I rehash everything, leaving no ugly detail hidden, and the anger on her face is mine every time I mention Harry and his meddling.
“Forget messy. This is a fucking cataclysm.” I drop my head in my hands, breathing harshly.
Elle pats my shoulder. “Just a little. But we’re not panicking, remember? No freak-outs allowed on the boat. Captain’s rules.”
I shake my head.
“This doesn’t have to be the end. You can pick the scab off and let the scar fade over time. Don’t let some corkscrew dickhead ruin a good thing,” she whispers.
“Only in the universe where Harry keeps his nose out of my business. Not this one. I’ve already walked and accepted my heartbreak.
” I stare through her. The longer there’s radio silence from Brady, the sooner he moves on and forgets the timid mouse who was never cut out for a relationship, real or otherwise.
Those scorpions in my stomach are turning into rattlesnakes.
“Thanks for trying to clear my head,” I say, even though we both know I came along to humor her.
That’s the thing about heartbreak, I guess. It poisons everything else.
God. I keep calling it heartbreak, don’t I? All while I’m conveniently avoiding what that means.
“You wanna know what I came up with while I was plotting my latest Kiki the Koala book? Blue the cardinal pays her a visit because his wife is pissed at how nice he’s being to Polypops the one-eyed squirrel who keeps destroying their nest.”
“You named a cardinal Blue?” I smile at the absurdity. “Even though cardinals are—”
“That’s why it’s a banger to illustrate, okay!
But listen . . . so Blue decides to go all manly man to win her back.
Next time Polypops comes tearing apart their nest, looking for acorns, Blue tries to talk him down.
He invites them to sit down for some eucalyptus tea with Miss Kiki, and of course Polypops laughs in his face because he’s a giant asshole.
But they make such a racket shouting at each other that Barry Barred Owl overhears and takes things into his own hands . . .”
“Oh no.” I blink at her. “Kinda dark for a kid’s book, no?”
“Heyyy, it’s not like the squirrel gets eaten!
Barry just carries him off so he can cool his heels, and Blue spends hours rebuilding the nest. When he’s done, it’s better than ever.
And when his wife comes home, she’s crying.
Totally happy and apologetic because she remembers how much Blue loves her and how he’ll do anything, even when he never really had a chance against squirrel bro. ”
It’s so silly I’m laughing, making these honking sounds that leave my face burning.
“But are you saying there’s a moral?” I ask when I can speak again. “I don’t think we’ll ever have a Barry swooping in on our squirrel.”
God, I wish.
“No, but someone’s trying to save your nest. Would it really be so bad to let him?”
Knife, meet heart.
Her big, soul-searching eyes nearly drop me on my face. The realization hits like lightning.
I’m in love with my Blue.
I love Brady Pruitt.
And here I am, blowing up and acting bonkers because I love him so truly and deeply and he’ll never know.
I’ve lost my shit—and the plot—because I’m terrified Harry Jay will exploit the past to run him off like he did to my mom.
I don’t answer, but I don’t need to.
A knowing smile hangs on Elle’s face as she gets up to call into the cabin, telling the captain we’re ready to start making our way home.
We stare at the pretty scenery a little while longer while rocks bang around my head and Elle tells me about their home away from home.
Woe is me.
The kind of misery that no number of tall trees and scenic rocks and a glimpse of a black bear can fix.
The bear’s pretty cool, though, no lie.
And I feel a little lighter as the boat slides back into its dock and my phone finally pings.
But it’s not Brady.
It’s Dr. Ezzie, and her text is just a link to a news story.
A Seattle news story.
An exclusive about big-time developer Harry Jay and some insanely dirty business dealings.
Every drop of blood drains from my body as I read.
The article discusses the myriad ways Harry manipulated property owners to accept his offers: strong-arm sales involving code violations, county fines, sudden liens out of nowhere.
The same familiar shit show he’s made us live.
“Oh my God,” I manage, taking a seat on a bench by her docks. “Holy shit.”
“Holy what?” Elle yanks the phone from my hand and starts scrolling, her eyes flicking with excitement. “Lena . . . this is brilliant!”
“It’s something,” I grunt. I feel like I need to be coached to remember how to breathe. “It’s—”
A disaster.
A death wish.
No way in hell will Harry ever let this go.
Everything I thought I was protecting Brady from just sealed his fate. And just like Elle’s blue cardinal, I’m scared he’s picked a fight he can’t win.
But Elle doesn’t see it that way, of course, not when her glass is always half full.
“Now you’ve got him. This is huge!” she whoops.
“This wasn’t me. I didn’t do anything.”
“No, but between you and Brady, you’ve got that jerkwad’s balls in the vice.” She leans over the dock and spits like the delicate lady she is.
“He is a jerkwad,” I agree.
“Think about it, Lena—he doesn’t deserve to get away with any of this shit. It’s not just what he put you through. The article says there must be at least a dozen people he’s screwed over.” She points a finger at me. “You see it now? You know what you have to do?”
I know the argument Brady and I had at his apartment. He wanted to fight so bad, and I wouldn’t let him.
I ran away.
I bowed out with his heart, and I even left Dr. Ezzie high and dry.
Chickenshit.
I have to admit, Elle has a point, even if she drives it home in the weirdest ways.
I’m so sick of being afraid.
Afraid of what Harry will do to me. Afraid of what he’ll do to my clinic. Afraid of what it means if I love another man after he hurt me so much.
One man ruined my past and present, but I let him.
Do I really want to hand over my future too?
No way.
No effing way.
I’m not turning over my career, my life, and the only man who’s ever treated me better than an annoying cactus.
If I don’t want other people fighting my battles, it’s time to go home and go to war.
“You’re smiling,” Elle says uncertainly.
“Well, yeah. I’m about to open up some long-overdue hell.”